The worst console launch titles ever

We all know launch time is a terrible time for a system. Developers are just getting used to the hardware, budgets are generally most limited around this time, and well, it's all a big risk -- who's to say the console will do well? As a result, it's not unexpected to walk away with one killer app, if that. 1UP examined the console launches for all the big systems, asking which were the worst games for each. I've highlighted a few of the comments below.

Nintendo Entertainment System: Donkey Kong Jr. Math

Game Boy: Super Mario Land

"The random Egyptian theme and the cheap, floaty controls made this entry in the Mario series feel more like a Chinese pirate version or a ROM hack of the original Super Mario Bros. [It] feels like you're playing it in some surreal nightmare where you're more concerned about your couch coming to life and eating you than you are with those turtles that explode when jumped on."

Now, this I see differently. Yes, all of these things are basically true, but that's why it was so great, much like Majora's Mask, I suppose. Super Mario Land is sort of like the Mario equivalent of Bart's Nightmare, and ain't nothin' wrong with that.

Super Nintendo Entertainment System -- Gradius III

Nintendo 64 -- Cruis'n USA

"Not only was Cruis'n a port of a two year-old arcade game, it was a lousy port. Running down cows, perhaps the only enjoyment you could take from Cruis'n USA, was removed so people would not be offended by the explosion of livestock into cartoony chunks of meat."

Game Boy Advance -- Super Mario Advance

"..when every move in Mario Advance elicits some inane catchprase, the little Italian stereotype loses all of his charm. And fans of Toad must have been very upset to hear the little bugger punctuate each of his actions with a kidney-stone-passing scream. For Toad's sake, we hope Dr. Mario is a urologist."

Nintendo GameCube -- Wave Race: Blue Storm

"A sequel to the excellent Wave Race 64, Blue Storm dropped the breezy charm of its predecessor in exchange for overly touchy controls and a total reversal of the laid-back fun of its N64 father. The passing of the franchise to American-based NST is what spelled doom for the franchise, as they've made a habit out of sucking the life out of various Nintendo franchises like hungry vampires."

Nintendo DS -- Feel the Magic: XY/XX

"How can a game where the Blue Man Group helps you score a chick possibly be bad? [The] game premises include everything from vomiting up goldfish to shooting scorpions off the back of your girlfriend. But all points for originality are immediately deducted on account of just how frustrating and overly touchy (pun partially intended) Feel the Magic is..."

Nintendo Wii -- A Boatload of Crappy Licensed Kids' Games (no explanation needed)

Sega Genesis -- Altered Beast

"..spend more than five minutes with Altered Beast in any modern context and you'll find it's too embarrassing to go on -- with the game or your life, depending on your mood at the moment."

Jeez. Altered Beast in my opinion always will be a classic. Somehow the graphics still hold up today in their own right, the music is creepy, the game is tough, you can transform into a frickin' bear and shoot stuff at ants and whatever else, and the cut scenes are downright nightmare-inducing (especially if you're a child). What more could you ask for? This game had such a particular and haunting atmosphere, and I've never seen anything like it since.

Sega Saturn -- Clockwork Knight

Sega Dreamcast -- Mortal Kombat Gold

Sony PlayStation -- Street Fighter: The Movie

Sony PlayStation 2 -- The Troubled RPG Trio (Evergrace, Eternal Ring, and Summoner)

"People who claim to have played all three cannot give accounts of specific games; instead, their memories are a haze of swords, experience points, and large, empty landscapes."

Sony PSP -- Ape Escape Academy

Sony PlayStation 3 -- Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire

Microsoft Xbox --  Mad Dash Racing

Microsoft Xbox 360 --  Kameo: Elements of Power

I don't agree with half this stuff; honestly a lot of it feels like the writer is just being harsh for the sake of being harsh, making stuff up as he goes. And this isn't meant out of disrespect, it's just like, how can you trash Altered Beast, Super Mario Land, Wave Race, and Kameo in one feature? All of these games are renowned (more or less) in the gaming community. Gah! But you know, to each his own.