why do the people on here have such long and ridiculous usernames? it doesnt make you look intellectual to have a name like freakin' Super califragilistic expialidocious, like where the *bleep* did you come up with that? you probably dont even know the real meaning and how the HELl are people supposed to tag you or anything? jesus your username should be nice and simple. like vena.


usernames idiots people hahahahaha musingsthoughts neoseeker related

its not very fun here anymore, so i'm leaving. i guess i left two thursdays ago, but yeah.

Important: Blog posts must observe the spirit and intent of the forum and site rules.
Please post responsibly :)

if you need me, i'm on tumblr. p0st-m0rt3m.tumblr.com.



i dont know anymore honestly. like, i loved you, i loved yuo more than *bleep*ing anything and then you found it hilarious and then you just stopped talking to me. god i miss you, i miss loving you and i miss being so happy when i thought of you. now whenever i think of you i feel like burying my face in a pillow, curling up in a ball and screaming.

look what love has done to me.

bel peol shakugan no shana musingsthoughts

The dead body arrives at the morgue.

The body’s identity is confirmed, assigned an identification number, and given a toe tag, which ia a cardboard ticket with all of the corpse’s pertinent information written on it. This tag is tied to the big toe.

The body is photographed from head to toe, front and back, in the clothing it was wearing when it arrived at the morgue.

The body is photographed from head to toe, front and back, completly naked.

The body is weighed on a scale, and the weight is recorded. The body is also measured for length, and completely X-rayed.

The fingerprints of the corpse are taken. In instances in which hands and/or fingers are missing parts are duly noted.

The clothing the deceased was wearingupon arrival at the morgue is carefully examined. Fiber samples from the garments are taken for later study, and stains on clothing are noted and examined.

Any and all moles, wounds, tattoos, scars(including sergical scars), and other physical body anomalies are noted and examined.

The corpse’s fingernails, toenails, skin, and hair are examined. The skin on the arms and legs is carefully checked for syringe markings.

During a medical autopsy of a female, a rigorous examination of the external genitalia(labia, pubic hair, and so on)is performed to determine whether or not there was a *bleep* or sexual assault committed against the woman prior to (and/ or after) her death.

Body fluids(blood, urine, and so on) are withdrawn from the body and subjected to comprehensive toxicology tests.

The coroner makes a huge, full body-length “Y” incision that opens up the entire front of the body. The incision starts at each shoulder, proceeds on an angle down to the mid-chest, and then joins into a straight line that extends all the way to the pubis. This is the most dramatic element of a medical-legal autopsy, and most people who have never seen one performed are stunned by the dramatic way the body is spread wide by this incision. Many people have, at one time or another, seen some sort of sergical proceedure performed. The incisions, even for major abdominal sergery, are thin, neat, and relatively “clean.” An autopsy incision need not be neat, nor concerned with excessive bleeding. Thus, the corpse is split wide open by a deep cut that is a very effective reminder that the person being autopsied is, in fact, quite dead.

First the organs of the upper abdominal cavity-the lungs, heart, esophagus and trachea-are removed. The coroner then takes out the lower abdominal organs, which include the liver, spleen, kidneys, adrenals, stomach, and intestines. Slices of each organ are taken and tested.

The internal genitalia of both males and females are examined. In the case of females, the uterus and *bleep* are carefully studied for sighns of pregnancy, *bleep*, or some form of sexual assault.

The organs of the pelvic region, including the bladder, the uterus, and the ovaries, are removed. Samples of each organ are taken and analyzed.

When the cause of death are either drowning or a suspected poisoning or drug overdose, the contents of the stomach are removed, examined, and carefully analyzed. All findings are recorded.

Any and all bullet wounds are recorded. The number of wounds is noted, as well as the percieved direction(s) of the bullet(s). An estimate, based on the configuration of the bullet enterance wounds, is made as to what distance the gun was from the victim when it was fired. All bullets are removed from the body and placed in plastic bags. The bullets are then examined by a ballistics lad and findings are recorded as evidence.

