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Marooned Chic blogged
May 10, 13 11:03am

It's 2am, I need to sleep. Adam and I know, and he's fast asleep. I was so tired before but my scumbag eyes decided to stay open a little longer.

Haven't gone online on Neo for a bit. Haven't posted much. Haven't started a thread since, when, a year ago? I feel like a stranger tbh, like how I once felt waaaay back in 2009 when I was sort of a noob who didnt care about constructing a proper sentence so long as i put in what i want to say i wanted to have some sort of a home and a neoofamily like what every1 had before especially in the harvest moon forums when i thought getting neomarried was true love a sacntity between 2 ppl and i postes on the thred and askd ppl to help me wit taking care of my cows

I was a nursing student back then when I first received my first console, a battered white Gameboy Advance that once fell into a toilet bowl. My cousin got an XP and a DS and had no need for good 'ole GB that once swam along with someone else's shit...

My first game was Breathe of Fire 2. But what led me to become a neo-member was Harvest Moon: More Friends in Mineral Town. But after three months or so, I didn't care about posting about the game (especially since my *bleep*ing game *bleep*ing got corrupted just when I reached my *bleep*ing fifth year where I *bleep*ing dug out all the cursed tools and I *bleep*ing don't want to do it all over again! :RAGE:); I cared about finding a neo-husband who is a moderator and a seeketh maximus and building a neo-family with him with lots of adorable neo-babies. HOW SWEET!!

I didn't have a boyfriend and it sucks being around nursing boys who don't know how to speak or write proper English. They were like, "waats up yo mah mens?!!" I hated nursing too so I hated all my classmates' guts. In short, I have no friends; Just my mom, our dog, and my shitty (literally) GBA, [My two younger sisters didn't count as they were both living in a dormitory, in a land far, far away].

So, I spent my lunch breaks being online on Neo every single day, flirting with guys half the world away. I pretty much got into all sorts of relationships, except the full-fledged boob-flashing thingamajiggie. Until I got tired and moved on along with how I moved on to a new college, leaving away the nightmare of yesterday.

Once I got into Journalism, I got two awesome best friends who I am still best friends with even though we rarely see each other due to work demands. I didn't bother about online boys anymore; I matured and I also got an IRL crush :3 But then some online guy who is a moderator and more than a seeketh maximus started talking to me. And my, what a flirt!

We talked monthly, then weekly, then every three days, then every one point five days, then every single day until he got down into one knee to pick up the cookie I dropped. The cookie passed the five-second rule so I ate it.

Though still pessimistic about online relationships, we got together after a year of being *bleep*-buddies, I mean, good friends.

And I'm sleepy now, time to zzz. Sorry baby, I'll continue writing some other time! I love you, Adam :* :* :*

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Gryzor blogged
Feb 07, 13 12:27am

Taking aside Ninja Theory's increasing amount of arrogance (which boils down to "if you don't like this game, then you're a clinically depressed misanthropic jobless friendless unloved sack of shit, your mother's a whore and your dad has a herniate ballsack"), this really isn't a great game or even a good one for that matter. Perhaps I'm expecting too much, but nothing about this game even remotely lived up to Ninja Theory's claims. It takes Heavenly Sword's battle engine (swift weapon, medium weapon and slow, strong weapon), adds two different chains and tries to be all edgy and whatnot. Surprisingly though, the combat isn't half bad. When it gives you the opportunity to combine all three of your weapons to make a super combo of sorts, it's a ton of fun. When it arbitrarily limits you to a certain weapon (and at times, it really loves to do this), it feels like a homeless man's God Of War without the brutal finishers. Suffice it to say, combat is only really good when you get to mix it up. Sadly, it makes up for the mediocre enemies and lame bosses.

