| May 20th, 2001 |
| December 22nd, 2002 1:55AM |
Member Stats
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Friends List |
| last 20 friends to log in: |
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| Real Name: | chris houghton |
| Email: | private |
| ICQ: | ---
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| MSN: | ---
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| Yahoo: | ---
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| AIM Handle: | ---
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| Location: | 2 |
| Occupation: | God and general overlord of fish |
| Age: | 22 |
| Gender: | Male |
| Homepage: | Wierd thingies |
| Platforms Owned |
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| Interests: |
ruling my unholy legions of fish to rule/save the world i have not decided yet
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| Biography: |
Thanx to eskaia for this wierd 'idea' thing
Rules Of Life(Or My Life):
1)Toast rules...i dont care what you think...sandwiches SUCK
2)the fish god IS Real...ask anyone from the isle of wight
3)The fish god will one day come back for believers
4)I KNOW MY SITES DONT MAKE SENSE...I DONT CARE
5)1 piece of toast a day keeps the atourney away!
6)my dads drunken ramblings make more sense than me
7)Never shout abuse at people abroad...they chase you into an aquapark where you will have a snickers thrown at you
8)BBQ SAUCE IS BETTER THAN TOMATO SAUCE!!!
9)screaming is an art
10)i am not a spy for the russians (hehe they are falling for it)
11)my friends name is VLAAD not valand or vlad or "that guy who wants a bullet-proof neuro surgeon for christmas"...OKAY!?
12)i may like cats...but even i know they are truly eeeeeevil
13)Cake is good!
I am not a donut face!
stop changing your MSN NAME ESKAIA J/K
14)bill gates shall, when angered transform into orochi gates...dont ask!
15)neoweekly IS good so what if they are stick figures...i have the worst GIF program ever
16)so what if i run around shouting I EAT SOCKS in japaneese...it dont hurt you does it?
17)ONLY A SELECT FEW PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ME!
eskaia
vlaad
drunk people
and all people who like the word qwertyuiop
...and toast
18)tequilla improves religion!
19)the worm in tequilla is actually my brother
20)theres a little child inside me...the doctors say if they remove it i will die j/k
21)Vlaads mom was possessed by the cookies and lemonade demon...DONT GO INTO HIS HOUSE!
22)Construction of #22
Makiro says:
trying to think of things that i did...
°¤°¤Eat Cake, It Be Goooood!¤°¤° says:
you met me ^_^ than i went crazy and ate toast
23)i am the clumsyiest person ever!
24)Daft punk send you subliminal messages in thier songs! C/O Eskaia
25)if, by the time you read this i am not a mod...i am cursed
26)Why does nobody write FAQ's anymore!...i wrote one...
27)whenever i try to say that i...*gets eaten by cobras*...that happens
28)thou shalt have a fishy in a little dishy thou shalt have a fishy when the evil zombie mutant death child comes to destroy all...
29)beware of my friend james or bob 12%...never has GOLDFISH made so much sense
30)i am convinced bill gates is trying to kill me
31)why does chang from cvs2 have that "thing" with him!...IT IS'NT FAIR...you do a shun goku satsu then the thing runs up at you!!! could he be any more annoying
32)my breakfast cereal (sugar frosted evil mutants) DOES taste better than tar
33)how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?ITS 22 BROAD FEET YOU FOOL!
34)so what if robinsons stole mine and vlaads idea!thier high juice tastes nothing like ours anyway!...crammed with goodness...ours HAD SWEETS IN IT!we deserve that copywright!
35)i dont want to save time with at & t wireless...curse you banners
36)Dan hibiki IS good i dont care if his hadoken does 2cm from his face HE IS FUNNY
37)Don't know what to include? Whatever comes to mind and whatever you want to tell others about yourself. Be natural, be funny, be creative, but most of all, be you.
me eh?TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST!!!!
38)SKIES OF ARCADIA IS BETTER THAN FF9...next time i see zidanei will give him a sword of eclipse up his...ok since i have just lost 78% of my audience...on to 39
39)Dom is a cheese with hoahmaru!
