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Hmszelda blogged
Feb 26, 13 1:58pm

Tuesday, Tuesday, gotta post a blog on Tuesday!

Well, since I did a blog about my favorite game/forum, I'll make this one all about different forums. And Thursdays about games. :D

Forums I am new in:
It's still a small community, but this game really does look interesting.
We are all speculating away, so join us maybe? ;)

Basically the same as Dream Team...
But there is one difference...
This one has golf.

Forums I am "old" in:
The perfect combination of writing and roleplaying, this welcoming group is always looking for new members to duel with!

Like pokemon? Trading, battling, talking?
So do we! So come join a clan, we all like new guys, I swear!

Like writing? Like roleplaying? Like blogging? Like comicing?*
Want to let others see your work and get feedback? Everyone here loves to be entertained, by all skill levels!
*about pokemon

Forums I am a "middle man" in:
Whether it be a general question, wanting a read, or wanting someone to read your work, this is your place!
Writer's are welcome!

The LoL forum is for everything from discussion, to asking for matches/due partners, to bragging!
With a vast amount of things to do, it's hard to be bored there.

My special forum:
I know I made a whole post about it but, this is such a nice forum!
The mod doesn't even bite!
With the game fast approaching, it is your source for the news and speculation, and soon for Q&A and match making!
Stop by today!

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Maximus 3 blogged
May 11, 13 8:38pm

Victory Rush

An Analysis on Why Victini-EX isn't
Completely Terrible

Leading up to and continuing past the release of Plasma Storm, I've found that a lot of people have been dismissing Victini-EX out of hand, mostly due to it's lack of HP.

Matching Celebi and Shaymin at a low 110 Hit Points, Victini finds itself blitzed by quite alot and just absolutely crushed by even a Turn 2 DCE'd Keldeo-EX, the variants of which are some of the most common and powerful decks currently in format.

Even Lugia-EX, who is kind of terrible in and of itself, can one shot a Victini for 3 prizes with ease.

But what people seem to be forgetting is that's sort of the point. Sure Lugia, Keldeo, Articuno and a slew of others can blitz Victini with ease, all 3 take time to set up. Keldeo takes at least 2 turns to set up, barring a miracle Ether, and most all other EX's are just as Energy Hungry.

Only Cobalion, Landorus, Mewtwo, Mew and Tornadus have any kind of chance to hit Victini Turn One and even then, none of them can go for the One Shot KO without additional cards like Pluspower to help out.

So that being said, Victini EX has to put on just a bit of fantastic to really serve any kind of competitive edge, 3 energy for 50 and a possible 100 seems kind of terrible, and although Turbo Energize offers a nice little charge for whatever you might have benched, the sad fact is that you still can't attack till at least Turn 2 (If you have DCE's) and unless it's an EX you're attacking, a paltry 50 really isn't worth the charge.

Of course, 50 and a possible 100 for no energy whatsoever is considerably better.

Okay, downsides of Victory Piece first. It takes up your Ace Spec slot, so you lose the opportunity to use Computor Search, Gold Potion, Dowsing Machine and Scramble Switch. (Although the loss of Gold Potion isn't too bad)

Two, being an Ace Spec, you can only have one in your deck, giving you a 1 in 59 chance of drawing it into your first hand and then if you prize it, your entire engine becomes bogged down and entirely luck based.

Also, if it ends up in the discard pile, unless your engine runs with Sableye, it's there for good.

Now, why is it so good? Because really, unless you pull it first turn it really is just kind of sitting there taking up space. But really, if you're building any kind of Victini deck, you pretty much need to stack the deck into pulling your Victory Piece turn 1.

A Supporter list that includes 4 Skyla's gives you a good chance of pulling it in your first hand and a couple of Random Recievers and maybe even an Xtransceiver to increase your odds of getting Skyla Turn One.

Now I've already talked about what tramples Victini, but what exactly does Victini dominate?

Well for one, Cobalion-EX variants may as well just accept their eventual defeat, Cobalion knocked out in 1 attack due to weakness and any and all Klinks and Klangs tackled before they can make the jump to Klinklang and throwing up that ever useful EX wall it supplies to all Steel Type Pokemon.

A Celebi on the bench makes for easy Catcher Bait, as does Shaymin and even the ever unstoppable Mewtwo needs, at a minimum, 6 energies to One Shot a Victory Pieced Victini, which is at least 3 turns by attachment.

Of course, Victini-EX is obviously an Early Game card, should the match start dragging you're going to find yourself fighting uphill more and more.

So what do you pair Vicitini with? You could pair it with Landorus-EX or the stock standard Mewtwo, sitting on the bench being charged while Victini leads the way.

Personally, I love it with Tornadus-EX.

Like Mewtwo, you can get Tornadus up and running while Victini runs ahead, and again it's energy costs are purely Colorless and with a retreat cost of one, running it with Skyarrow gives it free retreat, and an attack that hits for 60 with a single DCE.

But that Skyarrow also gives Victini-EX free retreat, allowing you to chop and change as the going gets tough (although not quite as freely as Keldeo) getting Tornadus out without the need for a Super Scoop Up, a Switch or a wasted energy attach. Running like that just makes Tornadus the obvious choice, of course things like Mewtwo, Mew and, oddly enough, even Darkrai tech into Victini rather well.

What about Trainers then? Well we've already talked about why Skyla is essential and how a teched in Random Receiver or Xtransceiver can be handy, but what else is there?

Well your standard Catchers of course, and although I'd personally run Colress over N that's left up to personal choice and as far as I'm concerned if you aren't running Hypnotoxic Lasers, you should be shot.

