Disclaimer: The opinions and viewpoints expressed by the various authors (including me) do not necessarily reflect the opinions and viewpoints of Neoseeker.
League of Legends has certainly taken off since 2009. Heck, NBC has even called it the "most popular hardcore game in the world."
Okay, so we're not entirely sure if that title is completely accurate, but there is absolutely no doubt that League is kind of a big deal. So to celebrate League of Legends and commemorate its latest
lore clusterjam "Enter the Freljord" patch, we figured why not compile a list of the game's top manly men? A few of them, anyway. Just taking some time to shine the spotlight on the dudes, rather than the busty ladies of League.
So here they are: the top ten bros of League of Legends.
1. Tryndamere: His right arm's a lot stronger than his left.
This guy is probably one of the most iconic champs out there, despite having a pretty mediocre backstory. He was married to Ashe, once, before the lore got its Freljordian makeover. Now we're not so sure, but hey, at least we can be sure he's marriage material. That's has to say something, especially considering the whole "wrathful barbarian" thing he's got going on.
Granted, he couldn't keep his clan alive, but let's not hold that against him. Heck, he didn't let that get him down. Instead, Tryndamere took all that anger and did something with it. Now, he kicks Death in the face on a regular basis. When his HP hits zero, do you think Tryn just lays down and accepts death? NO. HE SPINS FOR GREAT VICTORY. (And then he might actually die prematurely.)
Did I mention his biceps are the size of satellites?
2. Garen: DEMACIAAAA!
Garen is right up there with Tryn when it comes to being an iconic League bro. He's one of the first, after all, and represents Demacia. DEMACIA.
The guy loves a good fight, but he's not a total brute about it. Some of us are fairly convinced he's only
running spinning head-first into battle to seek out a mate. Maybe that special someone will be Katarina, but that relationship doesn't have much long-term potential, if you ask me. The man's first love is JUSTICE, after all. Kat would just be the third wheel in their relationship. You can't hold that against him, though, because only justice would be a suitable match for a man like Garen.
And if Tryndamere's biceps are satellites, then Garen's shoulders are like freaking planets.
3. Draven: Because this is the "League of DRAVEN."
Draven is so much man he could very well be this entire list, but I wanted to be fair to everyone else. Draven is fame; Draven is glory. Hail to Draven.
Some men were born for greatness. Draven was born to be Draven. For most of his life, he strived to find the perfect setting where his talents and glamor could be appreciated. When the Noxian military fell short of his expectations (some people just don't understand quality), this studly fellow decided to go into the business of executions instead. Hey, that's the sort of attitude that lands you on lists like these. Sorry, Darius, you just don't measure up to your brother.
Throw in that amazing mustache, and you've got the perfect recipe for MAN. Okay, ladies, I know he's not your standard definition of beauty, but if you give him a chance and stare at that face a little longer, it'll eventually grow on you. Really.
4. Swain: He's got his swagger stick.
Swain is where this list takes a different turn. He's not made of muscle, doesn't have biceps the size of planet Earth, but he's got the smarts to make up for all of that. Well, smarts and scary-ass bird form. And really, he deserves credit for hobbling around on the battlefield with his walking stick and a bird on his shoulder, pretending to be the most understated dude in the Fields of Justice.
Apparently, he's a pretty good actor too, seeing as how he was able to fool the entire world into thinking he was crippled for the longest time. So he was pretending, but you know what, so does Bruce Wayne. That guy goes out of his way to play the part of coward whenever crime hits him in the face, so no one would ever suspect him of being THE BATMAN. Seems to me Swain's got the same idea. Only instead of fighting crime, he uses his wits to lead Noxus to a brighter future, mainly by pillaging other nations into submission.
He's also apparently quite good with flying animals, as they obviously defer to him because he's so manly. Yeah, that sounds about right.
5. Pantheon: Jump on all the things.
Pantheon doesn't need no pants, and he gives no f*cks. You know that ring that appears around you as you're running away or engaged in a heated team fight? That's MANTHEON, coming in to save the day and kick some ass.
Aside from, you know, pants, Mantheon needs little more than his trusty relic-weapons and his undying thirst for battle. What does a hardened Rakkor warrior need feelings for anyway? He doesn't. TO HELL WITH ALL YOUR DAMAGES. This is a guy who was bred to fight, and I've little doubt his legs are actually made of steel, which would certainly explain why his armor just kind of stops near his thighs. That, or he's making sure all of you Summoners get a real eyeful. A nice, long eyeful of Mantheon.
