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Jan 18, 13 at 10:44am ^Corruption vs Tseng_Eclipse (Unclean Hands) [Speed Duel]
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Two Battle Post (each)
One Victory Post
Twenty minutes per post
This duel will start at some point after Corrishi gets his butt on MSN.
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Jan 18, 13 at 11:38am ^re: Corruption vs Tseng_Eclipse (Unclean Hands) [Speed Duel]
It wasn't often that Mary-Sue had a date. Not one she had planned so far in advance, at least.
But today was different. It wasn't the first time that she had met Kalek, and that alone was cause for raised eyebrows. It wasn't often that Mary-Sue let people go for long enough to meet them a second time. But circumstances would.
Mary-Sue was early. Considerably early.
Walking through the streets of the city had found her nothing and caused her nothing but complications. She'd left most of her pack above ground, their forms invisible, on watch for anything that might interfere. She'd taken some of the men who'd attempted to waylay her on her search and converted them to more pets for the occasion.
Now she was in the sewers.
People did not often walk in the sewers, and with good reason. If she had been around people, perhaps she would have feigned concern over the muck seeping between her bare toes, the squelch of the slurry she walked through every time she lifted her feet. Her white dress had a splattering of brown and green up from the hem to nearly her waist, and her legs had suffered a similar feet. But Mary-Sue alone was entirely unconcerned by this. It wasn't as though it would make her sick, after all. And earth was earth, no matter how many times it had been through a human being.
She was both searching and waiting.
She didn't expect Kalek to keep to time. She had seen an intelligence in his crimson eyes, and if nothing else he did not trust her to keep her word - and wisely. He would be early, if not through a desire to get one up on her himself, in order to stop her from ambushing him.
By her side trotted three miniature unicorns, their heads level with her waist. Their iridescent, white coats were spattered with excrement, and they shook their heads in irritation at the less than pleasant scent that rose from the floor. Their once-shiny manes had become stringy and tangled with dirty water. Mary-Sue was unconcerned. The water from the ceiling had dripped into her hair, too, but any imperfections in her form would be wiped away as soon as she met someone - her target or not.
She felt a familiar shift, her nostrils flaring as the almost tangible scent of the unnatural assailed her senses, over the smell of sewage and dirt. Her eyes, pupils wide in the darkness that her fey heritage allowed her to see in, scanned the area. Her ears, alert, listened for any sound above the splashing of hooves and the dripping of water. He would be there. Soon, he would be there. He had escaped only because of their agreement last time. This time, his soul would be hers. She would wind it from him and bask in the deliciousness of something so strong. So powerful. He would become the head of her pack. No gift to the Winter Queen would something so precious become, no matter how much her monarch and patron demanded it of her.
Mary-Sue licked her lips, the faint salty taste on her tongue reminding her of sweat and blood and terrified victims.
She had missed this.
Splish. Splish. Splish.
There. Footsteps. Her target's or some unsuspecting workman, it did not matter. Her left hand curled around the hilt of Bloodhound, which shivered in anticipation under her touch. The quivering blade shimmered, longing to change form to something more fitting.
"Soon," she whispered, reassuring. The unicorns raised their heads, horns glinting in what light reached them. So small they seemed. So vicious they would be at her command.
She felt herself changing. Her already raven hair fell longer down her body, her skin becoming miraculously free of the dirt and grime of the sewer. Her eyes green, as emeralds, and her height subtly increasing.
"Kalek," she purred, her former ally rounding the corner. He had none of the luck with magic that she did, but still the sewage only seemed to crust around the bottom of his boots. She suspected he had cheated. "It's been some time, hasn't it?"
With one swift movement, she drew Bloodhound. Above them, in the city, she could feel the pack baying. The people of the city would sleep in unease tonight.
The sword lengthened at the briefest touch of her will, the edge becoming serrated and glinting with the tint of poison at every wicked edge. She smiled, with perfect white teeth.
She had been looking forward to this.