First, a deep incision is made in the skin of the scalp. The cut, which is called intermastiod, begins behind one ear, travels over the top of the head, and ends behind the opposite ear. The scalp is then grasped firmly and pulled forward over the face, baring the bony skull. Using an electric saw, a wedge-shaped portion of the skull is cut out and removed, exposing the brain. The brain is then removed in its entirety, wieghed, and examined.

Since he or she is now through with them, the coroner returns all of the removed internal organs to the body cavities.

The autopsy findings, complete with a final opinion as to the cause of death, as well as all reports and photographs, are turned over to legal authorities. This “package” becomes part of the corpus delecti, and is used as evidence in a court of law when necessary. The folder containing all of this detailed information is known as the case file.

A final determination is made as to the cause of death, and the death certificate is filled out.

The body is turned over to the funeral director the family has selected. The body is then prepared for burial, cremation, or donation.

other musingsthoughts

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i just got myself into a mess by not minding my own damn business. i had a five minute rage encounter by making the frage face at Anime Gurl 546789 times over msn, then i calmed down, then i had a panic attack.



Hey y'all. I haven't written a blog in months, and I felt like sharing my experience of the first day of school which started today.

This morning on the school wall was posted the class lists. Unfortunately, I saw myself being in a class with whom I was convinced was a complete pedo. When the bell rang I went to my classroom and sat down with Aliyya, and we are locker partners (Speaking of, I have no idea how to open my locker. Lmfao) now.

I'm in class 8B--Finally! The 8th grade! I've been waiting for that day ever since I was little. Since I go to a middle school, the 8th graders are at the top of the school. There's grad this year, trips, and lots of attention (No one payed attention to the 7th graders last year... ;-; ).

My homeroom/MST Teacher is actually not a pedo, he actually has two young boys. XD My French class was kind of confusing, we have one teacher this week and next week we have another one. My gym class is good, I didn't want one teacher, and I didn't get him. He seems tough. ;-;

My LGH/A Teacher seems awesome, though, because Language Arts/English is my favorite subject and I hope to enjoy the class as much as I did last year. I didn't meet all of my teachers today though, because we have different ones every day of the cycle.

So that's about it. I like school, but I was exhausted when I came home and took a nap. XD


other musingsthoughts

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Yeah... ;-; Here's the full story from an MSN convo with Faham yesterday, explaining the whole story.

and like, this is how it happened:

I was going down the stairs to put the attendance back, and then i tripped. i was nearly at the bottom anyways, so i fell against the wall. i tried getting up, but it wouldn't work, so i looked at my knee, and it was dislocated. i was so freaked out, i started screaming ;-; then thank god juliana came and i was like "PLEASE YOU'VE GOTTA HELP ME d; GET THE OFFICE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE *cries*" then she left, and more people came and i said that again ;-;

Then Mrs Hatton and everyone came and they called 911 and stuff and i was so freaked out, i was leaning against the wall holding my leg and freaking out ;-; they called my dad who came after the ambulance came, and when the paramedics came, i was so scared i started crying like crazy ;-;
then they put me on the stretcher, and in the ambulance, it was kinda cool :3

then like, we got to the hospital and stuff, and i had to wait FOREVER in this hallway with my dad while they tried getting me a room, and then i screamed out "FUCCCCCK *bleep**bleep**bleep* =|" because my knee was like throbbing and stuff.

all day, from like 9:35 until around 2:15 - then finally i got a room, and like, after a super long time i got an xray and it was friggin hell because they had to move my knee around and it was still disloacted, right.

