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Topic: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
|Tiger of Wu||
Jun 23, 11 at 11:32pm ^The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
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---------------------------------------(Tiger of Wu)----------------------------(DG)-----------------------(Selig Hecht)
Two Battle Posts Each
BaFi (We're willing to have him)
TsEc (Stuck down)
The first rule of group duel is you do not talk about group duel. The second rule of group duel is you do not talk about group duel.
[color=#666666]This message was edited on 2012-01-10T16:40:12-08:00.
One of those old-time bad guys with honour and morals.
Almost one of the good guys.
None of us is a saint.
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|Tiger of Wu||
Jun 24, 11 at 6:44pm ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
"I was worwking in the wab wate wonn night, when my eyes beheld an eewie sight,"
"I'm not doing it."
"Do it or I'll shut you down again."
"I was worwking in the wab wate wonn night, when my eyes beheld an eewie sight,"
"For my master from her slab began to rise, and suddenly to my surprise,"
Amadeth grinned, then extended her arms and danced. "I did teh mash!" she screamed gleefully.
"She did the monster mash," Firine added.
"Teh monster mash," the zombie continued.
"It was a gwaveyarwd smash."
"I did teh mash!"
"It caught on in a fwash."
"Teh monster mash!" she continued to dance.
"She did the monster mash."
Amadeth skipped merrily through the abandoned circus, lit only by the stars. She jumped onto a carousel, hanging from the side, and the old, rusted attraction inexplicably came to life. It lit up and slowly spun as Amadeth continued to sing. "The zombified cat-Elf was having fun," she hopped off of the carousel and it returned to lifelessness, then she ran towards the Ferris wheel. "Even though the party hadn't even begun," jumping onto one of the seats and hanging recklessly from it, Amadeth sung as the wheel came to life. "The guests included the killer of god," the wheel increased to a speed health and safety regulators would frown upon; when the seat Amadeth hung from hit the peak, it abruptly stopped. "And a misogynistic, alcoholic man with a small cock."
"Have you acshuawwy seen it?"
"Not yet, but I'm usually right about this sort of thing." Amadeth patted her left shoulder turret and smiled warmly; the turret swivelled as if a happy cat being scratched behind the ear. A fair distance away was a stream of light trailing behind something that appeared akin to a jet; Arimus was monitoring the area, or just having a nice old fly, or looking for something to have sex with, Amadeth could never tell. At the peak of the Ferris wheel she smiled, hanging backwards and winking in the tiger cub's direction. "Rock on, you fancy bastard."
Lights shone in the distance, this time darker and laden with foreboding. With the huge circus, or carnival or whatever other name it held, were the memories of a massacre. With Carnifex Deum came damned and tortured souls. With Selig Hecht came much potential.
"A balance of pain, hatred and emptiness," Amadeth whispered. She grinned. "Playtime, kiddies."
One of those old-time bad guys with honour and morals.
Almost one of the good guys.
None of us is a saint.
|posts in thread|
Jun 26, 11 at 5:18am ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
"Well uh, that was quite erm... well, shit, really. I have to give you points for the show you're preforming up there though." Being far from drunk and quite perturbed about it, Selig leaned back against a rather distressed looking carousel zebra. "I get a nice view of your ass from down here."
You kinky, dead cat lady. "Also, I resent the comment about my penis. I'll show you small." With that, and a great deal of enthusiasm, Selig pulled the string on the front of his pants and stood proudly as they fell to his feet. He wasn't even freaking drunk and he was naked. Though, in his mind at least, confidence was winning half the battle. So he stood there beaming, feeling fresh and... wafting in the breeze.
"Anyway, I don't even know why I'm here. This place is creepy and brings back bad memories." He was a massive liar and he had come here to see up this ladies' armour, "I'm probably going to go now." So he pulled up his pants and stood there, like he was waiting for a response. Slowly tying the string in the front and looking up at Amadeth, who was clearly not expecting to see what she had just witnessed. In all his glory. From this distance he couldn't tell whether she was pleased or disgusted. Even though it didn't matter. She was going to sleep with him now, that he knew.
