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Feb 18, 12 at 1:51am ^Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
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Speed duel: 20 minutes per post
Setting: A forest made of metal trees with cameras from every branch.
Starting my post now, so first post will be at 9:20pm EST time. aka, 20 minutes from now
1 Introduction Post
2 Battle Posts
1 Post for the Victor!
Edit: Feb 18, 12 8:08am
Feb 18, 12 at 2:19am ^re: Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
The day was bright, and Nysik was walking on a rugged dirt path he had found on his travels. The road went on for several miles seeming like it would never end. Eventually Nysik reached a forest. The trees were short but there seemed to be nothing behind the forest. Maybe there is something I can do here, Nysik thought to himself. He approached the forest, and he took careful caution to make sure he would not fall into a trap.
The trees had almost a metal smell to them. That doesn't seem right. Slowly peeking ahead, Nysik stepped into the suspicious forest. As soon as he took his back foot into the forest a giant stone wall surrounded him. Giant stone walls appeared all around him in a dome shape. Then stain glass connected the ceiling of the dome.
"I should have known," Nysik muttered.
Turning around, Nysik examined the wall to see if there was a way out. There are no weak points in this wall, there is no way I could break this. All of a sudden the normal trees were barricaded with metal. The light that was shining through the windows reflected off the trees. Nysik stumbled away from the light that was bouncing off of the trees. The temperature had been raised at least 40 degrees.
Nysik heard a mechanical noise coming from all around him, on the trees. Mini cameras were raising out of the trees. They were carefully focused on Nysik. Before things could get more weird, a type of loud speaker turned on.
"WELCOME! How are you gentlemen today?" a deep voice echoed from the speaker. Then the speaker clicked off.
"I'd like to get out of here, thanks," Nysik replied sarcastically.
Turning back on, the speaker replied, "Haha, that is what I thought you two would say!"
You two? What is that supposed to mean.
"If you two gentlemen are wondering why you are here. It is because you have been entered into a tournament and you may not escape until one of you is clearly victorious. Let me introduce you to one another. Nysik meet Johno, Johno meet Nysik. I will allow you two to find each other. But do not tarry, for the longer the battle wages, the hotter this battlefield will get." The speaker clicked off and Nysik was left in the heated forest, alone with an enemy he does not know.
Feb 18, 12 at 2:40am ^re: Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
The sunset far off coated the forest in an orange glow. Regardless of the vibrancy something about the forest concerned the Aussie. Nothing seemed normal about the environment at all. The land he walked was dead flat, no bumps, no knolls. Flat and hard as cement. Wrapping his knuckles on a nearby tree they too seemed to be oddly solid. It wasn't just a gut feeling any more, he knew something was wrong.
He pulled out the letter he had received. It was written on old style parchment with very elegant yet hard to read text: You are invited to a grand affair hosted by a most grand lord. The location of the affair will be held at his Grand Manor within upon his grand land. He location is marked upon your grand copy of your map.
It was clear to Johno that the man had very little literature skills or was very conceited. Regardless though the seal and envelope it had come in as well as the detail of the map looked legitimate, the forest however was proving to be a rather large contradiction.
“Bugger, I must of got lost,” he muttered to himself.
A large growl roared from the ground behind him. Turning via instinct he could do little more than watch as thick giant walls erected themselves around the forest; the trees revealing their true metallic form. If Johno had been freaked out before hand he was now easily considered terrified. The trees weren't just hard it seemed; each branch had a camera welded to it, swivelling to focus on Johno's horrified expression. The tips of the branches were like swords; sticking out ready to impale Johno the first opportunity they had.
"WELCOME! How are you gentlemen today?" A voice boomed from speakers above.
“Bloody GRAND, now get the heck out of here!”
"Haha, that is what I thought you two would say!"
“Good on yah mate now... wait us two?”
