community General Discussion 6 - Ronaldinho Gaúcho - Page 5

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San Jose - Coming off a brilliant 2012 where they won the Supporters Shield (best overall record for the season; this doesn't make you champion fyi) and an astounding 72 goals scored the Quakes return with most of their team. They retain the Golden Boot winner from the last 3 season again with Chris Wondolowski hopefully going for the record again and attempting to score 28+ goals this season. They do however lose longtime veteran and captain Ramiro Corrales as he will most likely retire, and long time loanee Simon Dawkins as he goes off to be on loan to Aston Villa. Some affiliate Tottenham are.

With there increased number of games, lack of depth and likely injuries the Quakes will more than likely finish 4-5th in the western conference standings... guaranteeing the playoffs.

Real Salt Lake - Coming off a tumultuous summer where they saw 3 stalwarts of the team leave over the summer the club has had to slightly rebuild. Finishing 2nd in the western conference last year, but 4th overall was considered a failure to the coach and club who once went an entire month without scoring. The team however looks to instill young blood into the squad as 4 players (all under 22) look to fight for spot in RSL's tight diamond formation that has earned them respect throughout the league.

Optimistically we'll finish top. Pessimistically we'll finish 3rd.

Seattle - Losing their top defender and their top scorer is obviously not going to do them well. They're going to have to rely on one of the best goalkeepers in the league (not american... bastards), a shaky backline, one of the premier playmakers Mauro Rosales (also the premier player on the physio table) and Eddie Johnson as he looks to rebuild his career.

They'll either finish 2nd or 4th. Win the US Open Cup, and crash out of the playoffs. To which their fans will say that only attendance figures matter and that their team is better because they can sell out a 35k seat stadium, and that the turf they play on is made out of Jesus' diapers.

They will however take the fight to the web as troll wars on the lesser minded Seattle Fans (everyone knows they didn't have fans before 2009 and thus know nothing about soccer/football) are incessantly called Flounders. Also when they win the Open Cup everyone will declare it's not a trophy or equivalent to the Johnstone's Paint Trophy of the Football League.

Colorado - They'll shit. Finish bottom like the scum they are.

Chivas - They're racist. Attempting to only sign Mexicans in an American league (ala Athletic Bilbao, Guadlajara). They'll obviously win it all just to spite the US.

Funny enough that despite them wanting only Mexican or Mexican-Americans their captain is American. Goalkeeper of course because all our outfield players suck and have no vision.

Vancouver - They're Canadian. They won't do anything of importance. Surprising they made the playoff last year, but they were going against the giants that are Dallas, Crapids and the Portland Timbers.

Dallas - Sold Shea, and bought in two 6'5'' guys. NANANANANNANANANANANANNANAN COOPER! NANANANANANANNANANANANN HASSLI!


...doesn't have the same ring to it. Finish outside of the playoff after a bright start, but Ferraria will obviously have his leg shattered again.

LA Galaxy - They're totally buying the league. Keane will destroy everyone, Cudicini will have 0 goals scored against him, Juninho will look even more of a bargin after being finally bought (took them long enough... 3 seasons on loan?) from Santos, Omar will break everyone and be called up to the World Cup, Donovan will return and own the league and they'll buy Lampard in the Summer.

They'll finish bottom after being found to be behind all the match fixing going around. They'll do *bleep* all for the whole season, and come out of nowhere to win the MLS cup and be declared champions despite doing *bleep* all.

Portland - Will win the Cascadia cup, but finish low on the overall standings. Starting a twitter role with their local rivals the sounders where #MindTheGap and #ForeverInOurShadow will obviously trend worldwide. As trees are cut down for the amusement of the hipster rednecks up there.

Their College coach will do poorly as everyone knows College Coaches are shit. Like that Bruce Arena or Bob Bradley.. absouletly shit coaches with no place in the game. Probably sign all his old players only because they're triffic lads and helped him win some stupid college cup no one ever watches.

Houston - Being a Western Team in the East they'll destroy the poor fellas who wish to play more European like. Like what.