After the tragic deaths of our brave young recruits, we did the only suitable thing.

We replaced them and moved on towards... wherever we were going. I fell asleep at the meeting today. Look, being somewhat responsible for a growing army fighting for a noble cause is very demanding when compared to not needing any responsbility to point a band of looters and lunatics in a direction and then watch the ensuing chaos. I'm still adjusting to this "honest day's work" nonsense.

We then ran into a slight problem.



(yes that is a jpeg yes the images are jpgs for the purpose of loading times and photobucket bandwith saving shut up)

Some of us just weren't quite mentally prepared to just off one of the Queen's children, even if she was likely a colossal bitch primed to continue the reign of terror... screw it. JUSTICE LIES WITH THE MAIN CHARACTERS. The newer recruits who didn't like the idea of offending the Queen were quickly reminded that not pulling their weight in this battle would offend me, and I was considerably closer to them than Ashivere was.

That got them moving.

Our plan was this; to move our main force to the river's edge while the mermen occupied the river itself. We would then wait for their soldiers to wade into the river to get at us and slaughter them with their 20% evasion. Once their ranks were thinned, we would then cross the river and swarm the Princess with our ranged attackers.



(She hurts up close. However, she never leaves the tile she's on so her hit rate is guaranteed to be 40%, and she has no ranged attack. Magic attacks are generally ranged and have a guaranteed 70% hit rate, making her defensive tiles absolutely useless. Can you see the problem here?)

The plan worked quite well... we lost some more of the new recruits (and Kanon's baby mermaid), but we also kept half of them and even got some of them to realise greater potential and promote. Also, one of them is called Add. Yes, really. He wasn't amused with me when I found this out, because I laughed a fair bit.



(bonus; kanon now has clothes)

I also gave her some arrows. We then explained to her that her mother was a lying bitch and Konrad was the rightful heir to the throne, but she was having none of that. Instead, she admitted defeat and pointed us north.

What we didn't know at the time, however...



... was that we would soon be mobbed by more undead. The daughter of that colossal bitch we call our Queen (until we kill her) is also a lying and scheming bitch. Wow, who'dve seen that coming? (spoiler; none of us, evidently) Fortunately, I was later informed that while we'd been doing our jobs and fighting the Princess, Lost had snuck into her quarters and claimed her undergarments for Kanon. Good old Lost Soul, always getting the last laugh on our enemies. :)

---



Yeah, the stat screens are getting too long for one screen now, but I managed to get the important people (except Add the Rogue, because frankly I think he should be made an honourary member of the forum for being our first recruit to level up) in one screen.

Next up, we get to fight some more undead.

other musingsthoughts

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Well, that was... something. Our last battle involved a mad dash through a mountain range to bring down an orcish warlord, whilst a second warlord was making his way towards us. I took a moment to suggest to Konrad that at this point we might want to consider bringing some new recruits to up our numbers and ready a larger elite force for when we eventually clashed with Ashivere. He agreed, and soon our Merry Band was joined by eight recruits. I caught the names of only two- Jdl and GlancingReverse- and before I could learn the rest Konrad had an idea; he would take the new recruits to deal with the southern threat while we (ie the people that can actually fight) actually got on with the mission. I accepted this proposal as I am a firm believer in throwing people in at the deep end, and we set off. This turned out to be a mistake.

We had been warned by Glancing- one of Kalenz's own men- that the mountains surrouding the roads were full of Orcs waiting to ambush us. Naturally, our recruits didn't quite get this memo and triggered the ambushes. Oops. Konrad and the new soldiers fought valiantly, though nearly all were killed in the attempt. Only Konrad and Jdl survived to regroup with us as we fought the warlord we were supposed to kill. He was a truly mighty foe, as all veteran Orcs are, but we had the mage Delfador, the Elf lord Kalenz, and a host of veteran soldiers. I'm fairly sure 14 very experienced fighters is better than one very experienced fighter, and the results agreed with us.

We had won, but it was a hollow victory. The reaper had caught up with our merry band, and the youth had paid for our sins. After a touching memorial from our priests of the Katholic Church (and, surprisingly, and arguement between Saint Kanon and our more pedestrian priests as to who would lead the service), the leaders of this whole thing (the Main Characters and myself) had a meeting. It was agreed that we would have to recruit more men, but after this slaughter I proposed that we would then mix the recruits in with our veterans, so that they could be protected as they continued to grow. The Josef Stalin School of War is not welcome here.

---



The meta reason for the new recruits is because the older characters are beginning to reach their highest classes (the purple exp counts), and there isn't as much benefit to continually levelling them up (I think they get a little bit more HP, but I could probably get a second Avenger with the exp it would take me to get Soda up another level, and I know a second Marshall would take less experience than levelling me again). As such, the best way to benefit from exp now is to just baby some new generic characters under the supervision of the maxed out characters while trying to get the rest of the older characters up there too.

