Well written! The only error I noticed was lack of a punctuation mark, presumably a period, at the end of the sentence "No, Sunbeam. I'm not".

quote hiigaran

Y U NO NOTIFY OF NEXT CHAPTER!

keep it coming man, its great stuff. two small mistakes though - spike doesnt have blue flames, and there was also a spelling mistake where 'me' should have been 'be' - other than that, perfect!

EDIT: Giga Bowser - have you submitted these to EqD? they are definitely worthy of getting on it (try to advertise our forum somehow! )

 Hey, Giga Bowser, I just noticed a few errors in Chap. 2. 
Spoiler:All The Minor Shit
In this next sentence it should be Fluttershy's not Fluttershy'd, I think.

Twilight could see Fluttershy’d teary eyes. She was even shivering lightly. Of the five of them, Fluttershy had definitely been hit the worst.
 

SDEdit: Man, it's really easy for you to type a "D" instead of a "S" so, here it should be cries instead of cried.

Fluttershy’s cried grew softer at Twilight’s touch.

SDEdit 2: Okay, then here, I think it would be 'ya will' not 'ya'll will' because, 'ya'll' means You All, not You Will, so in this next sentence "ya will" instead of "ya'll will."

I hope ya’ll will consider us family…”

SDEdit 3: Dear god, I can't stop finding minor shit. Here it would be "make you feel" not just "you feel."

I hope my friends’ words you feel a little better