quote YOU KNOW YOU ARE A FILIPINO IF...

YOU KNOW YOU ARE FILIPINO IF...

1. You want to be a dancer, a singer, or an actor, even though you
have a day job as a nurse, a security guard, or an accountant.
2. A member of your family back home is a politician or a movie star.
3. You're not afraid of black people; in fact, you wish you were
black.4. You don't care if you are superior to all other Asians or not,
because being Filipino is just cool in itself.

>2. You want to marry a Korean America or Chinese American >woman (males);

At least, this cannot be.

Wait a minute...

"YOU KNOW YOU ARE CHINESE IF...

1. You think you're the smartest people in the world.
2. You have a pager and cellular phone with you at all times.
3. Today's steamed rice is tomorrow's fried rice.
4. You're afraid of black people.
5. You know you are superior to all other Asians."

I'm not smart, I don't have a pager, I don't eat fried rice, I'm not afraid of black people, and I don't think I'm superior than (grammar) all the (grammar) other Asians.

You're know you're a Filipino if:
1. You own whitening products (Specially the papaya soap)
2. Know a lot of Korean/Chinese/Mexican soap operas
3. And yep you want to be cool as the African-American rappers
4. You work for an American call center and insist using English though you're already out of the office.
5. You dye your hair (And its not pretty but still you insist it doesn't)
6. You listen to the F4, Rain, etc. with your eyes closed (And you have no idea what the hell they're singing about)
7. You're idea of a rock song to sing in a concert are songs that "growls" (and you think people are crazy about it.)
8. You traced that one of your ancestors were American/Italian/Spanish/Chinese/etc. and you're so danged annoying about it (Oh, I'm half Filipino-half blah-blah-blah!)
9. You love the flee market (Go ukay-ukay!)
10. You adore love songs and rice!

quote warrchylde

You're know you're a Filipino if:
6. You listen to the F4, Rain, etc. with your eyes closed (And you have no idea what the hell they're singing about)
8. You traced that one of your ancestors were American/Italian/Spanish/Chinese/etc. and you're so danged annoying about it (Oh, I'm half Filipino-half blah-blah-blah!)
10. You adore love songs and rice!

All of those apply to me!

You Know You're Filipino When...
1) Your mother mixes up the words he and she frequently
2) Some people mistake you for being mexican
3) You're really smart and creative
4) You eat mangos daily =)

Linky

My dad wants me to have an arranged marriage, actually. I have to go throw a good English style hissy fit now.

Ive been called anything but Filipino. I've been called Mexican, Korean, Italian, Cambodian, Vietnamese, Chinese, and White.

Its funny though either me or one or more people in my family fit absolutely everything on the Asia or Filipino lists.

quote warrchylde

You're know you're a Filipino if:
1. You own whitening products (Specially the papaya soap)
2. Know a lot of Korean/Chinese/Mexican soap operas
3. And yep you want to be cool as the African-American rappers
4. You work for an American call center and insist using English though you're already out of the office.
5. You dye your hair (And its not pretty but still you insist it doesn't)
6. You listen to the F4, Rain, etc. with your eyes closed (And you have no idea what the hell they're singing about)
7. You're idea of a rock song to sing in a concert are songs that "growls" (and you think people are crazy about it.)
8. You traced that one of your ancestors were American/Italian/Spanish/Chinese/etc. and you're so danged annoying about it (Oh, I'm half Filipino-half blah-blah-blah!)
9. You love the flee market (Go ukay-ukay!)
10. You adore love songs and rice!

Now that is FUNNY xD

Don't worry DBZ i am lucky if i am even called Asian

No one can tell where i am from half the time....and then they notice that im half asian or what ever and ask if i can speak chinese or something?....oh dear.

quote

Men and women are learning animals. If you do not see what they have learned, you're blind. They are creatures ever changing, ever improving, ever expanding their vision and the capacity of their hearts.

Yeah well that's just in my school. Does that make me cool?
Here's more from Uncyclopedia. LOLOLOL

You Know You Are...

