I could be adding stuff to my neohome soon......... But for now i introduce my infamous custom missions for GTA3 including spanking celebrity Britney Spears, killing Osama bin Laden and stopping the secret 12 Patriots from destroying Liberty City with a H-Bomb

Here are some missions i thought of:

MISSION 1: Spank Britney Spears

+++Get to the Payphone in Red Light District+++

"Yo kid, i got a mission for you, i hears that Britney is playing with my banana cannon and i dont like that so this is what ya gotta do. Get a fast car, likely the infernus, form the garage in Vale as those are put with hydrolics.and jump on 10 bag ladies with the car throughout Staunton Island. One of them has gotta be Britney Spears with my Banana Cannon in the bag. Dont let the cops after you or you gotta loose them. No cheating or i make you wash my car, capeesh."


Instructions: 1.Get a fast car from the Import/Export Garage in Shoreside Vale(must be from here)

2.Pick a fast car and do the Better Handling Cheat (R1 L1 R2 L1 Left R1 R1 Triangle)

3.Get to Shoreside Vale and jump on 10 bag ladies

4.Now get back to the Police Department in Shoreside Vale and get rid of your wanted level

Reward 200,000 (do the money cheat R2 R2 L1 L1 Left Down Right Up Left Down Right Up)

"Great Kid, now get yourself an icecream"

MISSION 2: Osama attack!

+++Recieved a message on the Pager+++

---"Hey kid, Liberty City has turned into a war zone and its no thanks to that fag Bin Laden. He's brainwashed all the citizens into starting a "Holy War" and now the whole city has turned into A LC Survivor show. We have noticed that Bin Laden and his thugs have been running the taxi company in our city so with all the high fares, its no wonder he could have afforded a Mind Control Machine. You must go steal a Maibatsu Monstrosity ( must be a blue Landstalker) and color it blue at the Pay'n'Spray Shop. Now I have given you these pills that will make you go faster than a infernus. This will help you dodge the peds attacks. Now find a Taxi and kick the driver out. Now you must do this and only this: When he's out, run him over but make it so that he must die "Zombie Style" (standing dead) or he will disappear if you kill him normally. After that all the Al'Qaeda will think a Maibatsu killed Osama so you must get rid of the landstalker. But dont, i want you to find and destroy 3 taxi's by raming them or drive by while the army comes after you. Each of these taxi's will have the 3 Elite Taliban leaders. After that you must steal the armies tank and drive it to your hideout. Good Luck"



1.Do the Pedestrians All Hate You Cheat (Down Up Left Up X R1 R2 L1 L2) and Crazy Pedestrians Cheat (R2 R1 Triangle X L2 L1 Up Down)

2.Find a Landstalker and paint it blue

3.Do faster gameplay cheat twice (Triangle Up Right Down Square L1 L2)

4.Find a Taxi and throw driver out

5.Run him over so he stands up dead, if he dies normaly find another taxi driver

6.Do the wanted level 3 times R2 R2 L1 R2 Left Right Left Right Left Right

7.Destroy 3 taxi's while army comes after you

8.Steal a Tank from the army and get to your hideout on any island


$1 Million (Do money cheat five times)

"You killed that #@%$ #%#^#@@ @$#@$!^&^* , you now have full respect from me."

MISSION 3: The Conspiracy

\/\/\/Recieved radio transmition from Nanomachines\/\/\/\/

"Oh sh!t the Patriots are planning to hide their most powerful bomb yet, The 3rd Grade "Cold Fusion Bomb" which is as strong as 1000 Hydrogen Bombs, in Liberty City. But since Donald Love has vanished without a trace but a letter, the Patriots must come by themselves in solo, one by one. This is our biggest chance to capture the people that secretly run the US Government but they are suspicious about the letter that you took from Donald Love's box.

Your mission, firstly is to get to the meeting place in the park in Shoreside Vale, near the basketball court and kill the Agents that are arranging this visit. You must get a Mr. Whoopee and rig it with a bomb from 8balls. When you get to the park, get the Agents to buy icecream (let them walk towards your icecream truck while the music is on) and activate the bomb. Now Run away fast"----END TRANSMITION



1.Get an ice cream truck 'Mr Whoopee' and rig it with a bomb from 8ball's

2.Get to the park and get 5 people near the car, activate the bomb, then the icecream truck will blow up so run away fast

\/\/\/\Recieving transmition\/\/\/

"GET OUTTA THERE!!! The Army is comming after you so run, run, run. Get rid of the Army fast, come to the Army Surplus in Staunton Island (near the stadium) and get the barracks OL, this will make the army believe you are a part of them so they will leave. No lowering cheat or the Patriots will activate the bomb and will Destroy the World. Our Agent mission failed, the Patriots are on their way and have arrived in the City. Your mission now is to kill all 12 Patriots. I will give you the list, kill them one by one in any way possible but you must do it in stealth, that means NO WANTED LEVEL at all, if you get at least one star, they will come after you and kill you. Knock them out any possible means, sniping, running them over, drive-by, but do it without anyone seeing you do it. Then my Henchmen will come later and bring them too me, so leave that to them. Remember that they are immortal so they cant die, thats why my henchmen will pick them up" ----END TRANSMITTION


List 1.Elton John- Guy in hawaian clothes (usually Portland) 2.Saddam Hussein- Taxi Driver 3.Hideo Kojima- Yakuza henchman(Staunton) 4.Julia Roberts- Red Hair Lady 5.Britney Spears-Bag Lady 6.Bill Gates-Business man 7.Ocelot/Liquid(MGS2)-Old Guy with Hat 8.Russel Crowe-White Thief (in blue cloths) 9.Bill Clinton-YMCA Guy(in blue cloths) 10.Whoopi Goldberg-Black Lady(Portland) 11.Ricki Martin-Yardie Henchmen (after the 11th one, check the message from below)


3.Do the wanted level cheat 3 times to get 6 stars

4.Get to the Army Surplus in Staunton Island and enter the Barracks OL

5.Do the No Wanted Level cheat (R2 R2 L1 R2 Up Down Up Down Up Down)

6.Kill the 11 People on the list above

(Shade below with mouse after you finished the above tasks)

\/\/\Recieving Call from Uknown/\/\/ "Muahahahaha, you fell for it, killing the other 11 members has left me the power to control the US the US Government for myself.*SPOILER* I, Pogo the Monkey, am the 12 Patriot and now the only Patriot left... You have done well, here have a dollar (get a dollar). Hahahahaha...." ----END TRANSMISSION

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