Yeah so after like what, 5 or 6 years of this bs I'm gonna just build a PC, gotta love the portability of a laptop but I'm not fond of the constant overheating and dinky little PSU and GPU issues. Hhhhhhhhh I'm gonna go so broke.

Numbered because lazy.

1) For some reason I'm on tumblr a ton now, and also using it for art.

2) For some reason I'm on Second Life a ton now, and also using it for content creation.

3) Missing physically being there with a person so *bleep*ing badly that you feel like sheer force of will should be enough to teleport you there sucks.

4) Learning piano at an insanely rapid rate.

5) Starting to get into animation :3

6) Aaaaaaaa I miss talking to you all

7) I got a new laptop and it's a beaaaast <3

other musingsthoughts
Have you ever wanted to physically be there with someone so *bleep*ing badly that you just, asdfghjkloiuytr
Still inactive as hell
No longer inactive as hell

    Bleh, hell of a month. Haven't really talked much about it but now I somewhat need to vent.

    Basically, the past few weeks in a nutshell: Parents' divorce is getting messy, my dad is just losing it or something and acting like a complete ass, I don't even know. He also took most of our money and the state won't do anything about it for a while so we're basically broke for the time being. I'm only on the internet right now because my mom managed to work out some deals with our utilities and such for a lower price due to our situation, but I might not be for long. My dog got horribly sick a couple of days ago and now even though she seems fine, if she gets hyper she has the possibility of just keeling over, apparently. And I failed like my past 3 math tests.
    Even the little things. I made these badass looking Daft Punk headphones, and then about a week later, the jack on it breaks and the audio keeps shifting from one ear to another. Then my Walkman just decided to corrupt it's memory so now for some reason I now only have like 4 usable gigs on my 8 gig Walkman. My laptop keeps doing weird shit, too, I'm pretty sure it has another virus.
    Oh, and I also probably need to get glasses in the next few weeks, my vision is getting kinda bad, mainly in my left eye. *bleep*ing fantastic. Glasses and Braces. As if I wasn't already iffy about self-confidence.

    Fantastic month, right?

    On the upside, I'm finally getting a cell phone, because our family cell phone plan is giving me one free since my dad obviously dropped out of our "family" plan.


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    I have like, the worst case of... I don't know. The opposite of Writer's Block. Rather than the lack of feeling to write and incredible amount of ideas (which I forget quickly :U), which I've had for the past year or so, I now have the opposite. Now I have absolutely no ideas and I feel like if I don't write something in the next week or so, I'll just explode or something. I don't even know.


    While the guy who plays his son crosses a bridge that leads to a bridge to the real world where he later rides a motorcycle across a bridge.

    I thought it was a pretty awesome movie, though. :V
    Best part, of course, was the soundtrack. Daft Punk FTW.


    So it's my boyfriend's birthday on the 20th, which is also the exact day of our 6 month anniversary.
    For my birthday he got me an art commission. I wanted to do the same with the same artist for his birthday. So I messaged this artist like a week before the 20th, she said she'd be fine doing it and stuff. Then she just vanished from existence. She doesn't have the commission info, the reference pictures for the characters, or anything, so I doubt she's drawing.
    But what am I going to do? It's the 19th and the person I was getting his birthday gift from just disappeared off the face of the earth. ._.

feels awesome right now.
feels like shit right now.

Yeah more inactivity. Woo.
Might start being active during the summer, don't really know yet.

Couple things recently. Well, not THAT recently, but, y'know, within like the past 6 months.

Been trying my hand at drawing. I've been kind of learning as I go, going back and forth between digital and traditional. When it's digital, I almost always use Flash, as I just like the interface and line editing features. I have been trying to get into a program called Paint Tool SAI lately, too. Seems like a good program but it also seems to be designed for tablets rather than a wireless mouse and laptop touchpad. I have been looking for tablets, though, and I've found the perfect one I want. A Wacom Cintiq 12Wx. Has a screen, just like what I want, but it's also $999. So... yeah. I don't think I'm going to link my DeviantArt page here though due to my... change in art style over the past year or so. *cough*Furry*cough*.