And not letting Konrad take charge of them. A couple of the new guys almost hit level 2, and if they had the healing from levelling might have kept them alive. :(

Next... I dunno. I'll get on it this evening.


other musingsthoughts

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Some historians say I, The Deathwind, leader of this Merry Band, was lost at the battle of Elensefar, and that Konrad's crusade went on very successfully (and completely legally!) without me.

These historians are hereby banned from writing, drawing or even talking, because that is the biggest load of shit I have ever heard. I was vital to that crusade, and I most certainly wouldn't have been killed by some silly woman with a piece of wood. The only way you'd get a completely legal crusade (well, as legal as crusades get ie not possessing our delicious sense of OVERKIIIIILL) is by replacing us, the Merry Band, with some hapless goody-two-shoes. Which is dumb. So dumb.

I suppose the last account you heard from me (ie from a completely reputable source) was that we had fought down some Orcs at Elensefar and we were about to march on the undead. This is where some fools seem to think I was killed. I was actually in the back lines this time, as we left the undead to Elliot and Ghostmember, our mighty White Mages of the Katholic Church. Then, our mighty horsemen charged the evil Necromancer and skewered him like a fish. It was great.

Then our old Wizard supervisor Delfador showed up and told us that we were basically *bleep*ed. Well, thanks. We didn't need you to tell us that. He did also say, however, that he had a cunning plan to claim the Scepter (meta; yes that is exactly how they spell it shut up) of Fire, an ancient magical MacGuffin which would presumably destroy Queen Ashivere and restore peace to all of Wesnoth blah blah yadda yadda we've all heard similar shit a thousand times. Konrad's uncle (ie apparently the late king who got backstabbed by the bitch we now know as the Queen) somehow got it into his head that the successor to his throne should be the first of his family to retrieve the Scepter. That means Konrad has to retrieve it.

Sorry, wait no that's wrong. Because plot-critical main characters don't go near the fighting, that means we have to go into Dwarf Country looking for some shitty MacGuffin and let Konrad take the credit.

Some elf lord also volunteered himself for this quest. I'm not sure if that's altruism or him hearing I was here and wanting to kill me for sleeping with his sister. Or was that Demonfurry or Soda... dammit, all elven women look the same, I forget.

So now we have to race Queen Ashivere to this flaming wand so we have a case for Konrad becoming King. Couldn't the Merry Band just be treated as a band of rebels and go kill this bitch while Konrad and his fellow Main Characters go find the wand? I'm fairly sure by this point nobody will actually care about attempted regicide- shit we'd go down in history as the greatest public servants of all time if the stories I hear are any indication.

---



The plus side to White Mage exp is that a lot of the enemies I start fighting are undead, who die horrible deaths to holy magic. That exp will fill up eventually. And yes, Dmnt, if you ever read this, you finally levelled up.

I may need some new recruits. :|


other musingsthoughts

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I don't quite know what went wrong. By the time we'd gotten to Elensefar after a unicorn-centric drug induced haze, we find that it's been taken over by orcs (shit) with hordes of undead waiting to swoop in as well (double shit).

Well, we're nothing if not a tenacious, so we figure that we'd best just get on with it and slit throats and steal panties. Fortunately for us and all who kinda depend on us (even though they wish they didn't have to), while it takes several weeks for orcs to occupy a city, it takes us a day and a night to march in, kick the shit out of them and reclaim it.

The undead are a bit tougher. They hover and laugh at us as we epically fail at cutting them up. We then laugh as Elliot shows them the light... light magic. The power of the lord is to incinerate ones enemies while *bleep* to bizarre lolicon. Huh.

Oh, and molater killed a fair few. Piles of bones don't seem to like being trampled by horses.

Incidentally, I died. Game Over, guys.


musingsthoughts gaming related

http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html

Dear gods. We went to sleep after a fun night of slaughter, parties and panty stealing (way to go TLS, stealing the mayor's wife's undergarment collection, we're completely *bleep*ed if we don't get out of here ASAP), and I have the most TRIPPIN' BALLS dream ever.

So we're a bunch of trippin' ass mechanical unicorns with RAINBOW MANES, and we have to run like hell infinitely. Smashing into stars. Shit is amazing.

And yes, this is why you don't have an update yet.


musingsthoughts

So some evil sorcerer is summoning THE UNDEAD to put a new slant on necrophilia and then just kill everyone. Bullshit, I say, and lead the Merry Band in a pincer attack on the evil MUFF MALAL (hehehe, "muff").

