Here it is, folks, the annual Video Game Awards on Spike TV. Keep up with our updates on major announcements from some of the industry's biggest names, including Epic's new franchise and other reveals by Hideo Kojima, BioWare, THQ, and more. New games will be in bold text, just to make your lives easier.
5:10 PM - Naughty Dog debuts a trailer for The Last of Us, a new post-apocalyptic survival game of sorts. Appears to have something to do with a bio outbreak, just not zombies. We see red-skinned monster people assaulting a young girl and middle-aged man.
5:17 PM - Arkham City wins Best Action Game and was previously named Best Xbox 360 Game.
5:25 PM - Has anyone noticed that Seth Green is never laughing when the camera falls on him? Glad we're not alone in that.
5:26 PM - Mass Effect 3 named the Most Anticipated Game. A new gameplay trailer features Shepard on what is mostly likely Tuchanka, teaming up with Garrus and (possibly) Wrex. A thresher maw wrestles an attacking Reaper in the partial cinematic.
5:30 PM - BioWare's new game gets a teaser. That's right, it's Command & Conquer Generals 2, like so many of you have already predicted! Time to be super excited or not at all. Which are you?
5:38 PM - A Jonas Brother member announces the new Rainbow Six trailer. Yeah, a Jonas Brother.
Spike reminds us that Rainbow Six Patriots is about terrorists. The new teaser says as much... with explosions. Here's some actual gameplay details.
5:50 PM - Alan Wake is back in a new game, Alan Wake's American Nightmare for Xbox LIVE. A mysterious Mr. Scratch is trying to take over our world with nightmarish creatures. How do you stop him? With a gun and a flashlight, of course!
5:53 PM - Hey, Miyamoto's on stage! Awesome. He looks a tad confused by the monkey trophy in his hands, but he sounds so happy for the recognition. The Legend of Zelda has officially been inducted into the VGA Hall of Fame.
6:00 PM - Looks like Wheatley joins Nathan Drake and Joker as Character of the Year nominees. More to come, no doubt. They're also showing Game of the Year nominees in between announcements and such, in typical VGA style. Skyrim, Arkham City, Uncharted 3, Portal 2, and Skyward Sword -- any predictions?
6:03 PM - Spidey is going home for The Amazing Spider-Man. New teaser shows Spider-Man battling giant Reaper-esque robots in New York City. If you love Spider-Man, you're probably super excited for this.
Uncharted 3 already won Best PS3 Game and Best Graphics, in case you guys missed that. And yeah, Spike doesn't actually show all the categories and winners during their show, if you were confused; everything is crammed into a montage for several seconds. They need to reserve time for their skits, dammit.
6:20 PM - We apologize for the long minutes of inactivity, but we are incredibly confused about what we're seeing right now. It's not so much about video games as it is about Spike TV.
6:21 PM - Here we go, Transformers: Fall of Cybertron teaser debuts, featuring Optimus Prime holding a wounded Bumblebee while the war rages on around them. Grimlock appears at the end, breathing fire.
Forza Motorsport 4 picked up Best Driving Game award. We'll know who wins Best Shooter in a few minutes.
6:32 PM - Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 wins Best Shooter of 2011, beating Gears of War 3, Battlefield 3, and RAGE.
6:34 PM - CliffyB is on stage now, ready to announce the new Epic franchise. It's definitely something different, and we're excited; kinda cartoony, yet kind of scary. Prepare for Fortnite! Visual style isn't unlike the '90s illustrative art we see in Team Fortress 2.
Diablo III and BioShock Infinite premieres coming in a bit.
6:43 PM - There's a Gamer God award? And Blizzard just won it? We're confused too, but there you have it. Diablo III opening cinematic debuts. Yeah, "powers of hell" is pretty accurate... Oh God, did they just kill Deckard Cain with a giant fireball? Yes, I think they did.
6:50 PM - A new BioShock Infinite trailer just came on, showing more footage from the game, though nothing solid in terms of gameplay -- nothing we haven't already seen, anyway. Still very pretty.
6:57 PM - Joker (Mark Hamill) wins the Character of the Year award. Not bad. All nominees were worthy contendors.
6:59 PM - Okay, Game of the Year 2011 goes to Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Is anyone surprised? Of course not.
7:00 PM - Poor Hideo. He's trying to reveal the Metal Gear Rising "secret" in English. New gameplay footage resembles Devil May Cry. Why? Because it's developed by Platinum Games. Oh, and produced by Kojima Productions.
And so another VGA comes to a close. Why they still refer to this as an "awards show" is a mystery to us all.