Selig was more confident than he had ever been until a small blast of something from above nearly singed the front of his pants right off. He reached between his legs and he could still feel the heat from whatever it had been.
Alright, so she's probably less than enthused about sleeping with me. He waved at the floating tiger cub.
This is about the point where everything went to flipping hell.
In the midst of yelling at Amadeth for nearly frying his pieces off, Selig felt a chill. The whole circus felt it too. Everything seemed a whole lot darker, the rides looked heavier as if to try and sink away from whatever was coming. Even the stars twinkled like terrified villagers struggling to shut the blinds and hide.
"Do you feel that?" He asked, almost to himself. He half expected Amadeth to leap down from her perch and start laughing directly in his ear for being such a wuss. God she was hot for a zombie.
"Well, I'll be damned." So there were stories. Bar stories he'd heard, and seemed to be getting more frequent as small, unheard of towns were burnt to the ground . Honestly, he'd hoped to give whatever it was a wide berth. But it was said that the screams could be heard for miles. It was the only way these stories could be told, because apparently, there were never survivors. At least, this is what the creepypasta threads on /b/ said. But the sight of this great hulking black blob of stench, even when viewed from such a great distance, confirmed these stories to be true.
Unless he was thinking of the wrong stories.
"Well, bugger me sideways."
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Jun 26, 11 at 9:22pm ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
Not far away from the psychotic cat girl and the pervert, an area of ground was still suffused with the afterglow of sorcery. A portal summoned from the very soil had disengorged the hideous "blob" in question.
It, or at least that part which first had first caught Selig's attention, was a gigantic bear of at least 4 feet in height, covered with black armour barding much like that found on a warhorse. Rusting plating shrieked a mournful dirge into the night sky as the great beast took a first lumbering step towards the figures before it. Its jaws opened and a sound came forth. A horrible sound like the beast was growling through a throat clogged with rotten filth. This was hardly surprising considering the undead state of the creature. The stench was revolting enough to make the onlookers blanch slightly as it reached them on the breeze.
Atop this half tonne of rotting muscle and armoured might sat a figure equally foreboding. The rider was clad from head to toe in jet black armour, ornately decorated with scenes of butchery and torture, with runes that hurt the eyes to look upon. Magically enchanted by some dark and forgotten process, this armour was not rusted, but in perfect condition. It's appearance was only marred by the vile black liquid oozing through the cracks and dripping to the ground below. The figure within the armour was no less decomposed than its mount.
Rider and steed stopped, the visored helmet turning to look from one figure to the other. The knight, if it could be called such a thing, made no comment, no attempt to speak. It merely transfixed first one and then the other with empty eye sockets that nonetheless burned with unnatural light from within the visor's slit. The warrior's right arm reached down to the weapon sheathed by the saddle. The ornate black gauntlet gripped the hilt, and as it did so, the metal seemed to shift in form. Numerous small orifices opened up in the surface of the gauntlet, and from them came black chains that twisted and snaked around the weapon's hilt as though they were alive.
The godkiller, thus held in the Grip of Despair, was drawn forth from its scabbard, revealing the blade in all its dark glory.
Though the metal itself was a dark as blackest night, the sword burned with a crimson flame, flickering in the darkness without the need for fuel of any kind. Now drawn forth, the weapon was no longer silent.
Cries of countless souls in torment called forth from the evil artefact as it was raised in grim salute, some clearly in pain, some wracked with insane laughter.
One way or another some of these souls might find release, be it as undead slaves or by being burned as fuel for the sword's dark magic.
Either way, they knew what was coming.
The living ones would be tested.
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|Tiger of Wu||
Jun 27, 11 at 1:48pm ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
"I've seen bigger," Amadeth whispered directly into Selig's ear, making him jump a little. She suspected were it not for the fact the Carnifex was slowly, very slowly, ridiculously slowly, not only slowly but with a hell of a lot of description, emerging from some kind of portal nearby he would have been calmer.
"I've owned bigger," Firinar, from within Amadeth's suit, added.