Japanese Characters[edit]You Know You Are Japanese If...
Half your classmates kill themselves at finals.
You consider a classmate having sex with the teacher as being normal.
You think that dying your hair brown and eating more McDonald's will make you white.
You have a moral dilemma of identifying yourself as an Asian or a non-Asian person. (Seriously...)
You're obsessed with your hair, your car, and your clothes.
You think everything that is hi-tech is invented in Japan, include the nuclear bomb, because one blew up there, and the teakettle, because they're everywhere.
You eat Pocky for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
You constantly use "aru" after every single English word you think deserves the honaru.
Your keyboard has a few extra keys, and maybe missing a few keys from the Western keyboard.
Experiencing earthquakes is part of your life.
You have had sex experience at the age of 14 (if you are a boy).
You have had sexual intercourse at the age of 6 (if you are a girl).
Your hair is either dyed to bullshit yellow or black, red-purple, crimson, vermilion, green-neo ...

Seeing this Kanji will make a Japanese person's head explode. But it is a piece of cake for any Chinese personYour Kanji skills are poor, but take comfort in the fact that Koreans are worse.
You confuse Romance of the Three Kingdoms with Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms.
You don't hate Japanese people as much as Chinese and Koreans do.
You believe that Korea steals Japanese culture, and that the Sea of Japan naming thing is all a farce.
You know the safety procedures when you meet Godzilla in real life.
You think that all white people are Americans.
You think Europeans and Americans are the same.
You believe you are superior to the Gaijins, who are brainwashed by inferior American education.
You believe Nanking Massacre was a big hoax and/or a big mean evil Chinese propaganda.
Soka Gakkai is your enemy of the public.
You believe Koreans are from the Outer Space or something, but deny that they are genetically most close to the Japanese.
You like to beat the shit out of black people.
You panic and go crazy when you hear the word “sarin gas”.
You consider authentic bento lunchboxes the most innovative item since Tupperware.
You have deeper knowledge of Chinese cuisine than Korean people.
You believe the 2002 World Cup should be renamed "2002 World Cup Japan/Korea"
You love to eat whale blubber.
You know MGS stands for Metal Gear Solid.
You think Ragnarok Online is a Japanese game. Normans.
You believe every Asian country loves Japan.
You cannot distinguish between Taiwan and Thailand.
You believe China is an even more evil reincarnation of the Galactic Empire.
You believe Article 9 is bullshit.
You believe age of consensual sex should be lowered to ... say 7.
This is what the average white man sees.You love the Korean cuisine, but not necessarily the Koreans.
You love the Chinese cuisine, but not necessarily the Chinese.
You are a die-hard baseball fan.
You believe hentai is a form of art, and tentacles + yaoi is more of a modern art.
You recognize most of the Japanese baseball players, but you can't recognize almost all the Japanese politicians.
Being a cat girl (or catboy) is your wildest dream.
You recognize most of the manga-kas, but you can't recognize almost all the Japanese historical figures.
You think you are superior to all other Asians.
You believe Taiwanese are descendants of Japanese.
You never know why Japan gets flamed from Chinese and Koreans.
If you are a woman, you look identical from other Japanese.
If your fascinated with tentacles
If you have a penis, it's about the same size of a rice grain
You like doing triangular bayonet practise on pregnant women just to see if their babies will come out.
If you try to seduce your american husband during an important business meeting because you want him to give you more cash than you earn on the streets serving as an ugly prostitute that even hobos can afford to *bleep*.
If the cartoons that you draw at school take on the shape of ( . )( . )
[edit]You Know You Are Korean If...
You smell like garlic and kochujang (chilli paste).
You had plastic surgery (if girl) and *bleep*ed haircut (if guy).
You know that if Samsung collapses so will the Korean peninsula.
You don't know what is authentic tea (real Camellia sinensis).
This is what the average Asian Person seesYou mostly call any kind of hot beverages tea. (Very Un-Asian)
You consider mayonnaise as a wonder sauce for every western meal.
You understand Chinese cuisine as a Koreanized Shandong cuisine.
You are a deeply practicing anti-Japanese baiter or troll in daum.net.
You smoke, swear and drink too much.
You believe the Japanese steals Korean culture, and the Japanese claim to Liancourt Rocks is a joke.
You love playing pool, basketball, tennis, golf, or a combination of the above.
Most of the people at your church can speak Korean but can't speak English well.
You buy three of every type of unit available when playing WarCraftIII and insist that your knights will kill a line of guard towers better than your siege.
Your keyboard has stickers with strange lines, circles, and angles.
You're actually sorry that Margaret Cho's sitcom was canceled.
You want Margaret Cho to be funny so badly you close your ears and eyes when you see her.
You hate women, men with long hair, extreme drag queens, Communists (although they’re preferable to Americans), homosexuals, vegans, and people who hate hot spicy foods.
You like to beat the shit out of black people but will be kind when dribbing off them in a business trade.
You think Meiji is a character class in World of Warcraft.
You were either encouraged or forced to take TaeKwonDo at least once in you're life.
You hate people who say that TaeKwonDo is a based on Karate (and know it is in fact the reverse).
You are too proud to acknowledge that Tae Kwon Do is one of the Summer Olympic sports.
You always had kimbab on field trips while the other kids had Lunchables.
Your birthday cake is Meeyukh-Guk (Seaweed Soup).
You think kimchi-chigae is the best thing ever!
You are prone to eat more carbs than other Asians.
You are circumcised. (Males)
You love guys who circumcised their penis.
You are a hardcore Christian.
You believe Korea should be spelt Corea.
You believe know that the Sea of Japan should be called the East Sea, and that the Liancourt Rocks Dokdo is undeniably Korean territory. You encourage (force) friends to do the same, plus the Corea thing.
You hate Japanese cars.
You have an instinctual antagonism toward the Japanese (like, duh).
You believe Miso soup is a ripoff of Dwenjang.
You believe Kendo is a ripoff of Kumdo.
You believe katana is a ripoff of Korean sword.
You love J-rock and J-pop, but deny this fact from other Koreans.
You hate (or enjoy ... :-]) being physically punished by teachers at school.
You believe that physical punishment is absolutely normal and should be adopted to all countries in the world.
You have a huge pride that you are older than the other stranger next to you.
You believe Confucius is a Korean.
You believe expressing sarcasm is the worst sin than stealing.
You think people are idiots when they ask you which Korea you're from.
You only consider ramen as an instant "MSGed" food that has spicy hot chilly flavor.
You use the terms "FOB" and "Twinkie" loosely.
Your English sounds like Japanese with more kinds of vowels and consonants. But still sounds like Japanese.
Your certain style of Leetspeak is more like Classical Hebrew or Standard Arabic because you omit the vowels in Hangcool alphabet.
Your hair is dyed a very obvious orange, red, blonde or a combination of all.
You know MSG stands for Monosodium glutamate.
You are too good at short track speed skating. Until a Hawaiian is introduced.
Your relatives in North America own a Japanese restaurant.
You think you are superior to all other Asians (and know you are superior to those midget Zapanese).
You cry 80% of the time while watching television dramas.
You know how to zerg rush. (4-Pool)
You watch your kid play Starcraft in a stadium.
You play golf with exploding golf balls.
If you have a penis, it's about the same size of a rice grain