I'll admit that I wasn't a big fan of the new Dante because he seemed like he'd be a whiny little shit who tried to be edgier than new Dante. In fact, I thought he'd be worse than Nero from DMC 4. While that's how he was for a while, he does eventually become a bit more relateable as the story progresses as he's more down to earth than his overpowered old self. Mind you, he's never truly relateable as the writers try to make him all hardcore and edgy with the rock and dubstep music that looms in the background while Dante swears more than Revy from Black Lagoon. Throughout the game, I was conflicted - should I like him for being kind of relateable, or should I hate him for being a *bleep*ing dickhead? The story does about the same thing - it wants to be taken seriously, but with a grade school level of understanding of conspiracies like the media brainwashing the populace and how we should stop them or some *bleep*ing dog shit like that. It's also worth pointing out that Vergil Ties would hate to see what they've done to him in this game...

The platforming, which was Capcom's DMC's biggest weakness, is at least better here. Oh, and it's leagues ahead of Enslaved's, but that's because DmC wasn't trying to suck Uncharted's dick.

Summary - A good combat engined and good platforming marred by mediocre combat scenarios
Rating - 6/10

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Gryzor blogged
Feb 07, 13 12:01am

#16 - The Warriors

The idea of doing a licensed game is very common, but what about doing one based on a movie that's older than most Playstation 2/Xbox owners? It's a bit out of left field, but it's a risk that worked so *bleep*ing well, I not only played through this game, but also bought the movie and watched it to see how faithful it was. Yep, even when I was about 13, I gave a *bleep* about this kind of shit. You know what, this game was about as authentic as it gets. It was gritty and felt like you were in the streets with these warring street gangs back in the 1970s. You'll not only fight other street gangs, but you'll also be required to tag parts of town and steal shit in order to get money to stay alive.

Besides atmosphere, the part where The Warriors *bleep*s your shit up is in the combat. While it mostly feels like a traditional beat em up ala God Hand, The Warriors' combat has more weight to it. There aren't any over the top combos; they're what you'd expect from real life street gangs. But here's the thing - each hit feels satisfying. There's a lot of oomph in each hit you land and inevitably take, whether it's with your fists or a baseball bat.

If anything hurts this game, it's the *bleep*ing camera! Whether it's the bad fixed angles or unwieldy controls, it's bullshit how something like this can hurt a game.

Summary - A licensed game with plenty of authenticity, not to mention excellent gameplay
Rating - 9/10

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Gryzor blogged
Feb 05, 13 2:53am

Round 69 of the Articles Of Excellence unfortunately doesn't end with a hentai game review, although the bafflingly attractive Polarity was the one to snag the win, so deal with it. Anyway, his review of Sleeping Dogs was what netted him the win. He describes the game as one that nails the underground cop in a triad gang aesthetic with a portrayal of Hong Kong as a city that never sleeps with some very well executed hand to hand combat to boot.

Sleeping Dogs Score: 8/10
Genre: Sandbox

Sleeping Dogs is a game that knows exactly what it wants and gives you what it knows you want

quote Polarity
What was once the third instalment in the True Crime series, Sleeping Dogs is like a breath of fresh air in the sea of banality that is the summer of 2012's video gaming line up. Even when that's not considered, Sleeping Dogs is a game that knows exactly what it wants and gives you what it knows you want - a compelling storyline and a host of things to do when you want a break from said story. Perhaps it won't set your world alight as at a cursory glance, the only truly special things about it are the parkour elements and the story, but it's easy to get engrossed in this game and see it as it is, which is a pretty damn good game marred by some ill conceived elements here and there.

You play as Wei Shen, a police officer who is sent deep undercover into a Triad gang known as the Sun On Yee. His objective is to take them down from the inside, though to do so, he must earn the trust and loyalty of the triad gang, least of all his childhood friend and lackey of the Triad, Jackie; and its feared leader Winston Chu. Over the course of the game, Wei earns their loyalty and gets closer to achieving his true objective, but the police superintendent Thomas Pendrew fears that he is becoming one of them. Given the way that the story's told, it would appear that he is getting closer to the Sun On Yee for real, as opposed for the express purpose of infiltration. Throughout the game, Wei will be conflicted by his decisions - he is against committing crimes and he is a police officer, yet he must instigate street brawls and essentially *bleep* shit up in order to gain the trust of the Sun On Yee. It especially hits home whenever Wei and any of his fellow officers interact with one another, and then the last third of the main story drives it further home with its plot twist. In essence, it's easy to get sucked into the overarching narrative.
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Hmszelda blogged
Feb 26, 13 1:58pm

Tuesday, Tuesday, gotta post a blog on Tuesday!

