DedValve blogged
Oct 23, 14 4:38pm

The Legend of Korra is a licensed videogame developed by Platinum and published by Activision of the popular TV series of the same name. It revolves around martial arts and using the elements of water, earth, fire and air to beat the loving crap out of anyone who dare stands in the Avatars way (the master of all 4 elements). Long story short your a girl named Korra who beats up people who usually want to destroy the world. Usually.

Really this could have been yet another awful licensed game that nobody would care about but perhaps the biggest thing to note here is that Platinum, the people behind Bayonetta and Metal Gear Rising developed this game and boy does it show. Being a Platinum game I will keep this review entirely about it’s combat and how it affects and is affected by the rest of the games mechanics and design choices and lightly touch upon the graphics and story.

The graphics are surprisingly good for a low budget game. On the PS3 Korra looks flawless, super clean and the cel shading works really well to give it the look of the show. The environments are a bit flat, low res and lifeless but they really serve as a backdrop to beat enemies in that changes every now and again as to not feel too much of the same. The change of environments is frequent even within chapters and does a great job of it not feeling the same and the last level in particular looks great. It also stays close to the source material which is a plus.

The story is….lol no. Just no. Think of it like a Naruto filler movie. Don’t even accept it into canon as the story has to conform to videogame tropes to progress and in doing so horribly violates the canon that the Avatar series sets up. You don’t need a story, your the avatar. Deal with it. Platinum is never good when it comes to crafting stories but I feel like they are at their worse when they have to conform to an already existing canon. That said I would have liked to have a story with some effort put into it. I hate to use the word lazy when it comes to game design so I’ll say that this reeks of being rushed and was an afterthought. It’s almost as if the game was finished and then they remembered they needed a story.

I tried to keep this review as short as possible as I hate to read long reviews myself but I felt that I also needed to get the major and minor points across at what Korra gets right and what it gets wrong. I apologize if this is too long for some of you but I go into detail on the combat and design choices and how that affects the overall product as I feel these are the most important to this game. There are no story spoilers, not that it matters since the story is pretty much filler and takes a backseat to the gameplay.


Wow, where do I start? The combat is so well done and incredibly satisfying and deep that it singlehandedly saves the game from falling into the pits of terrible. Behind all the flaws lies simple, yet complex combat. Platinum essentially mastered easy to get into but hard to master combat with Bayonetta and every action game after that has felt like it had it’s own style to add to it such as Metal Gear Rising and Vanquish. Korra is no exception.

If your a fan of character action games then you’ll love the combat Korra has to offer when she has all her bending arts. If your a fan of Avatar then you’ll just plain adore the combat. Just like in Devil May Cry 4 or Metal Gear Rising you can switch between the 4 elements on the fly without hassle, charge your moves, use light and heavy moves attached to two buttons and mix and match your combos between the 4 elements. It all comes together beautifully and feels very visceral, a word I don’t use lightly. Once again Platinum has established themselves as top dog when it comes to combat.

As fans of Avatar you should know that each of the 4 elements are inspired by different types of real life martial arts and this makes for beautiful fights in the show. This is no different in the game, Korra plants her feet firmly in the ground and makes mighty punches when earthbending, breakdances and zips around while airbending, aggressively takes control of territory pacing closer to her foes with firebending and makes majestic arm movements when waterbending. Like in Rising she can also parry with a dedicated button the moment an enemy attacks which usually leads to a one hit K.O. and is far more forgiving than Rising and just like Rising before it the bosses practically demand the mastery of this mechanic. The larger window time to parry makes it more manageable but I can see how inexperienced players can still struggle with it. Fortunately you can get by just fine for most of the game without it.

The animations for the most part are flawless, each bending style has a unique role with animations that nearly match the moves Korra makes on the show. The only problem I have to say is that when on the air Korra will at times look weird, especially her feet. Sometimes she looks like she’s even standing on air in between animations. This is especially noticeable with firebending. I’m willing to chalk this up to being a lower budget title and thus not having the ridiculously gorgeous animations of Platinums predecessors. For the most part it is very well done and true to the show. Even switching between the elements when not fighting has Korra change her stances. Little things like hand movements really make the combat shine.


