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Jul 19, 08 at 1:31amLukas


Hello all! Mainly just dumping reviews that I type out for all you wonderful people. My main platforms are PS3, PS2 and PC but there'll be some room for other consoles.

Reviews from 2008-current in reverse order:











Rating System:
0 - *bleep* you
Games that are really really *bleep*ing bad get this score. Thankfully, it's only reserved for the likes of Ninjabread Man and Superman 64.

1 - Mi Krop
These games *bleep*ing suck.

2 - Shit
These games are pretty bad, but you know for a fact that there's worse out there.

3 - Bad
Eh, they mean well at least. That... counts for something, right?

4 - Below average
They do more wrong than right, but aren't that offensive.

5 - Average
Like a void of nothing. Just... complete nothingness.

6 - Above average
They do more right then wrong, but aren't really good.

7 - Good
They tend to be good, but they have some screws loose that stop them from being OH MY GOD MUST BUY!!!

8 - Great
Besides some small issues, these tend to kick ass and chew bubblegum.

9 - *bleep*ing excellent
Why the *bleep* haven't you got this already? What are you waiting for, Nintendo to release it?

10 - Better than sex!!!
Just as rare as the *bleep* You rating, this is reserved for the very absolute *bleep*ing best of the best.


There you have it.

Thread Recap (last 10 posts from newest to oldest)

Sep 14, 15 at 9:16pm
Jak


Just read the Darkwatch review and I've got a couple of things I want to bring up, one of which is maybe a bit pedantic and the other which is big.

Firstly, arena shooter? It had a fair amount of big shootouts like the ones you pointed out and a few others here and there, but honestly, it played out more like Halo than Painkiller. The fact that you say it plays out like a poor man's Halo during the small shootouts and non-shootouts kind of baffles me since the entire game plays out like a poor man's Halo.

Secondly, you've worded a few things oddly, if not outright poorly. You say the shooting's weak even though you were gushing over the bigger shootouts. You don't really explain too well why the smaller encounters are worse than the bigger ones besides just the fact that there are less enemies and that their AI is bipolar (the latter isn't true, by the way - sometimes, they do bugger all, but most of the time, they're on you like a hippo on a trespasser). The part about that level when Jericho's exposed to the sun... I mean did you even try? That fifth paragraph needs some serious revision. This isn't Lukas being Lukas; this is just plain shitty writing.



Aug 28, 15 at 4:04am
Lukas


quote Jak
There's probably a few things that aren't structured properly or whatever, but I guess that's to be expected from you though, Lukas.


but nah, thanks guys, really appreciate it. Reading it again, I could see how the second paragraph of the Out Of The Shadows review would be the better intro paragraph. At the same time, I also find that outside of some poor wording, the first paragraph makes for a fine intro.

You know what, rereading that Fairy Fencer F review is surprisingly making it easier for me to tighten up and/or actually write reviews for the games I've been meaning to review for months now. Cheers Jak!

I'll hopefully have something new up soon, don't worry guys!!



May 18, 15 at 10:15pm
Jak


quote Watain
not a fan of the intro of your Out Of The Shadows review. not at all. if anything, the second paragraph would make for a better intro.
Totally agreeing with you there.

As for the Fairy Fencer F review - this is one of the tightest reviews you've written in a while. Definitely an enjoyable read. There's probably a few things that aren't structured properly or whatever, but I guess that's to be expected from you though, Lukas.



Apr 24, 15 at 4:38am
Watain


not a fan of the intro of your Out Of The Shadows review. not at all. if anything, the second paragraph would make for a better intro.



Nov 21, 14 at 11:11pm
Monterey Jack


quote Lukas
they're things that become a problem at first, but the further into the game you get, the less likely you are to really take issue with it. really, the only problem is that the boss fights chew hairy assholes.
d'oh! missed such an obvious point!



Nov 15, 14 at 7:02pm
Lukas


quote Monterey Jack
same sort of thing with the Resident Evil review in that he starts by basically going "oh it's aged well enough" but then goes on about how the tank controls and camera angles haven't aged that well. feels like he rushed that review out or he forgot what he had written or something. and I agree that the score's too high.
they're things that become a problem at first, but the further into the game you get, the less likely you are to really take issue with it. really, the only problem is that the boss fights chew hairy assholes.

quote Watain
on the Resident Evil one, it's good up until that final paragraph, which you could easily condense into a couple of sentences you could attach to the end of the paragraph above it. plus that score just seems a bit high.
condensed and lowered.

quote Watain
and finally... something just seems a bit off in this review compared to what you'd usually write, like you're a lot more mellow than usual. even when you're simply recounting your experience with Resident Evil 1, I get the excitement you had once it clicked for you, or your general apathy of when it did nothing for you. Gargoyle's Quest? I don't know man... you talking about the sidescrolling levels and bosses works well, but the other stuff just sounds less apathetic and more mellow, which I think is a weakness of yours. you're not as good when you're totally mellow as you are when you're able to convey emotion into your writing. I know this sounds like really *bleep*ing pretentious, but it's the best way to put it, really.
like Monterey Jack said, I'm not really seeing the problem. if it's the fact that I'm not raving and ranting, that's mainly because there's nothing to really rave and rant about besides the sidescrolling levels and bosses. everything else besides the sound and graphics were just... there. it's difficult to really give a strong opinion on something mediocre like the overworld segments.



