Traydor

I tried to join the X-Men but I think they may be racist - just because I'm human, they don't want my help. It seems it doesn't really matter if your super power's firing tuna melts.

I tried to join the Justice League, but Batman was a douche to me, and Black Canary wouldn't tell me "hi". And Plastic Man changed to a middle finger that was thirty storeys high.

I got a message from the Great Lakes Avengers. They offered me a membership but I did not accept 'cause they're a walking disaster...like a narwhal with a fireball, they just don't make sense at all. They're the worst heroes of all time; to call themselves 'Avengers' is a crime. Marcel Marceau was Europe's favourite mime, so I guess I'll look around.

I tried to join Green Lantern Corps, those guardians were such a bore, they said "no way" but I wasn't surprised. That's okay, those uniforms were so tight that I feared they'd chafe my thighs.

I tried to join Fantastic Four, I didn't even reach the door - who thought that H.E.R.B.I.E'd be such a serious guy? The reason I was told I could not join was that their car did not seat five.

I got a message from the Great Lakes Avengers. They offered me a membership but I did not accept 'cause they're a walking disaster...like a narwhal with a fireball, they just don't make sense at all. They're the worst heroes of all time; to call themselves 'Avengers' is a crime. Marcel Marceau was Europe's favourite mime, so I guess I'll look around.

But yeah they just kept calling me and hounding me, they said I'd fit their line up to a T, and as my options they were dwindling down, I kept holding out, for something better I thought was in store for me...

Doom Patrol?
No way!
Cyberforce?
No way!
Alpha Flight?
No way! (also, you are not Canadian)
Power Pack?
Too old!
JSA?
Too young!
Birds of Prey?
You're a dude!

So I'll guess I'll join the Great Lakes Avengers...they offered me a membership, and so I did accept, though they're a walking disaster, I find their heart of gold is something that cannot be sold.

Though they're the worst heroes of all time, it's remarkable they ever stop a crime.

Sitting poolside with free beer and lime - I guess I'll stick around.