But what Victini really benefits from is chop and change game play, bringing it back to the hand, keeping Victory Piece and, most importantly, keeping your Victini's damage free.

Super Scoop Ups and Max Potions are Staple here, hell, Max Potions are made for Victini, a pokemon needing no energy at all, a Max Potion played with no drawbacks in return. It's a match made in card game heaven, not to mention the Super Scoop Ups, which help in keeping the Victory Piece safe in case of a lack of Potions.

So maybe Victini might not make the greatest impact on the Metagame, being a lot more frail and a good deal riskier than a lot of it's peers, but at the same time there's definitely some merit to be found in it, enough at least for Victini to not just be cast to the side and forgotten.

Now Moltres-EX and Zapdos-EX, those are some forgettable cards.

Written By Jordan Briggs For PokemonAus
Copyright Jordan Briggs and Shifty Hippo Media 2013

other musingsthoughts

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MrGrimm blogged
May 24, 13 3:13pm

based on a true story

featuring the titillating characters from the STEPHANIE MEYER UNIVERSE.


edwardo waxes his brow... his brow is furrowed tonite becuz he is emotionless. but he releases a bit of gas to prove slightly dat he is capable of love. he sees soul girl of dreams. her tendrils of white tentacle things blows freely in da breeze like vines from a swamp tree....

"edardo, if you loove me... ples let me attach to your brain' said girl tentacle from the palm of edwardos hands. "we will be together forever'.

"alien white tentacle thing i love u" edwardo as he sniffed her up his nose into his brain cavity


okay some time later -

edardo and girl thing now share the same brain "edwardo... oh my" alien girl thing says. edwardos hairy pectorals were explosed because for some reason his shirt is unbuttoned

"i haf never felt the touch of such a furry purple nipple" alien girl thing said and prompted endwardo to try and touch his own nippols

"o my god what da *** is this" edwardo kinda is too cool for this kind of **** and he resisted with his will. alien girl wouldnt be havin none of this tho "edwardo, touch ur nippol now" and edwardo culd feel his arm tensing up, strength of soul girl too strong, but he was resisten hard and then suddenli

"WAT DA **** GOIN ON IN HERE" jakup appeard thru ventilation shaft and he had no shirt because he forgot his deodorant at home.

he found edwardo in a compromising position, sort of grabbin at his own forearm while his other hand kinda pointed towards his own nippol... edwardo was sweating a lot from the exersion so much that droplets sparkled in the light on his second chin



"no jakup" suddenli edwardos voice was kinda high pitched like mabbe he had some kind of girl controllin his brain or somthin. "JAKUP NO U CANT GO WITH BELLA!!" he pitched in a high screench

"WHY NOT?" jakup said his voice kinda broke on da last syllable

"becaus jakup..."




-2 minutes suspense-

"BECAUZ I LOVE U" and endwardo suddenly movin forward awkwardly tryin to grab at jakup

"o **** no" jakup backed up and used his werewolf powers to avoid tripping over stray objects in the room

edwardo suddenly tho was't movin towards jakup

"no!!!!" edwardo screamin and tearin at self "no i dnt love u wat da ***??"

jakup kidna gettin confused at the mixed signals here


edward began to speak in his mind "SOUL GIRL WUT DA *8**" he mind yelled at her "was this ***& about LAVIN JAKUP" edwardso face was angry lookin

soul girl "im sorry edwardo... but u were never the reason i crossed over from the other book, i am not here for u....


to be continued

yea yea i know ur all excited to find out what happens next just gonna have to wait until NEXT WEEK.

other romance stupid

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MrGrimm blogged
Jun 01, 13 12:15pm

i have started the next one.

its about crazaak and he is the best forever and for all times.

are u askin now "wats goin on here" well ok i get that, and u can just read here to find out

the short story is that this is amazing. the long story is you should read it. i started this out a loonnng time ago probably about 5 years ago. It just started with me and a friend posting on a forum and were kinda taking a playful jab at roleplaying? we kinda got carried away.

we used to roleplay seriously at one point, and it's kinda fascinating. Just setting up some characters, setting some parameters, and just going with the flow. what this does is kinda recognize it for what it is, goofy and fun.

yes these are all done on gaiaonline just because that's where we started it.

musingsthoughts other suggestion command awesome

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Clief blogged
Jan 04, 13 3:11am

Hello people reading this Blog, which probably isn't too many.

It's been over a year, close to 2 years since i put up a blog and i didn't get too many people looking at them. But oh well, even if one person would like to read about my life, that's one person who's experiencing something :).

I think I'll reveal who i am in little parts as i continue to do these blogs, so without further a do, i shall reveal something small about my online self as opposed to who i am in real life this time around.

Basically I'm known as Clief, or Clief101, depending where i am. I frequent the FF, NDL, COD, DB forums around here, probably not too well known as a member but have been around for close to 3 years, racking up my post count. In fact i am the third highest poster in the NDL, or Neo-Duelist League, so i do try to talk a fair bit, with a bit of up beat personality added into those posts of course. That's not all i am though. I also, if you look at my signature, have a Youtube channel. I upload commentaries over gameplays, or i used to. It's been some time since i actually did it consistently until a few weeks ago when i started uploading for frequently. Unfortunately, a lot of my subs don't watch my videos anymore, so my views have gone from over a hundred to below ten, but never the less, i shall push on to build my sub base once more. Maybe some people reading this will go check it out.

I make my own signatures too, not very good ones mind you, but good enough so people don;t laugh at them. To be fair, some of the ones i've made deserve laughing at...i laughed at them :). I also do creative writing in the NDL, with some of my work posted in the Chronicles thread, you should go check some of it out if you're interested. I've nothing but good feedback in terms of the story, i know it needs to be polished, but they are merely drafts for a much larger piece of work. That's mostly my online life right there. You will find other footprints around of me, but mostly in forums that are dead now, or dont have much activity, which is why it's left to pretty much the two sites i've mentioned.