Team one: Me, Konrad, Ghostmember, Dragon, TLS, Soda
Team two: Demonfurry, Kanon, Dmnt, Elliot, molater, Legatus, tomato

It goes... well. Mr.Timewarp had a large part in this (Meta-note: Turns 6-7 and 11-13 were absolute hell to get right, since there was always someone who got absolutely gangraped by the armies that were being mass produced. Seriously, the enemies may have been Level 0, but there were 6 of them every turn, and then sometimes some mages of evil persuasion were enlisted. This... was bad.) from what I heard afterwards.



However, we all somehow lived long enough to get near Muff Diver- sorry, Malal, then we proceed to teabag him by showing that we have 13 people to destroy the 6 zombies he makes every so often. He pales. He screams. He cries. He begs us to stop torturing him.

Dragon stabs him in the face with a bloody huge lance. At least he dies quickly enough, setting us back on the road to That Pissing City Causing All The Fuss.

---

Stats;



woo konrad levelled


abba musingsthoughts gaming related

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So this is a fairly nice place. Except it's not, because I don't smell the MONEY we were promised- just a bunch of Orcs, and some cages of Mermen. We free the nearest ones, and they go off to free the rest. And then I see some fifteen odd mermen charging across the open seas to wage war on some Orcs. Good on them, I say. We need less of those bastards anyway.

We spend about... a day and a half getting ourselves into a position to tell the orcs on land that while their buddies have angry mermen, they have a far worse job; dealing with us.

At dawn of the third day, we're positioned quite nicely; about half a day's march to their keep. The mermen have joined us as well, which is pretty cool. Yes, that's right, in the time it's taken us to march halfway to the enemy fort, the mermen have swum out to sea, kicked a load of ass and swum back to us. Shit, they make us look like pussies. Shame they can't do crap on land, though.

By the way, did I mention how much I hate rivers? Not only do they take forever to get across, they give the mermen a shot at showing us all up and stealing our ki-- HOLY SHIT WHERE DID THAT THUNDERSTORM COME FROM?

Oh. Little baby mermaid who was trapped with the others found an ancient storm trident while they were all out fighting for glory. Kanon looks at me and Konrad as if to say "can we keep her?" and I'm inclined to agree. Not so Kanon can have a small child, of course, but more because I'd kinda like to think that at least the little baby who calls down thunderstorms is doing it for us and not anyone we may be trying to kill at some point in time.

Meanwhile, in all of this, Elliot and Ghostmember have taken up holy vows to molest small children and do good around the world. In this, they have gained the ability to heal us (YES) and give the undead the metaphorical super-effective finger (Meta-sidenote: YES). Also, tomato has worked out how to make the laws to probability and terrain his bitch. As that crazy Orc that thought LOL HE CANT HIT ME THROUGH THESE HOUSES found out.

Also, Delfador showed up to tell us that Queen Bitch has invaded the City of Elensefar- AKA, Shit Has Just *bleep*ing Hit the Fan. She's taken every major peace treaty in the history of ever and told them all to screw themselves. Sweet. We kinda have an excuse for regicide now, though from what I've heard about her no decent court would charge us with anything other than "public service of the highest order" if we tried it. And he won't be coming with us to save the place, the bastard. Konrad's all like "fuuuuuck i cant do this alone fuuuu--" and all angsty like that. I then deliver the slap of all slaps and tell him to smell the goddamn coffee. Whatever coffee is, I heard some noble yelling about waking up and smelling the coffee a long time ago.



The Deathwind; Murderer, looter, con-artist, blatant liar, ACE GODDAMN LEADER. (is that a bastardised tree of gondor i see on that entrail-flag).

And yes, I did refer to my band of lunatics and rapists as "Loyal Soldiers". Hooooly shit, I hope he realses what a lie that is before he holds me to that one. Delfador tells us we can either take a boat or walk. I, ACE LEADER, put my foot down and say NO BUGGER THE SHIPS WE'RE WALKING.

---

Sorry for the lack of screens, but they're not that exciting. However, STATS;



Nothing exciting here, except Oceania is the baby mermaid who found the epic trident and there are only three of us who have not yet levelled up. Amazing! (Four if you count Konrad, but this is the closest he's ever gotten.)

Gotta go update Blaze of Eternity, but I'll get cracking on Chapter Five (the easier version) straight afterwards.


lord of the rings two towers musingsthoughts gaming related

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Okay, that boat trip sucked. There were no merchants we could raid to try and prop up our failing bank balance.

Then we arrived on the Isle of Alduin (ie Some Shitty Island Old Fartacus Said We Needed To Go To), and guess who else is here?

