|REPLY TO THIS THREAD START NEW THREAD|
Feb 28, 12 at 1:52am ^Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
Log in to remove this advertisement
1 intro, 3 battle posts, one victory post. 15 minutes per post
This duel will take place in a well-populated city square with a large water fountain in the center and shops all around.
Duel will begin in 8 minutes (9pm EST)
Edit: Mar 24, 12 9:02am
|posts in thread|
Feb 28, 12 at 2:15am ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
Kalek stalked down the smooth pavement in the city square of Wedonkare, his mind a whirlwind of unanswered questions. Why did they call it a square when the actual area was a large circle? Were philosoraptors real? Why were there so many people crowded outside of the shops surrounding the outer edges of the circle-square instead of just going inside? But foremost on his mind was the question of: Who, when, why, and how!?
Scowling, he fished the letter out of his pocket that read:
"Greetings, good sir or madam,
It has come to our attention that there are a lot of duelists in the world. People with strange powers and abilities. In honor of all of you, we are holding a tournament where you will try to incapacitate your opponent as quickly as possible. Speed duels of a sort.
We would prefer that your participation be willing. However, we do have...other means of forcing participation if necessary. Please do not force us to use...more direct tactics."
Well, needless to say, he had ignored that silly letter. He was a member of the Organization. Taking part in something like this would go against everything they stood for and probably get him killed. Though the idea of taking on so many duelists at once appealed somewhat to the Duelist Hunter, he ignored it.
Then the second letter had come,
We regret that our hand has been forced in this matter. We have taken that which is most important to you. If you want it back, you will have to compete in our tournament until you lose or are victorious.
Do not look for it. You won't find it.
What you will find, however, is your first opponent in the
Kalek had immediately dismissed that as nonsense. At first. But then as he had proceeded with his day at the Organization, he began to notice it...the ladies weren't staring at him. Nobody would meet his eyes or giggle when he smiled at them. A cold chill had settled over the Anti Duelist then and he had run out of the building into the streets and tried to flirt unsuccessfully with dozens of women.
It had hit home, then. That which he valued most...
Somehow, they had stolen his sexiness.
Rage coursed through Kalek and a vein in his neck throbbed at the thought as he crushed both letters in his hands.
"Stealing a man's sexiness...an unforgivable crime!" he shouted, getting several odd stares for his outburst. Kalek ignored them. He was going to compete in this tournament, win, and then kick the ass of whomever had dared to rob him of that most important thing!
A sensation settled over the Duelist Hunter, a prickle in the back of his head, the sense that came with a spike in the First Frequency. A duelist was near - his opponent. Eyes narrowed into a murderous glare, Kalek scanned the crowds. He was going to beat this duelist so HARD and then he would get his sexiness back!
A scream brought his gaze over to a group of girls, but what Kalek had took to be a scream of panic were actually screams of swooning. Over a young man with blue hair. Kalek stared daggers at the man who seemed to be uncomfortable around so many girls. Suddenly, Kalek's blood was afire. The swooning girls, the strangely attractive blue hair...
"You must be the guy that stole my sexiness!" Kalek shouted, not realizing he had put himself in front of the man. The blue-haired pretty-boy frowned, perplexed and his fangirls glared balefully at Kalek.
"Get lost, freak," one said.
The Anti Duelist stumbled back as though struck. "Oh yeah!?" Kalek demanded, "I'll show you girls sex appeal!"
He could not be out sexied; even with his sexiness gone, he should at least be able to manage something! So he did the only thing he could:
He began to strip as seductively as he could. First his jacket and shirt, then his boots. He cast many furtive gazes over at the women watching him and grinned.
He began to almost dance out of his pants when the girl who had spoken up before began to scream.
"A pervert! Someone call the police!"
Kalek winced. It...it wasn't working. He really had lost it...
He hastily finished taking his pants off and tossed them next to his other discarded articles of clothing. He channeled the Third Frequency and formed a blazing white sword of pure energy and fixed the perplexed gentleman with the fiercest gaze he could and demanded, "GIVE ME BACK MY SEXINESS!"
|posts in thread|
Feb 28, 12 at 2:31am ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
So a tournament of such. And in a town? How are they going to make that work.
Clief had made his way to the city of Wedonkare. It had all the essential factors to make the Tyen cringe in his skin. He hated crowds, he hated them to an extent he avoided them at all costs. Still, he was interested in the tournament and would put his fears to the side for a test of his strength.