If anyone does read this, please leave a comment for me, or a like, so i know at least one person is interested in reading more. It wont make a difference as to whether i continue or not, but it would be nice knowing people at reading :)

Clief signing off, have a good day :D

neoseeker related other musingsthoughts

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Clief blogged
Jan 05, 13 1:59am

Hello readers :)

So even though I'm quite sure there is no one reading this, I'm still going to share my day with everyone. Today, i thoroughly cleaned my car. The inside, even with a cloth, the outside, even washing all my windows. needless to say, it's the cleanest my car has been since i bought it a little over a year ago. But i wasn't finished with just cleaning my car, no, i also cleaned up a part of my house. It looks heaps tidier now, i even tidied up all my movies and games, instead of them lying all over the floor. Tomorrow I'll probably clean up my room a bit, I'm sick of looking at it's mess. Well, i kinda cant see the floor :D.

That's not all i did today though, I played a bit of Call of Duty: BO2, got a little annoyed at it, so instead switched it out for Tales of Graces: f. I'm actually playing it as i type this up. It has to be my favourite JRPG since FFX came out, or FF7: Crisis Core...or even KH2. They just dont make good JRPG's these days, which is a little annoying. I find companies are too focused on graphics these days in any sort of game, and sacrifice a good story for it, which sucks. I'd rather play a bad looking game with a good story than look at something pretty. But I suppose developers will eventually learn this...perhaps.

I also uploaded a new video to my Youtube Channel. I'll leave a link for those that wish to watch it. I quite enjoy getting back into doing commentaries, I love entertaining people, which is why I'll continue to write a blog. I'll try to get one up every day, however hard it may be...lets hope i get some readers :)

I will continue to type up my thoughts on certain topics, r just let you all know what happened during my day, whichever i feel like writing at the time.

Here is the video as promised. If you could, check the actual video out and give it a like and a comment, it helps me out a lot.

Until next time,


other xbox 360 musingsthoughts gaming related

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ShadowNc blogged
Jan 24, 13 11:43am

December 25th, 2003.

Zack, Uranus and Elementor stood on the top of a building on the far-off planet Terra. This planet was Zack’s eggsack, the planet he was borne of. Together, the three of them were planning their final strike against the last of the Original Six: Scott and Earth.

“Sir, who exactly are we waiting for?” Uranus asked their leader.

Zack grunted, “As you know, this Hextant of the universe has been excluded from Earth’s view for millennia. As such, the lifeforms have been allowed to populate this galaxy as they see fit. They have evolved into many different species, but they all come from the same root species.” He paused, taking a deep breath, “The Demizians.”

“I thought they were a myth,” Elementor said quietly.

“They’re not,” Zack whispered, “The Original Six fought them, long ago, as a sort of test to see if they were ready. It was because of the Demizians that each of us became who we were: Zatch, though he never found it out, was the reincarnation of the God of Chaos; Alex had his sight taken away; Kristen rose above the rest of us and became our leader; Scott fell in love with Kristen; and Earth...he proved he could be a capable fighter, under the right circumstances.”

“Such as?”

Zack turned to Uranus, “Do you ever wonder why he takes the name Nicholas Sven?”

Uranus shrugged.

Zack turned back towards the stars above, “He added to his code name so that it meant ‘Victory of the People’. The Sven part comes from his late friend, a Demizian who had the same name.”

“Late?” questioned Elementor.

“Sven was killed,” Zack explained, “So Earth wiped out the Demizian race.”

“And you, sir?” Uranus asked, “How were you affected?”

He chuckled, “It was the reason I decided to destroy them all.”

Uranus nodded, and then frowned, “I know my brother well, and I am aware that he tends to brag. However I have never heard him mention the destruction of these Demizians.”

“The strain was too much for him,” Zack said, “Kristen had his memory wiped. Now I am the only one that remembers the annihilation of the Demizians. However, soon enough that will all change.”


“You see, the Demizians were ruled by a small family that led what is called the Disordinance Chain. It’s a sort of space pirate group. One of this family was able to escape the destruction. Which is lucky, because they were the strongest of their race.”

“Are we to meet them, then?” Elementor deducted.

Zack snapped his fingers, “Very good. I’ve managed to make contact with the last of the Demizians: Lord Varmur.”

There was a twinkle in the sky and a great ball of fire raged down from the heavens. It fell, striking a nearby building. Zack motioned to his companions, “Come along, then.”

They descended from their perch and ran to the crashed spaceship. From it rose a purple figure with dark red markings across his face. He grabbed what appeared to be a form of armor and put it on. It melded to his body, spreading so that it covered him entirely, and turned white. He was muscular, with the body of someone in their prime youth. His feet only had three large toes, each the size of three fingers put together. His eyes, diamond-shaped, had red irises. He lacked ears, but had a long dark purple tail extending from the base of his back. It swished back and forth as he grunted, “Well, don’t all of you start talking at once.”

Zack bowed, and his companions followed suit, “Lord Varmur, we welcome you to my planet.”

Varmur frowned and raised a hand. He pointed it off to the side of them and shot off a beam of energy. The beam incinerated several blocks of skyscrapers, leaving nothing behind. Elementor and Uranus looked on in awe as Varmur grunted again, “There, that’ll make an excellent shopping mall. Or a Capital building. From which I will rule the people of this planet.”

“There are no people living here,” Zack informed him.

