Welsh Wizards of Wrexham

WELSH WIZARDS OF WREXHAM

Perhaps the most famous team in modern North Welsh football, Wrexham have just entered the brightest period in their wet history. Manager Ion Lloyd has his charges playing football known to have made journalists make sex wees from Carlisle to Yeovil. His policy of signing only Welsh players add a heart to the team only seen elsewhere at Athletic Club Bilbao and less famously in Mesoamerica with Saprissa and Chivas. The fans bounce bouncily to the tune of The Dragon Song as they watch their heroes play. Conference Winners at a canter and last day champions of League Two by the slimmest of slim margins, Wrexham this season capped the achievement with an incredible third successive league title and promotion, finishing the League One season as champions ahead of clubs as big as Crystal Palace, Middlesbrough and Walsall.

The verve with which Wrexham destroy everything before them is astounding. To those who have survived earthquakes, tsunamis and Johnny Vegas, the comparison is clear, but there along with the dazzling pace is the most incredible finesse and verve this side of Barcelona. Many trumpet Swansea as a Barcelona of Wales, but they have not seen Wrexham play. Adrian Cieslewicz, sole non-Welshman, is arguably the finest right winger in the history of the Faroese game, his Welsh girlfriend keeping his place at the Racecourse. Ryan Doble has dodgy hair and looks like a startled mouse but scores like he plays football in a brothel. Billy Bodin has a stupid alliterative name and is arguably the Pedro of Wrexham. Folk heroes Clowes and Tomassen make for a defence as tight as a nun in front of brillo-pad-fingers Chris Maxwell.

A sexy scintillating 4-3-3/4-5-1 hybrid has made Wrexham arguably the centre of the North Wales football world, a hypothesis that will be tested to the max in next years Championship. Let's have a shufti at the stats from last season:


Squad Stats - Reserve Stats - League One Salaries - League One Player Stats - 2013 Results - 2014 Results - Cup Results - Stadium Expansion Plans






They say watching Wrexham is like a 90 + added time minute orgasm. And all on the lowest budget in League One. This impartial professional reporter believes they could be a decent outside bet for the Championship 2015 title, such is the aura and inexplicable victory runs provoked by Ion Lloyd and his merry dragons. The odds are that this team- all from League Two, most from non-league, will make their way into the Premier League before long. Although if reality catches onto these guys, it could be a very heavy fall...

What a piece of work are Wrexham! How noble in
Reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving
how express and admirable, In action how like an Angel!
in apprehension how like eleven Gods, the beauty of the
world, the paragon of football itself. And yet to me, what is
this quintessence of dust?

01. Chris Maxwell - GK - 23 - Commanding, determined, with an excellent set of reflexes and distribution skills, he's made the keeper's jersey his own at Wrexham and has become vice-captain, also a regular on the bench for the Wales National Team.

31. Paul Walker - GK - 22 - On loan at Forest Green this season, has had minor cameos since joining in 2012 but is widely considered a weakness

13. Danny Bellamy - GK - 18 - Only just arrived on a free transfer from Liverpool, expected to mainly play in the reserves this year, an injury to Maxwell could be cruel.

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08. Aristote Nsiala - RB - 22 - Despite his somewhat suspect disciplinary record, has been a stalwart at right back since League Two, a physical unit with surprising maturity.

03. Stephen Tomassen - CB - 20 - Straight from the Wrexham youth academy, has every attribute you'd want from a centre back and a whole career ahead of him, something of a hero at the Racecourse.

02. Leon Clowes - CB - 22 - Pacey, has been key at the centre of defence since Ion Lloyd first arrived at the club, although he is not as solid and cultured as Tomassen, he counterpoints him nicely on the left.

04. Paul Dummett - LB - 22 - A free signing from Newcastle United's youth academy, Dummett has acquitted himself well in his two years in 

22. Grant Basey - LB - 25 -  Cover for left back and centre back signed last season who ended up playing more often that not, a steady pair of feet if a little slow.

14. James Wilson - CB - 25 - Biggest signing of the  new era at Wrexham but in all likelihood little more than more experienced backup to the defence, a replacement for Danny Parslow.

16. Craig Morgan - CB - 29 - started his career at Wrexham many years ago, returning to the Racecourse much more experienced and hoping to

21. Joe Walsh - RB - 22 - a backup fullback who has never either impressed or shown himself poor, a decent option to have on the squad

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05. Mark Bradley - DM - 26 - Captain and linchpin of the team in the anchorman position, played every game of the BSP and L2 seasons before injury in L1, which has threatened to disrupt him since.