That letter said something about duelists. I wonder what they are? Oh I know! It must just be a name given to the competitors!
Clief had found himself in the centre of the city, otherwise dubbed the City Square. Wondering to himself the logic in naming it due to it being a circle, he noticed a rather large water fountain in the centre. He was thirsty after all and was desperate for a drink.
Where's the harm..
He walked up to the fountain and looked at it for a few seconds. It was very detailed in squiggly lines making it very pretty to look at. He broke his gaze and dunked his head under water, sucking up all he could manage. After he had a good portion of water he lifted his head out and shook it to dry his hair. Surprisingly it had worked as he planned, leaving his hair dry and spiky. Hearing a commotion going on behind the fountain he wondered what was going on, but wasn't keen on moving to the growing crowd. Instead he waited for a small gap to appear to realise what was happening.
“That man has no clothes! I must help him!” he yelled.
Quickly running around the fountain and over to the swarming crowd, he tried to push his way through but to no avail. Instead, he decided to jump over the crows and land in the middle. Taking a step back he did just that, landing in a perfect fashion.
“You need clothes. Look here are some next to you, put them on,” he said the naked man.
Clief hadn't realised that the girls in the crowd and moved their attention away from the naked man and now focused on him.
This is a minute late due to it not pasting in the text bar? I couldnt figure out why and noticed a selection in the right click bar that said "paste as normal text". I dont know why it did it, but hopefully i dont get penelised for it :/
|posts in thread|
Feb 28, 12 at 2:46am ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
"I'm sorry, sir...I don't understand," Blue Hair said, "But you really should put some clothes on. You could get sick or something."
Kalek stared at him. The man was so oblivious to his own sexiness that he wasn't even fazed! That was...unacceptable!
He waved his sword of arcane energy, "YOU. ME. DUEL. NOW!" he roared, lunging at Blue Hair. The man dodged, brow furrowed in anger.
"Hey, there's no need for that!" His hand went behind his back. Kalek rounded, a snarl etched onto his face.
A crystalline sword met Kalek's own arcane blade unscathed. Kalek grimaced and danced away.
"Give me back my sexiness, Blue Hair!" he demanded again.
"What!?" Blue Hair demanded, "I didn't take it! How does that even happen!?"
"Don't lie to me!" Kalek bellowed, engaging the fellow once again, but Blue Hair met him blow for blow. Kalek swung downward in a wide arc and Blue Hair met it with a block. He flowed into a shallow swipe and found his blade parried and knocked aside. He turned it into a thrust that the man danced away from, ending with both opponents facing one another, swords held in front of them.
"This is ridiculous. Please, if you'd just think rationally..."
"How do you explain all of the fangirls!?" Kalek demanded.
"It's the blue hair. Your women are attracted to it for some reason. Why else?"
"You expect me to believe that!?"
"WELL I DON'T!"
Kalek channeled the Fifth Frequency and felt the Blood Magic flow into him, granting him super enhanced strength, speed, and reactions. Blue Hair's face was even sharper and Kalek could hear the ring of his sword as he shifted stances warily. Kalek fell into a series of rapid blows, all lightning fast, but shallow. He was starting to calm down now; enough to think tactically. Best to test his opponent a bit more...
Blue Hair's face turned to consternation as he flowed from form to form, meeting all of Kalek's strikes. A sheen of sweat soon decorated his face, and Kalek's own body gleamed. Slowly, the sounds of the screaming bystanders faded. His surroundings dimmed. There was only Blue Hair and the next strike.
The man brought his sword down over his head and Kalek turned his blade down and deflected the blow with his hilt. Blue Hair stumbled back, off balance, and Kalek kicked him in the ribs. He skidded several feet along the pavement, skidding into a revolving door of a shop that sold sex toys, unless Kalek was mistaken. But now wasn't the time for that sort of thing. This was much more important. He pursued his opponent through the revolving door and found him shaking his head and getting to his feet.
"I'll ask one last time. Give me back my sexiness, Blue Hair." Kalek said.
The man worked his shoulders and arms, "I told you, I haven't taken anything. And my name is Clief."
Kalek nodded, "Well, Clief, I'm Kalek, and whether you know it or not, I'm going to take back my sexiness from you here and now!"
|posts in thread|
Feb 28, 12 at 2:58am ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
Clief soon realised this man was not going to let up any time soon. He had no idea how he had managed to steal someone's sexiness and nor did he overly care, but he didn't have time to be fighting this man when there was a tournament to fight in.