Varmur sighed, “How unfortunate. I guess this planet truly is useless, then.”

“We know of another, however.”


“In the First Hextant. A rating-5 planet known as Earth.”

Varmur mulled over this, “The First Hextant, eh? Why would I want to extend my reach all the way out there just for this Earth?”

“It has a population of over seven billion,” Elementor pointed out.

Zack nodded, “We want your help in conquering this planet. You can rule over the people all you want. All we ask is for you to leave to us the two that you have the most difficulty fighting.”

Varmur narrowed his eyes, “The two that pose the greatest threat? That’s oddly specific.”

Zack growled, “They are mine and mine alone to destroy. If anyone kills them, I will have no choice but to kill their killers. It’s nothing personal.”

Varmur chuckled, “And what if I do kill one of these two? Would you really attempt to kill me, Lord Varmur?”

“We’ll see,” Zack said threateningly, “Scott and Nick will certainly stand some sort of a challenge.”

At this, Varmur seemed to pale. He took a step back, “Did you say...Nick? As in Nicholas Sven?”

“Intimidated?” Zack said, grinning slyly, “He did kill your brother and slay your entire race. What is that name your people called him? The Raging Inferno?”

Varmur growled, “This changes things. I will have vengeance for my brother. I will kill Nick myself.”

Zack roared, “You will do no such thing!”

Varmur smacked Zack across the face, “Just try to *bleep*ing stop me!”

Uranus and Elementor sprung into action. Uranus drew Venom, slashing at Varmur, who grabbed the blade and threw him into a nearby building. He leaped into the air, firing down a bolt of energy at Elementor, who collapsed and did not move.

Zack stumbled to his feet and drew Liberty. He flew up to Varmur’s level and slashed hundreds of times per second. Varmur merely dodged every strike, crossing his arms casually. He lashed out, knocking Liberty from Zack’s hand and then charged a ball of energy. He threw it at Zack and it exploded on impact. Zack fell to the ground, watching weakly as Varmur descended to the ground, placing one three-toed foot on his chest.

“Are...are you going to crush me?” Zack asked, frightened.

“No,” Varmur replied, “Because I know you can’t get in my way. If Nick has given you trouble, then I am obviously a better match for him than you. But if you do get in my way,” he leaned in close, spitting in Zack’s face, “I will kill you.”

With that, he gathered energy, and then blasted away into space. Zack slowly got to his feet, and turned to Uranus. He sighed, “We will wait ten years. By then, either Nick will have defeated Varmur, and I will kill him; or I must kill Varmur myself. Either way, we’re pretty screwed.”


March 1st, 2004.
London, England.

Earth walked through the streets of London, quite content with himself. It was snowing. He had come across little trouble in almost ninety years now, and it was a streak he rather liked. He was, simply put, in a very good mood.

Suddenly, a point in the sky brightened, and a shooting star appeared in the sky. It descended upon the city, and crash-landed in a fiery explosion.

Earth sighed, “I’ll take eighty-nine. It’s close enough.” He took off, running towards where the meteorite had landed.

He came to a city square where people were running in the opposite direction. There were screams of disturbance as Earth saw what had landed: Lord Varmur.

He looked at Earth, wearing now a helmet that had four spikes extending back, and it concealed his mouth. It had tinted glass over his eyes, obscuring them. Only the red irises could be seen. He chuckled, a deep guttural sound from inside the helmet. He pointed a finger at Earth, “You.”

Earth glanced around and then pointed at himself questioningly, “Me?”

Varmur nodded, and then removed his helmet. He said grandly, “I am Lord Varmur of the Disordinance Chain.”

“Never heard of it,” Earth said blankly.

Varmur growled, “You killed my brother.”

He rubbed his chin, “What was his name?”

“Incin,” Varmur said through gritted teeth, his rage growing.

Earth thought for a moment, and then stared at Varmur, narrowing his eyes. He opened his mouth and spoke one word: “Who?”

Varmur’s anger broke, and he flew forward. He put on his helmet in midair, and attempted to punch him. Earth dodged out of the way, saying, “Whoa!”

Varmur continued attacking, and each time Earth evaded, saying some variation of “Whoa!” “Hey!” or “Wait!”

Earth leaped, landing on Varmur’s back as he descended upon where he had been standing. He wrapped his arms around Varmur’s neck, saying, “Can we just talk about this?”

Varmur rolled back, slamming Earth into the ground. He grunted, “You annihilated my entire race!”

“I did no such thing!” Earth said. He threw Varmur off of him and then got to his feet, running away. Varmur flew after him, smashing through any obstacle that came into his way. Earth turned, saying, “Halt!”

Varmur stopped, floating in place. Earth breathed heavily, “What is it that you want from me?”

“I simply want to conquer your planet, kill you, and avenge my brother. Whom you killed.”

Earth drew in a deep breath, “Alright. So same old, same old. Now the problem with that is that it involves killing me. Which, frankly, no one has been able to do. That’s why I’m still alive. I’m just too good at staying alive for everyone else’s sake.”

“That will change today,” Varmur said ominously.

“Yes,” Earth said, holding up a finger, “Wait, no. No, I cannot allow that. I simply require- okay, who are you?! This is seriously annoying, I have a great memory, I don’t even understand...”

Varmur sighed, “I represent the DiVormaSordinance Chain, or DVS Chain for short. I conquer planets and rule them over as my own.”

Earth narrowed his eyes, “How can you? The only life in the universe is in this solar system.”

Varmur laughed, “Do not lie to me. The Third Hextant is plentiful with life. Well, until I slaughter them all and/or conquer their planet.”

Earth mulled this over, and then asked, “Why do you do this?”

