What is this nonsense? 10 years on this site and I can't recognize anything.
is confused with all this new crap.
frowns upon Facebook.
is alive in Nagasaki, running away from the chaos in Tokyo and up North...
likes mountains.
needs some advice.
wants to stay here forever.
wants to stay here forever.
is in Japan now.

Things are looking bright for me... My trek to Japan starts in a few days and I couldn't be happier... and a little frightened. I should learn to be more optimistic about things... I should learn to not be afraid... but with things happening the way they have been, I can't help but be afraid... Finding out things too late, finding out answers too late...

Why can't people tell me as soon as something happens? How am I supposed to fix something months after the fact?

will leave for Japan very soon.
wonders why Neoseeker is like Facebook...

Things are going well for me. I've gotten my visa to head to Japan for two years to study. I've been working 40 hours a week (when I'm not sick or trying to catch up on sleep. I've... not really done anything else this summer. I head back home on the 7th and then I head to Florida on the 11th. I leave America soon after and I'll have moved in by the 20th.

I'm... excited, nervous, anxious, and elated... Pretty much a sea of emotions...


So, I just got off the phone with Eri, and a thought/worry came to my mind. I don't want to put it where she'll see, so I'll type it here in the hopes of hiding it... but, here goes:

What should I do if Eri thought of the happier times with her ex-boyfriend and wondered what could have been? She said that the only reason she thought about it was because she was stressed out about everything. She also said that it made her realize that she loved me as well... because instead of chasing after someone that initially didn't care so much, she has me who does the chasing. =/

Regardless, I can't help but be saddened and a little worried... Under times of stress, inhibitions fade... is she inhibiting her feelings just for me?

I want to trust her that she was only thinking, not acting...

musingsthoughts question

Well, I realize that this is a different community to rant about stuff, so I figure I'll update this more often. My blog's nice, but it's no good when I want to talk about the people that can read it. :shifty:

I've a simple question: Why do language and cultural barriers provide more of a challenge to overcome than anything else in the world? Is it because it's so ingrained into people that they're not willing to change? *sigh* I don't know. I've been trying to go into this with an open mind, but there's something about the culture that's really pissing me off. It's the degree that you hide things about yourself and the degree where you show/hide compassion...

Regardless, regarding some people here at school, I'm getting annoyed by all the walls and masks I deal with daily. I can understand wanting to be civil and can even understand not wanting to cause a fight, but ultimately, getting things out in the open allows for a healing process, does it not? I've been nothing but nice/helpful for these guys because I want their times in America to be amazing, but in the end, I'm just taken advantage of and ultimately pushed aside once they've used me enough... It's not a great feeling, let me tell you.

Also, in terms of the compassion issue, there was a physical incident between me and my roommate that broke out into him pushing me back twice. Regardless of how we acted and what could've been changed, the gossip surrounding the incident has spread throughout the general population and I've been getting stink eyes and 'snarky' comments from people whom weren't even involved. It's absolutely ridiculous. At least see both sides of the incident before you judge, otherwise, don't bloody judge at all, amirite?

*sigh* I don't know, but it's ultimately making things awkward here at school and it's ridiculous. =/

other musingsthoughts

Read more

I'm quite shocked about all of this, but I'm tired and since I'm already here, I figure: Why not just spew and rant about random shit. I doubt it'll be a habit because I've got my own blog already, as aforementioned, but meh.

(Note: Things italicized are the comments that I expect from people.)

So, life's been pretty craptastic. College has been the brunt of it all, what with a shit-ton of projects, focusing on trying to improve a language, and then trying to rack my brain to be somewhat creative for my writing class. I guess I kind of shot myself in the foot for arranging the workload like this, but I wasn't expecting a bloody 135 class to be so much of a hardass class.

You know, 100 level classes are supposed to be generic bullshit classes that you can just review from a textbook, but I happened to get the crazy Greek Strategic International Business Consultant as the professor... He insists that we don't need a textbook, that we can excel in the class by just reviewing his notes and stuff. Doesn't sound half bad. The tests are timed. Around 15 minutes for a week or two's curriculum. Getting harder, but meh. We have to memorize all of the bordering countries of a given country, and the list is usually about 5 or 6 to study from for each test. Hah. Everything that was game for the last test, is game for the next test. Well, what does that bloody mean? That means that I've to review bloody 50/60 pages of notes for a goddamn test. =/

You'd think it'd be done, eh? You'd think, oh well, he's a hardass. Well, you think right, but there's more.

There are three projects we have to do on top of it. Oh, quit whining already. Two of them are group projects, and the third one's a self created project with a computer program I've never used before. Shut up douche. My group's hella busy, so it's really hard to meet up with them; it's really hard to do all the things for these goddamn projects at the same time; and it's really hard to study for the tests. -.-

This, on top of a language course (which ultimately needs more time than any of my other courses), and a creative writing course, is bloody ridiculous.

*sigh* So there's that and then some other minuscule stuff with Eri and friends and worrying about being accepted abroad and all that stuff. =/

[/end rant]

Read more

We have blogs?! What the hell is this bullshit? o3o

I already have a blog. If you've a Xanga and don't mind me ranting about how much I miss Japan/rantings/all my other thoughts and what not. My blog is


But, if you do get curious, shoot me a PM and lemme know you're going to read it. I'm curious about these things. ^.^


Casey ________

  • Minami Asagaya, Japan JP
  • Joined Dec 24, 2002
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