This is perhaps the biggest mishap of the game. Whereas I can always go back and replay the game with all my bending arts unlocked many would rather have better combat on their first playthrough and not have to wait until they beat the game until they can finally let loose with the combat mechanics have to offer. It’s like saying the game only gets really good *after* you beat it, which in this case isn’t too far from the truth.

How you progress in this game is completely broken and flies against how long it takes to actually beat this game. This game averages at 3 hours with many going under that if they are experienced or playing on easy. The short campaign is fine but it clearly wasn’t balanced with this in mind and treated like a typical 8 hour game. Having to unlock all your bending should be done within the first 2 or 3 chapters of the game or you should already start with all bending arts unlocked. You don’t get Airbending until the second to last chapter and you don’t get the Avatar State (temporary hax powerup that basically makes you unstoppable) until immediately before the final boss.

This makes it a real slog to go through the game the first time around especially at the beginning where you have no bending. To make matters worse the game is broken up by 2 minigames, the tournament style pro-bending where you can only use waterbending under specific rules and a temple run style Naga run where you get on your polarbeardog and move left or right for an infuriatingly long amount of time for no reason whatsoever.

The Naga ones are the most intrusive as they show up 3 times throughout an already short game and serve no purpose. You aren’t chasing or running away from anyone, so it feels pointless, it lasts way to long so you lose interest and its incredibly easy to mess up so it becomes infuriating. Oh, and there is no fighting whatsoever. The new director should have been aware that Bayonetta was an almost flawless game with its only flaw being the parts where she doesn’t fight, aka the parts where you don’t play to your games strength.

I can imagine the reason Platinum or Activision (or both) chose to break up the game with these is for diversity but the game is only 3 hours long. You barely have time to experiment from the beginning of the game to the end with all 4 bending arts unlocked, let alone get bored by the very rich and deep combat the game has to offer. So to have severely gimped combat on top of non-combat sections sprinkled throughout the game severely dampens the enjoyment of the campaign.

To add to that, you can also unlock moves either by purchasing them or gaining experience. I don’t see why the game could have given you all bending arts from the start and less moves overall and allowed you to naturally obtain new moves throughout the course of the game. It would have improved the pacing of the campaign tenfold and make more sense in the context of the story.

Combat Scenarios & Enemy Variety

This is another big mishap and perhaps the most damaging one longterm as this affects even repeat playthroughs once you have everything unlocked. The enemy variety itself is one I’m wary to complain about. On one hand this game is clearly low budget, on the other hand I felt that they could have removed the mini-games for even 2 more unique enemies and that would be more than enough.

As it stands these are all the types of enemies (no spoilers):

Equalists (no bending, uses technology)
The Triad (water/earth/fire benders)
Mechas (large tanks with way too much health)
Bunny Spirit (Triad clone without bending)
Flying Spirit
Snake Spirit
4 legged Spirit
Giant 4 legged Spirit
Final Boss

I’m probably missing one or two spirits as the spirits are pretty diverse. Do you want to know when they show up? In the last 2 chapters (outside of the prologue which can’t be replayed). The game has 8 chapters total for reference and half the enemies are only in the last 2 chapters. The variety for a low budget game is there but the problem is how its used. The beginning relies entirely on equalists because Korra has no bending and up until the very end its just a spam of Equalists and boring triads with mechas increasingly being thrown into the ring more and more.

This again ties back to the progression. Had Korra had all her abilities from the start then there wouldn’t be a need for this. They could have properly spaced out enemies in each chapter. Rather than an over reliance on the Equalists we should have gotten a few led by a triad member of 1 type up until we see the 3 triads together. Even at the very end where its mostly spirits I still see equalists and triad members sneak there way in. By that point I was already tired of them 4 chapters ago. There are plenty of spirits with different enough moves to serve as a buffer between the first 3 enemies.