"If you two gentlemen are wondering why you are here. It is because you have been entered into a tournament and you may not escape until one of you is clearly victorious. Let me introduce you to one another. Nysik meet Johno, Johno meet Nysik. I will allow you two to find each other. But do not tarry, for the longer the battle wages, the hotter this battlefield will get."
“You bloody mongrel! Should have known this was a damn trap!” He roared at the speaker box above.
'I wonder what the bloke meant by the hotter it will get?'
End time was 10:40
Just putting an edit here for sky. I meant sunrise. I stuffed up. That's going to cost me pretty big. (Since sunset would be falling dark, sunrise bright. I accidentally broke consistency in our posts. Stupid no time to check my posts)
Feb 18, 12 at 3:00am ^re: Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
Battle post one:
Slipping into stealth, Nysik carefully proceeded into the forest. The trees were already shining brightly in his eyes, but he had to look for a person that may have special powers as well. He circles the dome shaped areana several times. This is getting me no where. I will stay here hidden and wait for him to come to me. Nysik stayed silently back against a tree carefully pacing his breath so he was not to be found. Behind him he heard cameras turn in a direction that was away from him. They were pointing straight behind the tree he was in. Slowly, Nysik raised his head to look up in the camera. In the reflection of the lense he saw his opponent. Johno looked well built, not strong but not fat either. He also was wearing sunglasses, making it seem like the light was not effecting him at all. He seemed calm, not suspecting that Nysik was behind the tree.
The cameras took a sudden turn back to Nysik for what seemed like no reason. Treading lightly, Nysik went around the tree and behind Johno. Raising his dagger out of its sheath, he went into a stabbing motion towards Johno's ribs. As fast as lightning Johno turned around quickly attacking him with a knife that Nysik did not spot before. Nysik replied just as quick with his daggers; blocking each of his attacks. It looked like Johno was putting no effort into attacking Nysik. It looked like he was concentrating for an opening, a place where he could strike the final blow in just one hit.
His fighting style was different than Nysik had ever seen. He lays low and holds his knife in a reversed position, which seemed counter-productive to Nysik. Grunting started to emanate from their bodies. The temperature was increasing slowly; a great amount of sweat continued to pour down their faces. Keeping his grip tight on his daggers, Nysik continued exchanging hits with Johno. Nysik was starting to wear out, and Johno noticed it. He took this time to pull a small throwing knife quickly out of under his shirt. It was so perfectly executed; it was as if he had spent hundreds of hours practicing the technique on throwing the knives. The small knife went straight into Nysik's right arm causing him to drop his dagger Chaos. The pain was harsh and did not let up.
"You little..." was all Nysik managed to say.
Johno did not bother responding but continued laying blows onto Nysik. Nysik blocked most of the attacks but one or two were let in. His dagger hit the top of his knee and right hand which were both now covered in blood. Eventually, Nysik got in on hit with the dagger he had left. The poison from Death seeped into his blood and Johno screeched in pain. By now the stadium was at least two times hotter.
Feb 18, 12 at 3:19am ^re: Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
Battle Post 1:
Johno Staggered backwards holding his wounded side. The heat inside the arena was intense but the heat now burning through his blood stream was something else entirely.
“You bastard! What the bloody hell was that?”
His opponent smiled a vicious grin, “Poison. My dagger Death here has a very special trait. A very deadly one.”
Now that he could see his opponent without concentrating on striking he saw that his foe looked old. He was tall for his age but covered in wrinkles and scars non the less. It was actually an amasing surprise to see that such an old codger was so fast. Johno hadn't even seen where he appeared from. He couldn't have explained how he had managed to turn on his opponent; instinct was the only real explanation. Aside from the ringing from Johno's Saxe on the man called Nysik 's dagger the man had made no sound at the start of their battle. Now of course both were heaving from the heat. Suddenly the pain hit his neck and Johno's breath was cut off completely.
“Ah good. It seems this battle is adjourned.”