Jan 18, 13 at 11:59am ^re: Corruption vs Tseng_Eclipse (Unclean Hands) [Speed Duel]
Kalek put a hand on a stone wall slick with grime and muck, a tiny orb of arcane energy lighting his path. The sewers underneath the city were dark and every so often, chunks of solid waste would brush up against Kalek's legs as he moved about the sewer.
She was here. Mary-Sue. They'd set up a time and a place after their battle with Ged and Weg to settle their own fight, but she was already here, as he'd expected. He allowed himself a small smile. He hadn't intended to play fair either. He was filled to the brim with all of the Frequencies, and he'd taken care to secure a vial of the Tenth Frequency, just in case. His memories of fighting alongside Mary-Sue were foggy with brief flashes of clarity when she had not been affecting him so heavily.
The Anti Duelist knelt down, thinking hard on how he wanted to approach this fight. Mary-Sue's powers were largely based around illusions, cloaking herself and her minions in various forms, and as a result, the Eighth Frequency was thick in the air. It was almost suffocating to Kalek. He could sense her every where. Whether that was her own trickery preventing him from pinpointing her location or if her powers were simply that vast, he didn't know.
Still, getting a surprise attack in would work best, if he could. The Anti-duelist began to sneak quietly down the sewer tunnels. His eyes moved along the walls and ceiling watching for even the slightest flicker of movement. She could be any where and any thing.
His eyes fell on a spider skittering across the wall, and with a flash, Kalek channeled the second Frequency and fried it to a crisp with a tiny spark of fire.
Kalek took a deep breath and continued on. He had to calm himself. If he fell under Mary-Sue's spell, it was all over for him. He could not look her in the eyes and he could not listen to her voice. It was a very poor situation for him to be in, but he had a plan for at least stopping her from bewitching him with her beauty.
The sense of Mary-Sue grew strong suddenly. Was she drawing him to her? Kalek rounded a corner, and immediately snapped his eyes shut. She had been waiting for him. He heard her coo, "Kalek, it's been some time, hasn't it?"
Kalek smiled. She'd given away her position with that sentence. He lashed out with the Eighth Frequency and wove his own illusion around Mary-Sue. When he opened his eyes, the ugliest woman he had ever seen was glaring at him with unbridled rage. She was bone-thin and short with scraggly tangles of black hair and dark, black eyes.
"How dare you!?" she screamed, "How dare you alter my own body!"
"Hello, Mary-Sue. Have you gotten uglier since I last saw you?" he asked lightly. There were three of her ponies with her. She had more. At least five in total that Kalek knew of from their previous fight. He let the Eight Frequency go and fell into the Fourth Frequency instead.
Heart hammering, Kalek turned and fled back down the tunnel. His illusion was already ripping apart under Mary-Sue's superior ability and he could hear the pursuit of the Sparkle Ponies, but it had been enough. Kalek had applied a psychic tag to Mary-Sue. He knew where she was now. Ion wouldn't be proud of the Anti-Duelist's rough copy of his technique, but it was enough. Now, the true game began,
Jan 18, 13 at 12:19pm ^re: Corruption vs Tseng_Eclipse (Unclean Hands) [Speed Duel]
She had been confident. Overconfident, perhaps. But he had taken the knife of his abilities and sliced them across her flesh, no matter how briefly.
"Find him," she growled, and one of the unicorns took off, becoming a giant hound mid-stride and loping off down the tunnels. She walked slower. Anger became mistakes if it dominated the mind. But that did not mean she would forget, nor downplay the insult he had given her. Oh no. She would hone it into a blade sharp enough to cut the air.
Red-hot became white-hot as her form fell around her, becoming her true self once more. The sword in her hand howled for blood, as did she.
I will taste your very screams, Kalek, she thought, her teeth gritted. As the two unicorns beside her pricked up their ears, she began to run. He could not hide from her, not for long. His only advantage would be knowing that she was coming. And that was perhaps not the advantage he considered it to be.
The dog came to a halt in the middle of the sewer tunnel, confusion in its eyes as the scent went immediately cold. It whined, low and uneasy, unwilling and afraid of disappointing its mistress. Where could the man have gone? He was big and human and could not hide his scent. Could he?