Remember to purchase frozen monkey testicles in the Market[edit]You Know You Are Chinese If...
You're seven years old and in the olympics. Or, like, doing calculus at age 10. Or maybe a piano virtuoso even though you're missing both your hands. Or maybe... oh whatever. The point is you're really *bleep*ing talented and everyone is jealous of you.
you are not a rascist and stereotype like most of the jackasses here, but you're subtly racist, because you only hire or secretly help out only chinese people.
you smile and always polite, but you hate them behind their backs
you make sure you never ever ever cross contaminate
when you eat you never touch your food, you eat with the wrapper wrapped around your food so you don't touch it with germy hands
you play these weird ass shrilly music on every new years
you like the color red, and gold together, when everyone else thinks it looks disgusting
you eat oily greesy food
your parents own a chinese food restaurant.
think everyone in china is chinese when they're are 50 different ethnic groups there.
your really cheap, so people always catch you in a 99 cents store, or buy cheap brand name
if you live in the city you tend to sell designer rip offs with the name altered. like Prato.
if you sell chinese food, it food is usually out and open there for days. that's why chinese food is so chea. but to their faces you say it's new and fresh.
if your a guy your a pansy
your mother beat the shit out of you father, or is a shrew.
you talk loud, because talking loud means you get your thought across
you are crazy about japanese and korean culture, but always jealous, so you bash them.
you have money, but your so cheap, so you don't care if you look poor
you think chinese is awesome, but everyone thinks chinese is the ugliest language they ever heard
you are proud that chinese people can speak chinese, english and have parts in foreign movies.
you like dragons and have dragons pictures everywhere
your mom is superticious and arranges your room according to feng shi
you always go through the clearance section
your nose is ugly, because it's upturn
most of your heads are shaped round and flat in the back.
you think karate and taekwondo sucks, kungfu rocks
hongkong is so cool, because of it's hongkong movies
if you have boxes of bootleg CDs/DVDs.
if Japan and Taiwan are on your "to-do" list.
gay. Return the old article here.

