This is pretty much just a notepad for me!! ha!!

CHOOSE... Choose the Fife Free Press not the Dunfermline Press. Choose to wave to Roary Rover. Choose away days at Stair park and Ochilview. Choose to sing The Rovers go to Munich the Pars go to Greenock. Choose Jim Baxter not Jim Leishman. Choose the Fitba Arms and the 200 club not legends or the Elizabeathan. Choose the Bells challenge vase, crystal decanter cup thing and not the Champions league gravy train. Choose to play for Geordie MunRovers or Raith Ladies. Choose Dazza's hooter over Jordan's. Choose Grass and not Astro turf. Choose to travel with the Supporters club or the Fife's Finest and not the somebody loyal. Choose to do the bouncy and to not be a Par. Choose to remember the sun shining on the cowshed. Choose to look on the best side of Fife. Choose to never care about your pals religion. Choose Coca Cola and not Woodrows. Choose 2711 as your password for everything. Choose the 50/50 and not the National lottery. Choose half time stovies and to mistrust french loafs. Choose to decide every disagreement with a Celtic fan via a penalty shoot out. Choose Penman, Young, Leigh, Till and not the overpaid Galacticos. Choose Geordie Munro as your local MP. Choose Stark's Park "The Home Of Football". Choose to support your local team with pride. Choose Raith Rovers FC.

THE average Englishman, in the home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume — a shabby raincoat — patented by chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland. En route to his office he strikes along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland. He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland, arrives at the station and boards a train, the forerunner of which was a steam engine, invented by James Watt of Greenock, Scotland. He then pours himself a cup of coffee from a thermos flask, the latter invented by Dewar, a Scotsman from Kincardine-on-Forth.

At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by James Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland. During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, blacksmith of Dumfries, Scotland.

He watches the news on his television, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland, and watches with interest an item about the U.S. Navy, which was founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI & I, who authorized its translation.

Nowhere can a foreigner run to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He could take to drink, but the Scots make the best in the world. He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick of Pitfours, Scotland. If he escapes death, he might then find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, which was discovered by Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and later given an anaesthetic, which was discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, Scotland.

Out of the anaesthetic, he would find no comfort in learning he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask: “Wha’s Like Us?” He who laughs last thinks slowest. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. On the other hand you have different fingers. Change is inevitable except from a vending machine. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. Honk if you love peace and quiet. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. You can't have everything....where would you put it? Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats. I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

"The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong, without comment"

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