Folks, Id like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we dont know

Im just a regular Joe, with a regular job
Im your average white, suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just aint enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone elses expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?"

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes a real *bleep*ing asshole)

Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe theyre right when they tell me Im wrong

Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)

You know what Im gonna do
Im gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And make brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And Im gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when Im done sucking down those greeseball burgers
Im gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then Im gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because weve got the bombs, thats why
2 words, nuclear *bleep*ing weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
and it wont make a lick of difference
Because weve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, hes frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
Were gonna thaw out the duke and hes gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
Thats how pissed off the dukes gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes,
and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey,
and drive down to Texas and say.....

(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
Im an asshole (hes an asshole.what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)


Im an asshole and Im proud of it
Hey ya bastard, hows it goin'? Man, you must have one of the biggest guestbooks on Neoseeker...
Hey,I see you signed my guestbook.Do I know you from somewhere???....and why did you sign my G-book??? Well,you sign mine and I'll sign yours;) See whatever forums ya go to:laugh:

P.M. me if ya might wanna be neofriends;) See ya around...

Relax my Dherty and let the juice work. Yep, its magical stuff. Puttin' it down for St. Louis, under the Arch!
This is what i got to say to you...

Keep it loud!! \m/!
Give password your password so that password can add more passwords to password's password archive.
I own the Labatt Blue company now, so now I can drink a lifetime supply of free beer!!

Bozo in blue how sad are you when you don't have a Labatt Blue!
This is weekly signing spree!! And know you are in my hit list alredy:D

A´ight then, cya around, have a nice time:)

Theres my new stamp

Just here to remind you to drink

Labatt blue!

Labatt blue beer gang FOREVER
Tiili, that's a nice pic of me! For posting my pic, I'll give you a free beer!
So Halloween is over, and I realised that I haven't sign your G-Bookie yet. So in stead:

hey hows a goin? thanks for signin my guestbook on halloween it made my day and im returning the favor, see ya on the forums again!

Hey sorry, a bit late for Halloween but I'll sign your guestbook anyway as you signed mine .

Cya around
Yeah, you signed mine, so I'll sign yours. As long as it makes you happy, and isn't wasting my time. Well, enjoy yourself.
Thanks! Yol!! For your great Halloween Stamp..but...we Aussie sadly dont celebrate Halloween...*Sob*...Maybe we are afraid of Ghost?-Anyways-Enjoy me "WIFE"

Candies, Chocolate....damn...i wish John Howard will decided to have some other than being a Dog-war-lol-Anyways-EAT-EAT-EAT!!
Thanx for stamping my guestbook, i thought i would stamp back and then i realised i don't have one. Thanx for stamping it and cool stamp by the way
You signed my G-book so I am signing back. Don't have a stamp or anything like that right now but I'll get to it some time
hello! hey thanks for signing my GB, hope you had a happy halloween as well. since i dun have a halloween stamp, i'll just post up a ff8 banner, since i saw it in ya fav's list


cya round
I like to drink Labatt Blue and so should you!
Hi DQ Maniac! Happy Late Halloween! Thanks for signing my guestbook. I like the stamp.

See ya around.
Happies Halloween person-I-Dont know! Thank yas fer signin' me guest book! heres a stamp fer yas!

Happy free candy day!! ^o^
hey man thanx for signin my guestbook. i dont no y u wrote this before halloween but i really appreciate it. hope u had a good halloween.
DQ Maniac thanks for signing my guestbook I appreciate it your the first person that signed my guestbook.And a late happy halloween to you to I like that picture you sent me.It looks like an animated Kasumi from the DOA titles dreesed up for halloween so thank you again.