[edit]You Know You Are Filipino If...

...
... She-males are very common in Asia, and are usually very beautiful, make sure you do an oil check before any bedding/intercourseYou want to be a (famous) dancer, a singer, or an actor/actress, even though you have a day job as a nurse, a security guard, or an accountant.
You want to be a (famous) dancer, a singer, or an actor/actress, but end up posing for Playboy at the age of nineteen instead.
Your nickname has a funny sounding repetitive rhyme like: Lot-lot, Ton-ton, Not-not, Den-den, Beng-beng, Lala, Don-don, Jun-jun, Bobot, Cacai.
You have a father or elderly uncle or Grandfather named Boy.
You have been to a restaurant called Goldilocks.
Your mother, aunt or grandmother is called Baby.
You have at least one cousin named Bong.
You have a conversation that would normally take 3 hours in english, take just 5 minutes in Tagalog.
Your dog is called Bantay and your cat is called Muning.
Any person you meet that speaks your dialect is a relative.
You communicate and understand each other without sounding any words except movement of the eyes and some unique gestures.
You point at things not with your fingers but with your lips.
Everything in your house - the furniture, the mattresses, even the carpet - is covered in plastic.
You think that all white people are Americans.
You generally refer to all toothpastes as Colgate, picture-taking as Kodak-an.
You only use your mobile phone for text messaging and never for talking.
You own at least one mobile phone of rival networks.
You have never heard of landline telephones.
You say maybe when you mean yes or no.
You call parts of chicken as Betamax, Adidas, IUD, etc.
You turn on the television to entertain visitors.
A member of your family back home is a politician or a movie star.
You're are deadly afraid of black people.
You use balikbayan boxes on a regular basis.
You live in Daly City.
You watch too much basketball.
[edit]You Know You're Asian If...
you are constantly in court challenging the decision to revoke your driver's license after earning 227 points in a 12 point license revocation system... in a six week period... and causing two deaths... $200,000+ in damages... and being deemed a national security threat...
You are Connie Chung
You have several dozen pictures of you doing the peace symbol infront of various objects
The only sport you're good at is ping pong
...and volleyball.
You are visually impaired
Your first name rhymes with your last lung fung
You go to a school with "tech" in it
An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is she your sister?"
At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and never order dessert!
You use the terms "FOB" and "Twinkie" loosely.
At least once, you've started a joke with, "Confucius say..."
Everyone thinks you're Chinese no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from.
Everyone thinks you're good at math.
Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever so popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc...
When people see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick, they ask you to translate.
It's difficult to get into and around your house because mountains of shoes block the front, back, and closet doors.
The biology lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopi) were last night's dinner.
The furniture in your house doesn't match the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.
The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses...
...and at least one has black wire/plastic frames.
When going to other peoples' houses, you always have to bring a gift.
You ask you parents for help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing. Or say they can't remember because they learned it elementary school.
You buy soy sauce by the gallon.
You drive mostly Japanese cars. (Exception: Chinese, Koreans.)
You either really, really want to go to UCI or really, really want to stay away from it.
You get nothing if you do well in school, but get crapped on if you don't.
You have 120+ aunts and uncles.
You have at least 40 lbs. of rice in your pantry.
You have NO eyelashes.
You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and strange smelling unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine.
You have to call just about all of your parents' friends "Auntie" or "Uncle."
You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you. (e.g., Jean- ee- yah! or Mary- yah!)
You know what bok choy is.
You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents.
You like $1.75 movies.
You like $1.50 movies even more.
You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation oriental food.
You own a rice cooker...
...or four.
Your ancestors, 1000 years back, invented the back scratcher.
Your dad is some kind of engineer...
...or an accountant
Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
Socks from your country cut off your circulation.
Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV. (e.g. Michael Chang)
Your family owns a tennis racquet, a set of golf clubs, or both.
Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can grow into it and wear it for years to come.
Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In Korea (or other native country), we studied even more."
Your parents enjoy the pissing competition that is comparing you to their friends' kids.
Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian.
Your parents have either made you play the violin, the piano, the cello or a combination of the above. Woodwinds, particularly saxophones, are strictly verboten. An' don' even sink abou' play 'letric guitaa or drum! Too loud!

