Paper Fox's Brief History of Games- Vol. 1: Metal Gear Solid 3

I blame the chicken burger.

I'd had a cavity in my back tooth for a while, and after biting into a chicken burger* and feeling the sharp, horrible pain of an exposed nerve, I finally decided to stop stalling and go and see a dentist. One appointment later and I was booked in for dental surgery to have the offending back tooth pulled out, along with all 4 of my wisdom teeth. Once the surgery was completed and the numbness went away and my face no longer resembled a squirrel storing nuts in their puffy little cheek-pockets**, I was left with one week of nothing to do. Up until this point, my gaming life had mainly consisted of arcade fighters and beat-em-ups. I was still very fond of gaming, but I was growing gradually bored of the "mash x to kill bad guy" mechanic that dominated these genres. I wanted something fresh, something new. Then I remembered my boyfriend had been obsessing over this game I had never heard of.
That's when I was introduced to Metal Gear Solid 3.
That's when my whole world was turned upside-down.

Ok, well maybe I'm being a tad over-dramatic, but I really was blown away by this game. Everything about it was foreign to me, but it still sucked me in. It made me wide-eyed and innocent, naive and curious. This game had it all. Naked Snake- a protagonist with a personality, a kind of quiet charm that made me melt. The playful banter between Snake, Sigint and Para-Medic that stuck with me long after I had stopped playing. A story that, to this very day I'm still trying to wrap my head around. And of course, the battle with The End, which is by far the Best Boss Battle Of All Time.

I owe it all to you, chicken burger.


(*) which was delicious, by the way.

(**) sooo freakin adorable.

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One of my biggest fears (third only to wasps and balloons*) is that there will come a point in my lifetime when I will no longer be able to play video games. It's a hobby that has quietly manifested itself over the past few years, to the point where gaming is as important to me as cake is to a fat child**. To know that one day I physically won't be able to play games anymore depresses me, so I've decided to delve deep into my brain-tank and make a record of my favourite games and gaming moments.

Maybe one day I can look back on it all when I'm old and grey and remember those times with fondness. And maybe other people will read what I've written and realise that gaming is a legitimate medium for entertainment; not just for children, not something to be ashamed of liking. Maybe people will realise that video games are just as capable of making people feel joy, sorrow, anger and a million other emotions as books and films can.
  • yes, really.
  • apologies, fatties.


gaming related

My Dearest,
Please do not apologise for the lateness in your last letter, as you are aware I myself have taken too long to reply to you. The reason for my delay is a rather grave one.
My beloved, I have some terrible news. Due to the insufferable weather in this god-forsaken country, I hoped to cool down my person by taking a nice quiet dip in the towns lake. I had submerged myself for no longer than a few minutes when I felt a sharp stinging sensation around my right ankle. Without warning I was dragged under water! I managed to stuggle my way back to the surface and gasp for much needed air, when it happened again! I was thrashing about like a nutter, trying to pry loose whatever had entrapped me. I kicked hard with my free foot and suddenly I was free!
I swam towards the shoreline, but as I came within an inch of safety I was yanked back into the deep water. I was spun around and what I saw, oh my dearest it was the most hideous sight I had ever witnessed! I huge blubbery beast was towering over me! I went to scream but found myself smothered by this monster.
I felt him violate me in the worst manner imaginable. Luckily a passing Inuit saw me in such distress and managed to spear the beast. He dragged me to the safety of a nearby medicine hut.
Oh my dearest! How it is terrifying me to relate this tale back to you! My fingers tremble uncontrollably. But I must go on.
The kind shamans of the medicine hut tended to my many wounds. I later discovered the beast who attacked me was a dugong, also known as the "sodomisers of the sea". My love, I was lucky to escape with my life!
It pains me to tell you that the horrid monster had chewed off half my face, one breast and a quarter of a buttcheek. I am thankfully alive, however the beauty which has so captivated you is surely lost forever.
My dearest, I cannot blame you for wanting to find love with another soul now, for who would want to spend life with a half faced, one titted, quarter buttcheek-less fool. Know this, my love, that my fondness for you will not diminish. I believe I will spend my remaining days isolated from others, living in a ramshackle building made from scabs and dung, weaving baskets from pubic hair.
Forever yours,
One-Titted Fox.

musingsthoughts dugongs

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It all started with an invitation that read:
Halloween Party! Fancy Dress!