Also, recently, and by that I mean like today, I've been trying music composition. Not like a good ol' garage band, I mean digital. Drum and Bass, if you will. Can't say I'm good as well, I haven't even tried it yet. I've just been coming up with note ideas while helplessly trying to find a good open-source audio program that lives up to the demo of Acid Pro 7 that I once used at school. Out of boredom I also came up with 4 album names, ~40 song names, and album art for each. Though I can't say they'll be any use until I actually make something, and make it worth uploading.

On another note, a friend of mine bought me Bioshock on Steam :D
And I'm barely two levels in.


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    Sorry I haven't been all too active lately, guys.
    Just been somewhat busy. School and such. Been learning how to model, skin, map, and code for videos games, at the moment my focus is on skinning models for Garrys Mod. Going to more onto Lua coding or Garry's Mod next.

    Mainly I've been on Skype and Steam, I've just completely lost interest in forums for a bit.

    If you wish to contact me, though, here is my Steam and Skype ID.

    Steam: SapphireDragon
    Skype: sappire-dragon

    Yeah, I know, Skype name is spelled wrong. I'm a derp. :I

Currently playing Garry's Mod [Steam]

A few people have asked me about what went on in that cluster*bleep* of a forum I used to help run, so I'm just writing this to have somewhere to link to if someone asks.
Plus I need some writing practice. I haven't written anything large in a bit. That Prototype versus InFamous thing doesn't count, since I actually wrote that over the course of a couple weeks.
Also I just kind of feel like getting this off my chest.

That, and I'm bored.

A few years ago, around 2006, I was constantly playing an online game for PS2 called Ratchet and Clank: UYA. The reason it was so fun was because the online mode was just filled with glitches. You didn't beat people in Deathmatch by showing how good you were with a weapon, you strategically use glitches to your advantage to outsmart the enemy. So it was pretty fun.
On mic-chat I heard someone talking about a site called what had some good glitches for UYA. So later I joined the site.
Turns out the site was a very small, poorly run forum. The admins running it were sort of an odd bunch.
First, you had Agent. He was the founder of the site, but he never really said much. Ash was the guy who was online all the time, and he was the worst of the bunch. He had sort of a cocky, "*bleep* you" attitude about him all the time. He was also just a gigantic douchebag, in the sense that he would compliment you on the job you were doing and then 2 seconds later rip you limb from limb and ruin your entire day. I remember in one particularly bad incident, I made a thread on the 4th of July just telling everyone "Happy Independence Day." Of course he posts and being the giant jerk he is and being not from America, he basically said "*bleep* you and anyone from America" right in the thread. I wrote up a novel of a response telling him off and he just laughed it off and went off to go troll some other users.
Of the other admins, Mobat was pretty much a clone of Ash, especially in the attitude, only he wasn't online as much as Ash. Jag was probably the best admin there. He actually used correct grammar in his posts rather than just typing random garbage like the rest of the admins did. He was the the only one who wasn't a complete jerk-wad there. Oblivion was just like Jag, only barely online. He payed more attention to keeping his PS3 game servers up and running than on a tiny, ill-run forum.
There are some other admins, too, but they didn't really play any large role and kind of left as the years went by.
The community on the site was also horrible. Since it was a forum that was pretty much just about hacking and cheating games, the community wasn't too fantastic. Out of 300 users there was probably only one semi-intelligent one, and he usually didn't stick around to long.
I was promoted to Moderator a few days after joining the site. I found that a bit odd since most sites don't exactly hand out moderator tags just like that.
About a month into moderating the site, which was my first admin or mod related job on the net ever, the site suddenly disappeared. In a few days I came to find out that it was purposely crashed due to an angry admin. Apparently Agent had hacked into Mobat's youtube account, which pissed him off and in retaliation he brought down Agent's site. Then we pretty much all made a new site without Agent.
Nothing really happened much here, except I was promoted to admin after a bit. I'm not surprised, though. Ash was the one handing out promotions and he wasn't exactly picky about who he chose. None of the mods were. I thought this would end up in disaster and a few sites later, since Ash liked making new sites for no god damn reason, it erupted into total chaos.
One time I went to the general discussion forum to find it plastered in gay porn. No thank you. I didn't feel like looking at that image a few hundred times to clear up the posts. So this mod steps in, and in the stupidest move I've ever seen, said, "If you clean up all those posts so I don't have to, I'll get Ash to give you admin." I forgot the mod's name but he certainly wasn't a mod on the nest site. Anyways he got a mod spot and killed the site. Wow, didn't see that one coming.
It got so bad that at one point we actually had more staff than we did members. About 10 admins and 30 or so mods.
Then on the new site, that's when it erupted into chaos. Ash had promoted some absolute dick as an admin. On that site a small little argument, I even remember what it was about, sparked a flame war with me and some member named Alex. The flame war moved into the chatroom on the site, which is on the top of the forum and very easy to see. The new admin saw it. I don't even remember his name. But anyways, he actually sided with Alex. I was outnumbered because the our old admins were offline doing God knows what, so basically it was one admin up against a very persistent, angry troll and his admin pet.
Finally Ash came online and revoked the admin's powers and banned both of them from the site. Of course, being the persistent little bastard he was, Alex used a proxy to get around the ban. Eventually Ash did some mac address ban to something to finally stop him.
Later, again, Ash created a new site for no apparent reason. Of course Alex joined this one again, and was again permanently banned from the site by Ash, but not before he had one last, massive post to throw on the forums as a shot at me.
The thing about Alex, though, was he was smart. He wasn't one of those trolls that came online and yelled random shit at you in a flame war and then immediately offline when things went bad for him. Alex actually had intelligent but burning retaliations to anything you threw at him.