If you said "Mages" you were wrong. If you said "Orcs who need to learn just how shitty their lives are in the same universe as us", you are absolutely correct.

BUT FIRST

These orcs are highly lazy- the island hasn't even been pillaged! We can't have this! That and we kinda need the money, so the knightlier among us can hardly complain. =\

---

Delfador is already off running to loot the first village. Excellent, we've corrupted him well--



-- Wait, no, he was just looking out for his students. What a guy. Maybe next time. He has successfully convinced Elliot Gale to fight for us, and explained just what a pain mages are to level up. They are completely worth it, though, since their hit rate is always 70% regardless of terrain, which is amazing against bosses (who we are more likely to have 40% hit rates against due to their flipping castles).

Meanwhile, we spend about a day and a half systematically looting everything we can while Konrad The Ginger convinces two more mages, Ghostmember and Dmnt, that looting and pillaging with us is far more fun and profitable than being looted and pillaged by either us or the orc. The chicken's getting the hang of it.

As the second day draws to a close, though, I begin to realise something;



These orcs are hopelessly outnumbered. Also, I stole a shield from one of those villages and made a flag out of an Orc's entrails. Not pictured are legatus, who is just off screen to the right (i think you can see the nose of his horse) and Konrad and his conscripts. The boy may learn something yet. :D

So we storm their castle at the completely fair odds of 4-11 (with leg on board) and then some old mage broski shows up. This is Delfador's oldest pupil blahblahblah.. oh wait, he's telling us that Queen bedivere-sorry, Ashivere is behind all these Orcs.

... WHAT.

Anyway, her latest get rick quick scheme involves using the Mermen as slave labour to mine pearls at The Bay of pearls AKA Infinite Money Beach.

You hear that?

That's the sound of MONEY. I pretty much demand we go and bail the mermen out, which raises a few questions regarding my motivations (duh, I'm the leader of a band of rapists and looters, of course I'm only doing this for the money)

Stats;

  • Elliot has a slight problem. You see that massive Exp requirement? That's because the freebie characters only have room for one trait that isn't forced on them, which makes it harder for me to get a free unit that levels up faster. Meanwhile, Ghostmember and Dmnt didn't even see combat, so I suppose we can begin offsetting this at Infinite Money Beach.
*Ghostmember is an interesting one. With Quick, he can keep up with us more effectively. On the other hand, his HP. He's frail. Very frail, and this problem only gets marginally less prominent.
  • Dmnt is going to be fun. He won't be much of a tank, but at least he's marginally more protected against my epic dickups.
Anyway, in Chapter 4 we save a bunch of mermen for fun and profi- I mean, out of the goodness in our hearts. Absolutely. Of course.

Man, we're a bunch of bastards. =\

glaedr brisingr inheritance musingsthoughts gaming related

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Sorry guys. Comp decided to completely *bleep* itself up when I was writing up Chapter 2, and since I was using Opera for once this was not saved. Bloody hell.

Summary of important points, and then Chapter 3 next post which will be when I play Chapter 3;
  • The knights Dragon, molater and Legatus join our struggle against the forces of Queen Ashera... I mean, Ashivere. Yes.
  • Some Sir Failure and his men try and help us fight some Orcs in the name of their town. This fails, and we have to bail their sorry asses out.
  • We beat the shit out of all the Orcs (and some TROLLS ARGH) with half a day to spare, and then the boat shows up. What the hell, boat.
  • Also; Demonfurry got another sword and Kanon lost a load of her current clothing. These two points may be related, I'm not quite sure yet.
Stats as of the end of Chapter 2;

  • Dragon has more move than the next guy and INTELLIGENT, though he won't quite have the same tanking power as Leg and molater
  • Leg costs us no money to maintain, cheers Loyal.
  • molater will be an absolutely epic tank
  • Demonfurry's attack is now 8-4 at melee. 6-3 at range, but why would I want that outside of TROLLS when I can have 4 shots at 8 damage?

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Seriously. It's a good thing someone with the ability to rewind time (read; I savescum early on) loves the hilarity of us dicking everything up, because dick it up we do.

The first mission is a bit of a pain, because it involves us trying to get past two camps of Orcs who throw lots of TROLLS at us. Trolls are big. Trolls are nasty. Trolls are highly capable of wrecking us if they even get near us at the moment.

HOWEVER

For every camp of goddamn orcs, there are elves trying to help Konrad escape alive. Just him. They're happy to let us, TDWahMB, die deaths. And if it wasn't for time rewinds, we would. Took Kanon getting smashed by a Troll for us to realise OH SHIT WHAT DO I DO.

It's been a fun ride, though. We looted the villages while we could, and helped those natives fight off DA ORKZ a bit.