Because of this on repeat playthroughs there are only 1 or 2 chapters that are any fun and only in certain areas of the chapter. Had the game had more interesting scenarios which is usually backed by having a nice variety of enemies, the campaign would have been way more fun. Fortunately the last few chapters have better combat scenarios and provide a proper challenge but I still feel that we were robbed a few extra enemies for the sake of pro-bending and Naga.

Beating the game also unlocks a pro-bending only mode and even in the show pro-bending has been largely forgotten after season 1. It doesn’t make much sense why anyone would go back to that over something like a bloody palace type unlockable from Devil May Cry where its just you, the enemy and a face full of fire in an arena like mode. After all this game is largely about combat, why not have an unlockable that gives you more of that?


This seems to be Eiro Shirahama's first time directing a game and it shows. At the same time this is also an Activision licensed game and we know how Activision can get when it comes to their licenses. Maybe it was Eiro’s lack of experience as a director or Activisions handling of the game or both but the Legend of Korra is a flawed game. Underneath the bad pacing, limited enemies and annoying mini-games lies a combat system that puts many AAA games to shame, as is Platinum tradition. It almost feels as if all the problems Metal Gear Rising suffered have been greatly embellished in Korra and I wish it just had more time in development to rethink some of the design decisions.

If your a fan of Action games or The Legend of Korra and care more about feeling like the Avatar and messing with combos to see how far you can go then there is definitely fun to be had with this game. I know I had fun with it and I’ll keep replaying it from time to time because some times I just wanna say “I’M THE AVATAR AND YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT” and dish out some elements.

If your looking for a good action game with a story that ties itself to the lore of Avatar, has great combat scenarios and an overall solidly paced campaign than I cannot recommend this game.

I hope that the game does well enough to warrant a sequel with Platinum but I also cannot fault anyone who refuses to buy it and call it Platinums lowest quality game yet, because it is. As it stands Korra is for the dedicated few who really love the feel of combat and want to see Korra gracefully “deal with” her opponents.
DedValve blogged
Mar 23, 13 5:36am

Xbox -
Dragons Dogma Dark Arisen
Mass Effect Trilogy (whenever that drops to under $30 used on Amazon since they wrap it up like its new)
Walking Dead Season 2

Playstation -

Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
Infamous collection
3D Dot Heroes
Dark Souls
Uncharted Dual Pack
Uncharted 3
Heavy Rain Directors Cut
The Last of Us
God of War Saga
Splinter Cell Trilogy
Shonen Jump! All Stars

Weegees Mansion
Smash Bros
Pokemon X
Mario & Weegee 4
Bravely Default: Flying Fairy
Legend of Zelda aLttP2


I already have my xbox collection the way I want it with a few more odds and ends and given Microsofts nature of abandoning EVERYTHING I think maybe I'll top it off with a gears 3 (because Judgement is shit)


DedValve blogged
Mar 22, 13 9:37am

Well guys I guess its time for me to admit it. Like most of you I'm....I'm a *bites knuckles while quivering* I'M A FAG.

And since I am one now I better be like the rest of you and by a shitstation 3 :(

See that PS4 over there? No backwards compatibility. *bleep* that PS4 over there then.

I will need the best PS3 bundles at the most affordable price (however I will wait for the PS4 to be released since there will most likely be a PS3 price drop to match)

Games I'm interested in BUYING

Heavy Rain
Any Tales game
Ni No Kuni - Wrath of the white witch
The Last of Us
infamous series
Splinter Cell HD collection
Tomb Raider HD collection
*Uncharted (I only played a little of 2 and 3 and most of 1 but if I can get the entire collection super cheap I'm in)
Shadow of the colossus HD

Not interested in PSABR but will probably rent when the family is over for the lols. Played it on Vita and was sorely disappointed in the mechanics. Totally ignorant to PS+ and their cuh-razy deals but by me getting it I'll drop Xbox Gold (and I still play a lot of multi on my box so not anytime soon)

Also controllers. I DESPISE Playstation controllers, anyway for me to fix this? Does those Xbox to PS3 and vice versa cables still work? And for shooters (like uncharted and TLUS) are there options to shoot using the triggers and not the bumper buttons?