Me: so after like, forever with me screaming and stuff and a nurse giving me morphine, the doctos came, put me to sleep, and put my knee back into place. i wasn;t out long, i could feel them putting on the brace, but i didn't open my eyes. i used the breathing mask a lot, then i got thristy. i was sleepy for a while though, but they said i could only hae water if i was fully awake.

then i got another xray, got myself some pants (they cut my jeans up :_:), got my crutches, and went with my dad to get my medication.
then i had pizza and went home <3

- - -

Yeah. Here's a couple pictures:

My knee brace:

My crutches:

Yeah, but otherwise, I'm doing well. =D


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Leaving neo again for the lulzk, you know? I'm getting bored of this place and it's just boring in genereal. The people are boring, PMing is boring, the forums are boring, the WL is filled with losers who can't write properly *cough*lolpregnancystories*cough*.

So yeah. I'm gonna block this website from Firefox and IE access and I don't care what you guys think. Silenced, if you make another blog post about my leaving, and I hear about it, I'll die laughing. Honestly, I'm not you're effing neo-life and all that crap. Because you know, I can turn out to be some 55 year old man living near you and I look at child pron. : D

So yeah. tl;dr?


I'm not coming back for a while.



playstation portable

So, like, it's official. I have my first boyfriend from IRL. =3 The past couple of years, i'm been in two online relationships. Sure they were fun and stuff, but after my online breakup in August, I wasn't really feeling myself that much. You can say I'm growing up fast and want to experience relationships, dates, etc.

Well, last week, on Thursday or something, Emily said, "Hey Marie I dare you to ask Ben out" and I was like "Uh, okay."

So I asked Ben out. His response was Okay...?

So yeah. Today, Feb. 3rd 2009, Emily said "Okay Marie. You're gonna kiss him after school to make it official" [[That Ben and I are dating]] and I was like, "Okay, fine. I'll do it." And so I got kind of nervous and etc. XD

So, after school today, I met Jennifer at her locker with Emily and we waited for a bit. I saw Ben and Emily said "HEY BEN MARIE HAS TO ASK YOU SOMETHING" and he was like "Uh okay". I said, "Okay Ben I'll meet you outside, 'kay?" "'Kay."

Jennifer, Emily and I waited outside by the fence for Ben, and we were giggling and stuff like the immature 12 year olds we are. Soon, Ben came outside and Emily went "asklhfajkfsaklfase" and stuff. Then, it was my time to kiss him. <3 I went up to him, stood on tiptoe cuz he's taller than me, and aimed for his cheek, but...

I ended up kissing his ear. :|



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I'm crying irl. My hands are shaking and my heart is pounding like crazy. This, kids, is called a panic attack. I'm having a friggen panic attack right this second and I think I just need to vent.

Well let's just say its your normal 12 year old girl facebook drama. Lets say I brought my camera to school and took pictures of everyone, including this girl me and Jennifer both hate. Let's say I posted the pictures on facebook and tagged Samantha (the girl I hate) in them.

Let's say my friend, Ashley, from my old school commented on Sam's pictures because I told her to comment, but I never said to comment the way she did. Ashley commented with funny things, such as "gawsh marie, come back to our school, at least we have some decent lookin people!!!" and I was like "lol."

In another picture, of Samantha walking with Brandon, her ex-boyfriend, Ashley said "Hmm, that jacket looks a little tight, hmm?" and I was like "HAHAHAHAHA XD" etc. Then, in another picture I took secretly of my, Jennifer's, and emily's shadows, samantha commented, but she deleted it before I could see it. Samantha's friend commented with a bunch of crap that was very insulting to me like "oh my god marie like call jenny craig" and "you're the one whos' gonna explode cuz lyk your shadow lookms like u weight 3082398524- pounds etc." and all that.

That's when I looked at the screen and was like o___O irl. Then, I started shaking. My hands went clammy, my heart started pounding, and I started hyperventilating. This is my version of a panic attack. I soon deleted my facebook account, and yeah. I started crying irl because I was so upset, and now I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. Samantha's friend's locker is right next to mine, and the friend is in my class, but she doesn't sit anywhere near me in any class. Thank God tomorrow is Friday. Thank God.