“Alright, i'll deal with you quickly then,” Clief said, making a bold statement.
“I don't care, just give me sexy back!”
Clief raised his hand up and pulled energy from his body into it. He shot off his trademark fireball at his opponent, who then tried to parry. He had just managed to shoot off his own flames to redirect Clief's fireball.
What the!? How did he manage that, and why was it so delayed! Where did his sword go!?
“Lets see what I can do,” Kalek said smirking.
Holding out his own hand he mimicked Clief's movements, only more than one fireball shot out of his palm. Clief's eye's widened as he witnessed this display, but he had no time to contemplate on it, he had to move. He swiftly dodged the first with a sidestep, then pounced forwards, leaving a trail of destruction behind him as the fireballs hit the wall. He almost glided past Kalek and back out onto the street, sliding to a stop and turning around he focused some more energy into his sword this time.
Three arcs of energy emitted from Clief's blade as he swung it in the direction of the building, smashing the glass and everything that was inside.
“Impressive, but not enough to keep my sexiness from meeeee!” Kalek screamed from beside him.
How did he move that fast!? I didn't even see it!
Kalek brought out his white energy sword once more, a stern look on his face. “Give. Back. Sexy!!”
|posts in thread|
Feb 28, 12 at 3:13am ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
Kalek stared at Clief warily. Despite his bravado, he had been genuinely surprised by the duelist's abilities. He could keep up with him even with Blood magic enhancing his abilities, and he had some minor abilities with the elements as well.
He took a deep breath and stopped channeling the Fifth Frequency. There was always a longing after he let go of the Blood Magic as his senses went back to normal. It was as though he were no longer really perceiving the world and what he saw now was just a shallow reflection of the clarity that Blood Magic gave him. But if he channeled it too long, it would begin to tax him and he would lose too much blood. And his sexiness. And that was unacceptable.
He brought his arcane sword over his head, as though to strike at Clief, and the young warrior, anticipating a blow, raised his sword to block, but Kalek smiled, letting the crackling white energy vanish. He channeled the seventh Frequency - that with the power over Shadows - and melted away. The store they were in cast a great many shadows in the mid afternoon sun with its many shelves and light fixtures. He burst out of one to Clief's left and punched the man in the face as hard as he could and then melted back into the shadow, emerging from behind and kicking him in the back of the head. Clief whirled around to where Kalek had been and the Duelist Hunter emerged beneath him, and pulled his legs out from under him. Clief yelped as he thudded to the ground, his sword coming out of his grip. Kalek appeared once more and kicked the Crystal Sword away from the young warrior and let the Seventh Frequency go even as it dwindled away to nothing.
He opened his mouth to gloat, but Clief was already moving almost on reflexes alone and brought out another sword from the scabbard at his hip, slashing at Kalek. The Anti Duelist cried out as the blade bit into his flesh, carving a long, but shallow cut diagonally down his chest. Kalek hissed as Clief picked up his other sword and leveled both blades at him. Barely thinking, Kalek seized a pink dildo from the shelf and hurled it at Clief's face. The blue haired-man slashed it in half, but it provided enough distraction for Kalek to dart past him back into the circular square.
He channeled the Second Frequency which granted him power over the elements and seized the water flowing out of the fountain and hurled it at the warrior as he emerged from the store, showering him in a torrent of icy water. Grinning, Kalek froze the water around Clief.
He nodded satisfactorily and began to prepare to finish the duel with a fireball that would leave the warrior a burning heap.
"Freeze! Police, put your hands in the air now!"
Kalek frowned. The entire city's police seemed to be arrayed around the City Square, all guns locked on him.
"Really? I didn't even know the police existed in the NDL...how inconvenient."
Still, it did pose a problem...he couldn't hurt them. He was a member of the Organization! This was what he was meant to prevent, but...
His attention was brought back to Clief as the icy prison began to crack.
|posts in thread|
Feb 28, 12 at 3:28am ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
Clief broke out of the ice fairly easily. He had melted it slightly by focusing his energy around his body, causing him to heat up, then he simply broke free. Ice shattered everywhere and began melting rapidly in the heat of the day. The Tyen smirked to himself as the police surround Kalek the naked man, only to realise that they were surrounding him as well.
“Don't get in my way, I've had enough crap today!” he yelled at them, still closing in.