"The cub's a little bit psychic and he says you were just thinking about /b/." With her gauntleted hand, Amadeth grabbed Selig's crotch and squeezed. "Rules one and two, newfag!" she screamed, at which point Selig elbowed her face as hard as he could. Predictably, the zombie cat-Elf released and stumbled back. Selig held his crotch with one hand and his elbow with the other; beneath her squishy, decaying outer shell rested a thick, metal skull after all.
"What the fu-" The man began. He looked up to see Amadeth running, then felt heat behind him; as he turned the world became a blur around him.
Before the blurry whirlwind he saw and heard the fires of tortured souls rushing towards him, then with a yank that would leave a normal person whip-lashed and bruised he was gone. The Carnifex struck only air, and Selig was carried away by Arimus who clutched his shirt between his teeth.
Back on the ground, the zombie bear rider chased the zombie cat-Elf in a game of cat and mouse, where the cat is a bear and the mouse is part cat, or something; no-one was quite really sure. Nevertheless, as Amadeth ran the Carnifex and its host were quickly closing in on her. "Why did I disable flying?" Amadeth asked, annoyed.
"So you could use this properly," Firinar answered. From her right gauntlet extended Kaavel, a long, thick rod surrounded by green energy.
"Of course! Thank you, Igor."
"I told you to stop calling me that."
Like Roadrunner, Amadeth skidded to a stop. She turned and faced the incoming monstrosity and raised her weapon high, and the Carnifex's host did the same. Grinning, the zombie stepped forward and attacked the decaying bear; swinging his arm back, the rider swung the black blade into Amadeth's rod and like a golf ball struck by the child of Tiger Woods and The Incredible Hulk, the zombie cat-Elf was launched through the air and to the other side of the circus.
On landing, she rolled into a gathering of tents and stalls which collapsed atop her. The ballistic turrets at her shoulders quickly shot her free, and she smiled as she saw her buffer. Then she saw Selig hitting on her.
"Hey!" She screamed, pointing Kaavel at Selig. After the force with which it had been struck, Kaavel was practically just a long beam of thick, burning, green energy. "You stay away from my slave, you, you sexy, stupid fuck." She made an angry face, like the following:
Selig was more sneaky looking, but he took a few steps back. Arimus was near to his feet, smirking as much as a tiger cub could smirk. "But she's hot," Selig said in defence. He pointed towards the woman whom they were speaking about; she was of an average height (thought shorter than them both), somewhat pale and had short, dark hair along with what Amadeth could only describe as the cutest little nose ever.
"I don't care," The zombie shouted in reply, walking over to the woman whilst still aiming Kaavel at Selig. She grabbed the sleeve of the woman's gray hoodie, her nick-name in white atop her right breast, and pulled her closer. "She is my slave!" Obediently, she let herself be dragged over to Amadeth. "I'm the only one who's allowed to rape her."
"Who said I was going to rape her?" Selig shouted back, to which Amadeth gave him a, 'Bitch please,' kind of look. Before the issue could be resolved, the Carnifex and its host had closed in on them. Amadeth turned Kaavel from Selig to the zombie bear and rider, and in a Saiyan-esque cumshot she fired a humongous energy beam from Kaavel's shaft. It hardly harmed the undead creature and weapon but certainly slowed them down. During such time, Selig took the best course of action and ran for his life.
When the dust settled and the Carnifex's host emerged from the remnant energy, sword in hand and steed beneath, it looked towards Amadeth, Arimus and the buffer (who, for formality's sake, we'll just name Sarah) and the fires behind his eyes burned brighter. Then Arimus took Sarah and flew away, at which point the host turned to Selig and began to chase after him. Amadeth followed.
"Why's he not interested in you!?" The man shouted. Amadeth laughed.
"He's after delicious souls," she shouted in reply. "I've only got about half of mine left!" As she ran, she stepped on something and slipped, just managing to keep from falling. When she turned she saw a splattered frog corpse and a load of them scattered around the area. "Firine," she whispered, to which one of her turrets began to swivel. "Auto-target and take out these frogs for me, please." Obediently, both turrets unleashed hell-fire on the gathering of frogs. When no more remained in the area, both turrets turned and aimed themselves at Selig who was still running from the Carnifex.
Amadeth could only stare and blink.
One of those old-time bad guys with honour and morals.