“The Demizian home galaxies, Sordinance and Di, have never been plentiful ones. We must take our resources from other planets in other galaxies.”

Earth nodded, “Ah, I get it now. So the Demizians are like the Mongols. And Earth is like Japan.”

“I do not know your history, nor understand it, nor care in the slightest for it,” Varmur said, bored.

“The Mongols,” Earth explained, “Were a great, powerful warring empire, which survived by conquering others. However, they put all their efforts into taking Japan, but the military was crippled due to a typhoon. The Mongols soon after were driven into nonexistence by the people they had conquered earlier. Can you guess the name of the typhoon?”

“I already told you that I don’t care,” Varmur said, tightening his fists.

“It came to be known as Kamikaze. Which is Japanese for ‘Nicholas Sven!’” Earth said triumphantly, readying his fighting stance.

“No it’s not!” said a British bystander, “It’s Japanese for Divine-”

“Shut up!” Earth yelled, “I’m making a point!”

“You’re making a fool of yourself!” called back the Brit.

“You’re both wrong,” said Varmur, “You’re digging yourself a grave.”

He punctuated this by forming a ball of energy in his fist and throwing it at Earth. He held it in place, but was pushed back, his feet digging into the ground. He took a few steps forward, grunting, and then threw it back at Varmur, screaming “Ha!”

Varmur grabbed the ball and then teleported behind Earth, releasing it upon his back. Earth was flung forward like a rag doll.

Varmur pointed at him, shooting beams of energy sporadically at his body. Earth was pummeled, and then when Varmur stopped, he collapsed, bleeding heavily.

“Huh,” Earth said, “That happened.”

“Now you know the extent of my power!” Varmur said dramatically.

“I’m not used to seeing this much of my own blood anymore,” Earth said to no one in particular, “I could really use a drink right now.”

“Hey!” Varmur shouted, “Are you ignoring me?”

Earth said nothing. He stood and then turned to Varmur, saying, “You know, I’ve decided something. Even though you are first form of life I’ve encountered outside of this galaxy, you really don’t deserve to live. Which isn’t to say I will kill you, no. I’m just going to beat all the imperfections out of you. And if you die in the process, so be it. I’ll probably regret it later, but it’s just that I’m so irritated, because this little alien shit strolled onto my planet, destroyed a bunch of random buildings that no one cares about, and is trying to impress me like I’m his alcoholic father!”

Varmur growled, swooping down. He attempted to punch Earth, but he merely grabbed his fist. Varmur stopped short, saying, “What the...” He punched with his other hand, which Earth blocked, spinning him around. Varmur kicked him in the chest, but Earth was unfazed. He simply smiled.

“Varmur, you have made a grave mistake.” Earth turned, throwing him into a nearby building. He unsheathed the Fli Sword, and it burst into flames. As Varmur crashed out of it, Earth swung his sword, smacking the side of his head like a baseball. There was a deep crack as the helmet split, but did not come apart. Earth stabbed his sword through Varmur’s chest, tearing a deep gash down his body.

Varmur groaned, and then lashed out, grabbing his sword. He ripped it out of his body and out of Earth’s grasp. He turned, whipping Earth with his tail while he threw the Fli Sword off into the distance.

Earth growled, punching Varmur straight in the face. His fist struck the helmet and glanced off, and Earth cringed. He made a small, weak noise as he unclenched his fist in pain. Varmur took the opportunity and kicked him in the chest, pushing him back. He formed two chakrams in his hands, and flew forward, stabbing one into Earth’s stomach.

Earth coughed up blood, and some splattered onto Varmurs face. He twisted the chakram and then pulled back, swinging the other towards Earth’s neck. He quickly raised his arm to block, and cried out in pain as it struck him, tearing through his flesh and striking bone.

Earth groaned, kneeing Varmer in the stomach. Varmur was unaffected, merely whipping his tail around to wrap around his leg. His tail pulled back, and Earth was stretched, the chakrams digging deeper into his arm and stomach.

Earth closed his eyes, the pain becoming unbearable. He felt his leg snap out of place, and then Varmur raised his leg, which held a small but deadly knife. Earth cringed, expecting the worst, and prayed for it to be painless...

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Earth was struck, but not with a knife. It was large and dull, like a steamroller. Earth’s eyes flashed open to see that he was falling out of the sky, and a flash of blue was bearing him along. He was spinning out of control, and barely a few seconds later he crashed to the ground.

He looked at what had struck him and could not believe his eyes. He groaned, and got to his feet, saying:

“Did I just get hit by a phone booth?”

The booth, which was on its side and pouring steam, opened its door and a man rolled out of it on his side. He wore a dark green velvet frock coat, silver waistcoat and a cravat. Earth also noted his shoes, which were remarkably fancy. He had long, curly, light brown hair that extended beyond his shoulders.

As he sprung to his feet, Earth held a hand to his face, “I think I might have suffered head trauma, because there’s no way this is happening.”

The man turned towards him, saying, “Is that quite right?” in a British accent. He walked up to him, pulling what appeared to be a flashlight of sorts with a blue tip out of his pocket. He pressed a button and it made a peculiar buzzing sound. The man waved it at Earth’s head and then let go of the button, and then looked at it. “Oh, something is definitely wrong with you, yes.”

Earth narrowed his eyes in utter confusion as the man circled him, looking him over and talking to himself, “Yes, you have a very empty head, you lack something. Or rather, you have a bit of something that most people do not. But what is it, I wonder? What’s wrong with you is not head trauma; if you were purely human you would more likely be dead than anything. What are you? You must be new, I’ve never seen anything like you before. But yet you’re not, I sense you’re very, very old, ancient in fact. Almost exactly as old as a Racnoss...but you certainly don’t look like a spider-person, nor do you have any sort of.. cloaking.”