Well, since I did a blog about my favorite game/forum, I'll make this one all about different forums. And Thursdays about games. :D

Forums I am new in:
It's still a small community, but this game really does look interesting.
We are all speculating away, so join us maybe? ;)

Basically the same as Dream Team...
But there is one difference...
This one has golf.

Forums I am "old" in:
The perfect combination of writing and roleplaying, this welcoming group is always looking for new members to duel with!

Like pokemon? Trading, battling, talking?
So do we! So come join a clan, we all like new guys, I swear!

Like writing? Like roleplaying? Like blogging? Like comicing?*
Want to let others see your work and get feedback? Everyone here loves to be entertained, by all skill levels!
*about pokemon

Forums I am a "middle man" in:
Whether it be a general question, wanting a read, or wanting someone to read your work, this is your place!
Writer's are welcome!

The LoL forum is for everything from discussion, to asking for matches/due partners, to bragging!
With a vast amount of things to do, it's hard to be bored there.

My special forum:
I know I made a whole post about it but, this is such a nice forum!
The mod doesn't even bite!
With the game fast approaching, it is your source for the news and speculation, and soon for Q&A and match making!
Stop by today!

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Gryzor blogged
Jun 04, 13 9:38am

Round 77 of the Articles Of Excellence ends with Hell Fire coming back to the winner's circle, this time with a review of Ni No Kuni. He describes the game as one where you'll fall in love with the world around you and the critters (or Familiars, if you will) that you can capture, although capturing them is a bit tricky and getting captured by the plot via the main three characters is about as hard. Nevertheless, there are some grand villains, an awesome sidekick with a Welsh accent and a bunch of NPCs with good enough dialogue to compel you to do the myriad of sidequests on offer.

Ni No Kuni Score: 8.7/10
Genre: Role Playing Game

Even with the few flaws, NNK stands to be one of the most enjoyable JRPGs of the decade and I can confidently recommend it anyone who enjoys a role-playing experience.

quote Hell Fire
Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch. To be honest, it’s not the most appealing name for a game. It sounds like something a five year old would watch after a stressful day of finger painting at kindergarten. Couple this with the cutesy looking characters and you would have something that I would certainly flick past at my local game store. Fortunately, I closely follow RPG releases and the amount of hype that this game got was unbelievable. I would put this down to the collaboration with the famous Studio Ghibli…. You know; the guys who made Princess Mononoki, Spirited away and all those other masterpieces? I can happily say that the quality of their films certainly carried over to this game. Ni No Kuni (NNK) has not spared any expense. It is a beautiful, huge game and one of the best JRPGs released this decade. All those things that we loved in the RPGs of the 90s are back, and this is what made NNK so enjoyable for me.

The story begins in the town of Motorville, where Oliver and his friend are busy working on a motorcar. Just like any teenager, Oliver decides to disobey his mother and sneak out at night in order to give the car a test run. Stupid idea, as this kid clearly can’t drive. Within seconds, the car crashes nose first in a lake. Fortunately, Oliver is saved by his mother…..buuuutttt she later dies as a result of saving her son. Oliver is a mess, and tries to shut himself off from the world. Then the magic happens! Upon crying over the unfortunate events, Olivers tears hit his favourite doll, Drippy, which results in it springing to life. Drippy soon introduces Oliver to a parallel world in which only can save from the evil wizard, Shadar. This plot is quite a simple one and cruises in third gear until the final third of the game when the plater is hit with a load twists and turns that are actually quite well written. The majority of the story is far from revolutionary and in my opinion, a little too childish at times, but it’s easily enough to drive this amazing game without creating a hint of boredom.
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Gryzor blogged
Dec 23, 12 8:35pm