The air was suddenly alive with smells, and in the few seconds it took the creature to get its bearings, fire lept up around him. The yelp of pain and fear cut through the silence like a thunderclap. It shimmered, then vanished, ash already mixing with the sewage below it.
"Good riddance," Kalek muttered, taking hold of the seventh frequency once more. She was coming.
She felt it as the first of her pack perished. Her eyes narrowed as she rounded the corner. A trap perhaps, but he had insulted her twice already and her blade had not even tasted of his flesh. She had no use for the facade when he knew what she was.
Approaching the area, she knelt by the char that had licked into the walls of the sewer, above the flow. No sign of Kalek. The death marks of her dog. She made a noise of frustration through her teeth.
Unlike her poor hound, she turned immediately as she heard the noises of something else in the sewer, bringing up her sword to meet the challenge. Kalek stumbled back, her blade passing barely millimetres from his skin, then narrowed his eyes.
Below her, the sewer rumbled.
She'd seen this before. Elemental channeling of the basest sort. But here, below ground, it could likely be of much more deadly effect.
With a powerful jump, she took to the air and steadied herself against the ceiling as the dirty water tried to swallow her whole. The unicorns scattered, the only command she gave them a simple one: attack. The bricks around her began to cave in, the earth pushing out against them in an attempt to grab her.
Every step backwards that Kalek took was met with a spike of earth that slammed its way through the bricks of the sewer, raining down broken pieces on her and her faithful hounds as well as on her. She sliced Bloodhound through more than one of his makeshift stalectites, but the relentless assault forced her back from her true target.
Sharp earth rained down beside her.
Gritting her teeth, she landed on the floor, sidestepping the inevitable attack from the earth and ignoring the dirty water that washed over, drenching her in muck and dirt. Kalek had his eyes closed, blood runes drawn on them, so he did not have to look at her, could not marvel at her beauty and fall prey to her most potent magics. Perhaps she should have expected that.
She ran forwards. The earth tore a gaping wound through her side, and pain spiked through her body, but she ignored it. She launched herself forwards, blood turning black as it mixed with the sewage below, and swung.
Bloodhound tore through skin, and although she heard Kalek yelp, it had not made much of a mark. He had already been moving backwards, away from her, and although she had cut him to the bone, she hadn't done any damage he wouldn't later be able to fix. Still, his blood now coated her blade. She smirked grimly, the wound in her side already beginning to knit itself closed. The sword changed form in her hands, and she jumped gracefully backwards from a sloppier stalegmite and raised the rifle at Kalek.
"Nice try, boy," she whispered. "But not good enough."
As she said it, the bricks above Kalek's head became a giant, jet-black spider, and it dropped onto him. A fireball met it as it fell, but that did not immediately inconvenience it, even though Mary-Sue could feel its pain as though she herself was burning. Still aflame, it latched on to Kalek's head, and she smiled at the scent of his beautiful hair crisping under the heat.
Mary-Sue always had a trick up her sleeve.
Jan 18, 13 at 12:41pm ^re: Corruption vs Tseng_Eclipse (Unclean Hands) [Speed Duel]
"NOT THE HAIR, NOT THE HAIR, NOT THE HAIR!" Kalek yelled. He channeled the Seventh Frequency and vanished into the shadows, moving along them as fast as he could. Confronting Mary-Sue face to face had been a horrible idea.
He emerged in a central complex and doused his hair with water nearby. All of the tunnels seemed to connect here. There were eight of them arranged in a circle. Kalek took a moment to heal the cut Mary-Sue had given him with the Sixth Frequency, and then paused, casting about for Mary-Sue's location. She was moving toward him. How? Luck? Or...?
Kalek grimaced and dove into the mucky water. If one of her ponies had latched itself onto him before he'd vanished into the shadows, it would be leading her right to him. Kalek surfaced and spat out something he decided he was better off not looking at, and seized the Second Frequency.