Pictured; us about to wreck some poor Orc boss (just off screen), now without his Trolls. Naturally, he is shitting himself. TLS is scouting for panties while Konrad runs like a chicken.

Two turns later (10/16), the boss is whittled down to 6 of his 78 HP, thanks to us having lots of bows, which Orcs happen to be fairly shitty against. We'd be better off trying to take him on in the forest, honestly, but he has two brain cells and so that shit does not fly.

Then RAGE. One of our "allies" steals the kill and a ton of exp THAT WE NEEDED YOU BITCH. Rage. Anyway, since there's sod all we can do in five turns, we tell chicken to chicken his way to the signpost in the corner and end chapter. Only 24 left.

Team stats;



I *bleep*ing love this setup. Deathwind has two offensive traits, with 4-3 on bows (basically 12 free damage on a fair amount of stuff at this point if everything hits) as well. Demon will be a beast of a tank when he starts levelling (and he will). TLS has some excellent archery, though at 7-2 he's a bit harder pressed to land hits. Soda and Kanon don't have the the greatest of primary traits (though Soda is slightly better than Kanon in that he can use the HP from Resilience), though I can forgive them because INTELLIGENT. Intelligent reduces the exp needed to level by 20%, which is a flipping godsend early on, and four of the guys have it. Tomato, however, drew the short straw. Strong works better on Fighters and classes that will actually use their melee attacks, though as with Soda Resilient is kinda useful given my luck/ability to screw up.

Lonely Island haters beware; old man Delfador says we're going to some random island next, which means WE'RE ON A BOAT. Also apparently we run into some ROYAL KNIGHTS, which is lovely because we won't be able to pillage anything anymore. This makes me sad, because pillaging and causing mayhem is what we, The Deathwind's Merry Band, do best.

This'll be resolved later. Until then.


dynasty warriors musingsthoughts gaming related

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WARNING: THE CONTENTS OF THIS BLOG POST ARE HIGHLY UNSUITABLE FOR MINORS. I WILL USE THE SPOILER TAGS TO CLOSE OFF THE WORST OF IT BUT FOR THE PURPOSES OF KEEPING THE BAND TRUE TO HOW THEY BEHAVE IN THE FE10 FORUM I CANT EXACTLY MAKE THIS COMPLETELY INOFFENSIVE



... Okay, I'll use 800x600 from now on.

Anyway, this is me trying and failing to play The Battle For Wesnoth, namely the Heir to the Throne campaign. Why "The Deathwind and his Merry Band"? Because the "soldiers" fighting the forces of Dark Lord Whatever will be myself and the lunatics and would-be rapists of the Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn forum. And any blog readers who think "OI DEATHWIND I WANT IN THE GAME".



Our campiagn. 25 levels of... bad guys. Never played it all the way through.

ANYWAY

SCROLLING TEXTS



... Oh, we're not fighting Dark Lord Whatever just yet. Just some Queen. Fail, now we're gonna look like a bunch of sexist lunatics and would be rapists.

So anyway, we're all in the forest, chilling with our elven broskis. Then a load of orcs come after prince Konrad, who we'll probably never let near the fighting because he's just begging to get us killed.



And here is where we start. Ginger kid is Konrad and we're screwed if he dies. Old man is Delfador. He's amazing, but he's hardly ever around. Horse dood is NOT who you think it is. Instead, he is...

- The Lost Soul, famed underwear thief who has managed to get us run out of fifteen different villages so far.

Joining him are the next five members of my faithful Merry Band;

- Me, The Deathwind and the actual main character here.

- Kanon, our healer and the *bleep* of the group. She also has a thing for small children.

- Sodachugger0, an archer of some renown who would like Kanon's skills with small children and drinks a lot of soda.

- Demonfurby to his parents, Demonfurry to everyone else. Has a bit of a temper and hates it when people not in the band call him Demonfurry and only barely puts up with it from us. Starts the barfights.

- tomato13187, the sane one. We have no idea how he got caught up in our trail of lunacy and debauchery, but he's a damn good shot with that bow and has the good sense to act like he doesn't know us when we're on the town.



Anyway, the collective Elves of Some Forest Nobody Gives a Shit About have decided that we're a bit too much of a pain and told us to go fight the orcs. They're boring and don't have enough children to keep Soda and Kanon happy, so we kinda agree. Kanon asks if she can have the baby orcs. I ask her what kind of *bleep*ed up bitch she is, bestiality is Dragon's job.

Next post will have some movements and nerdery in them. In a few, guys. Maybe some pillaging of villages. Honestly, we're probably more of a danger to these Elves than those Orcs over there. =\


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So Facebook's autofeed system is telling me that "The Deathwind has not made any blog posts yet!". As you can clearly see looking back, this is quite frankly a load of crap. So I figured I'd shut Facebook up and put something here.