I thought it would be absolutely awesome; a fantastic excuse to dress tarty and get away with it. And I really struggled with my costume choices too. What on earth should I dress as? Slutty Ninja? Slutty Scientist? Slutty Zombie? In the end I chose to be a Slutty Bride, complete with veil, bouquet and a tiny white dress. My friend, who would be accompanying me (lets just call her Wartzilla), decided on an “Evil Fairy” costume, although in reality all this meant was her dressing all in black with a clothes hanger taped to her back and a generous amount of glitter everywhere.

So with our costumes complete, off we went for a night of fun and adventure. We arrived at the house and were greeted at the door by a portly ginger haired man, dressed in black pants and brandishing a large plastic axe.
“Hello girls! Good to see someone dressed up!”
“Heeeeeyyyy Rissole!” shouted Wartzilla.
“What do you mean ‘good to see someone dressed up?’” I said.
We walked inside to see our friends- Brown Rice, Astro Man, Mr. Pants, Buddy Ginger, Mumbles, Mumbles’ Girlfriend and LeSpooge sitting in the lounge room watching Pulp Fiction. None of them had dressed up.
I sat down next to Astro Man. “Dude this is your Halloween party, why didn’t you get dressed up?” I asked him.
He looked at me blearily. “It’s Halloween?”

After the movie, and several glasses of booze later, we headed outside. A huge brick wall dominated one side of the yard.
Mr. Pants stood in front of the wall, staring intently at the bricks.
“What’s he doing?” I asked Brown Rice.
“Who knows. He’s an artist.” he replied.
Rissole went up to Mr. Pants. “You should draw something!” he said, and handed Mr. Pants a piece of chalk.
“Where the hell did you get that from?” Mumbles’ Girlfriend asked.
Rissole just shrugged.
“OK…” said Mr. Pants, “…What should I draw?”
“A *bleep*!” screamed Wartzilla.
“Hmm. Alrighty then.”
So Mr. Pants drew his artwork on the brick wall.
When he was done, we all gasped in amazement.
“It’s…incredible” said LeSpooge.
“You even drew hair on the balls, good job man.” said Brown Rice, obviously not concerned that a giant *bleep* was now adorning the wall in his back yard.
“It needs a hat!” I exclaimed.
So Mr. Pants obliged, drawing a jaunty cowboy hat on top of the giant *bleep*.

All of a sudden, Astro Man appeared, his bloodshot eyes squinting at the newly-created mural. He stood quite still, squinting, his mouth hanging slightly open, seemingly confused about the whole thing.
He then widened his eyes. “THIS GIANT *bleep* IS MAKING ME HUNGRY!” he proclaimed. “WE NEED TO GET SOME KEBABS!”.
Everyone agreed to this idea, so we all decided to set off for the nearby kebab stand, except for Wartzilla who had passed out rather ungracefully on the lawn.
Just before we left, I heard my phone ring. I checked the callers name; it was Wimpley, the dreaded Ex.
“Hello?” I answered cautiously.
“Hey Paps? Heeeyyyyyy!” yelled Wimpley. “What are you doing? I’m at an awesome party! There are so many hot chicks here! It’s awesome!”
“Why are you calling me?” I asked rudely.
“Be-because I wanted to see what you were doing! Where are you?”
“I’m with some friends. I gotta go.” I replied quickly, then hung up.
So we set off for Kebab Land. When we arrived, I noticed Wimpley was there.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked him.
“I rang Mumbles. He told me you’d be here!” he said joyfully, then walked towards me with his arms outstretched. “Hug time!”
“Ew, no!” I cried and stepped back.
He continued with his affectionate zombie-shuffle.
Panicking as he stumbled closer, I did the only thing a sensible, adult woman could do when faced with an ex-boyfriend. I slapped him. Hard.