But basically Naughty Dog twisted my arm with the last of us. Damn you Naughty dog now I have to conform to two HD consoles when next gen is right around the goddamn corner.

xbox 360
DedValve blogged
Jan 15, 13 6:58am

Scene 11 - Dante enters the lair of a demon known as Poison to slay her. Poison appears from the ground vomiting intestines all over, enter Dante -

Dante - "Hark! Though must be the final component of the bilious villainy!"
Poison - "Who art though!?"
Dante - "A maid for you to court, aha! I jest! To you I am fair Dante, slayer of demons. An honorable title, you'd suggest?"
Poison - "DANTE!? Bastard son of Sparda and Eva the concubine? BLEAUGUGHGH" Poison vomits profusely narrowly missing Dante. " Though seekest to slay me? Though can't slay me! For a thousand and two hundred years I have drawn breath!"
Dante - "Humorous, seeing as thy countenance begets a creature of twelve-thousand!"
Poison - "A plague upon thee!"
Dante - "A plague upon thee!"

Cue lackluster boss battle.

Man this story trumps previous non canon DMC games.

xbox 360 dmc devil may cry shakespearean plague upon thee
DedValve blogged
Jul 18, 11 7:16pm

The only, ONLY game I'm even remotely interested in buying now is Asura's Wrath from Capcom, and even then I'll buy it used and give all of my money to Gamestop.

Capcom, you can suck my balls. Megaman Universe is cancelled. Megaman isn't in Marvel vs Capcom 3 and now Megaman Legends 3 is cancelled?

*bleep* you Capcom especially after the hype and investment you put into MML3.

Hell I can't even bother with Resident Evil anymore. Not to mention that Revelations is actually Resident Evil 4 with a dead space mod.

Capcom, your dead to me.

musingsthoughts cancelled megaman legends 3 megaman universe resident evil revelations
DedValve blogged
Jun 11, 11 11:01am

5 reasons to hate Capcom:
1-Horrible DRM
2-Disc Locked Content over actual DLC
3-Super,Hyper,Ultra,Awesome Edition
4-A general lack of respect for their customers, outright lying to us, lack of communication

Resident Evil, Devil May Cry, Dino Crisis, Megaman, Marvel vs Capcom, etc. etc. What do all these games have in common? They are...or where all awesome. Capcom was at it's prime back in the day, before this nonsense of an xbox 3980 or whatever and futuristic playstation 3 and whatnot.

I remember forcing myself to finish REmake, trying to outrun that crimson head, or pummeling the shit out of the hulk with Jill valenting in MvsC2, and watching Dante make snappy remarks at his enemy before killing them off in an awesomely stylish fashion.

Capcom what happened? Resident Evil is but a mere shell of it's former self nothing but "HURR DURR SHOOT DA ZOMBIESDRUNK BLACK PEOPLE DERP A HERP!" Marvel vs Capcom 3 was a pathetic attempt, with so many missing modes a limited character roster + 2 of them being "disc locked content" (which capcom has been abusing shamelessly) then their trying to "phase out" megaman from the US thinking that there's nowhere else to go with the blue bomber. Meanwhile awesome games like Viewtiful joe never see the light of day again. And other games get basterdized sequels/prequels case in point, Dino crisis and "DmC".

Capcom you guys are whores. Sell outs. Shameless money horders who put profits way above fans and don't even try to find a balance. You are but a former shell of yourself and it's so sad to see you go. RIP Capcom, maybe next generation you'll redeem yourself or you'll probably just go the alan wake route and make half a game then put the other half as dlc. Except it won't be as awesome as AW.

Have fun ripping off your fans Capcom, one day you won't have a fanbase and I hope you realize before it's too late.

In short: Capcom, you *bleep*ing suck.

EDIT: A full list of why I hate capcom

1) DRM:
Lets say you want to play a single player game? Well you HAVE to be online to play it. Why? Because of Capcoms lousy DRM. Well at least it's impossible for internet shortages to happen, and since when have microsoft or sony ever had extended downtime? OH WAIT. For some reason their DRM is limited to Sony and PC, the 360 doesn't have that shit thank god, i'm guessing Microsoft being so strict finally comes in handy.

