I have a neohome! night...i sell...*whispers* porno...


These stories are about the ball grabber (my dad) when he says something new i'll update!

This happened a couple weeks ago, My dad and i were watering the peaches, when he says,

"here have a peach"

then i ask if they are supposed to be cleaned first, he says oh yeah, then goes to a puddle of mudd with some water, and "cleans" the peach in it. He eats half then gives me the other half, then looks at me. I am forced to take a bite, i do he looks down and moves the hose from one tree to another, thats my chance, i quickly spit the peice out of my mouth and throw the peach far away, he doesn't know, until it hits the house then my dad says why'd you do that? So he gets another peach and this time washes it in his beer. End
On aug 1, 2003, my dad and i were rewiring the trailor and truck, we hear our 60 year old neighbor outside hoeing, you know that tool used to weed thats called a hoe, so she's over there and my dad decides to ask if shes still hoeing around. Of course sally, being to old to understand what he means, just says yes. So this leads to him talking to me about porno.

"You know son, when i was younger i once saw a porno with an old lady, and a young dude."

"Thats enough dad i don't want to hear anymore"

"If you looked at her butt you couldn't tell, the camera started down there and it moved up her body until i saw her face, it was gross"

*he gives me a nasty look* End.
i was in my moms bathroom talking to her and the ball grabber comes in from the front yard (he was raking leaves) and says

"since men are hunters, and women are gathers, i've hunted all the leaves, can you go gather them?"
My dad and I were washing my moms car, when my neighbor comes out and asks us why we are washing her car, so my dad, being the ball grabber, says

"i'm hoping to get lucky tonight"
My dad had just taught me how to rub my mom's back and said

"see, just like rubbing a small tittie"

"Kinda" I said.

"What!? How would you know!!!???" My mom craftily replied!

Thanks to the ball grabber, my mom now correctively assumes, that I rub(bed) my Gf's boobs...That ass (the Ball Grabber that is)


The ball grabber often pets my dog Casper, the one of which he likes, but he hates the other dog, Reason. He'll be petting Casper, then Reason will run up, he'll say something nice to Casper, but say something mean to Reason. Usually something like this.

"Good boy Casper, good boy. Get away from me reason. Run away, go commit suicide. Run into a wall, go run into a wall and commit suicide."
The ball grabber is mean to my dog, everytime it's a new way to kill my dog too. :(


I have a Solid Snake for you...
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Almighty President Richard B______

  • Wouldn't you like to know, California, ASU
  • Joined Dec 3, 2002
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