I don't really know what to say, though. I mean, the whole idea was that I would rant, gripe and moan about things in the media and in everyday life that bugged the hell out of me while I was at a computer with an Internet connection that didn't have Neoseeker blocked. Thing is... life's been pretty cool to me at the moment and I really don't have the heart to put a negative spin on it.

Oh wait, there's 2012. But you've probably heard more than enough about that one by now (spoilers; it's not going to happen). So yeah.

I'll probably give a roundup of all the games I've been playing recently or something in my next post. Mainly because I can. =\

Laters.


musingsthoughts

So guys, I had a brilliant/god-awful (delete as appropriate) idea while sat in bed looking for something to do with my Saturday morning; sharing my views with the masses. I'm leaning god-awful at the moment, but it could work.

OBSTACLE THE FIRST: FACEBOOK CAN'T IMPORT FOR TOFFEE

Solution: Tell myself repeatedly that Facebook sucks and I really only use it because all my friends from school use it. I'dve kept up with Bebo based on this, but Bebo sucked even more. I can only handle so much suck, and most of that is dealing with myself.

Also just means people see my Neoseeker profile. They'd probably think "God, he's such a nerd", but... eh, they probably know that anyway. Hi guys. :3

THE SECOND OBSTACLE: GETTING A TWITTER

Solution: Bite the bullet again and get a damn Twitter. I've already bitten three in joining GameFAQS (though I feel the consecutive bans of my accounts redeems this one), Bebo and Facebook, the Twitter bullet won't hurt. Much.

OBSTACLE NUMBER THREE: REMEMBERING THAT PEOPLE WHO WOULD HOLD MY BLOG AGAINST ME MAY ACTUALLY BE READING IT NOW

Solution: ... Oh, who cares, everyone should know I can be a complete dick if I want to be, my brand of humour should be news to no-one. If it is, then we have a slight problem. Catch up here!

#4: WHAT DO I TALK ABOUT NOW?

Solution: ... Well, what do the masses want me to talk about. <shameless bid for attention> Comment wherever you saw this and can reply to it. I MUST KNOW WHAT FASCINATES PEOPLE SO I CAN RESEARCH IT AND DEAL WITH IT APPROPRIATELY. </shameless bid for attention>

CHARMELEON: THIS COULD GET AWKWARD

Solution: Realise that my life can get pretty awkward anyway and the fusion of my two different social lives is kind of already happening, what with friends from internet forums also invading my Facebook. FORGE ON AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

OBSTACLE VI: I ENJOY THIS TOO MUCH

Solution: Go do something else to get rid of the headline obsession.

Update whenever, everyone.


musingsthoughts

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Oh, hi, Neoseeker, I was just thinking of something to rant about, then I remembered I actually said a pickup line in public on Friday and immediately thought "oh my god, these are such a crap way to get a woman it's not funny".

I can't quite describe them (or the immense shame I felt when I realised what I'd said) in my own words, so I'll just tear a few to shreds from this website and hope that I'm looking at this the right way.

"Is that the sun coming up... or is that just you lighting up my world?"

Cheesey. Yawn.

"Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle."

Uhm, no. Creep.

"Is your last name Gillete cause your the best a man can get."

... You've just met me.

"Do you want to make millions? millions of babies!"

I'd construct an actual response to this, but in no way would I ever endorse picking up a woman for the sole purposes of making babies. Children come from deep and meaningful relationships, not one-night-stands. Actually, scratch all of that, I just wouldn't endorse making babies at all. =\

"Hi, have you got a boyfriend? (if no,) Are you taking applications?"

Once again, Jesus Christ no. While I speak as the man who lives in the friend zone, going for them in the first five seconds? Eww. No.

"My love for you is like the universe...neverending!!"

Also, WHAT THE HELL WE'VE JUST MET.

"Papa bear looked ok, mama bear looked a little better, but mmmm baby bear looks just right!"

... This one reeks of paedophilia. That's all I'll say on the matter.

"That outfit is horrible take it off right now!!!"

because as we all know saying a woman has bad taste is an excellent way to get in her pants

then again if she falls for that she actually does have terrible taste so i suppose this fufils itself

still pretty crap though

"Baby, you are everything I never knew I always wanted"

... Okay?

"If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard."

Eww.

"Hey, your name is sexy, right?"

No, my name is Michael, or optionally Mike.

"Is that top felt? [No] Would you like it to be?"

... You know what? No. Just no. I don't think I can take these anymore. How the bloody hell can any woman worth picking up actually fall for these?