Then we have the Mercs 3D which has essentially caused an outrage among fans. Why? You can't delete save data. So that means the game loses re-sell value greatly, impacting the used game market, yet the funny thing is Capcom said that this drm wasn't added to prevent used game sales. So either A) they are lying or
b) they just like to *bleep* with us

2) DLC (Disc locked Content):
Capcom actually develops games with "D"lc in mind. Marvel vs Capcom 3 has jill and shuma gorath both of them $5 each on the disc and their fully playable with some odd tweaks here and there, to put a character in a fighting game it takes MONTHS of planning and preparation to make sure everything works out fine, that means that Jill and Shuma could have been in MvsC3 but capcom purposely left them out to whore out fans. Also RE5 versus, need I explain this?

3) super-ultra-hyper edition:
Okay capcom has always done this, but now it's worst. They now develop their games with the "super" version in mind. SF4 was horrible, unbalanced, had a lack of updates and overall felt very, very empty. A year later Super street fighter 4 comes out and that is the complete game. That is what $F4 should have been. Know MvsC3 is a lazily done, half assed attempt of a game. The roster choice was horrible, even then the roster is small (megaman anyone?) and it hasn't received updates or any dlc despite capcom saying that they would support this game. So what does that mean? Well comic-con is coming up soon, capcom has been entirely quiet about this game, it's probably because at comic-con they'll just announce a super version or whatever.

4) They don't respect/communicate/lie to their customers:
Respect: "Megaman isn't in because he has too many moves!" "Leon isn't in the mercenaries 3D because he's to busy working on ORC! Give the man a break! Also Claire will be in both Mercs 3D and comment"
Or the infamous "I DON'T CARE" (said the producer of the new "DmC" when asked about the concern and criticism over Dante's new look)

Communicate: "we will be supporting MvsC3 heavily after release" *cricket* so far Capcom has outright REFUSED to talk about anything regarding MvsC3. A pr himself said so that they'll tell us when the time is right. As if that wasn't bad enough, when the PSN outtage happened, it glitched up the PS3 version of MvsC3, apparently events could not be unlocked. This has happened ever since PSN went back online, Capcom has yet to respond or do anything on this as PS3 users are left in the dark. There is a chance that events aren't unlocking because Japan has yet to have PSN back online but why doesn't Capcom say something rather than leave their fans in the dark?

Lie: On many occasions. Such as the quote above, supporting MvsC3 never happened.

5) Laziness:

MvsC3 is a hot topic, but that's just because it's their most recent blunders, but even other "higher quality games" has suffered from laziness, RE5 is another great example, 5 years in development, 400 people working on it and the highest budget of all capcom games ever and NOT ONE of the original ideas made it in the final product. Instead all we got was RE4 with co-op, that wouldn't have been bad...if this game came out in 2006 with a tiny budget and 50 people working on it, but other games get more work done in a shorter amount of time than this. ME2 for example was in development shorter than RE5 was and compare that to Mass effect 1. Even L4D2 which was rushed in under a year managed to get more out of it than RE5.

The mercenaries 3D is the most recent one, only characters from RE5/RE4 mercs, minus leon and ada. Only 1 new character, only 3 new alternate costumes (the rest are just reskins or slightly modified) and their pricing it as a full fledged 3DS game ($40). Really Capcom? At least add a couple of new characters, or hell even older new RE4/5 maps, or maybe ada/leon rather than hunk/krauser. Of course they did say that leon could be in as DLC if the fans demanded it (and it would take an idiot to not realize the backlash not adding a main character in this game would be) so they pretty much prepared leon already. Good luck paying $5 extra for what should have been.

Capcom has fallen far. Very, very far. It's like their competing against Activision in a "which one of us can be the biggest douche" contest.