Clief could see them getting closer and closer, he was starting to get a little claustrophobic as people surrounded him.
“Get back!” he yelled at them.
They weren't listening, after all it was their job to apprehend people who disturbed the peace. Clief wasn't thinking rationally though as his fear of other people took over his self control. Raising his Cyrstal sword he swung it three times and smashed it in the ground. It emitted a bright blue light, blinding everyone around him. As the light faded everyone began to panic as they saw the ferocious Duegan behind Clief.
“A Dragon!? Aawww hell no!” yelled Kalek, “But my sexiness! I have to get it back!”
He ran past the now screaming police, towards Clief. The Tyen spotted him coming for him and was ready. He shot off a fireball at his opponent, who again redirected it away. A couple of seconds later his speed increased again, this time slightly faster.
What is with this guy!? Everything about him keeps changing with a delay.
Duegan took to the skies on command, circling above them like a hawk. Clief began to run towards Kalek now, sword raised.
|posts in thread|
Feb 28, 12 at 3:43am ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
A dragon. A fucking dragon. Why is it always dragons!? Kalek thought wildly as he threw himself at Clief with the intent of engaging his armed opponent in hand-to-hand combat. There had to be a way of dealing with the dragon...it was what concerned Kalek the most.
He weaved around Clief's strike and drove his elbow into the Tyen's gut. The blue-haired warrior coughed and stumbled back, glancing at the dragon, brow furrowed.
Kalek paused. That was odd. He pressed his offensive and battered at Clief, but the man soon adapted his techniques to combat Kalek's change in style. Out of the corner of his eye, Kalek glimpsed the dragon swooping down toward him.
Grimacing, he rolled out of the way at the same moment that Clief did as the dragon's wings buffeted the air and it dove over the two combatants. Clief's gaze followed the dragon, and he gave the barest of nods. Interesting...
Kalek had a hunch. A small one, but it was worth trying. He stopped channeling the Fifth Frequency again and channeled the Fourth Frequency instead - that which allowed him psychic abilities.
"Hi!" he directed at the dragon. "I'm Kalek, and I'm naked. Do you like penis?"
The dragon roared in fury, "Leave my mind, foul creature!"
"How are you doing that!?" Clief's voice demanded.
Kalek grinned. So he had been right. He withdrew his presence from the dragon and leveled several psychic attacks at Clief's mind and the link between him and the dragon.
Both warrior and dragon howled in outrage at the invasive contact and Clief's sword clattered to the ground and the dragon - Duegan, Kalek thought was his name, began to plummet.
Kalek mentally congratulated himself. He had won.
He blinked. Something was wrong. The link was strengthening and now he was being attacked! Kalek retreated into his own mind and stared wide-eyed as Duegan and Clief fused together in blinding flash of light. Kalek cried out and scrabbled at his head as the Frequencies spiked alarmingly. When the light faded, a blue aura flared violently around the blue-haired warrior and a pair of wings jutted from his shoulder blades.
"What the fu-" Kalek didn't even have time to react as Clief drove his fist into Kalek's ribs and threw him crashing through the glass windows of an appliance store. Before he could get to his feet, Clief was upon him and seized his head and smashed it into the ground several times before lobbing him into the air.
Kalek's vision was blurring to the point where he could sense the Frequency spikes hurtling toward him at terrifying speeds. He channeled the Eleventh Frequency and propelled himself as far away from where he had been in the air as he could with altered gravity.
Suddenly, the air was a haze of fiery heat as Clief shot past where he had been.
Kalek landed, trying to clear his vision.
This man was monstrous.
He grimaced. He was out of options now. This was all that was left to him. He regarded Clief coldly and channeled the Tenth Frequency. The future was displayed before him. Every movement Clief made before he could make it. Every result of every action Kalek could take flashed before him. He channeled the Fifth and Third Frequencies, Blood and Arcane energies flowing into him, and charged.
In twenty seconds, this fight would be over. He would either defeat Clief in that time, or he would collapse under the strain of the Tenth Frequency, and lose the duel and possibly his life.
He intended to make them count.
|posts in thread|
Feb 28, 12 at 3:57am ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
Clief spotted Kalek not too far off from the explosion. With all reason lost he charged in for an attack. Kalek was ready, clearly lost of breathe. He didn't have long left in this fight. The Tyen raised his sword as he landed on the ground and leaped forth. With full strength he swung his sword at the naked man. It was parried, but the force still pushed Kalek back a few meters. A shocking look came over the man's face. The pure strength of Clief had at least tripled from the last attack. Clief went in for another attack, raising his hand and firing a barrage of fire balls at the man, who in turn dodged a couple before redirecting them around his body. The pure heat of Clief's blast's were almost overwhelming.