#22 - Perfect Dark

What Doom 64, Turok and Goldeneye started, Perfect Dark tooled to near perfection. I mean, one must take the Nintendo 64's limits into consideration and admittedly, Halo and Halo 2 for the original Xbox did more justice by adding online multiplayer, but nevertheless, Perfect Dark takes Goldeneye and expands on it in a way that makes it kick more ass. It has a similar gameplay structure in that you have to complete objectives in semi linear levels, but there are some significant improvements. First off, the enemies aren't pants shittingly retarded; they can actually fight smartly by chasing you down, shooting you at the right places and just generally kick your ass. So if you ever thought Goldeneye was too easy, well, Perfect Dark is your mother*bleep*ing savior! Secondly, the levels are bigger and better, with more to explore and more level specific objectives to give them an identity outside of their songs. Finally, the multiplayer is even better if that could be believed. More bigger and complex maps await you, a ton of weapon packs to choose from and each character actually has specific properties outside of their looks, meaning that selection requires thought. The only thing holding this game back is that some of the later levels are pretty flat and uninspired, but most of the levels are so well done that the crappy ones just stand out more.

Summary - A boost that console first person shooters really needed.
Rating - 9/10

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Gryzor blogged
Dec 27, 12 8:29pm

#21 - Soul Calibur 2

While some would prefer Soul Calibur 1 for the Dreamcast, I thought the series was perfected with the second game - with a reasonably balanced mixture of fighters (okay, Link is cheap if you bait people to the edge and throw them off of it, but that's about it), a long lasting and fun arcade mode and plenty of shit to do with your mates, Soul Calibur 2 is pretty much one of the best fighting games ever made. The only thing missing here is fatalities. Come on, don't tell me Cervantes wouldn't cut Maxi's head off, or that Maxi wouldn't bludgeon Cervantes to death with his nun chucks, or that Nightmare wouldn't rip out your soul and show it to you before you die!

Okay, that aside, it all felt right. Each fighter had their own styles with their pros and cons to learn and master, and while some were easier to learn than others, getting them to work just feels so satisfying when you're able to kick some ass with them! Sure sure, some are clearly better than others - Astaroth benefits more from the guard impact (where you press a direction and guard at the same time just as you're about to get hit) than anybody else and... well, let's just say that this will be Link's most difficult quest to save Zelda as Nightmare could *bleep* him harder than Ganon ever could and Link isn't exactly easy to use nor satisfying to master (unless you use his cheap throw - you guys know what I'm talking about), but other than that, no, it's very, very well balanced. Some of the conditions during the Weapon Master mode are silly (hit them against walls? only use guard impact? is this a tutorial?), but for the most part, they actually add a fair amount of challenge that pisses you off just enough to make you want to beat it. Overall, it's one of the most enjoyable fighting games. Doesn't help that the fighting engine itself is balanced to be inviting to newbies whilst making things technical enough for all but the biggest elitist shitheels to keep coming back to.

Soul Calibur 1 is also a great game, no doubt about it. I simply prefer this because it feels more balanced and a lot more fun. Speaking of balance, the later games give balance the middle finger as although Soul Calibur 3 has even more single player content, god, the AI is atrociously unbalanced - weak as a kitten one minute and stronger than the *bleep*ing gods the next. Soul Calibur 4 took it up the ass even worse and that's not even mentioning the prison style anal *bleep* Soul Calibur 5 received... I mean, holy *bleep*, most of these new characters are unbalanced as *bleep*, especially when controlled by pros or the AI! Not to mention that the button inputs to execute combos KEEP *bleep*ING CHANGING! No Namco, I don't want to keep relearning how to use Cervantes's combos! It just keeps throwing me off my game! ARGH! If you stopped at Soul Calibur 2, congratulations, you had more foresight than I did *bleep*ing wasting my money with inferior products!

Summary - An excellent fighting game that's great for both single and multi players.
Rating - 9/10

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Gryzor blogged
Dec 31, 12 11:32pm

With 2012 behind us, it's time to take every video game from then (that I've played, anyway) and compile two lists that glorifies both the best and the worst that was on offer.
The Highs
Let's start positively with a bunch of games that gave 2012 the boost that it needed to keep you coming back.

