: : : : : : : Tornado Tonion's Review

Parasite Eve review
Let's Paint the Town Gay!

The good:

Music. But you aren't here for that. Are you? If so, you're stupid. No "buts" about it. You're stupid. The story (which you shouldn't be worried about) started off quite interesting...until five hours into the game.

The bad:

Gameplay and controls.


What is it with Square and combining every genre with RPGs? Listen up, folks. Parasite Eve is a survival horror/RPG created by Squaresoft. Teh suck-o? Yes. The game has a bunch of problems that I've noticed. (I'm certain there's more since this game was made by Square.)
1.) I was fighting this really gay-looking dog boss and I got stuck inside the dog. I couldn't escape. I lost all my hit points because of that. GLITCH.
BOOM! Problem numbuh....
2.) A survival horror, fused with an RPG. Just no. Okay? Just no. A game cannot be spooky if it's an RPG. In a survival horror game, you're supposed to have the feeling of being helpless. Examples: Silent Hill3 and Resident Evil1 Remake for Gamecube. In Parasite Eve, you can simply level up. Overpowering your opponents, and making yourself feel like a god.
3.) I suppose Square thought giving the enemies' in Parasite Eve hilariously stupid AI would immensely add to the spookiness. Boy, howdy, I tell you. That dumpshit of an AI sure made me squat in m'britches. I've often encountered in many battles when standing next to an enemy, I'll find myself shooting the enemy repeatedly and the enemies don't seem to be interested in facing their attacker and rather let me win.
4.) Most battles are taken place in narrow areas making it difficult to dodge the enemies' attacks.
5.) Aya's disturbingly slow running speed also makes it difficult to dodge enemies' attacks.

So, to sum about basically everything you've just read...
This game is a turd.

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