Valve, stop, there's just too much Team Fortress 2 content to cover anymore. I can't even wrap my head around all of the hats, maps, crafting, co-op and other ridiculousness that's coming down the pipeline. Yet Valve won't stop. They'll keep putting out huge patches like the newly announced Two Cities update, the first half of which has now been detailed. Introducing Mannhattan. Damnit Valve.
I can't event start describing all of the content included in the Mannhattan portion of the Two Cities update, so let's just jump straight to the bullet points:
- Mannhattan Mann vs. Machine Co-Op Map - "The first of our Two Cities, Mannhattan, takes our mercs all the way from the sun-blasted gravel pits of the Badlands to the urban sprawl of the East Coast, where they'll have to defend the manufacturing arm of Saxton Hale's boutique Mhankö line. Mannhattan's robot hordes can advance their own spawn points and introduce new bombs into the map for the first time, making for a unique new MvM experience."
- Weapon and Character Effects - "The loot you'll get from completing a Tour of Duty will work a bit differently for the Two Cities Tour. Completing a Two Cities Tour automatically grants you a Killstreak Kit, which you can apply to any weapon to transform it into a Killstreak weapon. Completing the Tour also grants you a fabricator and spare parts that you can use to craft progressively rarer Killstreak Kits, which will add cool visual effects to your weapon and eventually even your character."
- Snakewater Control Point Map - "What is Snakewater? Well, it's an action-packed control point map. It was created by community author Toivo Sawen. It's been battle-tested in competitive matches around the world. And it's now an official part of TF2. But one thing it is not is a city, because this is the Two Cities Update and we're announcing a second city tomorrow. So for the record, Snakewater is more of a mill town than a city. To summarize: Action-packed. Toivo Sawen. Official part. Not a city."
- More Statistics and Performance Numbers Than Ever Before - "Healing. Tank damage. Money earned. With the Two Cities Update, you'll now have access to more raw performance numbers than ever before."
- Mann vs. Machine Refund Feature - "All money your team collects on the battlefield now counts toward unlocking a full Refund. Whether you're succeeding at each wave or not, once per mission you'll earn enough that the entire team can Refund all money spent on Upgrades (not consumables). Cash in hand, you can switch classes to try different strategies, or optimize Upgrades on your current class. Victory is Guaranteed!"
- 9 New Achievements
Are you serious? That's just the first half of the Two Cities update? I don't even want to know what's coming next.
Valve's greatest success story, however, has to be the fact that this half of the update is a pun including both Mann, referring to the Mann Corp. or Mann vs. Machine, and hats all in one title. Manhattan. They'll never achieve anythintg greater. They should just give up now. I wonder if they made up this whole Two Cities thing just so they could use that pun.
Team Fortress 2 is free-to-play and available to download right now on PC. The Mann vs. Machine stuff is, well, kind of not all free-to-play, but it's much more complicated than I can sum up in a single paragraph. Needless to say, there should be some content for everyone in Two Cities. Stay tuned for details on the second half of the patch soon.