The water around his feet was pushed back in a small circle around him so that not a single drop of moisture remained. Next came his clothes and skin. He lifted most of the water off of it and cast it down the tunnel. He heard it splash distantly against a wall. Kalek took a deep breath and channeled lightning down all eight of the tunnels. Electricity danced along the surface of the water and howls of pain reverberated down the tunnels back to him. Whether Mary-Sue's sparkle ponies or the witch himself, he couldn't be sure, but he continued to blast the water with lightning, counting the seconds to himself.
"...29...30..." he muttered, finally ceasing his channeling. Mary-Sue had stopped moving, but Kalek didn't trust that one bit. He knelt down in his cleared circle of earth and stone and listened intently.
"I'm going to get you." The whisper echoed along the walls, coming from every tunnel. Kalek sighed. She was still alive.
"I'm going to get you." He frowned. It sounded like water rushing toward him.
"I'm going to get you!" Kalek jumped to his feet as light emerged down all eight of the tunnels. It wasn't rushing water. It was fire. An inferno roaring toward him from all directions.
Kalek cursed. There wasn't any time to switch Frequencies and form a shield of Arcane energy. He seized the water around him once more and shaped it around him in a tight shield as the blazing walls of fire roared across him. Kalek screamed as his entire body was burned by the flames licking across him, the shield of water he'd formed only preventing him from being completely charred.
Only his blood-enhanced senses let him hear the slight tumble of a pebble being overturned. A sword of pure white arcane energy flashed in his hands and he turned and met Mary-Sue's sword strike. Kalek pushed her away with a kick and leaped back. Something large and heavy splashed into the water where he'd been standing. An attack from the Sparkle Ponies as well, then.
Mary-Sue's sword flashed down in arc from above and Kalek brought his blade up to block. Behind him, he heard the Sparkle Pony get to its feet and lunge. With a thought, the sword in his hands became a spear of energy that shot forward from both ends, impaling the both the Sparkle Pony and Mary-Sue in their hearts - or where their hearts would be if they had the same anatomy as the forms they took.
Kalek relaxed as Mary-Sue fell into the sewer waters, a look of shock and surprised anger on her face. He let the Third Frequency fade. He regarded Mary-Sue's corpse.
"I was right. You did get ugl-" Mary-Sue grinned ferally as her blade sliced across Kalek's chest, cutting deeply. Kalek found time to swear as he leaped back, blood magic reactions saving him from being cleaved in two.
"So, so close," Mary-Sue said, "But soon, I will have your delectable soul, Kalek."
Jan 18, 13 at 12:59pm ^re: Corruption vs Tseng_Eclipse (Unclean Hands) [Speed Duel]
So close so close so close.
There was pain dancing in little circles all over her body, and blood which dripped once more to the floor. Her wounds were healing, but the insult remained. He had come more prepared than even she had expected.
But he would still be hers in the end.
He still had the damnable sword in his hands. With a thought, one of the unicorns rippled and changed, its form moulding into that of the largest dragon that could still be manoueverable in the small space of the tunnels. It roared, and Kalek said some less than savoury words. A hasty shield saved him from being immediately fried to a tasty crisp.
Idly, Mary-Sue flicked off the safety on Bloodhound, its form shifting imperceptibly as she did so, and pressed down the trigger.
Bullets ricocheted off the bricks and hissed into the sewage at Kalek's feet. She knew better than to bother aiming at his shield, but the noise was disorientating for his blood-enhanced hearing and the constant assault was enough to make even the most well-protected of men cower. And she knew that he only had so long.
"Time's ticking, Kalek," she whispered, grinning at the feel of his name on her lips. Soon. So soon.
No longer desperate like she had been before, she couldn't call on the quantity of magic she had before, but she had something else up her sleeve.
Over the sound of bullets and the roar of the dragon, which lashed out at Kalek with claws and tail, she began to sing. There was the briefest pause, and her voice rang out clear through the tunnels. He would hear her. He would have no choice.
The dragon growled.
