Schools Ban "Best Friends"

It seems some schools are trying to encourage kids not to have "best friends" and push children towards a more group friendship approach:

quote Daily Mail

Primary schools are adopting a 'no best friends' policy to shield children from the pain of falling out.

But critics are warning it is preventing youngsters from learning about the ups and downs of life.

Educational psychologist Gaynor Sbuttoni, who provides counselling for children in London, said the practice of teachers encouraging kids to play in large groups instead of developing tight-knit bonds is increasingly common.

Source: Teachers tell children not to have 'best friends' in primary schools... to prevent pain of falling out - Mail Online

The intention seems to be to shield children from the upset caused by breaking up with friends, however I actually see this as an integral part of life and think we shouldn't be trying to protect children perhaps as much as we do from the realities of the world. I think that doing so can retard kids' social development and this is never a good thing. I agree with what Sbuttoni went on to say:

quote Gaynor Sbuttoni

As parents, we're all trying to prevent our children feeling pain, but what we should be doing is helping them bear it and find solutions, rather than trying to take it away.

So, thoughts on this policy and the wider topic of whether we're trying to shelter kids too much from the realities of life would be good here.

Well I think their approach is a bit extreme. To tell someone to not have a best friend has no merit to me. Because that's ultimately a personal choice. If anything, they should be pushing the value of ordinary relationships so that there aren't as many breakdowns in social-gathering of conflicting groups. I seemed to mesh well with everyone in school, but that was out of choice, not what I was taught. So I wasn't destroyed when everyone moved on, because I viewed everyone equally.

I see this as another reason for kids to rebel because it's a "no you can't do this" policy. They should promote it as an "everyone is your best friend". People don't adhere to negative imagery.

silly psychologists.

No, seriously, I get it... they don't want people to get hurt. Well, enjoy a generation of narcissists that won't be able to cope with rejection or failure without putting a bullet through their skull afterwards.

Although there is one thing to be learned from this... why not amass as many friends as possible? Nobody said that you can have too many friends. Just remember... who's better, really haha

oh, and this won't work unless everyone has aspergers.


oh, and did somebody order... copypasta?

quote

Children commit suicide during exams and other School pressures. So should we stop giving them an education in case the negative effects harm them psychologically or somatic?

:3

Regardless of what they want, kids will always feel closer to a certain person, so trying to avoid best friends is silly all together.

Their course is way too extreme, personally, and I think learning this lessons through experience momentarily hurts the child but inevitably makes him or her stronger. Trying to bubble-wrap children nowadays is silly considering how easy it is to experience hardships, etc. in modern day society. Helping them and trying to take the pain away entirely aren't the same. =\

Sayyed summed up everything I was going to say.

There's nothing wrong with the 'best friend' system. People are just trying to overcomplicate nothing and shape kids into thinking life is like My Little Pony.

I could almost literally feel a braincell die at the suggestion. Having no best friend is almost impossible because there's always gonna be someone who you're super close to.

I mean, I had no friends for 8/9 years of school I was in but I don't wish that on anyone else. And plus, some kids do horribly in large groups and this 'no best friend' crap makes no sense. Plus, the whole group could turn horribly wrong since some groups could sorta kick out a certain person or some people anyways so this would probably back fire almost immediately.

We try to bubblewrap kids all too much these days that I fear they're going to feel a sense of false protection when they enter the real world and become too dependent on their parents to look out for them. When I was a kid, which was only 10-15 years ago, my mother wouldn't go out of my way to make sure I didn't go on a swing or slide incase I hurt myself. I remember once I went down a helter skelter and I'd crossed my legs on the mat causing my knees to rub along the side of the slide causing terrible blistering and grazing, but she just shrugged it off as shit happens and put plasters over the wounds.

Making 'best' friends become an integral part of growing up, understand who you are and fundamentally shapes you into the person you become. I know I certainly could have turned out a lot different if I didn't have the support of my best friends when I needed them. Yes, I've lost a few of them as I've grown up, moved, found other people to hang around with. But denying kids the pleasure of another's company? A person that you can essentially trust your own life to? A person who can be an important part of your life and you to theirs? Kids are just going to grow up Cynical and solitute...

As usual another sensationalist bullshit headline from the Daily Mail.

Schools aren't banning best friends lol. All it seems from the article is that's teachers are encouraging kids to play in larger groups, which is fine tbh as it stops kids getting left out. The emotional impact of growing up in school with no friends can be felt for a long time to come, that's surely not in doubt. Assuming for the sake of discussion that it is true though, then of course it's completely mental to think that they can stop kids from being more friendly with one kid than another.

As for stopping the pain of loss or whatever, that's just mad as well. You can't just block out an integral part of life lol, it's gonna happen sooner or later.