“My....sexiness!” he gasped.
Still on the attack Clief disappeared from sight, but Kalek still managed to parry his sword, again being pushed back several meters. He then disappeared himself, leaving Clief to stare at nothing. The Tyen's head however was moving to the left, as though watching something. In this form he could see energy, it was as though the man was in perfect sight. Every detail about him was visible. Clief again raised his sword as he watched the invisible man circle him. He was content in waiting for him to strike.
”Clief, we will always be friends. No matter what happens I will never forget you. Will you ever forget me?” asked a very beautiful girl.
“I could never forget you Hael.”
He raised his hand to her face and smiled.
“Hael..?” Clief spoke.
The energy sword appeared in front of the Tyen's body. With no time to react he was slashed across his already existing scar. Blood began seeping through his finger as he held his hand on the wound.
|posts in thread|
Feb 28, 12 at 12:39pm ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
Judging this before Steven vs Versen because speed duels are quicker
Intro Post: Good to see your tradition of carefully-researched town names continuing.
I would critique this post, but I am afraid I'm using all my effort not to burst out in hysterical laughter in the middle of the Union.
Pfft, anyway. So critique:
Of course philosoraptors are real. This statement is foolish.
"city of Wedonkare We will" - I assume you want a full stop after Wedonkare. Otherwise, We is capitalised incorrectly.
I was so pleased at your consistent double-spacing at the beginning of this post, then you went back into your sporadic single-double spacing and I was sad
Also, this post was far too hilarious
Battle post 1: As the world's biggest blue hair fangirl, I gotta back up Clief's statements here.
Why do you not double-space? Every time you single-space dialogue, a puppy cries. Or a Maxwell explodes. On a puppy.
I would have preferred a bit more fighting breaking up the dialogue in the first bit of the post. You had a 2:1 dialogue:fighting ratio, give or take, in your second single-space section.
Also, is Kalek legitimately naked? If so,
I really liked the last part of this post, when you got into the fight proper. But if the Sex Toy Shop doesn't come back later I'll be upset.
Battle post 2: SEXINESS
*fawns over properly double-spaced post* It's dialogue that makes you single-space, isn't it? And yes, I am going to keep banging on about that, thanks for asking
Oooh, shadows. And I love how you use them, especially Clief's reactions as someone totally unprepared for that.
I'm unsure as to the extent of the icy prison, but I've always been wary of encasing people in ice. It should straight-up kill a man, even a magical man unless they're particularly special, if they're fully encased. If not, I'm surprised Clief didn't counter with magic of his own. Still, a fairly minor problem with a great post.
Battle post 3: *obligatory remark on paragraph spacings*
Of course it's always dragons, Kalek This is Murphy's Law in exquisite action.
"I'm Kalek, and I'm naked. Do you like penis?" - Ok, I legitimately lost it
This post was an excellent final battle post. So much epic, so much ass-kicking, even if it was mostly Kalek's ass being kicked. I'm surprised he's still conscious after being slammed repeatedly into the ground, but I guess this is Kalek at the end of the day.
So, let's talk about time...
Intro post: I think there's a continuity error here. Kalek was stripping as a result of all the town's women fangirling over Clief, but you had him only enter the scene as soon as Kalek was done stripping. (Also, I think his left his underwear on, but it's hard to tell with the difference between American and English usage of 'pants')
[After-reading edit: Ok, no, he's totally naked ]
Although I gotta say, I love all this ridiculous meta-ness and the incorporation of Clief's fangirls into a duel at last
Battle post 1: It's official, this duel is plain hilarious
Clief's confusion amuses me greatly. A nice switching of Kalek's channeled Frequency, and done correctly too with his sword disappearing, which I approve of.
The battling here itself was on the whole pretty good. The switch between Kalek channeling frequencies was kind of awkward despite the accuracy of his abilities, and I'm surprised you didn't include the reactions of the townspeople to having all these fireballs being flung around - Kalek had tuned them out through blood magic, but Clief was still fully aware of his surroundings as far as I'm aware. Although I guess the fact that they're in the sex toy shop (why was this not dwelled upom? ) might influence that.