So finally, we made it to the last site. After all this crap plus a few useless sites in between, multiple site name changes, and corrupted staff, we made it to this one site and I finally quit, in January 2010. I could be one of those people to say "Oh it was a good experience" but it wasn't. it gave me experience about admin-work but it in itself wasn't a good experience. The only reason I stuck with it for so long was because for some reason I hoped things would get better. But they didn't.

I guess the moral of this story, if there is one, is to pick your staff wisely. Jag and Oblivion made a great team, but for Mobat, Agent, and Ash it was a constant battle.

Going back in time a little bit, in October 2009, I bought a game called Team Fortress 2 and I was playing it constantly. Around December 2009 I found a server that I liked and I started playing with on that one the most. One of the admins on the server I know before he was promoted and I eventually became friends with the other admins. After a while I was also promoted.
Being Admin on a server was so much better than being admin on a forum. I dunno why, just the entire thing was so much better. So much funner. With the forum it was like "Let's log in today and see who started a flame war with who," and it was very slow and boring. With the server it was so much more upbeat, and, again, fun. Running the forum was never actually "Fun".

A month ago, though, I heard the server I helped run was going to be taken down. I'm not that sad about it, though, because the reasons for it are great. Evil-Dragon, the owner, now has a child on the way with his wife, and he needs to save money for his new family. So congrats to him. ^^

Now without any current admin job I'm trying to find a new server to admin. It's actually kind of boring now to not have a server to go to and have everyone greet you the second you come online. I guess I like it because the players sort of look up to you, especially on a large server with a lot of players.


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Kylie -

  • CA US
  • Joined Oct 21, 2007
  • Female
  • 19 years young
  • private
  • Dog Caretaker
  • Skype sappire-dragon


  • Profile views 15,364
  • Number of logins 16,899
  • Forum Posts 7,893
  • Neopoints 145
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