Jonathan wasn't going to give up that easy. Flicking the light blue switch downward he called upon Clief's healing powers. He hadn't wanted to rely on any energy draining techniques this early in but he knew their was no choice. It was either that or die a slow agonising death.
Putting his hand to his wound he began the process of healing. His enemy looked at him confused. More than likely he thought the Australian was clutching his wound in agony. It was too late before Nysik realised what he was doing.
“You shoeless bogan! You got me good with that one” His poisoner gave no reply. Instead the old folk picked up his other Dagger before disappearing.
“Hang on, what the hell! You can't just go vanishing on me! That's bloody cheating!”
The arena dome fell silent, silent and hot!
Feb 18, 12 at 3:40am ^re: Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
Battle Post 2:
This is exactly where I wanted him. He is annoyed and tired. It looked as if that healing drained his energy. Nysik was circling around Johno and crunching leaves that fell off the trees before they turned into metal to trick him up. Maybe an aerial attack would be best. Nysik climbed up a tree that Johno was just underneath. It was obvious Johno was getting pissed off, he started swinging his dagger around, hoping he would hit a target. When Nysik reached the branch just above Johno was prepared to leap but the cameras slowly turned towards him, as if they could see through his stealth. Shhhhhh, cameras! I guess it is now or never. Nysik leaped off the branch but the turn of the camera seemed to have caught his opponent's attention. Nysik landed straight onto Johno shoving him into the hard dirt, keeping his dagger just over his throat.
"I bloody had the feeling you were above me, but you think you have bested me, don't you, mate?" the man smirked.
Somehow even with his strength drained his healing spell he used he quickly stabbed Nysik straight into the chest. Blood came pouring out of Nysik's mouth onto Johno's face.
"Bloody hell!" shouted Johno pushing Nysik off of his body. Nysik was in a coughing storm, spewing blood everywhere. When his fit ended he wiped the blood off his mouth and gave Johno the death stare who was sitting there contently.
"Have ya had enough?" he asked mockingly.
Out of pure rage Nysik charged with all of his might towards the young man. "Yaaah!" Nysik tackled Johno was hard as he could straight in the stomach. Nysik heard all of Johno's breath come out. Johno quickly regained his air back and started hacking away at Nysik. Nysik was still filled with rage, easily powering him enough to block Johno's attacks.
The air in the stadium was so intense now it was getting difficult to breath. A mixture of sweat and blood were on both bodies. Still Johno attacking and Nysik blocking, Nysik was eventually able to hit the dagger out of Johno and threw his dagger which he assumed had his powers in it, on the other side of the stadium. Now Nysik had the advantage.
"I will give you one more chance, give up," Nysik huffed.
"Nev...er," muttered Johno, quickly hitting Nysik's daggers out of his hands. Now they were completely on top of each other battling it out in a fist fight. Johno got several hits on Nysik's jaw, while Nysik got many hits into Johno's neck. If this fight does not end soon, we will both be dead from heat. Raising his fist above his head, Nysik was ready to give the final blow straight in the center of Johno's air tube.
"It....ends....now...," Nysik whispered.
Feb 18, 12 at 4:01am ^re: Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
Battle Post 2:
His enemy was pepped for a final blow and whispering his victory premature. 'The old bastard has left himself wide open'
As fast as snake Johno whipped out his Kanto knife and stabbed it into Nysik's hip. His enemy bellowed in rage as he swung at Johno anyway. The attack was sloppy from the pain and easy to dodge. Rolling to the left Jonathan pulled his remaining knife from under his coat and stabbed it through the back of his foes knee, bringing him down to the ground. With the opportunity of a free moment Johno threw off his zoot suit jacket and shirt. “Bloody hell that's a bit better. Couldn't breath in those mongrel clothes. This heat's a shit!”
Nysik was ripping the throwing knives from his body grunting at the pain of pulling them. “Very sneaky with those concealed knives of yours. However now I have two and you have none”
He had a point Johno realised. Johno had nothing to protect himself but his bare fists while his opponent was now armed with the Australian Hunter's own weapons. “Bugger didn't think about that.”