40)hagich naoreni mattoka...yet another example of insane talk...in japaneese
41)i am actually a penguin in an exceedingly clever disguise
42)i get like 10 junk mails a day...man i hate that!
43)probably the only person who has read this far is eskaia...it better be...i read hers...so...toast rules
44)where would you guys be without me?
45)Friends is better than most tv shows
46)the band kittie sound more like dogs...and angry dogs at that!
47)MIDI Songs S-U-C-K
48)All your base are belong to us!...sorry i hate that stuff really
49)Techtroid loved this when i first showed it to him:
...And it all came together in what truly was one of the most godawful experiences I had ever put my mouth through. It was the equivalent of trying to chew on hair gel mixed with sand. It was like immersing your mouth in hot chunky peanut butter, and then finding out that IT WAS NOT PEANUT BUTTER. It was like naked jello wrestling at a crowded rodeo on a hot, sticky summer day in Texas. It's like your mom coming home and catching you trying on her underwear when you were eight years old. Um, actually it's nothing like that, and I would never have done such a thing... but if I had, it would've been because of Cajetas.
50)The most obvious clue the wrapper provides is a small, crudely drawn train (go ahead, say it out loud; we know you want to: "chaca chaca, chaca chaca, chaca chaca, choooo choooo!"), hauling what looks to be a load of coal. Well, there you have it. Any candy that is going to go and associate itself in any way with coal is a candy that you do NOT want to eat. BUT! we can dig much deeper than that. Look closely, and you'll notice that this train is the #13, the universally recognized unlucky number. The #13 is running on the "N de M" Railroad, which can only stand for "Norte de Muerto" or "North of Dead." Put this all together, and what have you got? The makers of Chaca Chaca are clearly trying to warn you that Chaca Chaca is brought to them in lumpy loads on the RAILROAD FROM HELL! That's correct, folks; Satan himself has the eternal souls of the wicked and damned mining Chaca Chaca from the fiery brimstone walls of his nether domain, and he wants nothing more than to run the #13, with it's lumpy, fruity, crusty load straight down your gullet, where it will rot and fester and consume your soul. Here, again, we have proof that bad candy is the tool of the devil. That Satan fellow sure is crafty.
But of course we ate it anyway. What can I say, we're stupid.
51)Fizzy Milk IS nice...its best beverage #2
52)Coffee is #1 beverage
53)Dont go now...this is just gettin' good...DOH!
54)Every second, a child weeps, sometimes because of bad candy...i think
55)DoubleZout will dehydrate their entire body, leaving nothing behind but a pile of calcium and carbon
56)This candy was designed by Communist China to alter our genetic traits, thus turning us all into submissive zombies during the COMING SOVIET INVASION! RIGHT! THAT'S IT! GRAB YOUR CHILDREN AND HEAD FOR THE FALLOUT SHELTER! THE REDS ARE COMING! THE REDS ARE C... um, ahem.
57)Eating Happy Plums is the equivalent of dying a thousand deaths. Nay, a million deaths. Keep telling yourself this as your molars crack through the hard gelatinous shell, because at first, Happy Plums don't taste that bad. But this is only to trick you into putting the whole thing in your mouth at once. Because once you actually break through to the spice covered plum... words, for the first time ever, escape me. There is no way to describe the horror of the sweet/sour spicy coating as it smothers you physically and emotionally and drags you, screaming and kicking, into a hellish, fiery pit of excruciating pain and agony, where it slowly flogs and tortures you in the sulphurus recess of your darkest fears for hours on end, before finally leaving you, mangled beyond recognition, to die. And that's not the worst part.
The worst part is that you can't spit it out. Remember that sticky, crunchy, gelatinous material coating the plum? It has permenantly sealed bits of the spicy terror between your teeth, and not even industrial steel wire will floss it out.
58)Any candy that "Has Vegetable Salty" is a candy that... what was that? Yeah, you heard me right; I said "Has Vegetable Salty." Let me repeat that, straight from the bag itself: "Has Vegetable Salty." I'm not stuttering, and you don't have a hearing problem. "Has Vegetable Salty.Has vegetable... salty. Has. Vegetable. Salty.