“What in the everloving, flaming death pit of never ending torture known as the American Hell, are you even talking about?” Earth said, in a very precise manner.

“Oh, excuse me, my good man. What are you to be named?”

Earth looked at him and one of his eyes twitched. He sighed, “My name is Nicholas Sven. Perhaps you’ve heard of me.”

He stared at Earth for a long moment, blank faced. Then he turned away, raising a hand to his chin, “The name does strike a bell, but where? Er, who was it that referred to you? Alexander the Great? Winston Churchill? Augustus Caesar? The Romans?” He made a frustrated noise, not coming to a conclusion.

“Are you okay?” Earth asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Properly not,” he answered. “Forgive me, call me The, er, well you can call me John Smith.”

“John Smith?” Earth questioned, raising an eyebrow, “I get knocked out of the sky by a phone booth-”

“Police Box,” John corrected, indicating the words printed on the blue structure, “It’s right there, can you not read?”

“I get knocked out of the sky by a police box,” Earth said quickly, “Inhabited by a man named John Smith, which frankly no one is named, and.. wait, what the hell is a police box?”

“You’ve certainly got an American vocabulary,” John Smith commented. He looked back up to the sky, saying, “Now what were you doing up in the air anyway?”

“Oh, you know,” Earth said, with a sarcastic wave of the hand, “Hunting fowl. It’s the perfect time of year for it. I should really ask the same question to you, Mr. John Smith.”

John, who had been examining the area, turned back to him and said, “It’s Dr. Smith, if you don’t mind terribly.”

“Oh, so you’re a doctor now, are you?” Earth said, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

“And the best you’ll ever meet,” John added.

“A doctor in what?”


Earth exasperatedly sighed, “A doctor of all fields of doctorhood. Perfect.”

“Is something the matter, Nicholas?”

Earth shook his head, “It’s Nicholas Sven. Nick for short. Not Nicholas, not Nicky, not Cholas, just Nick. Or Nicholas Sven. Preferably not at the same time.”

John Smith looked at him, “And I thought I was particular about my name.”

Earth cracked his back, “Right, I almost forgot, I was getting my ass kicked by some rogue alien until this all happened. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go die, apparently.”

“Alien?” John Smith questioned, perking up.

“Yeah, the big, buff jockstrap up there,” Earth said, pointing Varmur out in the sky.

John Smith looked up, “Oh, so that explains why you were up there. For a second I thought you weren’t even human.”

There was an uncomfortable silence as the two of them stared at each other for a moment. Earth spoke slowly, “Right. Anyway, goodbye now.”

“Not quite,” said John, “I can’t let you do this alone. In fact I’m not letting you do this at all. I’ll take over from here.”

“You!?” Earth exclaimed, “Who the hell do you think you are?!”

“My, you just love that word, don’t you?”

“You’re avoiding the question!”

John Smith shrugged. He turned towards the toppled police box and then grunted, “Right, I forgot about that. My...police box is broken.”

“Well no shit, Sherlock,” Earth said, rubbing his tired eyes.

John Smith thought for a moment, and then ran back past Earth, into a building that led up to where Varmur was still floating. Varmur yelled down to Earth, saying, “Sven! Watch now as I make your world burn, just like you did to my entire galaxy!”

“I DID NO SUCH THING!!” screamed Earth as he flew up to Varmur, kicking him in the face. He tried punching him, but Varmur’s tail lashed out, wrapping around his wrist. He flung Earth down to the rooftop of the building John had run into.

As Earth collapsed, a door opened and John Smith ran out. He looked at him, saying, “Good, you’re here.”

“You know what, I hate you,” Earth groaned.

John stepped forward, drawing the flashlight-device, “Now let the professional do his work.”

Earth laughed heartily at this, and then stopped, coughing up blood. He moaned, “It hurts to laugh, you should stop making jokes.”

John Smith ignored this, stepping forward to face Varmur. Varmur had raised both arms above his head and was forming a gigantesque orb of energy above his head. John yelled out, “Stop, now!”

Varmur turned towards him and laughed, “You are hilarious.”

“Told you,” Earth called out, steadily getting to his feet.

Varmur shifted the ball of energy to one hand, saying, “What do you have to use against me? That puny screwdriver?”

“I think the Demizian definition of screwdriver is drastically different than the Earth one!” Earth yelled.

“Stop that, you’re making things worse!” John Smith shouted at him. He scanned Varmur as Earth mimicked him, annoyed. John frowned, “Curious. Never met a Demizian before, but I have heard of you. I thought you were wiped out.”

“We were,” Varmur said quietly, “I have come to extract my vengence.”

“On who, the humans?” John asked.

“No!” Varmur shouted, “Him! The Raging Inferno, Nicholas Sven!”

John Smith turned towards Earth, and then turned back to Varmur, “Surely you’re mistaken.” Behind him, Earth crossed his arms.

“He is the terror that befell our race, destroying my home and leaving me to wander the universe, searching for scraps.”

“For the last time, I have never even heard of the Demizians before today!” Earth shouted.

“Yes, you probably have him confused with some sort of Shape-Changer,” John Smith commented.

“Alright,” Earth said, turning to John, “Please, for the last time, shut the hell up. Second, it’s Shapeshifter, that’s their proper name. And finally, I probably do have the ability to wipe out an entire intelligent race at once, but I’ve only done it to two planets before, both within this solar system.”

“So that’s what happened to Pluto and Venus,” John Smith muttered.