Tune in next week where I jerk off Valve and Bioware at how awesome they are and how others should strive to be more like them (awesome that is).

gaming related capcom games resident evil devil may cry megaman
DedValve blogged
Dec 10, 10 11:07pm







*bleep*. YOU. ITUNES.

musingsthoughts technology
DedValve blogged
Oct 28, 10 2:53am

I sit down in front of my computer and log into to neoseeker.
"NEW DEVIL MAY CRY" I gasp as I click the link, finally Capcom has revealed Devil May Cry 5.
I see the logo. Just "DMC" I saw no 5 anywhere.

...."Well whatever" I said to myself as I scroll down the beautiful post and see a youtube video. "Oh sweet jesus yes!" I say to myself as I unzip my pants and whip out my *bleep* arm, ready to get filled on dante's new epic adventure.

I pressed played.

My *bleep* dies faster than a *bleep* man at the girls locker room.

Honestly what the *bleep* Capcom? Are you serious? Oh hey let's make a new Devil may Cry! LET'S MAKE DANTE *bleep*.

You've got to be kidding me! Why is dante emo, why does he have black hair, why does he look like a pussy and why does this remind me of bayonetta without the weird body?

Whats worse is that this is what capcom thinks america is like. They wanted to be more western and now are making their games in a very western influence, this proves that Capcom and japan thinks that all americans are little *bleep* whiny emo kids.

Capcom - "Look kids Dante is emo! Nobody understands him just like you! He whines and moans about the world and in one ending he slashes his wrists! Isn't that fun!?"
...well okay they are but still! Give me back Dante or gtfo with this shit Capcom. Seriously it was horrible and disgusting to watch that trailer. If this is what it takes to "get da new kkidz 2 paly" then *bleep* that. And *bleep* kids. Go make Chris redfield a skinny emo not Dante >.>

Capcom. Corporate assholes that enjoy pissing us off.

playstation 3 xbox 360
DedValve blogged
Sep 30, 10 11:44pm

We all know why your here


DedValve blogged
Sep 20, 10 1:53am


That game you played on the xbox? It was all apart of your mind. You went psychotic from lack of dino crisis and in a self defense trap your mind created a sequel for you to "play" and gave it reviews and all that other shit that made it seem real. But it's all just fantasy and it DOESN'T EXIST.

You'll find it hard to come to terms with it but you must snap back to reality, CAPCOM HAS NEVER MADE THE 3RD TITLE OF DC. Everything you heard is just utter bullshit and poppycock.


So go get some meds and self heal and see a therapist. Block out any fake memory of DC3 and wait for the proper DC3 to come out.

I accept reality. Dino Crisis 3 was just some sick *bleep*ed up thing my mind created because I like punishing myself. It's the same with all of you.


gaming related
DedValve blogged
Sep 10, 10 11:43pm

5 albums
60+ songs
All of them awesome

Yes. I *bleep*ING WANT IT. I would rock out all day and night if this where ever made and their just to awesome.

*bleep* Greenday.
*bleep* *hides in closet* beatles.
*bleep* RB3.

I mean with songs like Radio/Video, Soldiers Side, I-E-A-I-A-I-O, Vicinity of Obscenety, and so much more all just perfect for rockband. They just have to be in their own Rockband Game.


DedValve blogged
Aug 14, 10 1:45am

Yeah yeah yeah, we all know the story. Don't take shit for granted. Well it really is true and I've been doing a lot of that lately.

As you all know (or should know) I lived in puerto rico where I spent most of my life and just recently decided to move to the US to study. Well anyways looking through the photos of my past life with all of my friends I felt so sad that I'd already left them, and to me it felt as if I barely said goodbye. Like it was all just a vacation and I was going to come back.

I really miss everyone, my family and friends and home and everything. I never realized it'd be this bad and I just can't get all those great times out of my mind. I just wish sometimes I could just pause time and keep things exactly like they where. I was so desperate for change I didn't realize exactly how drastic it would be.

I really miss those good times, but I guess I have to push on and hope that there are even more good times to come. My biggest regret was not doing more, I wish I was more of a lunatic at school. I wish I went out more. I wish I just hanged with my friends more, but it's all behind me and I'm only 18 and still got a loooonnngg ways to go and only new things await me.