59)Okay. Forget everything you ever thought you knew about bad candy. Because this... this is the breaking point. This is where children weep and grown men cower. This is the proverbial "bottom of the barrel." Because it is my true belief that this is where it was gathered from. The bottom of a barrel. "What is it?" you may ask yourself. I'll tell you what it is. It's an insult. It's a slap in the face from Mexico. In selling you this candy, they have disrespected you and your family. This... is "Pulp of Tamarind."
Tamarind is described by it's makers as being the "Fleshy Part of Frut." I don't know exactly what "frut" is, and I can only hope that it isn't really covered in flesh, but I can assure you of one thing. "Frut" was never meant to be ingested, even when ground up in to a muddy, sticky, pulpy, highly viscous mass. But the muddy mystery doesn't end there. Oh, no. As Ben puts it, "If the black, sticky, pulpy compound is indeed the 'flesh of frut,' then the hard bits can only be the 'bone of frut.'" Mixed up inside this sludge of sleuthdom are rock hard chunks of unidentifiable origin, presumably the pits of "frut." Why these pits were not removed during the Tamarind manufacturing process defies logic, since they ARE NOT EDIBLE!it ensnared itself within my teeth and gums, thus assuring itself eventual deliverance into my digestive system, where, like a virus, it would no doubt take control of my mind. Meanwhile, I was busy trying to chew the hard chunks within the sludge, having mistaken them for something edible. Fortunately, my animal subconscience was more aware of the eminent danger than I was, and in an instinctual move of fight-or-flight, I somehow managed to spit the whole deal out into the sink, where it lay in a festering lump.
60)Pico is all about pain... in large quantities. The granuals melt into a sugary mass upon mixing with saliva on your tongue, and for the first few moments, actually taste rather good, if not extremely sour. But then the burning commences. It begins at the base of your throat, and spreads throughout your mouth until you either spit it out (yes), or swallow (no). But still the pain spreads. You may continue to spit or attempt to drink something, anything, in a vain effort to put an end to the tortuous pain. You'll gasp and claw at your throat, pleading for help. And then you'll die.
61)The only way to escape from the morphing bunny-rats is to sacrifice your tailbone... C/O Lillia
62)another long one...Lightspeed Taco says:
it was all an elaborate slice of cheese
AJ says:
on toast
Lightspeed Taco says:
...with butter
AJ says:
on a plate
Lightspeed Taco says:
...a big plate
AJ says:
on a tray
Lightspeed Taco says:
with salad on the side
AJ says:
with a caterpillar in it.
Lightspeed Taco says:
...and an oversized worm
AJ says:
Which has been bitten by a bird
Lightspeed Taco says:
...which flew out the window...and later shot...
AJ says:
by a poacher
Lightspeed Taco says:
with a duck for a hat
AJ says:
which had come from the Pacific ocean
Lightspeed Taco says:
where it led a happy life with 3 kids
AJ says:
who lter became house pets
Lightspeed Taco says:
to a loving family of killer whales
AJ says:
in a tank
Lightspeed Taco says:
...of lard
AJ says:
in a fridge
Lightspeed Taco says:
...with an unhealthy amount of beer in it
AJ says:
from Safeways
Lightspeed Taco says:
...where it was spat on
AJ says:
by the cashier lady
Lightspeed Taco says:
who had 5 husbands
AJ says:
and one of them was Bin Laden]
Lightspeed Taco says:
...and one was milhouse van houten
AJ says:
and one was Michael Jackson
Lightspeed Taco says:
...one was rob telman
AJ says:
and the last was George Bush
Lightspeed Taco says:
...who had the worlds largest piella
AJ says:
but didn't realise it
Lightspeed Taco says:
...because he was eating bill clintons toast
AJ says:
which had snot on it...
Lightspeed Taco says:
...than bill put there to defend it from bob 12%
AJ says:
but the plan didn't work
Lightspeed Taco says:
...sorry disconnected...because he was nuked
AJ says:
by German aircraft
Lightspeed Taco says:
...which was piloted by a newly revived HITLER!