He stoped and looked at me in disbelief. I glared back at him.
The moment was tense. We stood staring at each other, Wimpley with a look of dumb confusion on his face and myself, arms akimbo in my bridal outfit.
Then suddenly, a horrible sound of something wet hitting the ground. “BLEEERRGH!!!”
Wimpley and I turned to see Buddy Ginger, bowed down with his hands on his knees, standing over a puddle of sick. Mumble’s Girlfriend was rubbing his back in a motherly way.
“Alright guys, I think it’s time called it a night” announced LeSpooge. We all hastily agreed and parted ways, walking off into the night.

musingsthoughts paper fox halloween

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My boyfriend and I really love Pokemon. We both play the game (I have Pearl, he has Diamond) a fair bit during the week. We have a lot of fun when we play; I guess you could say it’s our guilty pleasure. We don’t live together, and as such are only really able to trade on weekends, as that is usually the only time I get to see him. When we do get together, we mostly get the urge to trade at night, but we usually have to turn our DSs right down so as not to arouse the suspicion of his parents.

This weekend my boyfriend’s parents went out for a drive, so we were all alone. Finally we could play and trade as loud as we wanted! I was really happy because my Aunt Florence had dropped by on Monday. Aunty Flo is a regular visitor, but I still had to keep her company and as a result I could not play at all during the week.

So having the house to ourselves, we whipped out our DSs and began to play.
I explored his Diamond for a bit, while he had a go on my Pearl. I was really happy to play, almost too happy, because I found myself yelling such comments as “Gimme your Mantyke now! Yeah!” and “Oh I want that huge Wobbuffet!”. My boyfriend was getting equally fanatic, saying that he really wanted his hands on my Jigglypuff, and that he’d take good care of my Squirtle.

I was begging for his shiny Geodude when we heard the front door slam. His parents were back early! We froze mid-game. Had they heard us? We were making such a racket that it would have been impossible for them not to notice.
I immediately felt a sense of shame. His parents would never approve of such an activity like playing Pokemon. What parent would? I know that they have played Scrabble before, but they probably hadn’t had a game in years! I doubt they even remember what it’s like to hit a triple word score.
So my boyfriend and I looked at each other as we silently put away our DSs. We probably wouldn’t be trading there for a while.

musingsthoughts pokemon

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So I just bought Scribblenauts today, and I'm impressed. I played though the first stage and then got too wrapped up in discovering just how many weird creatures I could create. I've already spawned the following:

Abraham Lincoln
Chupacabra
Cthulhu
Roflcopter
Doo Rag
Ceiling Cat
NeoGaf (no Neoseeker, aw)
Medusa
Low Rider
Philosoraptor
Large Hadron Collider
Long Cat
Rick Astley
and (strangely) All Your Base Are Belong To Us

So it's clear that the Scribblenauts guys love their memes, which had me really amused. I'm just incredibly glad "goatse" didn't make the vocabulary.

gaming related scribblenauts

Music:
I'm continuing my girly music obsession with Lisa Mitchell and Regina Spektor this month. Lisa Mitchell's Wonder is such a great album, full of wonderful (heh heh) songs that I can't help but sing along to. "Laughing With" is one of Regina's songs that I've fallen in love with. She has the ability to write some of the most quirky and meaningful lyrics I've ever heard.
At the other end of the spectrum is The Bloody Beetroots and their album Romborama. The music is crazy electro, which has a tendency of getting stuck in your head. "Awesome" and "Warp 1.9" are on high rotation, resulting in me yelling out "WOOP WOOP!" at random intervals.