And yes, I am still single, why do you ask?



musingsthoughts

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So you people who pay attention to my mindless rants may remember how a while back (three months next Thursday!) I was making a deal about how I was going to college this year. I started about a week and a half ago, and Jesus Christ it's expensive.

I think the bill so far's about £86 (of my own money for once! D:), with another £15-odd going in tomorrow when I have to stock up on more paper. Add this to my £60-odd student deposit and the fact I haven't even been told whether I have to pay for textbooks or not, and... yeah. I don't even want to know how much money university's going to cost me/my family. If I even go to uni in the end, considering I could do just as well as an accountant without university and simply clawing my way up in the world via an apprenticeship.

Having said that, though, it's... fun, I suppose. Certainly better than I expected to find it, having taken Maths, Accountancy, Economics and Psychology, with Introduction to Adobe Photoshop as a side qualification.

Yes, that's right, Accountancy. I'm officially the most soulless monster you'll see on this side of the Internet, but it's something someone has to do, and the only thing I really see in my future is a ton of numbers. So yeah. The fact I haven't looked at my Accountancy homework and simply said "OH GOD NO WHAT IS THIS BULLCRAP" is a good start on that path methinks. :3

So, I dunno where I'm going with this. On one hand, college is great. On the other hand, college is being fricking expensive, even before I volunteer myself to be shipped to Kenya over the summer holidays to teach starving African children how to speak English and build their villages for no reason other than it beats sitting on my ass all holiday and it'll look great on my CV.

I'll probably be posting somethimg along the lines of "oh god this sucks i am once again a slave to the education system" in a couple of months. Until then, though, I'm off to deal with some homework.


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(Pic related)


This is where what respect I'd dragged up for myself on Neoseeker goes down the drain.

About two weeks ago, I got Pokemon Platinum, mostly because I really needed a new game to take the edge off of my two months summer this year (Jesus Christ I never knew sitting on my arse without a care in the world could be so damn boring) and I couldn't get hold of either Persona 3 or 4, but also because there's something about taking a cute little creature and making it into an unstoppable "killing" machine I find oddly addictive.

When I got the game, I was expecting the standard fare for the typical third installment of a generation- a few fluffed up bits here and there, a bit of a graphic tweak, but nothing major. Boy, was I wrong. It's not a whole new game, true, but the presses would definitely have been alerted and I'd have known way earlier and actually rushed to buy it instead of thinking "Oh well, it's better than sitting on my arse doing nothing all month". There's about sixty more of the things to see and or catch through the main game (which incidentally means there are far more Pokemon running around Sinnoh that I can use that I actually like now, instead of just using the things long enough to port something up that I enjoyed training in one of the GBA games.

The game is also slightly more difficult now, in the "OH DEAR GOD WHY DID YOU CHANGE LIKE THAT OH GOD WHAT DO I DO" sense , and by generally being highly unfair with anything "random", making it less "random" and more "if it would benefit me it never happens". Eventually though, I got through the main game, after countless uphill fights against overleveled Pokemon I wasn't expecting and a completely sadistic AI/RNG combination out to get me. The fact I was as horribly underleveled as I normally am in Pokemon games probably didn't help my case either. =\

That was 50 hours of my life spent, why am I still going at 70? Oh right, I'm not done yet, they brought round 2 of the Elite 4 back from Fire Red and Leaf Green, a challenge I still am not sufficiently prepared for.

On the plus side, while the whole "slightly doll up the game and rerelease it" is kind of a mugs game, the fact I've gotten 70 fairly enjoyable hours so far out of £32 is pretty good value for money you have to admit. =\


ds musingsthoughts

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wonders why you're here. Tell him.



There, now I've polarized myself to Neoseeker by finding such things funny, I suppose I should make this a blog post and not an advert by giving my two cents on Womens Rights. All joking aside, there's one key thing that pisses me off about womens rights; they want to be on the same level as men, so why the hell are us men still excommunicated if we even so much as raise a fist? That, women, is not equal rights. That is more rights. I wouldn't personally hit a woman unless it was life or death, but then I wouldn't hit another man unless it was life or death. I prefer to use my tongue to solve problems (which considering it's my tongue that gets me into problems is probably a bad idea), so it's not out of chivalry or anything.

