"Presented in full blasting 2D!!"

"For maximum enjoyment consume the purple pills before viewing."

"Every guestbook signing MAY help to feed a starving child (probably not)"

"If I help you discover the meaning of life then please connect me with your dealer."

"WARNING: May contain traces of peanut."

"Now with 90% more alcohol than usual."

"For best viewing wear your contacts."

"While you read this, a team of rabid monkeys are stealing your dryer."

"Served best when rare."

"Each pound of me weighs over 1000 pounds."

"You are not being brainwashed. You are not being brainwashed."

"Unwrap for the mystery prize inside."

"Would the owner of a blue volvo please return to your vehicle; you left the lights on!"


"WARNING: May cause a fatal tumor."

"Sponsored by the Quit-line, the Cancer Council and Laramie cigarettes."

"All posts are performed by professionals and should not be attempted at home, except by complete idiots."

"May be harmful if swollowed."

"You are watching FOX."

"More metaphors than a blue Mistubishi."

"Sign my bookie or the monkeys will kill me."

"Now appealing to all ages."

"By reading this you lose weight!"

"Reading my profile the whole way through is the equivalent to running a marathon! (gnod it's long)"

"Guarranteed to confuse the hell out of you (not a guarrantee)"

"Three Gertrudes can't be wrong!"

"Guarranteed to waste previously useful minutes of your life."

"Any resemblance to quality is entirely your fault."

"Now available in stereo surround sound."

"Supporting world domination!"

"This Neo-Home was written by a small army of rabid raccoons."

"Comes with your choice of topping."

"Gay thirteen year olds rule!"

"Sign my bookie and feel better about yourself."

"Every signing inflates my ego."

"Filmed on location."

"Big party at my place after this!"

"A supervillain; there's no way I can fail!"

"All outfits supplied by the Salvation Army (suckers)"

"Read twice; feels nice."

"WARNING: May or may not contain elements of actual humour."

"This space for rent."

"Press the red button. You know you want to."

"Now with much less big words."

"Available in one whole language!"

"Not in anyway associated with the Mafia."

"We take the point and add less."

"I thought the cop was a prostitute."

"You will all die tomorrow."

"Aliens have started stealing your brain from around caption twelve."

"Brain-washing civillians for the Soviet Union!"

"More enjoyable when you touch yourself."

"Insert caption here."

"This Neo-Home is running for Prime Minister of Australia."

"Written under the influence."

"It's never going to end."

"Should not be taken internally."

"Stickin' like stickless glue."

"Coming soon to theatres everywhere."

"Boring the public for nearly 3000 posts!"

"Flesh eating bacteria in every box!"

"Somehow still going!"

"Now with over TWO DIFFERENT supporters!"

"Three new words included."

"Like a category five hurricane, I'll blow you and everything you own away."

"And you thought you were rid of me."

"May include a near-sex experience."

"With a Neo-home that lasts longer than a duracell battery."

"Going now, for the good of the city!"