Fact: These are NOT Asian parents.Your parents have never kissed each other.
Your parents have never kissed you.
Your parents insist you marry within your race.
Your parents say, "Calculus?! I took calculus in 8th grade!!"
Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.
Your parents simply cut off the green/black part off the bread and say, "Eat it anyway. It's still good."
Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.
Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going.
Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "ai-yahs" and "wahs."
Your relatives' house smells like mothballs, incense or both.
You, your relatives and friends, when visiting new places, spend 90% of their times taking photos.
You shop 99 Ranch, Market World, or Yaohan.
You've ever gotten little red envelopes around February.
You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
... and of course, there's always a reason why eating them is "good for you".
You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.
You love singing to them.
You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
"You want a stereo?!? When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
You will most likely be taller than your parents.
Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words and phrases that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever popular, lime green.
You've never heard of an allowance.
You're never physically attacked by a non-Asian because they're afraid you might know martial arts...
...they were right.
You friggin’ rock at video games.
You have been cursed at by many people while driving...
...and you don't know why.
When You can walk into a bar, and two weeks later you own it
Define the laws of science taught in schools
Use anything as a weapon
And you no speak English no good hello...
[edit]You Know You Are In Asia If...
There is a telephone in the bathroom.
You go to a shop and see a T-shirt that says Nik Air with a 300 yuan price tag. You call the boss over and say "I'll pay 50 yuan for it". He say "No"; but as soon as you start walking out of the shop he yells out "How about 55 yuan?" (only works for asians)
If you are obviously a foreigner (e.g. blonde hair, non-brown eyes, white skin etc.), especially if you appear to be European, people will always charge you more than other asians (generally double the price).
...that's why you always go with an Asian friend and get them to buy souvenirs for you...
...but wait, they might tell you that it costs even more than what the shop asks...who knows...
You enjoy eating at MacDonalds, KFC, and Burger King.
You're taller than everybody else.
You're the only one wearing cargo shorts.
You spend half your days looking for a clean bathroom because you have to worst case of the runs you ever had.
You pretend to stay at a hotel but you just rest in the lobby for the free A.C.
[edit]The Top Tens
[edit]Top Ten Reasons There Won't Be a Chinese President Anytime Soon
10. No chance for promotion.

9. Oval Office has bad feng shui (literally means "wind water").

8. They're not white.

7. Engineering, medicine, and law always preferred over politics.

6. Lactose intolerance not considered politically correct.

5. Air Force One: No frequent flier miles.

4. Dignitaries generally intimidated by chopsticks at state dinners.

3. Senior aides won't take off shoes before coming in.

2. Secret service can't handle nagging from mother.

1. White House not big enough for in-laws.


While cruising in boat Asian men try favorite pick up lines.[edit]Top Twelve Pick Up Lines Used by Asian Men
12. EPPING!?!? That’s on my way home!

