Quitting Neo and Possibly Schizophrenic

Well, on the 17th of January, 2009, Marie announced she was quitting Neoseeker. She is, sort of. Today, Lix told her she could log on, but she decided she wasn't gonna reply to PMs or post. So, you can PM her all you want, but she won't reply. She doesn't like replying to PMs anyways. She likes MSN better because it's faster and she won't forget what she said every ten minutes. .____. Well, actually, that's how Marie feels. Lemme tell you about her other side. Me, Erin.

I, Erin Ashleigh Varner lives in Salisbury, Maryland. She's not going to share the high school she goes to, perverts. >> She's 16 years old, her birthday is November 12th, 1992. She had dark brown hair, green eyes, and is slightly pale. She's 5'5, weighs around 115 pounds, and has a fraternal twin sister, Erica. Erica looks exactly like Erin, but with blonde hair and blue eyes. They have an older brother, Brian, who is 22, but he left for Afghanistan and will not return until May, 2009. :(

I used to have a friend named Tom. He went to the same elementary and middle school as me, and one year from high school until he was home schooled. He was bullied a lot and got bad grades. I was basically his best friend, and we sat beside each other in a certain class, which he failed. We were both in standard math, and sometimes I would help him with his math work. His highest grade he got on a test was a C+, because of me.

He was my best friend. My bestest friend in the world, other than my twin sister, Erica. We worked on a science project in the 4th grade and I went to his house a couple of times. His mother is pretty nice. His house is nice, too. I haven't been there in years, now. It's pretty depressing, actually. I thought he was so cute, but I never told him I liked him. Everyone at school always teased me about him liking me, though he never admitted to it, nor did he ask me out. Sometimes we would walk home together, if Erica was going to a friend's house after school. He would walk me home, since his house wasn't too far from school, and his mother trusted him with walking home by himself. He lives two neighborhoods away, but the blocks here are small.

We would play together at recess sometimes, sometimes versing each other on the swings, to see who could swing the highest. I won a lot, but I think it's because he just left me win. Yeah. I liked Tom a lot, but I couldn't sum up my courage to tell him that. I didn't want to make a fool out of myself.

When we got to middle school, it was all hell for Tom. He was bullied a lot, sometimes he'd get pushed into lockers, called a fag, beat up, and teased about his grades. I beat up a couple of guys for calling Tom a fag, and that resulted in a week of detention, after school in the office. The detentions were one hour long and very boring. Tom thanked me, but his bullies did not stop harassing him.

In high school, we were lab partners. The partners were picked out of a hat, boy and girl together. Erica got paired up with a boy named Ryan, I got paired up with Tom. Tom was not good at science, so I ended up doing the mixing, and he would write out the reports. I gave him credit, though, but the teacher didn't look like he believed me.

But when he told me he was going to be homeschooled, I was so upset. I threw up right there, and some puke got onto his shoes. He was absent a lot, missing school, and trying to get away from the bullies. I missed him. My best friend wasn't there with me. When he stopped coming to school all together, I changed. I started throwing up constantly, and becoming something I wasn't. I would act differently, like a different person, and my parents sent me to a therapist. I saw Tom there sometimes, but he would act as if he didn't recognize me. That hurt. It hurt badly. I said hi to him once, but he just looked at me as if I were some pedophile asking if he wanted to come into his van for some lollipops. After that, I just stopped saying hi all together.

I love Tom. I love him a lot. Even though I have a boyfriend now, James, whom I've met at church, I still love Tom. I'm obsessed with him. Whenever I throw up for no reason, it means Tom is on my mind, and I'm turning into another personality. Not Erin; another person. I miss Tom so much. I fantasize about him, and I'm in love with him.


musingsthoughts

Responses (14)

1 thumbs!
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Gaaralover12345 Jan 23, 09
we're in the same boat, it seems.
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Vena Jan 23, 09
Float mah boat.
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Gaaralover12345 Jan 24, 09
heh.

the guy I like hates me. Made me cry.
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Gaaralover12345 Jan 24, 09
over, and over and over and over and over and over and over.........
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Vena Jan 24, 09
Doesn't sound like a good guy to me.
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Gaaralover12345 Jan 24, 09
yeah, well, it was my fault, anyway.
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Vena Jan 24, 09
EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES. EVERYBODY HAS THOSE DAYS. ONE, TWO.
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Gaaralover12345 Jan 24, 09
yeah, well, he didn't mean to hurt me.
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Gaaralover12345 Jan 24, 09
oh, and I might be schizophrenic, as well.
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Vena Jan 24, 09
orly nao.
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Gaaralover12345 Jan 24, 09
I see people talking to me in the shadows that none else can see.
I also hear random voices sometimes.
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Gaaralover12345 Jan 30, 09
only really happened 5 times, the rest is all in my head, I think.
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Bleeding Rose Jul 8, 10
Uh, I'm pretty sure if you're hearing people talking to you from the shadows that's in your head, too...
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Vena Jul 8, 10
not really tbh
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