6. Jayce: For SCIENCE!
I'll admit that Jayce has a pretty terrible backstory. Actually, it's probably one of the worst ones I can remember, but that doesn't exclude him from a list like this, because frankly, uninspired writing doesn't make him any less of a man. At least, I hope not.
He's right up there with Swain when it comes to intellect, but clearly, this guy's less keen on battle tactics than he is on inventing a bitchin' weapon -- the Mercury Hammer, to be exact. Unlike other academic fellows on the League roster, however, Jayce also does a fair job of keeping up dat physique. Look at him. He's got the same body shape as Garen, for heaven's sake. Must be how he manages to swing a hammer of that size.
Jayce isn't without courage, either. When Piltover refused to move against Zaun over Viktor's actions, Jayce made his own damn weapon, took it over to Zaun, and showed Viktor what-for. Right, he soloed the guy. Good going, you stud, you.
7. Mundo: MUNDO WILL GO WHERE HE PLEASES.
Is this guy even human? Yeah, I'm not really sure either, but there's no way I could let this list go by without mentioning him. He's male, at the very least.
Mundo doesn't let anyone tell him what to do, where to go, what to eat, or how to dress. MUNDO WILL WEAR WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANTS, dammit. And he'll kill whoever he damn well wants to kill. Where that
bloody cleaver giant briefcase will go, nobody knows.
His "give no f*cks" attitude has won him a place in the hearts of so many Summoners. Even if you can't play this guy, he's great to watch, stumbling around the Field of Justice in his suit and tie. We're also fairly certain he's the real brains behind the League of Legends. Look at him. Look at that cellphone.
Mundo is large and in charge, AND MUNDO HAS MEETING IN FIVE SO QUIT WASTING MUNDO'S TIME.
8. Lee Sin: He'll find you, with or without eyes.
"Hey, did anyone notice there's a blind dude running around? That's right, he just went into the bushes a minute ag-" And now you're dead.
Pantheon may not wear pants, but Lee Sin doesn't need a shirt. He also doesn't need eyesight to kill someone.
The man might not have intended to go blind when he initially set himself on fire in an act of protest; but after however long it took Southern Ionia to break free from Noxus occupation, his eyes eventually went. That the rest of him didn't end up going up in flames or submit to exhaustion is testament to his superiority as a male speciment within League of Legends. That's commitment to your cause, people. It really is.
We're not too sure why he likes running around the Field of Justice in nothing more than pants (and sometimes just shorts), but then again, he's Lee Sin. He doesn't give much of a damn, and as the saying goes: if you've got it, flaunt it.
9. Graves: He's got a gun.
Life dealt Malcolm Graves a bad hand, and he paid a hefty price for his poor luck and poorer choices. But hey, a tough life builds character, and that's something Graves doesn't lack in.
By "character," I'm also referring to facial hair. Graves has one of the more impressive beards in League of Legends, and I'm not just talking about size. Nope, that thing actually looks well-maintained, which speaks volumes over a shaggy "I haven't bathed in weeks" kind of beard. Though if size is more your thing, he's also got a giant gun.
His weird obsession with Twisted Fate (killing him, to be exact) is a quirk that makes me a tad wary, but no one on this list is entirely right in the head, anyway.
10. Brand: This dude is on fire.
As with Mundo, Brand probably isn't human. Not anymore, anyway. He used to be a pirate by the name of Kegan Rodhe, but Rodhe fell to the siren song of untold power, and that temptation led him to Brand, who took Rodhe's physical body from him so that he might once again walk Runeterra.
This guy is serious business, considering he used to be known as the "Burning Vengeance." Also, he's completely on fire (Take that, Lee Sin.) and seems totally okay with it.
While I'm fairly sure his intentions are MANevolent, I won't deny that he's got a certain charm about him. You know, that MANiacal laughter, the fireballs bursting from his hands. He's got the touch. Heck, he doesn't even need hair, 'cause he's already so damn hot.
He'd destroy the world by fire as soon as the opportunity comes up, but sometimes, you just have to take the bad with the good.
Unfortunately, ten is a pretty tiny number when you look at how many champions League of Legends currently supports. Cutting their manliness down to just ten was a tough undertaking, full of hard decisions and sacrifices. Blood, sweat, and tears were shed as pages of League lore were explored.
At the very least, there are a few fellows who didn't make the top ten list, but are still worthy of mentions.
1. Taric: Truly gemrageous.
2. Varus: Demon arm. What's not to love?
3. Draven: Because nobody doesn't love Draven.
Follow Lydia on Twitter @RabidChinaGirl or check out her news and reviews every day here on Neoseeker.