Games:
I've made it my goal to finish Phoenix Wright: And Justice For All by the weekend. Not that it's a bad game or anything like that, but because I've been playing it sporadically for over a month now and I'm itching to get stuck into The World Ends With You.
I've been playing a lot of Final Fantasy I (PSP) the past few days. Having much more spare time than I'm used to, I've decided to go back and finish the games I abandoned for whatever reason. I stopped playing FFI when Patapon 2 came out, and I just kinda forgot about it, which sucked when I tried to pick up where I left off.
PS2-wise I'm trying my darndest to roll up a million red roses in We Love Katamari. As much fun as the game is, that particular challenge can only be described as tedious. I'm determined to see it finished though.
I've started destroying the Helghast in Killzone 2. Visually the game is orgasmic, easily one of the best looking games out there. Gameplay is not too shabby either. I was thrown a bit when I started playing because I found it to be a lot more hectic than the first Killzone. Still great fun though.

Movies/TV:
Haven't watched a lot of movies this month, just old goodies like Anchorman and X-Men 2. I've been told to watch Zack and Miri Make a Porno (like I even needed convincing) and if I can I'll try to catch Inglourious Basterds while it's still screening.
I've recently discovered a new digital free-to-air channel which screens shows like Terminator and Fringe, so I think I'll be watching a lot more telly now. Plus I saw two eps of Dog the Bounty Hunter today, that show (along with Doctor Who) is a guilty pleasure of mine.
Also scored the DVD of VanDread (which should satisfy my anime needs) and season 3 of Red Vs. Blue (which should satisfy my Caboose needs).

And speaking of Caboose, I'll end my rambling with one of his quotes:
"I don't want to be dead. I want to be alive... or a cowboy."


musingsthoughts caboose caboose woop woop woop woop

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Original text:
Currently my total for this challenge is around 123,000 collected roses. The rate of collection is roughly 10,000 roses per hour, so I estimate that I’ve already dropped just under 12.5 hours into this challenge, but it actually seems like a damn lot more. So, with 877000 roses to go, it will take me a further 88 hours to complete. Will I be able to accomplish this goal by the end of the year? I’m hoping so, but only time will tell.

Translated into Dutch, then back again:
At present my total for this challenge is 123,000 rozen collected around. The tariff of search is roughly speaking 10,000 rozen per hour, so that I already value that I net under 12.5 you in this challenge have decreased, but it seems in fact more as a cursing parties. Thus, with 877000 rozen to will, it will complete me once more 88 hours to take. I this aim at the end of the year am able realise? I hope only the time it will learn this way, but.

musingsthoughts

Momenteel is mijn totaal voor deze uitdaging rond 123.000 verzamelde rozen. Het tarief van inzameling is ruwweg 10.000 rozen per uur, zodat schat ik dat ik reeds net onder 12.5 u in deze uitdaging ben gedaald, maar het schijnt eigenlijk meer als een vloekpartij. Zo, met 877000 rozen om te gaan, zal het me nog eens 88 te voltooien uren nemen. Zal ik dit doel tegen het eind van het jaar kunnen verwezenlijken? Ik hoop slechts de tijd zal het leren zo, maar.

katamari dutch musingsthoughts

Dear Santa,
I know it's only the beginning of September, but I figured this would be the perfect time to let you know what I would like for Christmas, you know, so you can prepare and stuff.
These are the things I would like, if you can only get one of the following then that's ok, im not fussy ^_^

1- A Big Daddy costume.
2- My own Tardis.
3- A Hippogriff.
4- A GPS unit pre-programmed with the voice of either Alan Rickman, David Tennant, Snoop Dogg or Mr. T.
5- A teleporter.

As I have been quite a good girl this past year I find this list to be quite reasonable. I had ordered a Tardis online before, but unfortunately when it arrived it didn't function properly. I know you'll be able to get a hold of one that actually works; I trust you Santa.