Suddenly, invisible hands seemed to grip at her throat, choking her and cutting off her voice. She tried to protest, her hands going to her neck as she was lifted off her feet, her weapon falling to the floor with a noise clatter and a splash. Sweat beaded on Kalek's forehead as he concentrated on channeling that same frequency he had marked her with in the beginning, the other forcing the dragon's head down and finally, painfully, carving an invisible, crushing blow through its skull. If she had not been choking on the air denied to her, Mary-Sue would have wept. He was cruel. Petty and cruel. It wasn't as though she was asking much of him.
Her vision began to swim, and Mary-Sue reached for power.
Her skin began to crackle with energy, and she latched on to the connection that Kalek's frequencies had forged between he and she. Power ripped through it, surging through the air like lightning and throwing Kalek from his feet. The air was knocked out of him in turn as he hit the floor a good few metres from where he had been standing, wheezing and covered in dirt and excrement. Mary-Sue remained where she was, her feet a few inches above the surface of the water, and ran one hand over her neck. Already it had begun to bruise, but already her nature had begun to heal it.
She knelt, and picked up Bloodhound. In her grip it became a long knife, radiating heat and pain.
"Kalek," she whispered, her voice still hoarse. "Don't you like my singing?"
"I've heard better from a group of yowling cats," he replied, getting to his feet and grimacing at the state of his hair. He was hiding his pain well, but she could see through him. He was hurting. The only problem she had was that she now had no idea which of his many power sets he was accessing.
There was only one way to find out.
She closed the gap between them. Blood still dripped from her unclosed wounds, their nature so deep that her body was still working to combat the damage. The corpse of her beloved hound was but a momentary obstacle. She moved with speed and grace, and met the strike of Kalek's arcane sword with her blade.
She beat him backwards, blow after blow against his weapon, seeing the strain slowly etch its way into his face, lines in his skin as he frowned in concentration and tried to block out the pain.
Without warning, she swept her leg around, even his enhanced speed - the only thing that had been saving him from death to begin with - not enough to combat it. He fell hard against the wall, and Mary-Sue pinned him, her knife by his throat.
"I have been looking forward to this," she whispered, her blood dripping from her chest and onto his sodden clothes. "To hear you screaming." The sword had vanished from his hands. Perhaps he had given up, as saddening as that was. She moved the knife.
And met with resistance.
"Nice try, hag," Kalek replied with a grin, his arcane shield glowing white against his skin. "But not this time."
He slammed a hand into her chest, and her world exploded with pure white energy, and crackled with pain.
Jan 18, 13 at 1:20pm ^re: Corruption vs Tseng_Eclipse (Unclean Hands) [Speed Duel]
As the blast of arcane energy ripped through Mary-Sue, Kalek let his Blood Magic fade. He had lost too much blood to maintain it now. He wisely stepped away from Mary-Sue's sizzling body, having learned from his mistake earlier, and hoped fervently that she was dead now.
She was not.
She howled as she began to stagger to her feet, her form dancing between various shapes and sizes. It was grotesque.
Kalek reached for his reserves. Elemental energy was gone, and he'd just wasted all of his arcane energy. He didn't have enough blood to maintain blood magic anymore...shadow magic for a quick escape, perhaps. He could try possessing Mary-Sue by stepping on her shadow, but the Anti-Duelist discarded that thought. The brief trip he'd taken into her mind with the Fifth Frequency had shown a mind far too complicated for him to take over...illusions wouldn't help him win this fight.
Kalek hesitated and reached for the Ninth Frequency. It was like wading into rancid sludge. Bile rose in his mouth, but he forced it down and channeled. He could feel six corpses, the corpses of the Sparkle Ponies he'd killed. Their souls had already been twisted by Mary-Sue, but Kalek still found pity for the poor creatures as he raised them from the dead and called them to him. A dragon, a spider, three dogs, and a rat circled around him. Kalek seized the rat and it twisted in his hands, taking the form of an obsidian lance while the dragon picked up Mary-Sue in its maw and thrashed her against the wall, mangling her body in its teeth. The gun in her hand became a sword once more as she sliced off the dragon's head. She collapsed on the floor in a crumpled heap. She lifted her head and glared at the spider hissing at her and before it could make its move, it burst into flame at Mary-Sue's will.