“What do you mean goodbye, can't we just” But Johno was cut off as his enemy came in swinging. He fought like everyone else. Blades out near the thumb of his hands, concentrating on simply rhythmic actions; swipe swipe stab. Predictable and easy. To dodge. Not to mention the heat was slowing him while Johno with his lessened weight was moving faster. Slowly he worked his way back towards a tree, letting his foe feel like he was cornering him while actually giving Johno exactly what he was after.
Finally his back made contact with the metal trunk. The hot steel burnt his back but it was a pain he would have to suffer to come out victorious. His enemy attacked just as expected. Going for an angled strike that couldn't be dodged without peddling backwards. A final killing blow. Had the tree not had branches made of metal. It was an effort to pull the branch to protect him but the move paid off. His enemy hadn't expected the parry and was sent of balance. Johno moved in with a fist to the gut then to the jaw. Spinning around his enemy until they were back to back Jonathan smashed his elbow into the old man's skull before stepping forward and executing a mule kick behind, slamming his enemy into the hard hot metal of the superficial tree.
Feb 18, 12 at 5:36pm ^re: Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
First judge stepping up.
Skyassassin, you went first. The start of your narrative felt a tad bit boring, you were just telling us what was happening rather than presenting it in flashy and coated words. Nysik did this, Nysik went there, etc. Then there's this repetition of the word 'forest', being used 3 times in almost a single line. The suspense you produced a bit later was fine though. After that we have some cool dialogue going on until... the horror!
Well, not that bad, just something I personally loathe and don't approve of, and that's having the motive of the duel be something meta and very non-canonical. All in all, it was a solid post though, and set the duel in motion.
Ultimaodin, you went second. The post starts off with a continuity error, and that's one of the big No Nos of my book. Oh my!
Fortunately for you, the rest was very well written. I enjoyed it all. The letter from the Grand whatever Grand guy was very good, although I recommend you to either put in quotation marks or italicize it. First, it kinda fixes the meta motive from the first post without causing a problem. Second, it was pure fun to read.
You also wrote the forest's unnatural feel well too and it was easier to connect to picture in the mind. And then some more funny and cool dialogue. Then the ending with the joke was an icing on the cake for me.
Our dear Skyassassin steps up his game. BUT, and that's a big but (no, not THAT butt ), you made another of those big No No mistakes and that was slipping with inconsistent tenses. You can't go back and forth from present tense to past tense in a single narrative. The battle itself was exciting though. Nice technique by Nysik there. There's just one final criticism I have and that's what I felt was Johno not being characterized well. Johno is certainly not of the conserved personality.
Ultimaodin, as good as the writing was in this post, it had an absolute lack of battle. Sorry that's just bad for a battle post. Although still not as bad as what LillieBee did in her duel, this is still rather not enough. You had to heal Johno, that's fine, but you also need to whip it and have him fight. The ending of the post was great though, and set up Skyassassin well for the next post, which is positive.
Oh my! And the duel gets awesome!
Skyassassin you certainly stepped it up for this post. Alas, I'll have to start with some criticism. I'm personally not a fan of having the character having their inner thoughts being written for every single bit of reasoning. It's not needed. Write it when needed. The first paragraph was a bit criminal of representing Johno. He was played a bit dumb. Then his line didn't feel like something Johno would say.
And after that, the excitement starts! Nysik getting stabbed in the chest and blood splashing out? Kudos.
The following line/paragraph was also cool and Johno was finally being portrayed properly IMO. Nysik's charge was a move that I liked. The "Yaaah!" was hilarious .
Nysik's "final" threat for Johno didn't make sense though. When did he give him the option to give up before?
The last paragraph was also a bit of a downer. You were again telling us what was happening rather than being descriptive.
Ultimaodin, your post was bit shorter, but it was again great. While your previous post had no battle, this was full on action.