“Enough of this,” Varmur yelled, growing impatient. He flew forward, knocking John Smith off of the building with his tail. Earth gasped in alarm as he fell, and Varmur again drew his knife, throwing it down to slice through John’s heart.

“He was doing nothing wrong!” Earth yelled, “Sure, he was damn annoying, but that’s no reason to kill him!”

“He was distracting and in my way,” Varmur said coldly, “Unlike my people, whom you slaughtered for no reason at all.”

“Alright,” Earth said, “Let’s pretend for a moment that I did kill all of the Demizians. Naturally I would need a motive for this. I seem like a sophisticated person, do I not? I wouldn’t just commit genocide for the he- I mean for fun.”

Varmur thought about this and then nodded slowly, “That is correct, I do not take you for a simpleton graced with powers unimaginable.”

Earth smiled, “Thank you. We might actually be getting somewhere. Now then, your race, are they all like you?”

“We did what we had to do to survive,” Varmur said, “Occasionally we would annihilate a race or two, but not without provocation. My brother on the other hand...never mind about him. But yes, we were a war-ridden people, never knowing peace for the sake of survival.”

Earth rubbed his chin, “I might have destroyed the Demizians simply to put them out of their misery, by the sounds of it. I weep for you, honestly. But I am merciful, and I would have done my best to help you, instead of simply killing you all. It’s quite unusual...”

“My own son was on our home planet at the time...” Varmur said somberly, “He bears the same name as you: Sven.”

Earth took this in and then looked at Varmur. “I remember now,” he said, “I remember your son, Sven. I took his name because I was his friend. He was killed by a high class Demizian, his name fails me, but in my rage I destroyed everything, I’m so sorry, but your son, he was such a great person, I remember, I could not bear it, I would have destroyed myself, if not for my memory loss, I don’t know how or why, but now I remember what I had forgotten, and I am sorry, I am so very sorry for what I have done.”

Varmur took off his helmet. A single tear ran down his face. “I believe your tale; I can see the truth etched upon your face. I forgive you. The life of one may not be equal to the many killed, but your death will not bring them back. Therefore I will end my attack on this planet, and return to the Third Hextant. I sorrow for you, Nicholas Sven. May we meet again, as allies...”

He rose silently, and then streaked off through the sky, never to be seen again by Earth. Nick walked to the edge of the building and watched him go. He sighed, bowing his head. He saw below him a pool of blood, and then remembered with a bang: “Oh, god, Smith!”

He leaped down, falling several stories and landing on his feet. He crouched down, and hesitantly rolled John Smith onto his back.

Surprisingly, the man was still alive. He spoke quietly, “Back away. You’re about to witness something amazing.”

Earth slapped him, saying, “You’re still talking nonsense, so you must be fine.”

“I’m serious,” John Smith said, “It’s starting...”

Earth noticed something peculiar. He knelt closer, pressing his ear to John Smith’s chest. He heard four beats in a rhythmic pattern, but two were weaker and slower than the others. He stood, backing away. “You have two hearts.”

John Smith nodded, and then was enveloped in a flash of bright golden light. His hair receded, going very short and turning black. His features changed, his entire body becoming a new person.

This new man grunted, and then jumped to his feet. He wobbled for a moment, saying in a Northern English accent; “New legs, and a new voice, I don’t know if I like the accent. Eh, I’ll get used to it. You know what I’m craving right now? I want to see the Kennedy assassination. I’ve never seen it before, I think that would be tragic, it certainly sounds exciting, doesn’t it?”

He turned to Earth, who was awestruck. He chuckled, “You know, with your experience I would think you’ve seen someone regenerate before, but apparently not. I need a mirror, what do I look like...” His hands reached up to his head, feeling his short hair. He frowned, “What hair color am I?”

“It- it’s sort of black.”

“Aw, drat,” he said, “You know I’ve never been ginger before? It’s really a shame. Oh well, maybe next time.”

With that, he turned, running. Earth, mouth agape, shouted after him, “Wait, who are you!?”

The strange man turned, and said, “I’m the Doctor.”

Earth stood motionless for a moment, and then screamed: “Doctor Who?!”

He burst after the Doctor, chasing him. He ran into the police box, which was now right-side up. As the doors shut, Earth crashed into them, bouncing back. He pounded on the door, and finally it opened. The Doctor poked his head out, saying, “By the way, thank you for taking care of Varmur for me. I couldn’t have done it any better myself. You were fantastic!”

Earth smiled for a moment, and then asked, “Who are you, really?”

“I told you already,” The Doctor said simply. “I’ll visit again sometime. See you in the future, or the past, whichever comes in the middle!”

The doors of the police box closed, and then it began to fade away, as if it had never been there in the first place. Earth shook his head, “I think I’m just going to go home, lie down, and forget this whole day ever happened.” He rubbed his forehead and walked on.


June 8th, 2004.

Zack sat at his desk, reading a few papers. He had sent Elementor to Earth as a spy, to find weakness in him. Uranus was standing outside his office as a guard. Suddenly the door opened.

Without looking up, Zack said, “I don’t want to be disturbed.”

A head was slammed onto Zack’s desk, and he jumped in alarm. It was the head of his vile nemesis, Nicholas Sven. He looked up and saw Varmur, wearing his helmet. Varmur grunted, “The head of Earth. He was of no difficulty to me.”

Zack swallowed, “You know what this means now, don’t you?”

“That you’ll try to kill me?” Varmur said with a slight chuckle.

Zack, pale-faced, nodded. He stood, and then unsheathed his sword, readying himself. He called out, “Uranus, can you come in here for a second?”


October 13th, 2013.