"You fucking bastard! Those are MY pets! MINE! I WILL FLAY YOUR SOUL, CUT YOUR SKIN OFF IN RIBBONS-"
The dogs came next, pouncing as one. Mary-Sue blasted one away with a shotgun blast that left the dog nothing but a few chunks of flesh, and managed to kick another dog away. The third hound's jaws closed around her throat as gun turned to spear and she stabbed it. The dog gave out a yelp and collapsed on top of her.
Kalek stood over the witch's twitching body and plunged the spear the sparkle pony had become through the dog and into Mary-Sue's breast as he reached for the Eleventh Frequency.
"You are dangerous," Kalek said softly as Mary-Sue screamed curses at him, "Too dangerous. I didn't want to have to kill this entire city to destroy you, but you have proven far too dangerous."
Mary-Sue's eyes widened in what, Kalek thought, was real, true fear. The sewer began to shake and tremble violently as the air above Mary-Sue warped and twisted as Kalek twisted the gravity around it into a tiny black hole. He secured himself to the floor as the sewage system, and the city above the two duelists, began to crumble into the vacuum the Anti-Duelist had created.
"I'm going to crush you into dust," Kalek said to Mary-Sue. Then he looked upwards toward the city, "I'm sorry."
Edit = removed the censor from fucking
Jan 24, 13 at 7:05am ^re: Corruption vs Tseng_Eclipse (Unclean Hands) [Speed Duel]
Okay, judging time. Before I do this however, I would just like to say how written the posts for both characters are. While I assume at least a little pre-planning went into each one, the fact that the two of you were able to write these posts in 20 minutes is very impressive. Some of them were off by a minute or two, but I tend to very lenient about that. That being said, time to judge.
Alright, your introduction post starts off well enough. We get an explanation of Mary Sue and Kalek being at odds, and a little bit of info about why the battle is taking place in the sewers. We also have some nice imagery, with Mary Sue’s pure white dress and unicorns contrasting with the disgusting muck of the sewers. I think you messed up the phrasing a little bit with the sentence “She didn't expect Kalek to keep to time.” I imagine you wanted something more like “She didn’t expect Kalek to keep to the designated time”. There’s also this other line “He would be there. Soon, he would be there.” The use of the word “there” sounds odd, and I think you wanted to use “here” instead. Also, this might just be a personal problem, but when Mary Sue stated that “she could feel the pack baying” I had honestly forgotten that she had sent some of her unicorns to the city above, and had to go back and double check to understand that sentence. Really though, this was good.
Your first battle post was also good. The action was clear and concise, though there were again some points where I feel your word choice and grammar weren’t quite up to scratch. For instance the bit with the dog being burned up by Kalek is good, but you use the word “him” in there once, while elsewhere the unicorns are referred to as “it”. You also repeat yourself in the sentence “raining down broken pieces on her and her faithful hounds as well as on her”. Other than that, the battle was interesting, though I would have liked a little clarification about what exactly that spider was at the end. I mean I assume it’s one of those sparkle ponies, but you never know in a duel like this.
Your second battle was probably your best, I honestly can’t find much wrong with it. The battle changes multiple times, so things were kept interesting. It could have used more description, but considering the time limit everything was pretty good.
Your introduction starts with some more exposition, and answers the one question I had left over from Tseng Eclipse’s post, when and where both Kalek and Mary Sue organised this battle. I enjoyed Kalek’s plans as he approached the battle, and destroying the spider just on the suspicion that it could be shapeshifter was a nice touch. I did find it a little strange that Kalek would go to the effort of putting an illusion on his opponent, only to run away immediately after he had placed a psychic tag on her, but whatever. The only real mistake I can see is that you use the words “any where and any thing” when you probably should have used “anywhere and anything”. Beyond that, though, this was good.