06. Lee Lucas - CM - 22 - Former Swansea trainee who can aim to replicate the ability of his Liverpool namesake, a cool passer who can also have an eye for goal with forward runs

12. Jordan Smith - CM - 21 - A very able central midfielder, although often his youth can show him up his athleticism and attitude are vital to the Wrexham engine room

15. Ash Taylor - DM - 23 - Signed from Tranmere Rovers in January, the Welsh international has all the attributes needed to be a star for Wrexham, but has a tough squad to break in to.

19. Ibrahim Farah - MC - 22 - Despite never being an especially exciting talent, Farah grew into a more prominent role last season after two years of only two appearances, showing an eye for goal.

20. Jordan Copp - DM - 20 - Unexpectedly played a lot of last year covering for Bradley after being brought in from a free transfer, the youngster has a positive attitude and is capable.

18. Craig Nash - CM - 17 - A silky playmaker with a big future, made his debut aged only 16 and has never looked out of place, composed on the ball and with a real eye for a pass.

26. Brett Vaughan - CM - 18 - Only ever on the fringes, the youngster shows flashes of promise but can appear too lightweight for first team football, one to watch.

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07. Adrian Cieslewicz - AMR - 23 - Lightning fast, the Faroese international is the only non-Welsh player left at the club, but his sheer class and Welsh girlfriend qualified him to stay. Wrexham fan hero.

09. Billy Bodin - AML - 22 - At his best cutting in from the left, has played in every league with Wrexham in two loan spells and a free transfer last year, earning well deserved plaudits.

10. Ryan Doble - STC - 23 - Got sent off on his debut in the BSP, but since then has shown his worth as a goalscorer, his all round physicality and eye for a goal making him a guaranteed marksman.

17. Josh Dawkin - AMR - 22 - Loanee last year signed on permanent basis this year to play backup to Cieslewicz and Bodin, a decent winger with pace and good final product.

11. Jake Taylor - AML - 22 - Spent time on loan with Wrexham in L2 and impressed in L1 with Tranmere last year before being transfer listed by Reading. Pacey and hot prospect.

24. Joe Wynne - STC - 17 - Scored on his debut aged 16 against Liverpool in a friendly and has continued in the same vein since, the pacey wonderkid a jewel in the Wrexham crown
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WREXHAM F.C

AUGUST 2014

The Battle of Wales, if you will, and James Wilson made his debut at right back and Dawkin replaced injured Cieslewicz in an otherwise unchanged Wrexham XI from the first days in League Two. When Lee Lucas turned in a header from a Dawkin cross it looked like dreams do come true, but Tchite turned in from the near point capitalising on shit keeping from Maxwell. Second half and Doble headed in another cross, and it looked like the Dragons would be roaring home with three points until the last minute, when the Bluebirds, with their second shot on target, scored an equaliser. Gross injustice at the imaginatively named Cardiff City Stadium.

First time volley cross Matthews to Dawkin, bullet header bottom corner. Dawkin breaks perfectly, knocks it back to Farah, volley top corner. Peach. Incidentally Wrexham's turn to score from our only two shots, our defence was as loose as Katie Price today. Nobody really seems to care though, we're still high from Cardiff. Not even the full strength second XI, as most of the decent youngsters were away with Wales.

It is always wise, I have found in my career. To have pithy comments stacked away for games like this. Wrexham should have won but didn't. A second successive draw in what is shaping up to be *bleep*ing mesmerising season for the Dragons.

There have been more pointless games. There have been less skillful games. But never has there been a game that has been this similar to the one before it. The only redeeming features were the goals. Joe Wynne saved the day late on because he's a Welsh hero.

The result speaks for itself. QPR, a team with a squad who have mostly been Premier League stars and tend to earn individually more than the entire Wrexham squad, got thrashed at the Racecourse as Wrexham recorded their first Championship victory. Wrexham played a masterful game, allowing QPR the ball but when they got it being perfectly incisive, all three goals coming from quick counter-attacks down the wing.

A backup eleven that held out for the first half then got destroyed in the second, despite Alex Bray's well-taken disallowed goal. Young substitute right-back Ryan Cotterall's header from a corner proved consolation as the smaller dragons did well against a Premiership side.

Not the most thrilling of matches but another Wrexham win against a recently Premiership side is encouraging, as they passed and pressed Brum to death. The goal was by the familiar method of an outball to Cieslewicz behind the full-back being crossed onto Doble's head. After Wrexham went ahead, the game fizzed out and they frankly never looked like losing.

Had big boots to fill in the form of Billy Bodin, but has supplanted him in the Wrexham eleven, his direct running and keen finishing a key part of the early season form that has propelled the Wizards up into the playoff places. Played above his ability perhaps, but deserves the merit all the more for it.

That's a very good start to Championship life! Looks like you've brought a never-say-die attitude to the Racecourse, good wins over Birmingham and QPR as well. Love this story mate, KIU!