Zack and Uranus fought Varmur for over nine years, but to no avail. Varmur was far superior in every way, pummeling them at every opening, dodging a third of their attacks and sending another third right back at them. But Varmur would not kill them. And Zack would not give up, no matter what.

Uranus and Zack were sent hurtling into each other. Uranus blacked out as they crashed to the ground, but Zack still weakly held on. Varmur descended, placing one foot on his chest. “How typical. We’ve been at this for years and yet we always come to the same conclusion.”

“Then why don’t you just kill me?” Zack growled.

Varmur chuckled, “Because you have so much to live for.”

Zack suddenly went very still. The Demizians had no concept of morality, and barely could grasp mercy. He looked up and him, asking very slowly, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Varmur smiled, “You see, Zack, I’ve been stalling you as a favor. A favor to Earth.”

Zack’s thoughts raced, “”

“I don’t believe I ever said I killed him,” Varmur said. He snapped his fingers, and the head of Nicholas Sven rolled to his feet. It disintegrated into small gray particles and then reformed into a Shapeshifter.

He grinned, “My name is 9iron. I serve Lord Varmur of the DiVormaSordinance Chain.”

“No,” Zack screamed silently.

“Nick and I called off our fight,” Varmur said, “Neither of us proved any stronger than the other. So you can go to Earth and kill him yourself.” He leaned down and spoke directly to Zack’s face, “Except you can’t. Because I’ve figured out your true purpose. You want to prove that you are the most powerful in the entire universe. And now that you don’t know which of us - Earth or I - is more powerful, you’ll have to kill us both. And that is truly a frightening thought for you. You should have never called me to your planet all those years ago. Because even if you can kill me, then you’ll have the Raging Inferno to deal with.”

Zack’s face contorted into a look of pure hatred. He screamed, grabbing Varmur’s leg and launching him off his chest. He leaped to his feet and then flew away, to his reddish-orange Uranian spacecraft. Still screaming, he smashed his fist into the start button and his craft rocketed away into the starry sky.

Varmur cracked his knuckles, “Good luck to you, Nicholas Sven.”


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Goonjimbo blogged
Jan 26, 13 10:23am

Hello once again, and let us delve into the most recent controversy in the footballing world, involving an old regular in Chelsea F.C. and a new addition in the form of a certain ball boy.

Right, first things first, let us get the analysis of the incident itself out of the way.
Now, I think we can all agree that both parties are to blame. Charlie Morgan, as he infamously posted to his Twitter account before the game, came out to time-waste for the Swans. He takes a very long time to get to the ball and by the time he does, Hazard is upon him wanting to get the ball back. The pushing from Hazard doesn't help as it enables the youngster to fall onto the ball and shield it from the Belgian. What happens next however should NEVER be done on a football field if you would like to remain on the pitch. Swinging your boot in the direction of someone lying on the ground is a red card offence whether you touch the ball or not and the referee was absolutely correct to take the action that he did.

Hazard will now have to wait for further FA judgement to be handed out to him as although it's quite clear that his kick was not malicious, it was still dangerous and sends completely the wrong message on how to handle those sorts of situations. Stepping back and getting the referee involved would have been the more sensible course of action.

It is certainly ironic that this incident has happened with Chelsea and any Chelsea fan that is feeling outraged should first consider these two points:

1) Even if this incident had not occurred and absolutely no time had been wasted, Chelsea would STILL have lost the tie.

2) Chelsea would not have won the Champions League last season had they not based entire game plans around time-wasting and conning the referee. Time-wasting and cheating in general has benefited Chelsea a hundred times more than it has hindered them.

Now let us move on to the delightful young moron that is clamouring to get his 15 minutes of fame (and succeeding) and my main point that I would like to express to you in this blog.

Charlie Morgan

He certainly looks like the sort of lad that you wouldn't be particularly distressed to see introduced to a fist at a not particularly subtle rate of knots.

However, that aside, the image does look familiar doesn't it. That is because we now see this sort of picture in every football game we ever watch. We see our favourite players whether they be Luis Suarez, Santi Cazorla, Gareth Bale, Robin Van Persie or Cristiano Ronaldo flinging themselves to the ground every week under little or no contact and holding themselves in a similar way as though they have just been run over by a passing buffalo. Yet of course they are not too mortally wounded to not be able to look towards the referee to try and see if their ruse has worked. The body language in Charlie Morgan's case actually reminds me of Mr Orange as he lays in the back of a car after receiving a bullet to the gut.

We can all laugh and point at him and say "Haha look at him, he thinks he's a professional footballer!". Yet what worries me is that this sort of behaviour is now what we associate and expect with professional footballers. Why is Charlie Morgan acting like this? Simple. Because he sees the top professionals in the world doing it every week, thus making it perfectly acceptable to emulate for the young, naive and impressionable youth of today. Charlie Morgan is living proof of that.

Now we have had instances in the recent months where players like Suarez and Bale have been booked for simulation somewhat harshly. My opinion is as follows: excellent. Without trying to shove the moral of 'The Boy who Cried Wolf' down your throats too much, as it stands in these players minds, they have more to gain by going down than staying on their feet. That is what we need to change and it will take many more harsh decisions on many more players before the message is received and acted upon. It's a sad fact that it has resorted to two wrongs making a right, but it's important in tilting the odds back in favour of the defender. Players may have been wrongly accused of simulation, but you can bet that they have still benefited from simulation ten times more than they have been punished for it.

Whilst the top footballers are allowed to get away with diving, time-wasting, and general gamesmanship, the further warped the image of the game will become. Gone is the beautiful game that was played by men, now we have a low and underhanded farce that is played by little boys. And unless we can help referees to come down harder on the culprits, it will only get worse..

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