Nov 15, 14 at 5:38am
Monterey Jack


quote Watain
something just seems a bit off in this review compared to what you'd usually write, like you're a lot more mellow than usual. even when you're simply recounting your experience with Resident Evil 1, I get the excitement you had once it clicked for you, or your general apathy of when it did nothing for you. Gargoyle's Quest? I don't know man... you talking about the sidescrolling levels and bosses works well, but the other stuff just sounds less apathetic and more mellow, which I think is a weakness of yours. you're not as good when you're totally mellow as you are when you're able to convey emotion into your writing.
only really seeing this when he talks about the graphics. on the whole though, that's not the problem I'm seeing - what I am seeing are a few sentences that make like no sense whatsoever. just seems like Lukas forgot to read the review over to make sure it makes sense.

same sort of thing with the Resident Evil review in that he starts by basically going "oh it's aged well enough" but then goes on about how the tank controls and camera angles haven't aged that well. feels like he rushed that review out or he forgot what he had written or something. and I agree that the score's too high.

hate to be that guy but they're not your best mate.



Nov 05, 14 at 5:27am
Watain


just read your last two reviews.

on the Resident Evil one, it's good up until that final paragraph, which you could easily condense into a couple of sentences you could attach to the end of the paragraph above it. plus that score just seems a bit high.

as for the Gargoyle's Quest one, it's good, but again, score's a bit too high. this part also makes no sense:

quote
Ditto for the world map – it's like they wanted to have experience points and sidequests, but they couldn't fit them in or Nintendo were rushing them to finish it up. But it's like half finished as not only is it there, but you also get random encounters that earn you like 2 vials a piece (meaningless compared to finding a ton and a half in the dungeons AND you keep them even after losing all of your lives), you find one upgrade near a town and there's a secret passage to the fourth dungeon.
and finally... something just seems a bit off in this review compared to what you'd usually write, like you're a lot more mellow than usual. even when you're simply recounting your experience with Resident Evil 1, I get the excitement you had once it clicked for you, or your general apathy of when it did nothing for you. Gargoyle's Quest? I don't know man... you talking about the sidescrolling levels and bosses works well, but the other stuff just sounds less apathetic and more mellow, which I think is a weakness of yours. you're not as good when you're totally mellow as you are when you're able to convey emotion into your writing. I know this sounds like really *bleep*ing pretentious, but it's the best way to put it, really.



Sep 25, 14 at 9:16pm
Lukas


quote Watain
is it just me, or does it sort of seem like you lost sight of your original point of it being confused as you go on in the review?
maybe I didn't articulate enough that it tries to make the visual novel stuff bigger than what it really is, like it tries to be a big deal when it's really just a distraction or part of the whole "teenagers with teenage issues live a normal life by day and slay demons by night" thing. Persona 4, at least based on a Lets Play I watched (back when I watched those videos), was a step in the right direction as it added to the overall theme and thus I thought it kind of deserved to have the amount of importance it had, though I guess I should actually play that one day. Persona 3's was literally an entertaining distraction.

quote Watain
not to mention that you kind of glossed over the major theme - I mean, you talked about it a bit with the characters, but not enough I feel. what about the fact that they have to "shoot" themselves in the head to summon their Personas?
I don't know man, I feel like I've explained enough. unless you mean some of the religious overtones in the second half of the game? I'll try and fit that into the rest of the review somehow.

quote Watain
also, why the original version and not FES?
that's the version I played matey. but nah, I guess you want me to add in at the end "go get FES that version's got more cool shit"??



Sep 25, 14 at 9:18am
Watain


^ lol

Lukas, I just read your Persona 3 review - is it just me, or does it sort of seem like you lost sight of your original point of it being confused as you go on in the review? you certainly get into why it's uneven and how there's heaps of cool shit, but confused? not to mention that you kind of glossed over the major theme - I mean, you talked about it a bit with the characters, but not enough I feel. what about the fact that they have to "shoot" themselves in the head to summon their Personas? the rest of the review is excellent, which is why I'm even more annoyed by what it's missing.

also, why the original version and not FES?



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