Almost one of the good guys.
None of us is a saint.
|posts in thread|
Jul 06, 11 at 7:04am ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
"STOP SHOOTING MY FROGS." Selig started screaming in a rather distressed manner. Jesus, it was like watching children die. Why did everyone hate frogs...
Which should have been the last thing on his mind, considering he was being chased by a Thanatos reincarnation and his zombie bear steed. That was surprisingly fast. He dipped through tents, jumped across rides and the thing just barrelled through, clawing through walls and steel. Selig had charged his way through a swinging viking ship ride and the bear had managed to tear it down by twisting it as it crashed through and tearing it right off its hinge.
Selig wondered where the rude cat lady had gone, suspecting she'd abandoned them and done the wise thing, run away. But as Selig's fingers dug into the dirt when he dipped to a skidding halt on all fours, he realised... she was still shooting his frogs. Or trying to decide between him and the frogs. Oh well, she'd see in a second why they were so important.
Primarily for slicing, his bright green frog blade would be useful in this situation. He drew the weapon, catching the attention of all of the little slimy critters in the area. Basically, Selig threw himself under a skilful sword blow and under the bears massive chest. He could see the sizzling flesh still glowing softly from Amadeth's strange green beam attack from down here. Selig knew he didn't have a single chance of escaping this pain free when he saw that.
So he plunged his blade into the bears chest. He squirmed with glee at the feel of the soft, squishy flesh giving way to his blade. Not even the incredibly thick bones of the beast stood a chance. It wouldn't put the bear down of course, but he needed to get a feel for just how vulnerable this thing was, and make a hole.
Thus far for vulnerability? Not at all. When he removed his steel from its chest cavity it put a paw made of claws and agony through his calf.
"Neither of us do any good without legs!" Selig shouted in pain, trying to mask a painful scream he'd known was coming. This was the only reason his particular position was useful. The bear soon realised Selig was trying to hack of its legs due to him using his sword to hack off its legs. With all its weight it simply laid down on top of him.
Selig didn't know what was more suffocating at this point. The blinding pain from his squished leg, the crushing weight on top of him or the stench from a rotting heap of flesh right on his face. Or the incredibly powerful sexual tension. One of those was making this worse than it had to be. Good thing Selig only breathed for aesthetic reasons.
In fact, he didn't need to breathe at all. Or have any of his non-existant organs function, or worry about anything but not being in contact with his frogs. Some were normal, green things, others were strange and pink. Oddly shaped, squirmy things that clumped together like puzzle pieces when they'd find each other. When Selig's leg was crushed, those ones were on their way to fix it by wriggling under his skin and locking together. Like muscles.
He didn't hesitate after this to squeeze his hand through the hole he'd created in the chest of his foe and clamber for the armour of his most concerning opponent. He could feel a thigh and a crotch area, and he immediately started grabbing and pulling at things. He knew it wouldn't hurt, but something like this rotting away? There was no way this could be much more than squishy juice held into the shape of its armour. He was going to pull the armour right off from the base, up.
"Mmmph mm mmm MMM MMMM." These muffled words could be heard for a few feet, and would make anyone blush if they knew what it was he was saying. Especially Amadeth.
|posts in thread|
Aug 24, 11 at 7:41pm ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
Battle Post 1:
The Carnifex noticed something touching its human host in a rather unusual location. It looked down, its empty eye sockets glowing with crimson fire.
Something was moving inside its undead steed. A hand burst forth from under the saddle, reaching up and grasping hold of the warrior's leg plating. The owner of the hand yanked hard, causing a rotten leather strap to break.
Undead warriors did not often have their pants pulled down. This was quite a novelty. One that Selig did not really appreciate, thanks to the gout of liquefied rotten flesh that hit him directly in the face and entered his mouth.
The Carnifex made use of its equipment, sending chains snaking out of the Grip of Despair to retrieve its errant raiment. Fully armoured again in mere seconds, the Carnifex left one chain wrapped around its lower body to prevent a repeat of the incident.
Sending a mental command to the rotting bear, it commanded it to maul the swordsman to death. Someone resorting to such base tactics was of no interest to the evil blade. It changed targets, calling upon dark magic as it dismounted from its steed.