Your first battle post was solid. I will say that some of the terminology was seemingly mixed up with the water manipulation, though. At one point you write Kalek throwing the water down only a singular tunnel, only to somehow electrify eight of them, so I can guess that that was a mistake. You also don’t really describe what the sparkle pony attacking Kalek at the end looks like either, which would have been nice considering they are shapeshifters. Overall though, nothing really wrong with this post.
Your second battle was also fine. Resurrecting the sparkle ponies was interesting, though I thought you could have done a little more with them. The ending was climatic, though Kalek seemed to jump a little suddenly to destroying the entire city. A little foreshadowing there would have been great. Other than that, it was good.
Before I declare the winner, I would just like to point out once again how high quality these posts were from both of you. Most of the flaws I’ve pointed out really are trivial, and probably all would have been fixed if more time had been permitted. As it is, I’m going to vote in favour of Tseng Eclipse here. Her posts in general seemed to have more things happening in them, which is important in a speed duel. You did surpass her at points, Corruption, but not quite enough to win the duel. Congratulations to both of you on an interesting and fun to read battle.
Jan 31, 13 at 2:22pm ^re: Corruption vs Tseng_Eclipse (Unclean Hands) [Speed Duel]
All right lets get to this, Mary Sue v Kalek, apparently they're not going to become best friends after the tag duel.
Intro: First thing, I gotta commend you on perfectly introducing this new character to the league. Yes she's technically been in WC's previously, but never mind that, a duel is where things get official, and this post does well in showing off your intentions with her. You were delightfully grotesque with your description of the sewer and its effect on Mary Sue and her unicorns. The setup with Kalek works well, it definitely benefits from this meeting having been agreed upon pre-duel rather than the random encounter method that is more commonly used. I can't credit you for that, because it isn't really of you're doing, but what I can credit is Mary Sue's anticipation for this 'date' and her desire to turn Kalek into a pet. The only thing I'd nitpick about, is that you never really explained why they had made this arrangement in the first place, it makes sense from Mary Sue's perspective, but I'm not quite sure Kalek would agree to the meeting. I assume you're keeping it vague because of its immediacy after the tag duel.
Battle Post 1: At first the spider felt kind of random, but looking over Mary Sue’s abilities I see it does in fact make sense. If you could have found some way to foreshadow the spider a bit I think it might have been more effective in establishing that Mary Sue can be devious.
As for the main part of the post, you’re quality of description is impressive for this being a speed duel. With that being said this post feels drawn out. In part this is because Mary Sue has to hunt Kalek down, but I think slightly to much time was dedicated to that pursuit.
Battle Post 2: So uhhh… Mary is a tad crazy isn’t she? She reaalllly wants to kill Kalek. This was definitely your strongest post, I don’t really see anything to criticize from it. It would be acceptable in a normal duel, to find it placed inside a speed duel is pretty damned impressive.
Overall: What is there to say? Shame on you for not speed dueling earlier. There were a few pacing issues, and a few things I’d like to have seen explained more, but the quality of your writing didn’t seem to suffer at all under such short restraints. Kudos.
Intro: This is not really related to anything duel wise, but I find it personally amusing that the 8th frequency, commonly associated with goodness, is just radiating off of Mary Sue and her minions. You know I had read Tseng's intro post for the Tag Duel, but until just now I didn't fully comprehend just how sucessful she was at using her ability on Kalek. I can see why he might hold a grudge, though I still don't know what the two of them would schedule a meeting rather than just hunt each other down, but whatever questioning things like that is beyond petty. Is it weird that I feel sorry for that innocent little spider? Still you did a good job in establishing Kalek's more methodical nature when he's taking something seriously.
Normally I'd be opposed to something like the altering of Mary Sue's appearance, but given the character in question, I found it as a pretty damn good method of trying to get underneath the opponents skin, and you justified it well enough with Kalek's need to see something other than the most beautiful girl in the world. I do question Mary Sue's reaction to this. It feels a little forced, but at the same time she's a new character so it’s hard to write for her on the fly. The shout out of Ion at the end felt a bit random, is this another BRS thing? Not marking you off or anything for it, just genuinely curious.
