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Jun 12, 10 at 4:46pmDitnopota

I like reviewing things. Things are good. They all need reviewed.

P.S. All my reviews from Prototype and before are shit. Fair warning.

My Reviews

Thread Recap (last 10 posts from newest to oldest)

Apr 8, 13 at 2:36pm

Finally got round to finishing up the Mabinogi review (thanks to Insanity Prevails and Lorx for help with a glitch in submitting). I'll put up a link here for it once it goes through.

Oct 25, 12 at 6:13pm

LSD is up. It took a bit longer because I actually enjoyed the game and wanted the review to be good this time.

Oct 5, 12 at 6:12pm

ALRIGHT. I need to get back to this, because I miss it and walkthroughs just would not be my thing. I'm really tired of trying to be uber professional with everything I write though, so I apologize if any of the reviews I submit from here on out are a bit... immature.

That said, my Haunting Ground review is extremely pro and definitely does not talk about breasts a lot. Yep

Oh, and the past few posts where I was like 'I need to get back into this' are stupid. This one's legit.

Jan 12, 12 at 12:44am

Alright, Duke Nukem Forever Review is up. It's definitely not one of my best, but I had fun writing it.

As I said, this is pretty much just a reminder to get back into these. I'll try to write a few better reviews soon.

May 20, 11 at 2:04am

quote Ditnopota
A Slew of Castlevania Coming Your Way
Is that supposed to hurry Gryzor up with all of his Castlevania reviews?

Apr 1, 11 at 6:49am

quote Gryzor
So... what do you reckon?
I just got schooled in paragraphing.

I'll go change it up right now .

Mar 31, 11 at 9:55pm

I'll see what I can do here.

quote How does this look?
Gameplay; one of the few things about Bulletstorm that make it fairy solid game. You see, an emphasized feature of the game are things called 'skillshots'. Skillshots are the unique kills you can perform on your enemies to gain more 'Skillpoints'. Skillpoints are used to buy ammo and upgrades for your weaponry (and leash) in 'Drop Kits'. Drop Kits are shops you come across in almost every other room you enter, which I find to be ridiculously cheap and easy, especially since my first playthrough was on Hard. What is the point of creatively killing your enemies if there's a resupply station around almost every corner? And before you say, "Well, Steve, you need more points to get the upgrades!", I have to call bullshit on that.

The Upgrade system is TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE. There are two things you can upgrade on each weapon (excluding the leash). These things are the Charge Shots and Capacity. The first Charge Shot upgrade is just to unlock Charge Shots, and the next ones are—you guessed it—to upgrade the capacity of your charge shots. That means that both major upgrades in the Drop Kits are for capacity! When I first saw the Drop Kits, I was eager to upgrade my shit, and then I just found out that you can get almost every upgrade before you've gotten halfway through the game. Way to kill replay value there, developers.

The Drop Kits are also used to check your statistics and the unique Skillshots you've unlocked. Pretty much, Drop Kits are a pause screen where you can resupply yourself. I can only hope that Bulletstorm 2 has Drop Kits that aren't absolutely worthless. Other than that, though, the Skillshots are extremely fun to try pulling off. And the satisfaction you get from pulling off a very tough Skillshot is worth playing the game in itself. However, alot of the Skillshots just dissolve into getting headshots or testicle-shots, which is kind of dull (the promos called the game a symphony of blood, whereas it's actually more of a duet where your variety on killing is more limited than you are led to believe).

Another huge problem I had with the game was the lack of extra Skillshots for the actual bosses. Why the hell aren't there extra Skillshots for taking down a main boss with the Bouncer only, or maybe ones for taking no damage in the battles? There's so much more they could've done with the Skillshots, and it just feels a tad half-assed (albeit fun as hell).
So... what do you reckon?

Mar 31, 11 at 5:54pm

Well, I've been contemplating making my paragraphs smaller, but I would end up with two-sentence paragraphs with how I would separate it (which would be far more tacky in my opinion).

Also, Bulletstorm's up.

NOTE: I'll go try to condense my Bulletstorm review down to smaller paragraphs real quick, but it'll probably make it look like shit from my image placement.

Mar 30, 11 at 4:51pm

I've read your past few reviews, and although the choice of words and sentence structure seems pretty good, the lack of paragraphs (as in, when talking about each section of a game, you muddle up a lot of information, making really big paragraphs) makes your reviews look tacky as hell. It was pretty much a chore trying to real through them because your paragraphs are of a ridiculously large size.

Mar 2, 11 at 9:05pm

The 358/2 Days review is up. I admit that it isn't my best one, but it was a hard game to review. I just wish I could've better elaborated on the gameplay, because reading over it again makes me realize how cluttered and rushed that section sounds :/...

NOTE: I was going to do a KHII Review, but I think I'm going to pass because of the amount of bias I have towards 358/2 Days in comparison. I will be doing a review for Etrian Odyssey III after I beat it, and I'll probably get to work on the revisions soon enough.

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