A phone is just a phone, right? Wrong! At Nokia, staff are forbidden from calling their phones phones. This grammatical insistence of course begs the question 'What do you call them instead?'.

Well, the product Nokia sells are now officially referred to as "multimedia computers". Now honestly, I have never regarded my Nokia cell phone as a multimedia computer. For one, my Nokia has no MP3 player, only four games I never play, and a very frustrating control pad.

The term "multimedia computers" is inspirational at best. What Nokia aims to do is replace everyones desktop computer with a, sorry, phone. Nokia hopes to have people using their phones, sorry, multimedia computers, as the one method that everyone uses to access the Internet and everything digital. Buying soda from vending machines? I have a pocket full of change to do that. Making a purchase at a store? That's what my ATM card is for. Changing channels on my television? My TV came with a remote. Playing a song on my stereo? That's what my other remote is for.

This is just another example of forced cooperate pseudo politically correct language permeating our society. The person who sells you a car isn't a sales person, but a product advisor. The individual who pawns items at some retail store is deemed a sales associate. The customers at some sixty second fast food outlet are no longer customers, but guests.

One label I wouldn't mind though, those pertaining to computer technicians. 'Computer Geek' is affectionate and has become somewhat endearing. 'IT' personnel sounds far too cold. Perhaps 'Savior' would be more apt.