Spec Ops: The Line
The idea of a video game might've always been interacting with a virtual environment, often with a story tacked on for good measure. Usually when I say a game's story is good, I mean it in the context of it being a video game story - these things are not substitutes for books or even movies and story driven TV shows. However, I'm happy to report that Spec Ops: The Line is one of the few video game stories that can stand alongside books. It has a highly engrossing story about the horrors of war and what everybody else has been glorifying. You may be shooting people, but who are you really shooting? Are you a freedom fighter or are you a bloodthirsty gun nut? Throughout the game, you'll be forced to make decisions to either press on and give the surviving citizens of Dubai two big fat middle fingers, or tell your squad mates to get *bleep*ed while you save some Dubaiins from trouble. Each decision is grey as there are positives and consequences no matter what you do. Due to details like this, the story ends up sucking you right in. The gameplay itself is serviceable, even good at times, but it's the story that helps it stand out. So if you're thinking of a story driven experience but you can't code gameplay worth a shit (eh Team Bondi), this game should be a decent enough starting point.

I Am Alive
The idea of being in a sort of post apocalyptic world is something that's somewhat done to death with the Fallout games and Darksiders. But I Am Alive takes that concept and bases not only the story and themes, but also the gameplay around it. It's not about shooting down zombies and mutants and shit; it's about surviving against the odds. Survivors may or may not be willing to let you live if you even register in their peripheral vision as anything that can move. You're not exactly a super soldier either - in fact, you have to use whatever tools you can find in order to find out what's going on. It's a highly engrossing game that keeps you on the edge of your seat, especially when you consider that while the platforming is mechanically like Uncharted (in which a lot of it is done for you), the addition of a stamina meter makes things more intense. If you can't play conservatively, you're going to die. That's how it rolls, people.

Hotline: Miami
It's easy to overthink about this game's intentions - about how it's about the glorification of video game violence and all that, especially with a level where you're not given bright neon colors nor the ability to fight. That level is meant to be crap because it's meant to show us our true nature when it comes to playing video games, and how *bleep*ing appropriate is this - you're rewarded points based on how you kill, including the variety of ways that you carry out the killing and the actual method. But look past that pretentious bullshit, and what you have is a fun, fun game about brutally *bleep*ing people up! It might have bright and colorful 2D visuals and it might have a top down perspective, but *bleep* me if it isn't bloody and brilliant... or just bloody brilliant. Perhaps it's the sadistic bastard inside me speaking, but this game is a lot of fun and I can see myself playing this repeatedly because I like to see cartoony heads roll...

Silent Hill: Downpour
Hey, it's my original pick for the game of the year! Fancy seeing you... no longer there! But really, Silent Hill: Downpour is a fantastic experience through and through. It, like the rest of the series, contains a lot of suspense not only with the pacing of its scares, but also the sound design. Daniel Licht may not be as awesome of a sound composer as Akira Yamaoka, but he still manages to compose something that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Also like the rest of the series, its story is one that keeps you compelled to go on as Murphy is a very likeable not to mention relateable character, going through situations that we only barely go through in our minds (fun fact: Silent Hill is basically a manifestation of one's inner demons) whilst trying to keep a level head and not go insane. Due to all of this, combat that can be seen as clunky (not Silent Hill 1-4 clunky but not as fluid as Homecoming's either) and Otherworld segments that can be seen as too trial and error heavy wind up being better seen as elements that are a result of Murphy trying to survive in a *bleep*ed up world. This is something I've always believed was lacking in survival horror games, particularly the eternally overrated Resident Evil series - the horror tends to be a result of arbitrary bullshit like tank controls and standing still while aiming. Not for Silent Hill. The horror there resides in the subconscious of the protagonist and his limitations... sorry, I'm just not over the fact that what essentially amounts to SWAT can't aim and run at the same time with *bleep*ing pistols while ordinary people like every Silent Hill protagonist can with smaller firearms...

