| Product |
Tagline |
Score |
Date |
PC Games | |
| L.A. Noire |
It's not even sure of what it's trying to do |
 5.0 |
Jul 11 11 |
| Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One |
Penny Arcade: The RPG Episode 1 |
 7.6 |
Jul 30 11 |
| Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode Two |
Penny Arcade: The RPG Episode 2 - ELECTRIC BOOGALOO |
 8.0 |
Jul 30 11 |
| Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale |
Lessons in being a capitalist swine, as taught by Japanese people |
 8.4 |
Nov 08 11 |
| Sequence |
Missed a few beats, but got quite a few too new |
 6.5 |
May 17 12 |
| The White Chamber |
Whitechapel |
 8.2 |
Jan 30 12 |
| Titus the Fox |
An exercise in ear sodomy |
 4.0 |
Sep 29 10 |
XBOX 360 Games | |
| Alan Wake |
Wake up and smell the dark eucalypti |
 7.4 |
Jun 19 10 |
| Assassin's Creed |
Assassin's Clockwork new |
 5.6 |
Apr 17 12 |
| Assassin's Creed II |
Assassin's sandbox new |
7.4 |
Apr 21 12 |
| Bionic Commando |
Radiation of the bionic senses |
 8.6 |
Sep 13 10 |
| Blue Dragon |
Always Final Fantasy's shadow |
 4.2 |
Sep 25 10 |
| Castlevania: Lords of Shadow |
Lord of tedious puzzles and awesome combat |
 7.0 |
Mar 23 11 |
| Dante's Inferno |
The divine mediocrity |
5.0 |
Apr 14 11 |
| Enslaved: Odyssey to the West |
This journey is marred by underdeveloped elements and not much backstory |
 6.4 |
Feb 13 11 |
| Final Fantasy XIII |
A mediocre entry in the series with oh so much potential |
 5.4 |
Jun 29 10 |
| Ikaruga |
Hungry for dots |
 9.2 |
Aug 08 10 |
| L.A. Noire |
It's not even sure of what it's trying to do |
5.0 |
Jul 11 11 |
| Monday Night Combat |
Brought to you by the bacon association |
8.6 |
Aug 25 10 |
| Resident Evil 5 |
Dog's dinner for two |
 3.0 |
Jan 23 12 |
| Resonance of Fate |
Tricky to learn; hard to master |
8.6 |
Jun 06 10 |
| Shank |
Sharp and to the point |
7.0 |
Dec 23 10 |
| Sonic the Hedgehog 4 Episode 1 |
At least Sonic's getting back on his feet |
 6.6 |
Dec 23 10 |
| Super Meat Boy |
Nostalgia overload |
8.0 |
Apr 17 11 |
Playstation 2 Games | |
| Resident Evil 4 |
Good because it's not like early Resident Evil |
 7.2 |
Jan 21 12 |
Nintendo 64 Games | |
| Castlevania |
Even the first three dimensional stakes have blunt ends |
 4.6 |
May 08 11 |
Game Boy Color Games | |
| Castlevania: The Adventure |
The exoskeleton of a vampire |
5.0 |
Aug 30 10 |
| Super Mario Land |
Sidescrolling 101, on a smaller scale |
7.0 |
Aug 30 10 |
| Titus the Fox |
An exercise in ear sodomy |
4.0 |
Sep 29 10 |
Nintendo Entertainment System Games | |
| Adventures of Bayou Billy |
Rajun’ for a Cajun? |
 2.5 |
May 05 10 |
| Aussie Rules Footy |
A good 8-bit translation of a great sport |
7.4 |
Nov 02 11 |
| Battletoads |
TOAD RAGE!!! |
 9.0 |
Mar 03 10 |
| Castlevania |
Dawn of the vampire |
8.4 |
Feb 05 10 |
| Castlevania II: Simon's Quest |
This stake may hurt a little |
 4.4 |
Apr 24 10 |
| Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse |
The curse being that this is the best of the NES Castlevania trilogy |
 9.4 |
May 05 10 |
| Contra |
OMG I got onto the second level! It must be the apocalypse! |
9.0 |
Nov 01 08 |
| Disney Adventures in the Magic Kingdom |
Sort of a bemusement park |
6.4 |
Jan 04 10 |
| Disney's Darkwing Duck |
Let's get dangerous! |
8.0 |
Nov 27 09 |
| Double Dragon |
Bastardized console port |
5.0 |
Oct 17 10 |
| Double Dragon II |
Truly a double dragon |
7.6 |
Oct 17 10 |
| Double Dragon III |
Oh no, the super impossible Double Dragon game! Women and children first! |
7.0 |
Nov 27 10 |
| Dragon Warrior |
Age has ravished its once great looks |
 6.2 |
Jun 08 10 |
| Felix the Cat |
Therapeutic at best |
7.4 |
Apr 07 09 |
| Final Fantasy |
Get out of bankruptcy free card |
7.2 |
Feb 24 11 |
| Final Fantasy II (Import) |
Evil experiment in innovation... which doesn't work all too well |
3.0 |
Mar 07 11 |
| Ghosts 'N Goblins |
The devil and his servant – masochistic gameplay |
 5.2 |
Mar 03 10 |
| Ikari Warriors |
Frustration in its purest form |
3.0 |
Mar 29 09 |
| Journey to Silius |
Metal ContraTerminatorSlug Man |
8.6 |
Nov 21 08 |
| Kick Master |
Falcon Kick! |
9.2 |
Jan 23 10 |
| Kid Icarus |
Man, these bosses are a joke! |
7.4 |
Apr 14 11 |
| Metal Storm |
Gravity manipulation was never this good |
9.2 |
Nov 22 08 |
| Mickey Mousecapades |
Capcom and Disney got married and crapped out an average game |
5.2 |
Feb 02 09 |
| Rygar |
Can I please save my progress? |
7.4 |
Jun 06 10 |
| Super Contra |
A fairly lame sequel to a badass Stallone-inspired NES game |
6.6 |
Jul 27 10 |
| Super Mario Bros. |
Sidescrolling 101 |
9.2 |
Dec 12 08 |
| Super Mario Bros. 2 |
The one time tried to forget |
8.6 |
Jan 23 10 |
| Super Mario Bros. 3 |
The epitome of sidescrolling games |
 9.6 |
Nov 01 11 |
| Tale Spin |
Tail spun and destroyed |
 3.5 |
Jun 06 10 |
| Yo! Noid |
NES got the hots? Dominoes! |
8.2 |
Dec 12 08 |
Super Nintendo Entertainment System Games | |
| Axelay |
The very definition of short but sweet |
8.6 |
Aug 27 10 |
| Castlevania: Dracula X |
A hop, skip and trip |
 7.8 |
Jun 06 10 |
| Combatribes |
Too much of a standard beat em up for its time |
5.0 |
Apr 23 11 |
| Contra III: The Alien Wars |
More badass alien slaughtering action, ramped up for the SNES's pleasure |
9.0 |
Mar 19 11 |
| Final Fight |
A port that lacks so much content, it's not funny |
 6.0 |
Aug 08 10 |
| Pilotwings |
Earned its wings with flying colors |
9.0 |
Jul 19 10 |
| Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage |
Venomous difficulty |
7.0 |
Jul 16 10 |
| Sunset Riders |
Contra for certified cowboys |
8.4 |
Jul 25 10 |
| Super Castlevania IV |
Resharpened stake, ready for the next level |
9.0 |
May 06 10 |
| Super Double Dragon |
The double dragon's flame, extinguished |
6.0 |
Dec 02 10 |
SEGA GENESIS Games | |
| Castlevania Bloodlines |
Bloody stake |
8.4 |
Oct 04 10 |
