Folks, Id like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we dont know

Im just a regular Joe, with a regular job
Im your average white, suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just aint enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone elses expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?"

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes a real *bleep*ing asshole)

Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe theyre right when they tell me Im wrong

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)

You know what Im gonna do
Im gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And make brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And Im gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when Im done sucking down those greeseball burgers
Im gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then Im gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because weve got the bombs, thats why
2 words, nuclear *bleep*ing weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
and it wont make a lick of difference
Because weve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, hes frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
Were gonna thaw out the duke and hes gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
Thats how pissed off the dukes gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes,
and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey,
and drive down to Texas and say.....

(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
Im an asshole (hes an asshole.what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)


Im an asshole and Im proud of it
Password still needs your password so that password can keep password safe in password's password archive. So please hand over password your password so that password's password archive can grow.
I'm back in power in Iraq! I will exterminate those blasted Americans for what they've done to me! Saddam Hussein shall rule again!!

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help me!! i've got some serious flaming gas!!

need.............batteries......... ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me!!!!!!!!!! i'm dyin'.............................
asdf was here asdf was here asdf was here asdf was here asdf was here asdf was here asdf was here asdf was here asdf was here asdf was here asdf was here asdf was here
Sorry for taking so long--just figured it out meself -.-' ANYWAYS sorry for the lack of coolness but I'm just starting to sign these G-BOOKS...YO!
yo just doin'random signing and decided to sign your g-book. see ya later.
Thank you for signing my g-book ^-^

Though I am sorry if it took me a while to sign back

I was too lazy to make a stamp ^^;

Den-den :3
Here's some stamps for you. I hope you like them.

Hey nice guestbook entry in my thingy with the BK King dude... I got a pretty good laugh outta it!! Well neways, I'll talk to ya later... thanx for signing my guestbook!!

I'M STAMPING YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT DQ MANIAC!! LoL... But really, I am stamping you!!

  • Delivering 100% Stratusfaction:

  • Message: I love oxymorons. Well, 72 pages is a lot. All I have to say....WILL YOU BE THERE WHEN THE BIG DOOR SWINGS OPEN?

    Ponder that, and seeing your stamp makes me want a Whopper.

    Without tomatoes.

    bri - TNE Co-Chairman since July 2004.
  • Hey, saw ur bugerking stamp in other guests books! It totally kicks ass. Sorry, but I don't have a stamp to give you, I am too lazy to make one. Hope to see ur stamp my My G.Book!

    If i saw the burger man I'll take the damn burger. Doin random sigings.

    You've Been...
    Hey hey! Thank you for the warning about Burger King, it saved my life, lol! I guess I'll be seeing you around, bye!

    *~*Emmie Gurl*~*
    Hmm ... what kind of warning was that

    Anyways ... thnx for signing and stamping with the fake "Burger King" on it lawl ...
    Thanks for the random stamp!

    Wow, that's a really nice picture you have in your "Welcome & Instructions" thing!

    Have a great summer! ^^
    Macon is the symbol of peace and freedom on Neoseeker, if you ever get into a flame war and just want to end it, just show the this picture.

    All hail Macon!
    Bozo in blue how sad are you when you don't have a Labatt Blue?

    Hey, this is the second time I've signed your guestbook. And I know you're probably furious because of that...but I needed to stop by and sign you with my brand spankin' new Lindsay Lohan stamp! I know you like her, so I wanted you to be the very first person to get stamped with it.

    Anyways man, sign my mother *bleep*in guestbook back this time you little conniver!


    Thanks for signing my Guestbook! Now i will Sign yours!!

    You've been Stamped by the Starfox Team!

    See you Around!
    Hey just pop in to return ya stamp..I am not sure how you find me but thank for the warning, I'll watch for the burger King..

    See ya around.
    All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. -Edmund Burke