The Walking Dead
Telltale Games, you magnificent bastards! While you guys don't always make hits (Hector: Badge Of Carnage was alright, and Jurassic Park: The Game was abysmal), *bleep*, when you do, you *bleep*ing do! Meet The Walking Dead, a set of five episodes based on the comic of the same name. The idea is to survive the zombie apocalypse and you'll do so by gathering supplies to keep the group of survivors alive whilst fending off the occasional zombie. Like Spec Ops: The Line, the story is most certainly the strongest point and at first, it helps you overlook some mediocre gameplay - the first two episodes feature basic gameplay that only really works in the context of itself. Thankfully, the later episodes up the ante and make things more exciting, even when they consist of pressing certain keys at the right time. But again, the story is what makes it work out so well in the first place! It's easy to get sucked into the whole thing as the writing is fantastic, as is the characterization of the survivors. To put it simply, you'll feel for their situation, you'll like their company while it lasts, and you'll be a little down in the dumps when somebody dies. It's one of those games you'll play over and over again to make different decisions, just to see where Telltale allows you to go with them - yeah, they subtle, but with characters like these and writing like this, it doesn't matter that much.

The Lows:
Unfortunately, this year had its share of shitty games, so let's just get this shit over and done with. Too bad it felt more like the aftermath of a meal at Crapdonalds.

Family Guy: Back To The Multiverse
Did anybody at Heavy Iron Studios actually watch this show? I understand that Family Guy isn't exactly the paragon of intelligent humor... or even relevant humor, but this goes WAY overboard! Anything and everything people bitch about in terms of Family Guy's humor, like its irrelevance to the plot, overrepetition or Seth MacFarlane's overly liberal agenda, is found here. These aren't even jokes, they're comments. Instead of making you laugh, they make you cringe. If that's not enough, the game is complete shit. The aiming is flimsy, enemies are batshit *bleep*ing insanely stupid, physics are floaty, the graphics are complete shit and overall, the shooting is just boring. It's like a shitty arena shooter if it was way too forgiving with its respawn points... if The Walking Dead can kick ass, so should Family Guy: Back To The Multiverse. Oh, and it's 2012 - we should know how to make good licensed games by now. No excuses, this game blows giant nutsack. The only reason it's not my #1 worst game of 2012 is because... believe me, you can do worse.

Lollipop Chainsaw
Recently, I replayed the game because it was coming up to the time to do one of these lists up and I thought "eh, it can't really be that bad, right"? Well, I'm so wrong that I'm more retarded than Peter Griffin - this game IS bad! Where the clunkiness of combat is ignorable in Silent Hill: Downpour (at least when put into context), it's actually pretty damn annoying in Lollipop Chainsaw because... well, aren't you meant to be pretty *bleep*ing kickass at *bleep*ing up zombies with a chainsaw? I know a chainsaw is heavy, but still! Oh, and the mini games feel more like an arbitrary means of falsely increasing difficulty, and don't get me started on the quick time event shitfest that is when you control Nick. WHY!? Oh, and the humor is complete shit too. There's wittily written jokes, and then there's "it's funny because they exist", and this game falls under the latter. So no, I don't regret trashing this game before because it's a terribly conceived game that can't even fall back on its style!

Medal Of Honor: Warfighter
I suppose I can understand why Medal Of Honor's reboot deserved a sequel - it was a realistic take on war instead of simply glorifying it like Call Of Duty does. Really, Medal Of Honor 2010 wasn't terrible because its story was pretty good... it was just a bore to actually play it because it honestly felt like a broke man's Call Of Duty. So here comes the sequel - Medal Of Honor: Warfighter (more like Borefighter, am I right xdd), and its story isn't anywhere near as good! Unlike Spec Ops: The Line, it's boring. The writing is mediocre, the storytelling is haphazard at best and it honestly does nothing to capture your attention at any point. Outside of a handful of sequences, it's an extremely unremarkable game with *bleep* all going for it - at least Medal Of Honor 2010 had a good story!

