Sigma's Life Story


Years ago, in the middle of the universe, a strange event took place. Two giant stars, twice the size of our own sun, collided and formed a double super nova right over a black hole. This explosion created unthinkable amounts of energy, and as soon as it was all released, the black hole sucked it up, and compressed it all into one being; a creature by the name of Shiney_Sneasel.

Shiney_Sneasel, though only a child, had unthinkable amounts of power. After being spit out of the black hole, he crash landed into Earth and instantly demolished the entire Unicorn population, along with the Dinosaurs. He looked around at the destruction he caused, glanced at his hands, and yelled "This... is... AWESOME!". He started destroying things, and he found a bike laying on the ground. He got on it and rode it down the destroyed street that popped up out of nowhere.

After riding a short distance, he got off of his bike and looks at the Ocean that popped up out of nowhere. He saw a Microwave that was on a rock, as well as a whale that was surfaced. "Hi Mr. Whale, whatcha doing?" he asked. The whale meowed at him, so he kicked it and it flew across the ocean. He then took the microwave and opened it up. On the inside, there was a girl by the name of Glameowlover. She got up, and exploded the microwave in the process. Shiney_Sneasel noticed this occur, and he said "You're one of my kind, aren't you?" She proceeded to say, "No, i'm not one of the stupid people." He then said "Kay" and threw a PokéBall at her that he found in his pocket. It spun three times, so he picked it up and continued his journey across the strange place called Earth.

He walked a bit longer and found a random tree in the middle of nowhere. He stared at the tree for about and hour, before hearing some coughing coming from up in the tree. He looked up, only to watch as Ke$ha fell off of one of the highest branches and hit the ground throwing up all over the place. "Uhhhhh gawwddddddd i'm so wasted from all of that partying," she slurred out, and she made a face like she was going to throw up. He watched as she choked up a human being and spit out glitter, then passed out. The boy walked up to SS and said, "hi, i'm Maxman." Maxman then started to disappear, and I quickly took out a PokéBall and caught him, as well. "Ooooh, now I has two Pogeymanz!!!1!11!" SS said. At that second, Lindsay Lohan fell from the tree from a cocaine overdose and hit SS in the hit, knocking him into a deep coma...

Two years later, SS woke up. He released his two friends from their PokéBalls to ask them what happened. He looked at Maxman, cringed, and said, "What happened to you?". Maxman looked up and said, "Well for one thing i'm Symphonic Abyss now. Maxman was a nub. Oh and you're Sigma now. But you're still a nub." He called them back into their PokéBalls and hopped onto a bike that was conveniently lying next to him. He rode it into a cave that was next to him for no apparent reason, and he witnessed something that would scar him for the rest of his life. A unicorn was giving birth right in front of him, and a random 15 year old girl slipped out covered in glitter. She looked at Sigma and said "HAIIII, I'm Midnightwolf, but you can call me Heley. 8333" Sigma said, "Nice to meet you, Midnightwolf! Here, get in this PokéBall." She said "Okies! 833" and captured herself in the Ball. "Cool, I have three friends now," he raved, as he exited the cave. As he walked out, a boy fell from the sky, and landed on the ground. He had "PiKaChU_bOii" written on his face, so Sigma decided he would kidnap him, turn his name into DarkWhisperer, and turn him into a person who uses correct grammar rather than caps. He tried to throw a ball at him, then realized it was a rock. He went into his pocket and took out a REAL PokéBall and finally caught him.

Sigma fell asleep on a giant rock that came up out of the ground where DW landed, and woke up to a strange sound. He looked up to a fissure opening up right in front of him. Since he didn't know what was happening he jumped off of the rock and looked down into the giant crack that opened up. He saw a giant eel rising up from underground, and it had a human on it. He then heard screaming coming from below, "MY NAME IS AMSEY, AND I SHALL TAKE CONTROL OF THE POKéFORUMS, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA". "Lol, dahfuq's a PokéForum," Sigma questioned. The eel looked at Sigma with derpy eyes and "baaaaaaah"ed in his face. Sigma threw a cat at the eel, and it flew from under Amsey and off into the distance violently screwing "Baaaaah". He then took quick action and threw a rock at Amsey before she could do anything. "Hey, what the hell was that for?" she asked in an irritated tone. "I thought it would be funny and it was". He then threw a Master Ball at her so she couldn't escape if she tried. To Be Continued like, tomorrow or something.
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