I have this problem with racism and black pride as well; they can call each other the N word (Niger with a double G, for anyone who's spent the majority of their lives under a rock) until the cows come home, but the moment a white man uses the N word, he's in shit up to his waist.
Again, this is not equal rights. This is more rights. You get Black Pride crap, but heaven forbid I should dare suggest that we have White Pride. I mean, ffs, we're not even white unless we're deathly ill or have never seen the sun in our lifetimes, we're more creamy-peachy. =\

I would go into homosexuality and gay pride, but I start facepalming the moment people suggest that I'm only insulting someone just because they're gay. Heaven forbid I should call them out on actual problems, oh no, it's all about the fact that he sticks his dick in other men instead of women.1

Political correctness is also a pile of bullshit. We've lasted for at least five thousand years as a species, probably even further back that I'm forgetting, and all without pussyfooting around each other and finding new ways to phrase things to stop offending people. And now we are, and to all of this bullshit I say "F--- You". If I want to call a blackboard a blackboard, I will. If I want to say Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays, I will. Christ on a freaking bike, don;t you people have more important things to complain about than this seemingly massive list of words that offend you and must be banned; we won't be able to say anything if this keeps up. >:\ 2

1DISCLAIMER: I have no problem with gay men. I don't care where you stick your dick, as long as it's in your pants when I'm around. =\

2 And yes, I am a rather intolerant dick, why do you ask?


... I needed to get that out of my system, I'm calm now.


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I don't really know how to put this, being free from school until September, when I go on to college, but I can try. I was going to try and come up with a nice witty title revolving around my username and a tornado in the general vicinity of Southampton, but I think the concept of me being set loose on the world is scary enough without the reminder of my sense of humour.

I suppose I should reflect on the last few years, but that would bring up some rather painful memories concerning my mother, so I won't do that. Besides, it's not like reflecting on the past will change it and magically make it better (nor would I want it to- for better or for worse, everything I've ever done and everything that's ever happened to me has made me me, and I wouldn't change myself for the world), so I should probably look to the future instead. College in September (probably staying local, because I'm a cheapo bastard who's had enough school buses to last a lifetime), which is probably going to be a hell of a job for me to keep up with, but it should be fun, all things considered.

... But what's more important and relevant to my inital promise of the purpose of The Blogwind; me and my bitching! I mean, God, Loungin. Five mods now, do we really need five babysitters? We're not that bad, are we? (Wait, don't answer that, we are that bad.) Although for all I actually see of Underated, it may as well be fou-*banned from Loungin*

I should probably bitch about something more meaningful, though the only thing that comes to mind at the moment is Kim Jong Il being a complete moron who sadly is not actually an evil space cockroach in disguise.

Oh yeah, and happy summer Neoseeker. I'll probably come up with a less vague post soon.


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Sup Neo. I'dve given you a blog recently, but I haven't felt like raging at anything other than myself and I don't care to make this into "Yet Another Emo Teen Blog", so you've had sod all. I'm sorry. I'll try to raeg at something else. Something topical. How about... Valentines Day? You know, that magical day you're supposed to spend with your significant other?

Excuse me while I throw up. Why the hell am I discussing the finer points of a relationship on the Internet, the cesspool of social rejects like me? It's not like we've all got Valentines here, that's why. In theory, I won't have the entirety of Neoseeker saying "lul ur just jellus". I'll have a few of you doing it, sure. But that would imply that I'm actually jealous of you people having emotional ball-and-chains. Yes, I'm a bitter and cynical sod who didn't get enough hugs as a small child, but there's no laws banning bitter and cynical sods who didn't get enough hugs as small children from expressing themselves, so deal with me.

Reason to ban Valentines Day #1: It's another bloody commercial holiday.

Seriously, it's just another excuse to make people spend lots of money. Sure, Christmas is as well, but Christmas had a meaning way back when; the birth of some little dude called Jesus. Valentines Day is about... some Roman pedo with too many love notes, IIRC. What a GRIPPING idea for a holiday- at least Jesus had the Christians worshipping his every move.

Reason to ban Valentines Day #2: You don't need an excuse to tell your partner you love them and to buy them stuff.

No, really. The fact that it's Valentines Day shouldn't automatically compel you to buy stuff. Do something more original than buy her a box of chocolates, a teddy bear and some flowers. Bitches love originality.

Reason to ban Valentines Day #3: It is not fun for all the family.

No, really. Christmas has the whole "family get-together warm-and-fuzzy feeling" thing going for it. Halloween is a good laugh with fancy dress parties. Easter gets the little kiddies two weeks off of school here, perfect for family time. What does Valentines Day give? A forced excuse for couples to spend money. Oh wow.

However, to those people here who are actually in relationships; have fun, be lovey-dovey, and if the celebrations go that far then use a bloody *bleep* for ****s sake. =\





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Michael Hamilton

  • Southampton, Hampshire, England England UK
  • Joined Jun 10, 2006
  • Male
  • 21 years young
  • Little Angry Internet Man
  • Microsoft account m.a.hamilton@live.co.uk

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