AJ says:
with the tash and everything
Lightspeed Taco says:
he was eating a scnitzel
AJ says:
and toast
Lightspeed Taco says:
that he stole from the catterpillar(mentioned earlier)
AJ says:
that turned into a butterfly.
Lightspeed Taco says:
...but was eaten by hitler before he took the toast
AJ says:
which made Hitler blow up
Lightspeed Taco says:
with cheese
AJ says:
on toast
Lightspeed Taco says:
that hitler had made earlier whilst blowing up michel jackson
AJ says:
after blowing up George bush
Lightspeed Taco says:
...and before blowing up pizza hut#
63)if an orange is orange, whey isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? - or maybe I'll just have a big bunch of purples.
64)Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
65)If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
66)Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
67)What is the speed of dark?
68)if a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
69)War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
70)If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
71)if there was instant water...what would you mix it with?
72)We share the earth with Onion eater , Fish shoes , bottle of carbonated toast , pie , coffee table , none and many other plants and animals. Each type of cheese on toast and plant has its place on earth, and each one is dependent on DE Rol . Plants give off fart that onion boy needs to breath. Animals killing plants and spread their Chicken . Animals eat plants and in turn are eaten by chicken man . When plants and animals die, they become part of hell
73)Onion
Information is for 6.5 Cup Chopped
Nutrition Facts
Calories 395
Calories from Fat 18
74)Once upon a time... an Evil Chick Pea was living in Hell with his faithful Onion , Diva . The Chick Pea was often referred to as DE Rol due to his Finger lickin' good hand and his mooing head which insulted his Onion . One day the Evil Chick Pea wanted to clean the sponge in the torture chamber . In order to properly clean it, he would have to climb inside of the sponge . The Evil Chick Pea jammed his toaster accesory into the sponge and immediatly was surprised when he was Killed inside of it. It was hopeless to get the Evil Chick Pea out so he attacked and attacked hoping that someone would rescue him.
42 years later....
A construction crew had orders to toasting the Hell so a new Hell and co could be built. Before they could destroy it, they had to have an inspector check the place out. The inspector was surprised to find the body of the Evil Chick Pea trapped in the sponge . Instead of destroying it they decided to make it a museum of onion s featuring the Evil Chick Pea .
73)AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...THE BUZZING!!!!!!!!!!!
74)never even touch darrens flapjack...YOU SHALL BE KILLED!
75)dont agree with anything slasharms says when there is a girl anywhere near you!
76)never let laura borrow any of your stuff
77)never try to cheat people out of wins on starcraft...
78)...or PSO
79)dont joke that you need to eat onions to live...unless you want to eat one every day!
80)STOP QUEUEING MY POSTS SIN
81)emma must DIE!
82)dont tell people you will paint your house with thier blood
83)whats that?shin-shouryuken, knoks ya down before ya know it!
84)WHY IS STRANDED SO ADDICTIVE!
85)who can drink 5 cans of nescafe hot when you want without breathing in...ME!!!
86)are you ashamed?are you afraid?
NO I JUST EAT TOO MANY ONIONS!!!
87)Eskaia one day i shall beat you...then i shall laugh for hours
88)NEVER EAT BATCH 7, ITS POISONED!
89)dont try to get g5 out of the vending machine...it doesnt work
90)i have found 5 conspiracies on neoseeker, FIVE!!! and they have all been confirmed that they are true...ugh
91)hmmmmmmmmmmmm, 91, since you have read this far you either:
-have no life
-are strapped into a seat until you see it all
-a fan of me
...so thats everyone in the world
92)if insanity was feathers i would be a pillow factory
93)i think my mind only has a few of these left in it...thats all i know
94)...wait...theres more
95)shibby...is...now(a little me and slasharms joke, you wouldnt understand)
96)...mind...empty...must...talk...more
97)bored yet?
98)...thought not
99)could you believe i got this far..catchin' up with ya eskaia
100)kyo kusangi is not in my basement, locked up until he tells me how he sets his hand on fire *stares accusingly at everyone*
101)if you dont want to do a lesson at school, just hide in a corner
102)DATEL MUST BE DESTROYED!