But still, overall, a good post. And I only penalise people when they start edging into three or four minutes late, which implys they legitimately ran over.
Battle post 2: Ooh, now this I like as a legitimate reason to survive ice, which means I'll retract my criticism against Corruption at the end of his last post. Not that he'll read this.
There was... not very much battling in this, really. Aside from his escape from the ice prison and the fireball, it was more setting up for battling.
Also, even the police of Obligatory Fantasy Town practice kettling. Truly the police of the multiverse are a terrible bunch *shakes head sadly*
Also where the heck does Duegan fit in a square full of people?! Did he squash someone? I bet he squashed someone. He should be ashamed.
I did like this post, though, lack of battle aside. It was a fun enough read.
Battle post 3: Considering Corruption had just set you up with super time bendy Kalek, you didn't do a huge amount with it. The post was still pretty awesome, but I feel you could have done more with a three-frequency-channeling Kalek vs Dragon Fusion Clief.
There were a lot more weirdly-written sentences in this post as opposed to the previous ones, which is to say I noticed them. Just little things, like "clearly lost of breathe." and "A shocking look came over the man's face." Still worth noting, I feel.
I'm... confused as to why he was suddenly remembering Hael? (Also I'm upset that I only just realised it's Leah backawards). There didn't seem to be any lead-in to that, I would have liked a bit more elaboration.
Damn, but this duel was a good (and hilarious) read. I think, though, that mostly for his last battle post I have to give this one to Corruption. He managed a lot more writing in the time frame in general, which by its very nature gave him more room to elaborate and add in more interesting scenes to the battle, although he did trip up with his first battle post being quite lacklustre.
That said, I'd love to see a duel between the two of you without a time limit, given how good a read this one was.
I'm going to tag finalfight here, as he said he wanted to see Clief's tough time with social situations elaborated on in a duel and here it plays in perfectly.
|posts in thread|
Feb 29, 12 at 11:12am ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
So I've been commandeered for a judgment. Super judging powers, away!
Intro: I would like to start off by saying this is possibly the most ludicrous duel concept I have ever seen. And I love it.
Right off the bat, I'll start my actual judgment by being a broken record: "in the city of Wedonkare We will be watching closely...” Judging by the general structure of the sentence, I’ll presume there was supposed to be a period here. I’m fairly confident you just missed it out in the process of finishing the post in time, but I’m noting it anyway because your post has me scrambling for nitpicks, damn it.
Also, the sudden switch from tasty double spacing back to the squished dialogue sandwich was kind of jarring/disheartening.
Battle Post 1: In the words of Chris Rock and Gwen Stefani, this shit is bananas.
Squished dialogue sandwich whyyyyyyy. Your lack of double spacing makes the Sven a sad panda. Also, uh…they are in a fetish shop. Just…erm…they are in a sex shop. I do not know how to respond to this.
Bit of an uneventful battle post in terms of actual battle, although the dialogue had no business being so ridiculously amusing. The ending was coo’, though.
Battle Post 2: H…h…he just…Kalek just…he really…HE JUST ATTACKED CLIEF WITH A BENDY PINK DILDO. PARDON ME. I NEED TO GO DIE FROM PURE, CONCENTRATED AMUSEMENT.
So, frankly, I found this post amazing. I enjoyed the beefier level of content, as well as how seamlessly you integrated humor in all the right places. Like the aforementioned dildo incident. About which I shall not go into further detail, for fear of dying. Again.
Risky move sticking him in ice, though, given the nature of suffocating environments. Although I suppose this is Clief we’re talking about, so I suppose it’s not too much of a stretch to just assume he’d badass his way out.
Battle Post 3: Yes, Kalek. A motherfucking dragon. I imagine he does not, however, like penis.
Frankly, this post was awesome. As conclusions go, this is just about as good as a man could possibly hope for from a speed duel. Sure, the protagonist’s(?) ass was the one being royally wrecked, but I really don’t think that counts against it. It flowed ridiculously well, and I found it really easy to imagine what was going on.
My criticism pillar of squishy dialogue sandwiches, however, still applies. [/snob]
Intro: OH GOD FANGIRLS *huddles in corner*
On an immediate read-through, I can’t help but notice the plot hole; that is, Corruption’s intro made it clear Clief’s arrival was the reason Kalek’s sexiness commited sexy suicide, whereas yours had him naked before Clief even arrived. Biiit of a disconnect.