Battle Post 1: I’m kind confused by Kalek’s hit and run tactics so far. He just struck me as a more gung-ho kind of fighter. I respect that Mary Sue if a pretty formidable opponent, Kalek’s abilities also put him on the higher end of the power scale. I bring this up mainly because Kalek was pretty much solely evasive in this post, and his one major attack with the lightning essentially happened off screen. The end energy javelin and surprise corpse attack was pretty cool though.
Battle Post 2:
quoteI just gotta say I’m a sucker for transitions like those. Pretty good post, the only thing I really question is Mary Sue’s dialogue. She just seems overly prone to rage to me. Outside of that though, Kalek dealing with his personal revulsion for necromancy, and then further dealing with the necessity of obliterating a city full of people was very well done. It could be easy to have it come off as a little, well Mary Sueish, but I think you pulled it off.
Overall: The only real criticism I have for you is the direction you took the duel in by avoiding direct conflict. You sort of handicap yourself in this manner, because your leaving all the action to your opponents. Outside of that though I really have nothing to mention, you are a very skilled speed duelist and it shows. The fact that this was not a comedic duel yet you still managed to do well speaks volumes about your ability.
I have to go with Tseng_Eclipse. She had the cooler scenes, and there was just more to her posts in general. Really Tseng, it’s getting to the point where I question if I should even judge the duels you’re in because I like your style of writing so much. Which isn’t to say anything negative about you Corruption, realistically this kind of output in a speed duel would place you the victor against many members of the NDL, it just happened that Tseng wasn’t one of them.
False hope leads to true despair, watch how quickly white turns to black.
Feb 15, 13 at 9:58am ^re: Corruption vs Tseng_Eclipse (Unclean Hands) [Speed Duel]
With her lung pierced by the remains of what had once been hers, Mary-Sue looked up at death.
She had known about the power Kalek wielded – she had known. And yet somehow, he still managed to surprise her. Once more, she had come so close to owning him and been denied. Frustrating. Where had she gone wrong?
But she had no time to focus on that. Pain bit at her from both within and without, every breath like breathing ash and simply existing a battle not to be consumed by the paradox of reality above her. And Kalek watched her, his eyes cold and determined. In a way, it was a look she knew. It was the look she wore when she knew she had someone in her grasp, so tightly that they couldn’t escape.
She wondered if he would appreciate knowing that.
Something moved at the corner of her vision. With magic wrapping around her in an attempt to protect her from the black hole, she turned her head. At the edge of the sewers, seemingly unseen by Kalek and unaffected by the writhing magic, there stood what looked like a human man, his head crowned with cold iron thorns. As she watched, her eyes growing ever wider, her heart beating faster in her breast, he took the crown from his head and held it in his hands, gripping it so the thorns pierced his flesh, and blood dripped to the sewer floor.
She mouthed a word – Fae? – and he simply smiled, and looked towards Kalek.
In the city above, Mary-Sue heard howling.
The ground above and below was crumbling. Anyone human would have died long ago, but the both of them still clung to existence, battered by the fight as they were. The floor of the city above cracked and fell, and with the breaking ground came hounds.
It made Mary-Sue angry when people murdered the creatures she had worked so hard to acquire, but having them die by her own hand was a different matter entirely.
Kalek had no choice but to switch his attention, just for a second, using what remained of one of his frequencies to stop them tearing him to pieces. That was all she needed – just a second of distraction. She reached for magic, and in her desperation, it responded. In her ears she heard the music of winter, in her eyes was the darkness of the unseelie, and her heart beat in time with the sídhe.
Ice burst out from her form, pouring from the hole where the spear of dead flesh had been before, replacing blood with the raw cold of winter. It covered her, cocooned her, and simultaneously she felt the pull on her body withdraw and the fire in her lungs cease to burn.
Before she had retreated fully into the Fae, she saw a wolf leap at Kalek, and the damnable man disappear into shadow as if he had never been there at all.
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