The events also flowed well. Causally you considered everything. The dialogues had a nice touch to them.
The final paragraph however was littered with bad wording
"His enemy attacked just as expected. Going for an angled strike that couldn't be dodged without peddling backwards. A final killing blow. Had the tree not had branches made of metal. It was an effort to pull the branch to protect him but the move paid off."
I could barely make what that was trying to say.
After that, the piece of hand to hand combat was fantastic though, everything was pictured perfectly in my mind and had some awesome choreography if it was to be made filmed.
Although I'll have to admit, you're also victim of portraying Nysik a bit dumb and weak.
Picking a winner for this post is much harder than the rather straightforward ones of the previous ones. I'm thinking of a tie, but due to more content, slightly more excitement and Ultimaodin's bad wording towards the end...
Spoiler:Overall, Final Vote
This was a rather enjoyable duel compared to the other duels of the tournament I've read. A very well done to both of you.
Skyassassin, you need to describe more and tell less like a documentary, you also need to cut your typos. Nysik was an awesome character though and I'd want to duel him some day. Ultimaodin, your usage of Johno has made me fall in love with him (no homo). This is a close duel, and from the post-to-post breakdown, Skyassassin's ahead 2 to 1, although the final post was VERY close. I'm having a hard time choosing, but since a winner must be chosen, I'll have to go with Skyassassin here. Ultimaodin, if you actually had some combat and fighting in your first battle post, I would have awarded you this (even if you still lost 2-1 in the post-to-post), but damn it, I'm sorry, better luck next time.
God have mercy on me, because this duel could go either way and I'd imagine the next judges also having a hard time choosing a winner.
EDIT: P.S, I believe this duel benefited a lot from the characters' balance and level in power.
Edit: Feb 18, 12 10:04am
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Feb 18, 12 at 7:46pm ^re: Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
Thank you Archimonde_STG for those tips. I read over what I wrote, now that I am awake, I see what you mean. Your tips will definitely help me improve me writing, thank you
Feb 19, 12 at 11:52pm ^re: Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
Hokay, let's get cracking. I apologise if my tone seems harsh, I find I tend to get terser the tireder I get
Intro post: First off, I enjoy reading your prose. I'm going to point out some sentence construction/word choices that I had issues with despite the fact that it's a speed duel, because I feel it will be helpful.
"As soon as he took his back foot into the forest a giant stone wall surrounded him. Giant stone walls appeared all around him in a dome shape. Then stain[ed] glass connected the ceiling of the dome." - word repetition and a typo there. I see that Archie has already pointed out your quick repetition of forest, too.
I liked the description of the trees changing to metal, although forty degrees what? Being English, I assumed Celsius, but forty degrees extra Celsius would just flat out bake them Clarification is your friend.
"Before things could get more weird, a type of loud speaker turned on." - personally I would consider this more weird
"alone with an enemy he does not know." - a little present tense-y, I would prefer "did not know".
This intro was good, and it's nice to see people other than Corruption taking it as an in-universe tournament. It served as a nice introduction to the battlefield, too, which looks like it's going to get
Battle post 1: "He circles the dome shaped areana several times." - two typos here, circled and arena.
Actually, reading on, I think that first one may have been a slip into present tense, which you've done once or twice already. Keep an eye out for those.
I'm surprised you have Nysik begin to tire so soon into the duel, and I feel like (since you were pushed for time) you could have skipped the insinuation that they went on exchanging hits and cut to Johno landing the hit. In a regular duel, I would rather you draw it out, describing the tenseness of the battle and the standoff, though.
"His dagger hit..." At first I thought this was Nysik you were talking about, and I had to go back and re-read the sentence as it jolted me out of the narrative.
This arena is beginning to get hot enough to stretch my suspension of disbelief. Even if it was a particularly cold day, it's risen by forty degrees, then doubled?! Seems like they should just be blistering right now.