Take care,
Paper Fox

musingsthoughts santa tardis mrt

Bogans (sometimes referred to in other regions as Chavs or Trailer-Trash) are peculiar creatures. They are often seen roaming towns and cities drinking “goon” and “bumming smokes”, while listening to artists such as Eminem and 50 Cent. Contrary to popular belief, bogans are in fact not real people, considering the fact that they do not possess souls, and if you look one directly in the eyes you will turn to stone.

Bogans can easily be identified by what they look like and what they sound like, so please use this brief guide to identify any bogans in your vicinity and ensure your safety by staying the hell away from them.

Attire: Flannelette shirts used to be the defining feature of bogan aparrel, however, with the rise of "lumberjack chic" among the classier circles, one must look to other aspects of clothing to determine a persons boganicity. For females, ugg boots in Spring is a must, teamed with short shorts and a hoodie. For males it's Holden Racing Team shirts and faded jeans, or the classic singlet-and-stubbies combo.

Tattoos: In some cultures, the art of tattooing ones skin can be seen as a rite of passage, a link to ones tribal heritage or even a mark of protection. To bogans, however, tatts are just effin sweet. Tramp stamps are popular among bogan females, whereas bogan males can usually be seen sporting the misspelt names of their various offspring (examples include: Taylah, Kodee, Ebbonnie and Brayden)

Vernacular: Bogans are permanently in a bad mood, and this is evident in their speech. F-bombs are dropped with reckless abandon. A typical bogan conversation is as follows:

Bogan 1 (Johnno): Oi Dazza you effin wanker! Where the effin hell did you get to last night ay?
Bogan 2 (Dazza): Oi Johnno, yeah had to go round the effin missus place ay.
Johnno: Ah yeah effin A mate, she preggo again or what ay?
Dazza: You effin know it Johnno, up the effin duff AGAIN.
Johnno: Aha you effin dickhead! You got any smokes?

Hopefully this guide has helped you avoid an unnecessary encounter with someone of the bogan persuasion. If you have read this and realized that in fact, you are a bogan, then I am so sorry, and may God have mercy on your soul. If you had one of course. Which you don’t. Too bad.


musingsthoughts

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Pardon the horrible pun in this blog's title, but I just wanted to share something with you all, something that has given me quite a bit of joy in the past, something which is called...Pocky.
For those of you unfamiliar with this delightful treat, it's basically just a pretzel stick coated in chocolate. But my God how it is delicious.

One can usually devour Pocky so easily, that it comes as a suprise when the packet is finished. It then becomes a case of looking in the cupboards for more Pocky. Then, when no Pocky is found in said cupboards, it often results in the verbal (and sometimes physical) abuse of a nearby flatmate/partner/household pet who is accused of eating the final packet. And then you come home one day and find all your friends and family are already there, waiting for you. They say something about an "intervention" and that you're "only harming yourself", but you barely hear them because the only thing that is on your mind is getting your next Pocky fix. So you run down to the local supermarket and grab hold of that precious Pocky box, take it to the checkout and dig into your pocket for any loose bits of change that may be there. The girl behind the checkout tells you the price is $2.90. You look in your hands to find $2.80 in small change. Damn you monstrous checkout wench! Why must you shatter my dreams into a million pieces? WHY??? And then you notice that literally everyone in the supermarket is staring at you. And that's when you realise that you might just have a problem.

In summary:
Pocky is a very nice snack. 8/10.

pocky awesome musingsthoughts

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Pretty soon I'll be having a lot of spare time on my hands, and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to finally start some of the projects I've been thinking of doing for a while now.
So far my to-do list includes, but is not limited to:

1- Categorising all possible combinations of Rikku's Mix Overdrives in order of item availablility and overall effectiveness.
2- Creating my own Katamari Prince costume (perfect for when I finally complete the "1 milliom roses" challenge)
3- Building a large-scale working replica of a Connect 4 frame.
4- Fully understanding Neon Genesis Evangelion. This may take a while.
5- Learning to sing the entire opening credits to Neon Genesis Evangelion in Japanese.
6- Going to the beach and making a giant *bleep* in the sand (actually why haven't I done this one sooner?)
7- Flying a kite and NOT getting it stuck in a tree.
8- Perfecting the art of "Ghosting"
9- Going a whole day without saying any word beginning with the letter "T".
10- Drinking a glass of milk without throwing up.