The sword burned bright crimson for a moment as the spell took effect. A split second later, the earth beneath Selig began to move, earth and rock melding into new, horrible shapes. Clawed limbs reached forth and took hold of him, attempting to drag him into the earth.
The Carnifex dismounted swiftly, striding away from the bear and its victim. Amadeth was its new objective. She seemed to be standing and watching with an amused smirk on what remained of her face.
Without even breaking stride, the Carnifex lashed out with its left arm, sending the black chains forth. Amadeth was swiftly entangled with links of black metal. A surge of eldritch power ripped through the chains, boosting the strength of the undead warrior as it tugged upon the links. Amadeth found a new way to fly.
"HOW THE FUUUUUUUU..." came her scream of rage as the suit of powered armour was flung through the air to crash loudly to the floor.
"OW! You will pay for that, you rotting asshole!" yelled the equally undead elf, then taking a moment to savour the irony "Oops".
Changing to full defensive mode, she called more power into the armour, using it to free herself of the chains. She levelled her projectile launcher and blasted forth... something that landed at the zombie knight's feet.
A black ball of ooze rapidly grew into something that could pose a real threat. Something that looked suspiciously like Mortis Blackwraith's patented symbiote, only autonomous. Tasting the warrior's dripping slime, it made for him to complete its meal.
This, the Carnifex would not allow.
Chains closed around it, forming a network in the air that resembled a cage. Another pulse of magic entered the chains, and they flashed white hot in an instant. The air within the cage was superheated, flashing into a blue-white plasma, utterly incinerating the creature before it could do any harm.
The knight turned and fixed Amadeth with the glare of the twin balls of crimson flame that passed for its eyes. It began to walk towards her, slowly yet inexorably.
The elf aimed her launcher again, sending forth several fragmentation grenades, but those few fragments of shrapnel that penetrated the enchanted armour had no real effect upon the host body.
She changed weapons, blasting away with machine guns mounted in each of her gauntlets while simultaneously making use of her shoulder turrets.
Whether or not the bullets would have been sufficient, she did not get to find out. The Carnifex itself suddenly flickered and vanished, the blade replacing itself with a great kite shield of jet black metal, possessing the same aura as the sword. The bullets could not penetrate the ensorcelled steel, instead merely ricocheting with an alarming clamour and myriad sparks. Thus protected, the Carnifex lashed out with its chains, catching hold of a new weapon. A large metal tent spike in hand, it continued its advance towards its opponent, calling upon magic as it did so.
As a bolt of lightning emerged from the Carnifex's new shield form and slammed into Amadeth's power armour, its host broke into a run. Combat was joined.
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|Tiger of Wu||
Sep 01, 11 at 2:06pm ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
"What is wrong with you two?" Amadeth yelled as the Carnifex's host ran towards her. "Full defence mode, now!" The Carnifex reached his prey and swung his spear-like tent spike as hard as he could towards Amadeth's face. It bent around the helmet now covering her head and swung around to strike the Carnifex's host, buried into his cheek. Amadeth stood completely covered in her purple armour from head to toe, helmet very similar to The Deathknight's in shape. "That's better, kiddies," she whispered, tent spike wrapped around her head. The Carnifex's host had dazed himself but it wouldn't last for long; Amadeth threw herself forward and head-butted him, causing him to drop the tent spike and stumble back. With great effort she took a step forward and launched her first towards the Carnifex's face. Bullet's streamed out of her gauntlet and into her enemy as she landed the blow, sending her foe to the floor.
"Always with the-" Razor chains from the Grip of Despair arose from the ground beneath Amadeth and wrapped themselves around her suit, at first trying to take her into the sky but then instead simply holding her down, stopping her from retreating. The Carnifex's host seemed to grin as he stood, the Grip's chains breaking out of the ground. "Speaking as a fellow zombie, I know we still have pride," Amadeth stated. The Carnifex's host seemed to tilt his head in confusion as the kite-shield morphed into a battle-axe which his decaying form had no logical business in wielding. "I implore you to go back to the frog before I destroy yours." There was a quiet, rumbling, dark laughter which seemed to surround Amadeth as it echoed. She shook her head.
