Nov 14, 04 4:14am
Folks, Id like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we dont know

Im just a regular Joe, with a regular job
Im your average white, suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just aint enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone elses expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?"

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes a real *bleep*ing asshole)

Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe theyre right when they tell me Im wrong

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)

You know what Im gonna do
Im gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And make brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And Im gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when Im done sucking down those greeseball burgers
Im gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then Im gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because weve got the bombs, thats why
2 words, nuclear *bleep*ing weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
and it wont make a lick of difference
Because weve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, hes frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
Were gonna thaw out the duke and hes gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
Thats how pissed off the dukes gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes,
and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey,
and drive down to Texas and say.....

(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
Im an asshole (hes an asshole.what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)


Im an asshole and Im proud of it
Green Bastard DQ Maniac
Nov 14, 04 1:14am
Hey ya bastard, hows it goin'? Man, you must have one of the biggest guestbooks on Neoseeker...
crashone DQ Maniac
Nov 12, 04 5:31am
Hey,I see you signed my guestbook.Do I know you from somewhere???....and why did you sign my G-book??? Well,you sign mine and I'll sign yours;) See whatever forums ya go to:laugh:

P.M. me if ya might wanna be neofriends;) See ya around...
CrunkNelly DQ Maniac
Nov 10, 04 7:18am

Relax my Dherty and let the juice work. Yep, its magical stuff. Puttin' it down for St. Louis, under the Arch!
final fantasy master DQ Maniac
Nov 9, 04 11:57pm
This is what i got to say to you...

Keep it loud!! \m/!
Password DQ Maniac
Nov 9, 04 7:52pm
Give password your password so that password can add more passwords to password's password archive.
delete DQ Maniac
Nov 9, 04 7:43pm
Bozo Ze Clown DQ Maniac
Nov 8, 04 9:32pm
I own the Labatt Blue company now, so now I can drink a lifetime supply of free beer!!

Bozo in blue how sad are you when you don't have a Labatt Blue!
Knight of Gold DQ Maniac
Nov 7, 04 10:18pm
This is weekly signing spree!! And know you are in my hit list alredy:D

A┬┤ight then, cya around, have a nice time:)
ChunkyLover55 DQ Maniac
Nov 6, 04 3:13am

Theres my new stamp

Nina Wyndia DQ Maniac
Nov 5, 04 5:27pm
Just here to remind you to drink

Labatt blue!

Labatt blue beer gang FOREVER
Bozo Ze Clown DQ Maniac
Nov 5, 04 4:47pm
Tiili, that's a nice pic of me! For posting my pic, I'll give you a free beer!
Tiili DQ Maniac
Nov 5, 04 4:28pm
So Halloween is over, and I realised that I haven't sign your G-Bookie yet. So in stead:

Matt v1 DQ Maniac
Nov 5, 04 6:47am
hey hows a goin? thanks for signin my guestbook on halloween it made my day and im returning the favor, see ya on the forums again!

Tuscan DQ Maniac
Nov 5, 04 12:07am
Hey sorry, a bit late for Halloween but I'll sign your guestbook anyway as you signed mine .

Cya around
Ever Faith DQ Maniac
Nov 4, 04 6:25am
Yeah, you signed mine, so I'll sign yours. As long as it makes you happy, and isn't wasting my time. Well, enjoy yourself.
Vorpal_Sima Yi DQ Maniac
Nov 4, 04 5:40am
Thanks! Yol!! For your great Halloween Stamp..but...we Aussie sadly dont celebrate Halloween...*Sob*...Maybe we are afraid of Ghost?-Anyways-Enjoy me "WIFE"

Candies, Chocolate....damn...i wish John Howard will decided to have some other than being a Dog-war-lol-Anyways-EAT-EAT-EAT!!
GM89 DQ Maniac
Nov 3, 04 11:47pm
Thanx for stamping my guestbook, i thought i would stamp back and then i realised i don't have one. Thanx for stamping it and cool stamp by the way
Tosuno DQ Maniac
Nov 3, 04 5:38pm
You signed my G-book so I am signing back. Don't have a stamp or anything like that right now but I'll get to it some time
sunnyshine DQ Maniac
Nov 3, 04 6:00am
hello! hey thanks for signing my GB, hope you had a happy halloween as well. since i dun have a halloween stamp, i'll just post up a ff8 banner, since i saw it in ya fav's list


cya round
Bozo Ze Clown DQ Maniac
Nov 2, 04 7:19pm
I like to drink Labatt Blue and so should you!
Eureka DQ Maniac
Nov 2, 04 7:06pm
Hi DQ Maniac! Happy Late Halloween! Thanks for signing my guestbook. I like the stamp.

See ya around.
Chroma DQ Maniac
Nov 2, 04 6:22am
Happies Halloween person-I-Dont know! Thank yas fer signin' me guest book! heres a stamp fer yas!

Happy free candy day!! ^o^
neoseekdude DQ Maniac
Nov 2, 04 6:02am
hey man thanx for signin my guestbook. i dont no y u wrote this before halloween but i really appreciate it. hope u had a good halloween.
JohnnyDamonGirl DQ Maniac
Nov 2, 04 12:51am
DQ Maniac thanks for signing my guestbook I appreciate it your the first person that signed my guestbook.And a late happy halloween to you to I like that picture you sent me.It looks like an animated Kasumi from the DOA titles dreesed up for halloween so thank you again.