11. I only have one eyeball, and it's for you!

10. I may look like a nerd but it's only a disguise.

9. What do I do? Gee, I thought you'd never ask. Y'see, I'm finishing my first year of residency in internal medicine.

8. Uhhhh, no, I didn't play football in high school but I did letter in varsity volleyball and tennis.

7. Has anyone ever told you you look like Chun Li?

6. You know what? It's strange, but I get mistaken for a white guy all the time.

5. I want you to judge me by my personalty

4. Yeah, (sniff) I cried during "Joy Luck Club."

3. I carry this beeper not to feel important, but so my mom knows where I am. I carry this phone to call her back.

2. Do I cook? Well, not really, but I can make cup-o-noodles!

1. Hey baby, wanna ride in my 16-valve, twin cam lowered Acura Integra with BBS gold-spiked rims and a subwoofered stereo that will leave you breathless?


DUH MAH MEH!!! TA MA DE BI!!! SHIBA KESEKI!!! BAGAAI YALU!!![edit]Top Ten Ways to be the Perfect Asian Kid
10. Aspire to be a brain surgeon (Or a scientist...or a doctor...or a lawyer)

9. Go to a prestigious Ivy League University and win enough scholarship money to pay for it.

8. Become a Westinghouse, Presidential, and eventually a Rhodes scholar.

7. Apply to and be accepted by 27 colleges.

6. Love classical music and detest talking on the phone.

5. Marry an Asian-American doctor and have perfect, successful children. (For ah-ma, and ah-ba).

4. Love to hear stories about your parents' childhood...especially the one about walking 20 miles to school without shoes and the one they say that they only get to eat meat on Chinese New Year.

3. Play the violin or piano on the level of a concert performer.

2. Score a perfect 1600 (or 2400) on the SAT.

1. Have four hobbies: Studying, studying, violin/piano, and studying (sports is secondary). (You must detest Video Games and Internet Browsing, unless you are Japanese, in which case your parents want you to follow in their footsteps, and masturbate to hentai 24:7)

[edit]Top Ten Ways to be the Perfect Asian American Parent
10. Don't ask all your kid's friends over the age of 21 if they have a boy/girlfriend yet.

9. Don't ask your child, "What are you going to do with your life?" if he/she majors in a non-science field.

8. Don't try to set your kid up on a date in anticipation of their poor taste or inept social skills.

7. Incorporate other phrases besides, "Did you study yet?" into your daily conversations with your children.

6. Don't give your son a bowl haircut or your daughter two acres of bangs.

5. Don't reveal all the intimate details of your kid's life to the entire Asian community.

4. Don't blatantly hint about the merits of Habadu (Harvard), Yeil (Yale), or Purinsuton (Princeton).

3. Be a little more lenient on the 7:00 P.M. curfew.

2. Don't ai-yah loudly at your kid's dress habits.

1. Don't ask where the other point went when your child comes home with a 99 percent grade on his/her report card.

[edit]How to Make Your Asian Girlfriend Eternally Happy

Hi, boys! ...my mom's prettier than her...I hope......Be Asian! Or me!
Or, you can be a white guy. Asian women love white guys.
Be rich! This is important for you, but not for her. For her, the next rule applies.
Spend money on her! This is the most important thing for her, whether you are rich, have any money, or must lie, steal, or kill to do it.
Give her embarrassing or disgusting chores to do. This includes shaving your armpits, washing your unmentionables (they're called "unmentionables" for a reason!), cleaning the toilet, cooking naked, and taking care of your putrid feet. Make her rub your feet when you haven't showered or changed your socks in a while. She won't appear to be very happy with this subservient treatment at first, but she'll realize when she feels like she has been put in her place. Then she'll feel right at home.
Be tall! Of course you have no real control over this, but if you don't do it, she will secretly and forever resent you for it and it will come out of left field to spite you. Preferably be about 1 foot taller than her - not for comfort or aesthetics, but because you are a trophy and, as always, the bigger there, the better. Additionally, this will also give her a bigger and stinkier pair of feet to slave over.
Be a mindless zombie ruled by her! Forget what you've heard about submissive Asian women. They usually rule every relationship with insidious and painful, passive-aggressive, guilt evoking, whiny, crying mind control.
Have the emotional stability of a 4-year-old! She will be impressed and enraptured by your delight at the sight of Hello Kitty, stuffed animals, puppies, kitties, duckies, bunnies, as well as flowers, chocolates, shiny jewelry, and other trinkets, knick knacks, and tchotchkes. (But don't use that last word. It's a dead giveaway that you cannot satisfy Rule #3.) Also, she will understand perfectly well if you pout over the smallest perceived slight or slip and demand to be appeased, assuaged, or made up to. If you behave in any other way, she will never understand it.
Dress like a pretty boy geek! This will save her the trouble of replacing your wardrobe and dressing you herself.
Remove every hair on your body except those on your scalp! The sight of a whisker on your face reminds her that somewhere inside you, something is trying to grow. You must not grow; you must be as unchanging and constant as the firmament.
There are no more rules to making your Asian girlfriend eternally happy! If any situation arises which you feel the rules have not been addressed, you are mistaken - immediately refer to the primary rules #1, #2, and #3 - they are the solution in every such case. Also, they have extremely large gigantic big-as-a-*bleep*ing-dinosaur Oscar Wilde boners.