103)if vlaad just walks away follow him, or you shall never see him again
104)NEVER SHOW ANYONE THAT YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF CHOCOLATE, YOU SHALL BE SWARMED BY PEOPLE
105)"...and i dont mind"...WELL I DO!
106)why are two moves on cvs named the same but are executed completeley different?
107)the word peas can scare away peoples girlfriends...BUT NOT MINE!!!MWUHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA
108)never let stacey get anywhere near paint...NEVER
109)how can guillotine sound like shark syrup...i dont know...but it can
110) please...dont shout i hope you all die in the middle of a maths lesson
111)"Upload a photo of yourself or any zany graphic that you want to represent your profile. "...FINE THEN, I WILL
112)WHAT DO ALERTS HAVE TO DO WITH DVDS, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
113)that aint no reeeeaaaaal reason...actually...it IS
114)ah...114...my brain is SSSSSOOOOOOOOO POWERFUL!!!
115)why does sin think he looks like k' dash?
116)the cvs2 intro crater is the wrong size!!!!!!!
118)dont try to feign sickness 6 times in one day...please
119)i really hate adverts...and bannanas
120)I WIN!!!!!!! I WIN!!!!!
121)damn phone companies...
122)starcraft...play online...GET THRASHED BY ME!!!
123)hey look! its 123
124)VLAAD IS NOT mystic dave!!!!...apparently
125)do not cough into peoples inhalers, it makes you SICK
126)AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, THE CLICKING RETURNS!!!!
127)Vlaad says:
oh so you don't wanta go to Ryde
Makiro says:
i do
Makiro says:
I DO!
Vlaad says:
fine, dont go if you dont want to
...evil kid...
128)X-TRA OPTION MODE ROCKS!!!!!!!!
129)Vlaad says:
ill ring you tomorrow
Vlaad says:
by the way I HAVE MSN MESSENGER
ISNT IT OBVIOUS?
130)seems that i rule...*sigh*
131)so eskaia you think you can get exactly 130 and be equal with me eh? NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!
132)no-one shall defeat me ever my feet must remain on
133)how did you discover lea and perrins?I BOUGHT IT AT THE BLOODY SUPERMARKET!
134)my toast shall remain toasted thank you
135)at this exact moment, i have the longest Neo-Bio
136)[PZ]!!![PZ]!!!WE ROCK!!
137)shibby!
138)i know the above one was a single word...i dont care either
139)if there was a mall on the isle of wight i would be a mall rat BUT THERE ISNT!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
140)Simball2k shall not make the IOW sink...not before me anyway
141)eskaia...i know where you live...no really i actually do!
142)ugh, i dont think that my brain can take this much thinking
143) ITS [PZ] YOU MORON!!! IT STANDS FOR SOMETHING!!!
144)vlaad will never beat the starcraft admins...EVER!
145)my flavour crystals are onion flavour...they make you weep MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
146)*sits back in chair*ahhhhhhh, face it eskaia...you lose...me win...me eat...toast*falls asleep*
147)cant...beat...me...cant eat...until...i win
148)pez IS dust, trust me, i have experience
149)you can never take sc away from me!!!
150)50 bc's vs 2 ghosts, i lose, possible, apparently
151)MUST MELT THE BUTTER!YOU GOTTA!
152)people just appear in forums when they dont have the game...
152)dont push people off benches...especially me
153)Buy an arcade machine, put it in your room, cheat money out off friends, i got SF II for Ł200
154)My new neo game is now not so new, 32 pages though...
155)neohomes dont have enough tags able to use, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
156)hahahahaha, The UK dont need the lisence thingies for PSO V2
157)japaneese players sure are genorous, Yarigamasu, free, never thought id see the day
158)Kyo can soooooooooo badly beat iori, isnt it odvious
159)dont usefist of the north star moves in fights, especially alluring vision palm, bob 12 sure got beat baaaaad, other game moves work though
160)SEGA lie!!, never listen to them, just play thier games
161)dont pick pieces of metal off walls, if you do grace shall kill you
162)people MUST write more faqs, keep it alive peoples!!!
163)why has my neoguestbook got i entry in it, every one elses have more, even mercs
164)hamburger MAG, Wha???
More soon Fish Fans... |
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