Yes, I'm sorry if you older people think this is pathetic, but I just needed to vent. I don't feel much better, still shaking, and my heart's still pounding away, but whatever. Thanks for reading, if you bothered.


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Well, on the 17th of January, 2009, Marie announced she was quitting Neoseeker. She is, sort of. Today, Lix told her she could log on, but she decided she wasn't gonna reply to PMs or post. So, you can PM her all you want, but she won't reply. She doesn't like replying to PMs anyways. She likes MSN better because it's faster and she won't forget what she said every ten minutes. .____. Well, actually, that's how Marie feels. Lemme tell you about her other side. Me, Erin.

I, Erin Ashleigh Varner lives in Salisbury, Maryland. She's not going to share the high school she goes to, perverts. >> She's 16 years old, her birthday is November 12th, 1992. She had dark brown hair, green eyes, and is slightly pale. She's 5'5, weighs around 115 pounds, and has a fraternal twin sister, Erica. Erica looks exactly like Erin, but with blonde hair and blue eyes. They have an older brother, Brian, who is 22, but he left for Afghanistan and will not return until May, 2009. :(

I used to have a friend named Tom. He went to the same elementary and middle school as me, and one year from high school until he was home schooled. He was bullied a lot and got bad grades. I was basically his best friend, and we sat beside each other in a certain class, which he failed. We were both in standard math, and sometimes I would help him with his math work. His highest grade he got on a test was a C+, because of me.

He was my best friend. My bestest friend in the world, other than my twin sister, Erica. We worked on a science project in the 4th grade and I went to his house a couple of times. His mother is pretty nice. His house is nice, too. I haven't been there in years, now. It's pretty depressing, actually. I thought he was so cute, but I never told him I liked him. Everyone at school always teased me about him liking me, though he never admitted to it, nor did he ask me out. Sometimes we would walk home together, if Erica was going to a friend's house after school. He would walk me home, since his house wasn't too far from school, and his mother trusted him with walking home by himself. He lives two neighborhoods away, but the blocks here are small.

We would play together at recess sometimes, sometimes versing each other on the swings, to see who could swing the highest. I won a lot, but I think it's because he just left me win. Yeah. I liked Tom a lot, but I couldn't sum up my courage to tell him that. I didn't want to make a fool out of myself.

When we got to middle school, it was all hell for Tom. He was bullied a lot, sometimes he'd get pushed into lockers, called a fag, beat up, and teased about his grades. I beat up a couple of guys for calling Tom a fag, and that resulted in a week of detention, after school in the office. The detentions were one hour long and very boring. Tom thanked me, but his bullies did not stop harassing him.

In high school, we were lab partners. The partners were picked out of a hat, boy and girl together. Erica got paired up with a boy named Ryan, I got paired up with Tom. Tom was not good at science, so I ended up doing the mixing, and he would write out the reports. I gave him credit, though, but the teacher didn't look like he believed me.

But when he told me he was going to be homeschooled, I was so upset. I threw up right there, and some puke got onto his shoes. He was absent a lot, missing school, and trying to get away from the bullies. I missed him. My best friend wasn't there with me. When he stopped coming to school all together, I changed. I started throwing up constantly, and becoming something I wasn't. I would act differently, like a different person, and my parents sent me to a therapist. I saw Tom there sometimes, but he would act as if he didn't recognize me. That hurt. It hurt badly. I said hi to him once, but he just looked at me as if I were some pedophile asking if he wanted to come into his van for some lollipops. After that, I just stopped saying hi all together.

I love Tom. I love him a lot. Even though I have a boyfriend now, James, whom I've met at church, I still love Tom. I'm obsessed with him. Whenever I throw up for no reason, it means Tom is on my mind, and I'm turning into another personality. Not Erin; another person. I miss Tom so much. I fantasize about him, and I'm in love with him.


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Pity me please.

