I can't sit here and fully express
What you have and always will mean to me
It's more than I could ever write or say
It would take me an eternity.
The way you loved me as a child,
though we weren't of kin
You taught me to love, and laugh,
and taught me not to sin.
You accepted me as your own
from the beginning; no questions asked
You took on the responsibilty of raising me
It must've been such a difficult task...
I grew older, and you did as well
I never could understand
how deep the love for me was that you felt.
You tried to love my brother
But he pushed you away
He said he'd never love you
He had his own father anyway.
But you never stopped loving him,
you still treated him like your son
He slowly came to accept you
and soon our family became one.
_____________________
The years, they took their toll on you
They made you so thin..
Father, you're so frail..
Why do you drink then?
The liquor and beer became another life for you
I saw you slowly die
We pleaded so much for you to stop
Why didn't you? Why?
Father, I turned 15 today
I saw you and mom fight
She put me in the car and we drove away.
We came back a few hours later
And the image shall be burned in my memory
I gasped as I looked over the dashboard
And saw you hang yourself from the balcony.
My mom shielded my eyes
Your nephew pulled you up from there
I still cant grasp why you did it..
hanging yourself in the air
You managed to survive
Because your nephew found you
when he did
You were barely alive
But I was so happy that you lived.
_____________________
Father I'm 17 now
I miss you more than you know
I know you miss me too,
Ever since I moved in with Sergio.
I barely get to see you
And it really breaks my heart
Mom left to another state
Our little family drifted apart.
But you still called me every day
though sometimes i couldn't get your call
I regret so much not picking up,
Since I now can't hear you at all.
You left me voicemails
Asking how your 'babygirl' is doing today
how you are so proud of me
And you wouldn't have me any other way.
You'd laugh at the end,
tell me you love me and hang up
I wish I would have answered
If I knew how little until your time was up.
____________________
My cousin called me that day
It was weird, since she never does
She cried into the phone
"Meily, your father is up above.
He was at a job, in Jacksonville
And drinking with his friend,
Until he had a heart attack
Bringing his life to an end"
I didn't believe her,
I thought she was playing a cruel joke
Until I called my mom
And she cried; my heart broke.
I couldn't handle the pain
That coursed through my body
I cursed everything, even God
Wondering why he had forsaken me.
My mind went blank,
my face; expressionless
I went into a state of shock
I felt nothing; emotionless.
____________________
Daddy..I'm 19 now
I think of you religiously
I find myself picking up the phone
And calling you accidentally.
I guess I haven't accepted it
I wish you weren't gone
I just want to hear your voice
Singing that silly song
I have no memento of you
No picture, no letter
I only have a few fragments,
and even those make me feel better.
You died too young
46 is barely even old
I guess I never thought
Being middle aged at 23 years old.


RIP Daddy. I miss you and love you

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Pikachu the third

  • Jersey Shore, NJ US
  • Joined Nov 11, 2010
  • Female
  • 22 years young
  • private
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