Battle post 2: I would have thought that where Nysik wanted him was stabbed as he attempted to heal himself, but I'll let that go
"Somehow even with his strength drained his healing spell he used he quickly stabbed Nysik straight into the chest." - This sentence is quite confusing and also seems quite unlikely. I spent a couple of minutes trying to work it out and I guess it's possible, but awkward and quite unlikely. Also, the sentence reads oddly.
Johno doesn't seem to continue with the shock he exhibited in pushing Nysik off him for long enough. He just stabbed a man in the chest and he lived, with no precursor to that I feel he'd be a little more surprised!
"Nysik heard all of Johno's breath come out. Johno quickly regained his air back and started hacking away at Nysik." - This seems quite unreasonable. Johno's still a vanilla human at the end of the day, even if he recovers from being winded so quickly he would probably have thrown up.
As I said earlier, I'm surprised they didn't reach the point they're at by the end of this post sooner, considering the temperature rises described. I'm also surprised that Nysik getting in a number of hits on Johno's neck doesn't appear to impede his ability to brawl in any way. At the least he should have been coughing, I think.
Intro post: Well, at least you acknowledged your continuity error.
Your opening sentence was a little... I'm not sure how to phrase it, but I didn't really like it. Perhaps it would have been better if you'd run on into the next sentence, but it felt very much like... I don't know, excess description? Bah, discount my words until I can think of a way to say why I didn't like it.
"Wrapping his knuckles" - I hope you meant 'rapping'
I think the letter would have been better if italicised to differentiate it, but that's a minor point. Nice intentional repetition of grand there
Poor Johno, so easily deceived into walking into traps
This was an overall decent post, but it wasn't fantastic.
Battle post 1: Spelling mistakes littered this post, and became quite jarring at points. Part of me wants to say you should've cut off some time to check for mistakes, but it doesn't look like you really had any time to spare.
There was... I don't know, I guess the battle Johno had against the poison could count as battling, but at the same time Nysik just... stood there. I would have preferred to see more combat from you here.
Battle post 2: I think that your grammar and spelling go to the corner to cry when you're under a time limit
I really liked the description of the knife fight here, sentence construction aside. Very nice and well-written, it pulled me into the narrative even despite the errors, which was impressive, I think.
Well, while I feel like I focussed a little too much on the negative in this judgement, I'll say to both of you that I really loved this duel. Skyassassin in particular put out a performance that was far superior to what I was expecting having read his member list post.
That said, I still have to pick a winner, and it's a tough one!
I've read through the duel a couple more times, and I think my vote goes to Ultimaodin, although only just. All in all his posts had a better narrative and less inconsistencies, even if his grammar and spelling left something to be desired. Not to knock your posts Skyassassin, I had to do a lot of re-reading to come to that conclusion!
...Man, I do not envy Clief picking the winner here
The last Tyen
total posts: 5797
since: May 2010
Feb 20, 12 at 12:33am ^re: Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
Seeing as how im the last judge, i wont go into nitpicking things as both judges before me have done this. So i will present my judging to you and yeah. See how it all goes
As previously said, this post is littered with repetitions and an almost documentary feel about it. Also i noticed alot of, Nysik did this and Nysik did that. Johno did this and Johno did that. He/Him are your friend. So is 'the aussie' and things like that. Just too repetetive. Trust me, i know what it's like, i've been there and am still trying to overcome my problem. Overall though, the post was good, it set up everything for the duel. It was just littered with poor grammar for me.
Battle post 1
This is a MUCH better post than your last one. One gripe i do have though, is that i feel Nysik should be much better at CQC than Johno. I'll be honest, i haven't read your character profile iin a bit, but from memory Nysik is a type of ninja. That's the feel i got from the sneaking around and stuff anyway. Being a ninja, he should be MUCH faster than Johno and i dont think this was dispayled in this post. Over all though, it had nice combat. I could picture it all in my head pretty well.