quote warrchylde

You're know you're a Filipino if:
1. You own whitening products (Specially the papaya soap)
2. Know a lot of Korean/Chinese/Mexican soap operas
3. And yep you want to be cool as the African-American rappers
4. You work for an American call center and insist using English though you're already out of the office.
5. You dye your hair (And its not pretty but still you insist it doesn't)
6. You listen to the F4, Rain, etc. with your eyes closed (And you have no idea what the hell they're singing about)
7. You're idea of a rock song to sing in a concert are songs that "growls" (and you think people are crazy about it.)
8. You traced that one of your ancestors were American/Italian/Spanish/Chinese/etc. and you're so danged annoying about it (Oh, I'm half Filipino-half blah-blah-blah!)
9. You love the flee market (Go ukay-ukay!)
10. You adore love songs and rice!

quote m_darkdrogon

quote Saint Jaycee

Okay, here's somethin' for all you Asians in the house. Take note that these are not to be taken as offensive material.

Asian Races

YOU KNOW YOU ARE CHINESE IF...

1. You think you're the smartest people in the world.
Nah, I don't thank that Chinese is the smartest.
2. You have a pager and cellular phone with you at all times.
I don't have none of those, want a cell pnone though.
3. Today's steamed rice is tomorrow's fried rice.
No, today's steamed rice, is tomorrow's steamed rice
4. You're afraid of black people.
Nope, got a lot of black friends.
5. You know you are superior to all other Asians. >
Nope, I don't think that Chinese are superior.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE VIETNAMESE IF...
1. You've gotta have fish sauce with every meal.
Meh, I don't like fish sauce.
2. You eat at a restaurant that has "Pho."
True, only cause my mom always takes us there.
3. You have some relative who is Chinese.
I am chinese.
4. You're afraid of black people.
Look at the one I did on top.
5. You know you are superior to all other Asians.
Look at the one I did on top.

-from YMC Cool Shit!

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Anyone find any of this to be true?

Meh, more false than true for me.

Yeah what the hell is this thing with Black people? i have seen alot of Black and Asian people get along....wtf?

People think the chinese are over them selves when really they are nice people most i met are modest.

Who does not listen to F4 and Rain even if you cannot understand them xD

quote

Men and women are learning animals. If you do not see what they have learned, you're blind. They are creatures ever changing, ever improving, ever expanding their vision and the capacity of their hearts.

quote Cute Phantasy

Yeah what the hell is this thing with Black people? i have seen alot of Black and Asian people get along....wtf?

Really i had no idea? maybe because here if there is black people it is not considered unsafe

Then again...i think it is just who the people are....depends really.

quote

Men and women are learning animals. If you do not see what they have learned, you're blind. They are creatures ever changing, ever improving, ever expanding their vision and the capacity of their hearts.

Because we Filipinoes are brown, we typically don't see the difference of skin color. Don't we all fart, dump, pee puke and wake up in the morning with a bad breath? I see people as they are, homosapiens. Period.

Oh and the humor about this? Hmmm... wait for it...

Okay you know that you're a Filipino if:
1. You can text like hell and just using one thumb.
2. If its cheap, you dig!