Avidity blogged
Dec 20, 09 8:45am

Some things to ponder about:

Did you ever have someone around that well...stays prominent in your head for the longest time? No matter what you may be doing, regardless if you're even talking or not, you just imagine a happy life with that someone. Yet, deep down you know it's bound to never come true. That your luck isn't that fortunate, or maybe you just don't think you're good enough to even deserve someone like that. But..no matter what the doubt, the thought still lingers on. You may divert yourself or try to push the thought away by being with someone else. regardless, it'll never amount to what the person in your mind is. There's something missing, and there always will be. Eventually it begins to take a toll on you. This special someone you once at the least talked to is well..gone.. and you're stuck with living the lie with someone else. You constantly grit your teeth just to say "love you", and you begin to become very hostile. Of course you can't admit what's wrong. "I'm thinking of someone else in my life." Ok, good luck with that one.

If only you could just admit yourself and the feelings for this person, but you can't cause the doubt is so great. It's a never ending problem you can't seem to get out of, so you just go your way, and they go theirs.

Until some major twist occurs that knocks you flat on your face. Suddenly you feel worthless. Suddenly you have no one at all. But all of a sudden that someone comes back to just light up your world. You begin to feel..alive again and it's all thanks to them. Those feelings that you've experienced before are now back ten times worse, all of a sudden you can't imagine being with anyone else on the planet. But once again your stuck with that doubt, after all, how could such a good friend feel that exact same way?

Until that one special day where you're even higher than cloud 9 comes. You find out that those feelings are in fact, similar to yours. Not only that, but they've been similar for the longest time. That person you just wanted in your arms for the longest time, was the one that needed to be held by you, and only you. Your period of having a "diversion" from her, was in fact her gloomiest moments. why? Cause there was doubt from the other person too. Suddenly you don't feel so different from everyone else around you. All of that hurt from both ends is about to end though. Both of you are the happiest pair alive. That story book like ending is about to come true.

But with every story like ending there's bound to be some conflict along the way. You're not sure how to handle these new feelings. You know you love her, but you're afraid of being broken again. After being the doubtful friend for so long the adjustments are difficult. Plus the other obstacles take a toll on the mind too. There will always be someone who thinks he feels the same, or accuse that yours are false. They basically breathe down your neck until you just collapse in all the stress. Here you are, trying to enjoy some of the best moments in your life, only to have it tried to be consumed by others.

Deep down though, their cold motives aren't nearly close to the warmth in your heart. You know your feelings are true, after all, this is what you've been hiding for the longest time. It wasn't some random encounter, your heart led the way.

Thankfully there is a light at the tunnel, and it's that same light you saw a long time ago when that someone came back. You feel all the conflict wash away with just one kiss and suddenly your ending comes true. No coat or jacket in the world can warm you like her arms do. all those years of doubt are erased. All the fake people in your life are nearly gone. "I love you" is an understatement of what you feel, and they feel the same too.

You can just hope they're there, Forever and Always..

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