Battle Post 2
I feel as though you slipped a little in this post compared to your last. I understand that Nysik was getting tired from the heat, but he should be able to keep himself composed to still deliver those ninja like techniques to perfection. It is what they train for after all. This post should have had Nysik completely dominate Johno. He had been drained of some energy for the healing spell, he was also becoming exhausted through the heat. Also, he was getting upset over not being about to find Nysik, everything is against Johno here and you have him far superior to Nysik. I feel that is bad writing, but we all learn this at some stage.
Straight away a big mistake, that everyone knows about now. Just take a little bit more time in writing. Even though it is a speed duel, there is still time to write quality. Remember, quantity doesn't matter in a speed duel. This post however as a whole was very good. I had a chuckle with the letter. And the post flowed very well.
Battle Post 1
As pointed out, this post NEEDED battle, however you were left a kind of crappy hand when going into this post. That and the short amount of time you had, it would be difficult for anyone to write in some battle and healing all in a short amount of time. However that's what sets apart the good from the great. A great writer would be able to have Nysik attack Johno perhaps while he is charging up the spell. Describe how difficult it is for Johno to hold the concentration for the spell, and then at the end of the post have him cast it. That would have made this post 100x better. Still, the post flowed, dispite the obvious lack of an Ulti polished post.
Battle Post 2
MUCH better post. There is some battle here, and it's typical Ulti fashioned battle writing. It's very easy to picture in my head, again despite the lack of polish. It flows well and overall is easily your best post of the duel. Not much to say about this that hasn't already been said.
For me the winner is Ultimaodin. Quite simply because the grammar is significantly better, and his post flow better, making it more enjoyable to read. Skyassassin, you need to take a little bit more time, not be in so much of a rush. I think you did this for your last 2 posts, but it was your first post that really brought you down in my opinion. I think if it wasn't for that post, this would be a much closer duel. Ulti, you also need to take a little more time with your writing. Just that extra 20 seconds to think up a battle plan for your first battle post would have made it much better than it was. To both of you, even though this is a speed duel, you cannot forget to take time. You cant just dish out the first thing that comes to mind and quickly write it out. Take this advice from someone hoe has done 2-3 of these. There is always time.
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Feb 28, 12 at 5:27am ^re: Skyassassin vs Ultimaodin SDT:LEEEERRRROOOOOY
The noise of a door closing awoke Johno from his sleep. Reaching for his forehead, where a wet towel was rested, Jonathan tried to think of where he was and how he got there. Beside him were a very attractive nurse and a man in a suit discussing something about the events of the tournament thus far. ‘The tournament. That’s right some sick bastard entered me into some bloody battlefield’
“Oi, where am I and what the heck happened to Nysik?” Demanded Johno in a raspy voice.
“Well what do you know, one of our guests are awake,” the suit mused, “and how are you this evening”
Replying in agitation; “Bloody Grand, now answer my questions,” The Australian sat upright.
“Certainly; the man named Nysik is alive, much to my grand liege’s distaste, and you are safe.”
It seemed the man wasn’t going to give much in the way of a straight answer so Johno turned to the woman for answers “Is Nysik here also being taken care of and exactly where is here?”
“No, Nysik was left to rot!” The nurse responded bluntly “He’s technically Immortal so he’s alive, which is none of my concern because he lost the duel between you two so he is of irrelevance. You on the other hand are, as ordered by my grand liege, to be taken care of. Not cared for just of. Once you are healed you will piss off. Understood?”
Not a very kind nurse for certain but at least she was to the point. How Johno had won his fight he honestly couldn’t work out, all he really remembered after kicking his opponent in the back was falling unconscious himself from the heat. Considering his fight with the man named Nysik, an apparent immortal, he wasn’t looking forward to his next confrontation; and something told the ex-convict that there was no way he was avoiding the remainder of the tournament. ‘Might as well accept this grand liege’s word, I highly doubt I have a choice’ “Understood”
“Good! Now shut up and don’t scream” with that the nurse shoved a five inch needle into Johno’s bare ribs.
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