Blades Of Time
"Oh golly, we have a "sexy" half naked chick on our cover, we're gonna sell millions!" - I'm not sure whether I feel like pointing out its sales figures (frankly, I'd be embarrassed publicly acknowledging having ever owned this shameless piece of shit) or whether to just rip this game a new *bleep* because holy *bleep*ing shit, this game sucks! I've covered this before - it's a boring hack and slash game that doesn't ever make you feel like a badass, nor does it ever make you feel anything other than bored out of your skull. The time mechanic is poorly implemented and feels clunkier than the combat in Lollipop Chainsaw. Buy X-Blades instead.. if you want to, of course; it's not much better, but it's fun at least, and Blades Of Time isn't.

Resident Evil 6
The only Resident Evil game I like is the fourth one. I can appreciate the first game for what it did, but the rest can *bleep* right off for all I care. Resident Evil 6 is meant to be a push in the right direction as far as action horror goes as you can *gasp* move and shoot. Sadly, this game embodies far too many things that this generation does wrong - the third person shooting, although better than Back To The Multiverse's, is clunky with some sensitive aiming controls, the cover controls are ass backwards, and it does everything in its power to keep on taking play control away from you by either boring you to death with an irrelevant story (Resident Evil's always had a shit story, but this is just ridiculous) or by shoving a million quick time events down your throat. Look, quick time events work either when a game is designed around them or when used for a few sweet action sequences. Resident Evil 6 doesn't have anything resembling a direction in its design, instead favoring throwing shit on the wall to see if it sticks while sticking you in mostly ultra linear hallways, cramming non stop and eventually *bleep*ing boring action down your throat. Pacing - what's that? We're Capcom, we're so out of touch with reality that we can make money by slapping a famous logo onto a shitty game - which is what this game is. If it was a no name IP, it'd sell like shit and it wouldn't have such a whiny fanbase... I think that already happened. It's called Quantum Theory! This and Back To The Multiverse are strong, strong contenders for the worst game of the year, but you know you can do even worse, if that's possible.

The absolute worst game of 2012 is...
To think that a game that was released at the beginning of the year would still be a benchmark for utter atrociousness is weird. Like Lollipop Chainsaw, I recently replayed this game just so I can say to myself that there're worse games - this was the worst game of the first half of 2012 and, although the bar had been set lower with Back To The Multiverse and Resident Evil 6... this is still such a wretched game that I can't really put it anywhere else, maybe except in a furnace! I've said it once and I'll say it again - if this is the true survival horror experience, boy oh boy, I am *bleep*ing glad it's ceasing to be a relevant genre. It still feels like it hasn't been playtested due to the fact that I've had moments where I couldn't backtrack after dying... when I needed to, as well! The co-op elements are even more forced than those found in Resident Evil 5 and the stealth level... oh my *bleep*ing god, after the likes of Dishonored and Mark Of The Ninja, I think even less of this shitty level! All in all, it's a poorly designed game that seems to take the piss out of what went wrong with Japanese survival horror games... YEARS AFTER PEOPLE STOPPED *bleep*ING CARING AND MOVED ONTO AMERICAN HORROR GAMES!

The absolute best game of 2012 is...
Sleeping Dogs
Like The Walking Dead, Silent Hill: Downpour and especially Spec Ops: The Line, Sleeping Dogs's biggest strength is in the story. Whether it's the writing, the concept or the storytelling, it's all very strong, and its implementation into the game itself is even sweeter than Strawberry Shortcake. Simply put, you're an undercover officer working to destroy the triads, but you find yourself becoming more and more like one of them at the disdain of your fellow officers. It's not just a cover; it's you. The dilemmas faced here in tandem with the events that unfold help keep the game's story as intriguing as possible. That's not to mention the gameplay - move on over Batman and Spider Man, because Wei Shen will *bleep* you guys up with his killer martial arts right after *bleep*ing up rival gangs! Seriously, the hand to hand combat in this game, while a tad easy, is masterfully crafted to work really well and be a lot of fun to pull off, and with unlockable combos earned either through Triad experience points or by collecting and returning statues to a martial arts club, there'll be more at your disposal. There's not much else to say without rambling on for hours and hours than this - buy it. Seriously, this is a fantastic *bleep*ing game that deserves your hard earned money.