Holy shit that sounded corny as's all true. I have my regrets but life is filled with mistakes and regrets and in between....happiness. *Cue sad song*

ripulse pokemon musingsthoughts
DedValve blogged
Aug 8, 10 1:14am

This is my first blog post and it shows my struggle against the ever-raging war for interwebz

May 5th, 2010, 2:45 p.m. - Xbox live was functioning normally everything was well and I was griefing playing L4D2 as normal.

May 6th, 2010, 11:43 a.m. - xbox live isn't working, naturally I panic and try to see what was going on. Apparently my membership runs out. I don't have money for a new membership I begin to panic.

May 6th, 2010, 6:21 p.m. - Hope runs dim, I don't know what to do anymore, my sanctuary, my's all a lie...I can't go on anymore...I don't know how much more I can take.

May 14th, 2010, 7:23 p.m. - I don't know how I managed to make it this far, after several suicide attempts all ending in failure I give up...I don't know what's worse, living life without xbox live, or afterlife...I just don't know anymore

May 18th, 2010, 10:34 a.m. - Ever seen that movie twilight 2? where that bitch begins crying or something at night screaming because edward left her, right before she goes digging in that wolfs pants? Well that's me, I can't sleep, every night I scream. They aren't nightmares anymore, their night terrors. I can't take it. I might end it.

May 19th, 2010, 12:54 p.m. - Finally it's over. IT'S OVER. The xbox live support group calls me and gives me 1 FREE year of gold. I see the light. After calling them again and again and again they finally give it to me...but that bitch confused me and said it was wasn't free...they took money out of my moms credit card....needless to say I won't eat nor drink anything this month but I have xbox live gold. I'm finally free.

--- THE END ----

June 1, 2010, 11:35 a.m. - Everything is great, My life is great. I'm about to move with no money, no hope, or any support. But my xbox is at my side supporting me all the way. I turn it on for some good times.

--- THE REVENGE OF THE INTERWEBZ (and a little gay rodent) ------

June 1, 2010, 11:36 a.m. - HOLY *bleep*ING SHIT WAT DA *bleep* JESUST CHRIST!! That message....that evil message appears again "YOU are not connected to xbox live" WHY GOD WHY!! Is it because I ditched church playing l4d2 killing my teammates? NOOOOO. I check the connection and notice something on my ethernet's broken. A rat ate right through it. I see my life flash before my eyes....I....I....fjlkasjflkd;sjaf;klsdjflskfjlsjfsl;

June 3, 2010, 5:45 p.m. - 345. I've killed 345 of those little shitholes rats. But the one that ate my's still out their...I don't have xbox live so I spend all my time hunting that damned rat. I've already caught it's girlfriend. I haven't killed her...yet....I'm about to show her the pain her boyfriend showed me...I will kill her internet.

June 17, 2010, 4:34 p.m. - I finally killed that rat. It's over...I turn on my xbox...and realize that the cable is still broken...shit. But luckily I got a new cable and will use my laptop as an adapter to get online. I will notify you with the updates tomorrow.

June 18, 2010, 12:00 a.m. - The adapter didn't work. I feel all hope fading. Why...why...does it happen to me? Why can't it be someone else? WHY NOT THOSE *bleep*ING KARDASHIANS!!?? *bleep* THEM. Wait...I'm not even making any sense...I'm losing my mind....I don't know what to do.....

June 24, 2010, 5:42 p.m. - It's all xbox tells me it's okay...I didn't use the bathroom in weeks...but it's tells me if I stay watching the tv without blinking eventually the internet will come back...I have faith...I've been watching this tv for about 2 weeks straight. My dogs are hungry but the bigger one ate the smaller one, so that should do her. The plants are all withered and dry but a storm is coming, so that should work. I'm in my own piss and crap, but it's listen to luv luv xbox long wait for internet.......

July, 14th, 2010 2:35 p.m. - I finally got my wireless adapter! Yes! Thank you God! I promise to go to church once every decade! I plug in the adapter with hope and faith. Ready to play some L4D2 online. I test my connection and see the results.

July 14th, 2010 2:38 p.m. - Here lies the remains of David C. Echevarria.

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