Wish me luck!


musingsthoughts

Alright, a pavlova is a famous Aussie dessert and I'm gonna tell you how to make one, so pay attention!
You'll be needing 4 egg whites, 2/3 of a cup of castor sugar, a splash of white vinegar and a bit of vanilla essence.
First off, you have to preheat your oven to 130 degrees Celcius. I don't even know what that is in Farenheit, so don't ask.
Get your egg whites and whisk em up until they form peaks. Add a bit of castor sugar and continue to mix. Keep on adding the sugar in bits until it's all mixed in and dissolved. Add a tablespoon of vinegar and a few drops of the vanilla and fold it in until combined.
Now get out a baking tray lined with baking paper and dollop the mixture onto the tray. Try and keep it in a circular shape, like a cake. Now whack it into the oven for around an hour and a half.
The pav is best eaten with whipped cream and a bit of fruit on top. Just don't go an add sugar to the cream, otherwise the dessert will end up being so sweet that you'll end up developing diabetes and having to have your foot chopped off; remember the saying "Girls Don't Make Passes At Boys Who Have Had Their Foot Chopped Off".
Enjoy! ^_^

musingsthoughts

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Music:
I'm continuing my girly music obsession with Lisa Mitchell and Regina Spektor this month. Lisa Mitchell's Wonder is such a great album, full of wonderful (heh heh) songs that I can't help but sing along to. "Laughing With" is one of Regina's songs that I've fallen in love with. She has the ability to write some of the most quirky and meaningful lyrics I've ever heard.
At the other end of the spectrum is The Bloody Beetroots and their album Romborama. The music is crazy electro, which has a tendency of getting stuck in your head. "Awesome" and "Warp 1.9" are on high rotation, resulting in me yelling out "WOOP WOOP!" at random intervals.

Games:
I've made it my goal to finish Phoenix Wright: And Justice For All by the weekend. Not that it's a bad game or anything like that, but because I've been playing it sporadically for over a month now and I'm itching to get stuck into The World Ends With You.
I've been playing a lot of Final Fantasy I (PSP) the past few days. Having much more spare time than I'm used to, I've decided to go back and finish the games I abandoned for whatever reason. I stopped playing FFI when Patapon 2 came out, and I just kinda forgot about it, which sucked when I tried to pick up where I left off.
PS2-wise I'm trying my darndest to roll up a million red roses in We Love Katamari. As much fun as the game is, that particular challenge can only be described as tedious. I'm determined to see it finished though.
I've started destroying the Helghast in Killzone 2. Visually the game is orgasmic, easily one of the best looking games out there. Gameplay is not too shabby either. I was thrown a bit when I started playing because I found it to be a lot more hectic than the first Killzone. Still great fun though.

Movies/TV:
Haven't watched a lot of movies this month, just old goodies like Anchorman and X-Men 2. I've been told to watch Zack and Miri Make a Porno (like I even needed convincing) and if I can I'll try to catch Inglourious Basterds while it's still screening.
I've recently discovered a new digital free-to-air channel which screens shows like Terminator and Fringe, so I think I'll be watching a lot more telly now. Plus I saw two eps of Dog the Bounty Hunter today, that show (along with Doctor Who) is a guilty pleasure of mine.
Also scored the DVD of VanDread (which should satisfy my anime needs) and season 3 of Red Vs. Blue (which should satisfy my Caboose needs).

And speaking of Caboose, I'll end my rambling with one of his quotes:
"I don't want to be dead. I want to be alive... or a cowboy."


musingsthoughts caboose caboose woop woop woop woop

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Pappington McDeathslash von Bloodkill

  • AU
  • Joined Jan 22, 2008
  • Female
  • 829 years young
  • private
  • Neanderthal
(0.8797/d/web7)