I was up till 2 in the morning playing Animal Crossing and drinking a ton of coke. Now, I feel sick to my stomach. I keep having mood swings, and am seriously exhausted, and i feel like crying. i think I have the stomach flu or something. i also had a dream last night that i put into poetry:

i climbed out of the car that i don't own,
walked across the parking lot that doesn't exist,
walked into the wal-mart of an imaginary town,
and saw you standing at the entrance.

i looked at you, suddenly zooming in,
and i saw your miserable expression,
your eyes were sad, you looked unhappy,
but i said nothing; i walked into the wal-mart that didn't exist.

the store was practically empty, except for just a few,
i bought my batteries, payed for them,
went back outside, out of the walmart that didn't exist,
and you continued standing there, right at the entrance, of the walmart that didn't exist.

i stared at you again, studying your expression,
you were still miserable, you looked at me,
but i just turned away, ran to my car that i didn't own,
across the imaginary parking lot.

but i stopped halfway to my car that i didn't drive,
thinking about what to do, what to do next,
i wanted to sit in my car i didn't own,
but no; i just looked back at you.

you started to run towards me,
but i thought you were just gonna pass,
but you gave me a tight hug,
and your next words shocked me.

"i haven't told you this before,
and I'm not gonna hold it in any longer.
i'm in love with you."

in the dream, i blushed and felt my heart race,
i stared at you, and suddenly, you were happy,
so happy! you're rarely ever happy, so that sign was good,
your smile made me break into a grin.

but i don't know what i said to you after that,
maybe it was something along the lines of,
"i-i... i love you, too"?
i can't remember, but i know that you kissed me,

on my imaginary cheek,
in the imaginary parking lot,
of the walmart that didn't exist,
halfway to the car that i don't own.

The walmart that didn't exist. Yeah. But the title is just "my dream last night."

Today, after my computer was all loaded after I turned it on from coming home, I went onto neo, and into the Writer's Lounge, and discovered a ton of chaos in a few threads. There was a flaming thread, an angry writer, an angry moderator, and a confused Harvest Hunny sitting in her chair, whilst having the stomach flu. It's amazing of what happens when I'm not online for a day or two. Really. Heh, this reminds me of that one time last year, when I was still a mod... heh.


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A blog? Wtj? Harvest Hunny is writing a blog when she can't write one for the life of her? I suppose so. Well then. The only time I blog is on Myspace, and I haven't done a blog in a really long time. I guess I can continue the blogging bandwagon since everybody is doing so. Well then, here I go.

The other day on Thursday, during computer class, right before lunch, I was not feeling so jolly. I felt crampy, my stomach was hurting like hell, and I just did not want to do the assignment. Now, I hate computer class in school anyways, but I usually just go and do the assignment anyways, right? Right. But I refused to do anything. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom, so I did. When I found myself a stall, I discovered something quite disturbing. Yeah. Rust stain in my undies. Great, I thought. I hate getting this in the middle of the day. It's just a big bother.

Yeah. So now, I'm all crampy, my stomach keeps throbbing, I keep having mood swings, and feeling like throwing up. This feeling is not pleasant, I can tell you that. Yesterday (Friday the 9th) I stayed home from school because I really didn't want to walk around the halls all day, climbing the stairs to get to my classes, and doing gym class. In gym, we're doing basketball, and I'm not really a huge fan of that. Yeah, so my mom suggested I stay home. I stayed in bed all day, sneaked on the computer a few times, read New Moon, listened to my iPod, etc, etc.

And today, I'm excited to go to my dad's house, since all my video games are there. Last week, I collected some Animal Crossing codes, and I can't wait to use them. In my game, I collect Regal furniture, and I want to redeem all these codes so I can finish my collection. I've always like Regal furniture, because it's just amazing... the game itself is amazing, too. I started writing a review on it, but I haven't finished it yet. It's supposed to be very long, at the rate I started it at. Ugh.

Well, even if you don't like me or anything, and thought this blog was stupid, oh well. I'd still enjoy comments and stuff. First blog is first.

PS: WTJ stands for "What the Jonas?"


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