Without argument these are the best new Pokemon in X and Y
Hello, Pokemon fans. My name is Rory Young and I am a scientist. That means that the conclusions I make from any research I perform become inarguable fact. That is how science works. It is my gift to players of video games that I turn my eye towards their medium in order to discover the truth behind the truth and make lists of of said truth. Today our focus is on Pokemon X and Y, which will be released on October 12, in order discover which of the new Pokemon is truly the best.
At this point I want to clearly state that in order to conduct my research according to my personal expectation of quality we must discuss every Pokemon in Pokemon X and Y. That means this will potentially include Pokemon that have been confirmed via leaks, but not yet officially through Nintendo. As such, this is my SPOILER WARNING. If you do not want portions of Pokemon X and Pokemon Y's PokeDex then do not continue reading.
Let's start the science.
Best New Pokemon #5: Slurpuff
Previous research into favorite Pokemon types has revealed to me that fans love Pokemon based off of food. Don't get me wrong, I think this thing is ugly as sin, but popularity counts even in science and Slurpuff is by far the most popular of the new Pokemon. Thus, Slurpuff sneaks into our list at #5. You all have terrible, terrible taste in Pokemon. Oh my, was that a pun?
Best New Pokemon #4: Mega Blastoise
There is nothing more significant to gaming culture than guns. Since Mega Blastoise has three guns sticking out of his shell, it's only math to realize that this makes him one of the best Pokemon. If that doesn't make sense, I have to ask whether you play video games at all and why you are reading this article in the first place.
Seriously, who are you? Why are you here? Are you trying to steal my Pokemon research? How dare you.
Best New Pokemon #3: Klekfi
This one time I lost my keys and as I sat on my front porch I saw my life flash in front of my eyes. I nearly died. It's clear to me that a designer at Nintendo similarly shared a near death experience and has decided to immortalize said event with Klekfi. Never has a Pokemon represented such a deep, emotionally trying event. Now everyone knows the truth, and each time you look at Klekfi you must remember the curse of humanity. A man, sitting cold and kind of hungry on his porch, knowing warmth and his laptop are sitting just meters away. If only... if only he had his keys.
Like this if you cry every time.
Best New Pokemon #2: Quilladin
Science has long proven that the most important Pokemon in each game are its starter Pokemon. The next question becomes which of the starter Pokemons' evolutions are the most important? The answer, according to my most recent research, is the middle evolution. Here's why:
Most rare. Considering most Pokemon players either keep their starter in their initial state or fully evolve them, this makes the middle evolution the least played and least cared about, which also makes it the most rare.
Symbolic of the Pokemon's transformative powers. Yes, because the initial form of a Pokemon is the iconic form, while the final form is meant to represent the Pokemon's eventual power, the middle state is intended to represent the transformative powers of the Pokemon. Symbolism. Metaphors. Pokemon.
Worst looking. Middle evolution Pokemon often look stupid as heck.
Since two, for second evolution, is double that of one, representing the first evolution, it is thusly more significant. Three, however, is indivisible by two, and as such is disqualified from acknowledgment.
Using the above science, it only makes sense that Quilladin be recognized as the best of the middle evolutions of the starter Pokemon, which in turn are the best evolutions of said starter Pokemon. Why Quilladin over the other starter Pokemon middle evolutions? Because he is the largest, and so has more of the best than the others.
Thread Recap (last 10 posts from newest to oldest)
Nov 01, 13 at 12:53am
how can you even deny goomy's greatness ;_; plus goodra's like a sp.def MONSTER
definitely my fav from this gen haha
Oct 24, 13 at 5:09pm
Critique of picks(I'll even post my own proposed alternatives):
If this evolves from the Pokemon I think it does, it has a speed stat that is slow as molasses, first of all. While it may have some useful moves, I haven't found its (estimated) precursor to be that good yet. A Pokemon like Nidoking would fit better here, because of its fewer weaknesses(for a dual type Ground type), it's amazing attack diversity and how useful it is against Fairy Pokemon.
#4: Mega Blastoise:
I'll level with you on this one, but not because Mega Blastoise has cannons. It's because Blastoise doesn't have many weaknesses(unlike most Kalos water Pokemon I've encountered, which tend to be dual types) and is a fairly good fighter. But if we're talking water, Lapras is also arguably a better pick with its massive HP, solid other stats and access to Ice attacks without a TM.
I've only fought one, so I don't know much about it, but somehow I doubt a Pokemon like a cursing Snorlax would go down to one Flame Charge from my Talonflame like this guy did. That and cursing Snorlax can become really strong, tough and dangerous if it boosts itself for too long.
Quilladin can be useful if you train it enough, but a Pokemon like Machamp has much better stats and attack diversity, plus it's stronger against more types.
I've fought a few, and I can say that, without a doubt, Haxorus could trample this puddle of pudding underfoot with one Outrage and eat it for dessert.
None of these picks were particularly good, except for Mega Blastoise, that is.
Oct 14, 13 at 10:02pm
O-okay then I don't find any if these Pokemon magical or anything, buuut.....(especially Slurpuff) though I do like Mega Blastoise.
Oct 14, 13 at 9:08am
Going off my own research I have come to a conclusion. Your logic is undeniable.
Oct 13, 13 at 5:46am
You should probably mark these as opinion op. Thanks for wasting my time.
Oct 12, 13 at 12:46pm
One of those times where I know this is just a joke article but I can't help agreeing with a lot of the "facts" to a point.
What is wrong with me, no what is wrong with you bluexy? Good job, I loved it.
Oct 12, 13 at 6:40am
There are 700 total I think.
Oct 12, 13 at 6:35am
How many total pokemon are there for this gen? This includes the Mega Evol
Erm I don't know with mega evo but 70 sithout.
Oct 12, 13 at 2:20am
Must... go... buy it...
Oct 12, 13 at 1:31am
I don't know 'bout Goomy. It looks like a mutated Gulpin and a lot of people that I'm seeing on the internet (Some of yous here, people at dumb ol' Gamefaqs, maybe a few in PokeCommunity) are worshipping it like its a god. I'm not touching that thing unless its a dex filler that I'll be releasing later.
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