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen - 2012 is over. Overall, it was a pretty weak year. Yes, the best of the best drove the medium further towards storytelling that's backed up by great (or just workable in the case of Spec Ops: The Line and The Walking Dead, though the latter's case is one that can't be helped) gameplay, but the worst games embody quite a lot of things wrong with gaming today - whether they be frustrating mistakes or the embodiment of everything that can go wrong with modern gaming, one thing is for certain, and that's that you better keep a close eye on what you're going to buy. There are some honorable mentions in Mark Of The Ninja, Binary Domain, Transformers: Fall Of Cybertron and yes, even Call Of Duty: Black Ops 2. I wish developers all the best for their output in 2013, hopefully we'll see some more interesting games without going through so much mediocrity. I also wish you guys all the best for the new year and remember - keep a balance of gaming and real life responsibilities so you won't be a *bleep*ing jobless hermit!

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Polarity blogged
Jan 01, 13 8:34am

6. Dragon's Dogma
5. XCOM: Enemy Unknown
4. Far Cry 3
3. Sleeping Dogs
2. Silent Hill: Downpour
1. Mark Of The Ninja

2012 was a year full of underwhelming released, but the hits at least encompass what makes gaming still worth your time. Far Cry 3 is like that hand reaching into your still beating heart and showing it to you before putting it back in - it came out late, but it's a very good game. Perhaps the story isn't very good, but the sheer amount of things to do in that game - all of which are fun - is more than enough to keep you coming back. Same deal for Dragon's Dogma, which has a fantastic combat engine and even better bosses, but it's pretty mediocre in terms of story. XCOM: Enemy Unknown.. well, I've made it clear that I haven't played the old school games by even remotely praising this, but hey, I enjoyed this a lot so I'll want to play the old school games. Sleeping Dogs and Silent Hill: Downpour had great stories that not only keep your interest due to some deep themes (Sleeping Dogs is all about loyalty whereas Silent Hill: Downpour is more about a prisoner's journey for enlightenment and true freedom), but also give context to the gameplay, whether it relates to their structures or their "flaws".

My #1 may come as a big surprise when most people would either pick Dishonored, Far Cry 3, Journey or Hitman: Absolution (derogatory name pending as I have yet to play that game), but trust me when I say that Mark Of The Ninja, whilst not being as heavy handed as the likes of Sleeping Dogs, Silent Hill: Downpour or Spec Ops: The Line (the latter isn't on the list due to mediocre gameplay), is an intriguing tale that's backed up by excellent stealth gameplay (something Dishonored lacks, giving you plenty of tools and powers to compensate for its lackluster stealth gameplay) and fantastic level designs. Like Far Cry 3 and Dragon's Dogma, this was a lot of *bleep*ing fun to play through. Truth be told though, there are only two A's and three A-'s with Dragon's Dogma receiving a B+, which I feel sums up the year - underwhelming. Other years would have all six of my picks receiving A-'s at the very least and 2 A's and 4 A+'s at best (if you want me to do other years, just give me the word and I'll see what I can do).

Is this the beginning of the end? Maybe not - Anarchy Reigns, Ni No Kuni, South Park: The Stick Of Truth, Bioshock: Infinite and The Last Of Us are shaping up to be pretty sweet games, and it's only a matter of time before more good games come out. Mark Of The Ninja, my #1 pick, literally came out of nowhere - I just stumbled upon it on Steam. Far Cry 3, my #4 pick, came out pretty damn late in the year. The rest had hype, but only amongst smaller communities whilst games I found merely found good like Dishonored and Journey got jerked off like Ron Jeremy during a filming session. So there you have it, my picks for 2012. If you have any comments or queries or you want my opinion on other games released this year, please comment in the comment section down below, and I'll see you later.

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