Electronic Arts has really stirred up quite a bit of discussion these past weeks by implementing DRM for their highly popular PC game Spore.  Would-be players found many different ways of protesting, from flooding the product page on Amazon to creating anti-DRM creatures in the game itself.

I cannot claim to be an avid PC gamer with my Dell Inspiron 9300, which I reserve for games that I feel are truly better suited for PC than my Xbox 360.  It runs Team Fortress 2 and World of Warcraft well enough, though I'll frequently get startled exclamations and comical overreactions from fellow gamers or PC fanatics who find out what I'm using and see it as their duty to inform me that my integrated video card sucks like hell or that laptops are just terrible gaming machines in general.  So noted. 

Writing for Neoseeker has opened my interests and eyes to the gaming industry, and though I'm still fairly PC illiterate, a basic understanding of computers (of the gaming variety) comes with the job description.  But I digress.  Let's get back to the matter at hand.

No matter what my feelings toward DRM are, EA's decision to use it is understandable.  Video game companies are not alone in their use of such copyright protection tools, as most of us are aware.  The movie and music industries both struggle with issues of license and distribution, trying to cover their own assets without turning away too many potential consumers.  Well, you don't see too many executives and pop stars sleeping in the streets, so I think it's safe to say they're not really hurting for money.  Still, FBI warnings are now fairly common place on album covers, and downloading from providers like iTunes or DirectSong will come with their own brand of restrictions.

Spore has been receiving the most attention as of late because of its DRM, and we forget that games like Bioshock and Crysis: Warhead (another gem from EA) also reacquainted gamers with SecuROM.  Hell, Crysis introduced SecuROM to Steam -- felt a bit like forcing an iguana to adapt in Antarctica.

A disgruntled user base can still cause some trouble for the company in question, as seen in Spore's case when the game broke video game piracy records.  So what's a big ol' multibillion dollar corporation to do when faced with such a crisis?  Here's a few ideas that I feel would really get the job done better than any currently available options.

1.  Puppies provide great icebreakers.  Guys often bring their dogs out on walk to attract women, and they're the oldest trick in the book for pedophiles.  If they work for clever bachelors and creepy convicts, they will certainly work for game companies.  Because everyone loves puppies, companies like EA may not even need to implement DRM at all in order to prevent piracy.  A puppy bundle made available with their games should dissuade users from piracy.  Note that the canine included must be alive.

2.  Money is another great motivater, being the major reason most people turn to illegal acquisition -- it's free.  Perhaps a lump of cash distributed with every copy of the game will tap into the good will that every game must hold in their hearts.  I recommend a four to five digit sum; at least, that's how much it'd take to completely turn me away from any thought of illegal download.  Sure, the company will lose money on each game they sell, but think of how much they won't lose to piracy!

3.  Asking nicely-... wait, that won't work.  Okay, skip to the next one.

4.  Physical violence is employed everyday for various money transactions.  Of course, this would only be effective if there were a way to track every single person who purchased the said game.  Once the company figures that out, they can include a disclaimer with each copy warning the buyer of certain consequences that may befall them should they choose to unlawfully copy and distribute.  Retribution might come in the form of a baseball bat to the knees, a swift kick to the face, or Batman.

5.  Fanboys.  If you violate copyright laws, they're going to sick a pack of fanboys on you -- one from each category of relentless, mind-numbing fanboyism.

DRM is still a viable option, of course.