Also: ”…he said the naked man.” Your “to” is tardy, good sir.
Battle Post 1: HE’S TAKIN’ SEXY BACK…*ahem*
So the fighting here was fairly airtight all around and flowed rather quite well, which makes quite an appealing contrast to the now ages-old duel we had. Generally, the post itself is pretty solid; kind of light on the humor by comparison, but quite easy to read in terms of battle. I think both of your intros were better, but I’m having a hard time finding much to criticize.
But I can nitpick your non-capitalised ‘I’. Because I can.
Battle Post 2: And this is what I mean by badassing his way out. Also, DRAGON.
Somehow, this post left me with a feeling of wanting…more, if you get my meaning. While Duegan almost never fails to be awesome, I really think this post could have done with more action on his part, since his entry typically marks the proverbial fecal matter hitting the proverbial cooling unit. However, I suppose I can’t mark you down too much for it – speed duel, and all that jazz.
It’s also worth mentioning that I am currently entertaining myself through imagining the state of the square’s post-dragon architecture.
Battle Post 3: You know, had Kalek really died, “My…sexiness!” would have simultaneously been the best and worst last words in the history of everything.
For a conclusion, this post was certainly short, particularly given the opening Corruption gave you in his final post. Granted, the action it did have was inarguably solid, but I still feel you could have topped off with a fair bit more of it. Additionally, the grammar Nazi in me – or rather, the grammar Nazi that is me – could not help but pick out a few irregularities in your sentence structuring: “Kalek was ready, clearly lost of breathe.”; “A shocking look came over the man's face.” Small things, by comparison, but I’ll be the first to admit that I tend to make something of a big deal out of sentence structure.
Also, that flashback confuzzled me.
So this is one of those duels that doesn’t just deserve more time, it demands it. And good sirs, I demand that you do when this tournament is through.
As it is, though, my vote goes to Corruption, as he proves, once again, that he is the undisputed heavyweight champion of shenanigans. That is not to say that Clief turned in a bad performance, however – far, far from it, as I all too thoroughly enjoyed his posts as well. I just feel that Corruption’s humor came out on top(DILDO), and that his content held itself up just a little bit better.
"Don't be afraid of the dark and cold..."
|posts in thread|
Feb 29, 12 at 12:10pm ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
Senny and SventheCrusader I thought i would just point this out as i haven't had time to update my character profile yet, but Senny you should know this already having read mine and tiger's Duel. Clief has no control over his dragon fusion state and is pure instinct and killing machine. The flashbacks are him getting his sanity back for a brief moment, which caused the distraction that was needed, and i needed to use, otherwise lets face it, Clief was too strong in this form in any other scenario really...
Just though i'd clear it up as it was brought up in both of your judgements, and in all honestly i hadn't wanted dragon fusion to be used outside of the Tiger duel as it hadn't been refined or expanded upon in my character profile. But i had to use what i was given so yeah Thats all
|posts in thread|
Mar 24, 12 at 9:01am ^re: Corruption vs Clief - Speed Duel Tourniquet Round 2 (Finished)
Kalek's blade struck home, leaving a gash across Clief.
The Tyen snarled and swiped at the Duelist Hunter, who had already ducked under the blow before it had begun.
Kalek gathered the arcane energy around him into a tight barrier. Heat rose around him.
A pillar of blue flames erupted beneath him. He ignored it. It would not be fatal. The white barrier around him flowed and gathered into his hands.
White light engulfed Clief as Kalek thrust his hands outward until they were inches away from the Tyen's chest. The arcane beam blasted into him, and the earth-shattering roar that followed confirmed that the Anti-Duelist had at least hit something.
Kalek let the Tenth Frequency go and stared into the smoking rubble where he knew Clief and Duegan would be, separated and unconscious, but still alive.
He regarded the wreckage silently before turning and limping away from it. He didn't have the strength to finish Clief, and his own life was in terrible danger. Kalek staggered into an alley, knocking over several bins as he did, until he found a safe place hidden from curious eyes and began tending to himself with Holy magic.
When he had finished, he wrapped himself in illusion so that he would be invisible, and slept, dreaming of future matches in the tournament that would be much easier than this one.
|posts in thread|
|[All dates in (PST) time]||Threads List « Next Newest Next Oldest »|
|REPLY TO THIS THREAD START NEW THREAD|
Powered by neoforums v2.3.3c (Bolieve)
Copyright Neo Era Media, Inc. 1999-2015