With a bestial roar, she wrapped her arms around the Grip's chains and then pulled the Carnifex's host towards herself. "Your weapon is stronger than my armour," she yelled, tangling the host in his own chains. "But my armour is stronger than you!" Tightening the chains around the Carnifex's host, Amadeth gave him no choice but to withdraw them; they left thick and deep scratches in both the zombie-elf's armour and his own as they whipped back into the Grip of Despair.
Now free, the Carnifex's host jumped back before Amadeth could grab him. She moved slowly, enough so that her foe could bring down the Carnifex axe atop her without any trouble. A ridiculously loud crashing sound reverberated through the circus as the Carnifex struck Kaavel, Amadeth's pole-weapon, which she had to hold with her spare arm to stop it from being smashed into her own face. The ground around her appeared as if a meteor had landed in it and the burning red of the Carnifex met the flicking, buzzing green of Kaavel, the weapon once again filled with energy. "Power mode," Amadeth ordered.
"Now!" Amadeth's helmet detracted back into her suit, as did the armour around her abdomen, thighs and upper-arm. With a vicious cry, she pushed her foe back, just about managing to get him off of her when a small object struck the Carnifex's host and suddenly both he and Amadeth began to float.
"How the hell do I use this thing!?" Selig shouted in annoyance, playing with Amadeth's projectile launcher. The Carnifex glared at him in annoyance and spun around whilst floating. He saw his zombie-bear-steed laying still, being eaten by a gathering of frogs and a small, cyborg, tiger-cub. Amadeth glared at Selig as well.
"When the hell did you take my PJ!" she demanded. Selig shrugged whilst simultaneously nodding towards a gathering of frogs around his feet. Amadeth aimed a gauntlet towards him and fired a stream of bullets, which caused her to spin whilst she was floating. "You wasted my last fucking gravity disruptor, you little prick," she screamed whilst still spinning through the air. "Do you know how long they ta-aaarrgh!" Amadeth's speech was cut short as the Carnifex's host flew towards her, a stream of fire propelling him, and he again brought down his master's axe form. Using her boosters, Amadeth flew as well, dodging the weapon. "Artificial gravity," she ordered when safe from his attack.
"But the powe-"
"Fucking do it!" Amadeth's suit fell towards the ground whilst the Carnifex remained suspended in the air. Selig fired another five random shots from the projectile launcher but they were easily avoided, going off course through the anti-gravity field. As the Carnifex's host found his way back to the ground he found himself barraged with two frag grenades, a plasma grenade and two sonic boom emitters, which sent him back into the air with a dark shout of annoyance. Meanwhile, Amadeth charged at Selig, not using any of her ranged weaponry. He fired upon her two more times, doing no damage with the rubber ball and missing a second time, then Monsieur Frog dived out of the way. Behind him stood Sarah, Amadeth's buffer, and the zombie-elf grabbed her by the waist and dragged her away, booster-jet's flaring.
Selig turned to where the Carnifex floated and he ran towards him in a wave of frogs, projectile launcher in one hand and sword in the other. He flew on frog-power like some kind of amphibious superhero when he entered the anti-gravity field, the Carnifex certainly not expecting to be overwhelmed by such small and meagre creatures. As Amadeth handled business with her buffer, Arimus joined the fray.
In the middle of a tent filled with cages of animal skeletons and a stench all too familiar to Amadeth, the zombie-elf held Sarah up by the neck and she shook as if electrocuted, then fell. Amadeth's suit sparked with power. "Life-force at twenty five percent," the buffer stated from the floor as Amadeth checked how much energy her suit had regained. She made a quiet noise dismissing her words, then looked around at the cages.
"How much did you say you have left again?" she asked, contemplating what it would take to raise a small battalion.
Almost one of the good guys.
None of us is a saint.
|posts in thread|
Oct 13, 11 at 2:28pm ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
Selig watched Amadeth pop out of view. Worried eyes trying to trace where she'd gone, there's no way he could handle this rotten sack of goo on his own. Ew, he could still taste liquified flesh and organs on his little froggy tongue... .
Small pink chunks floated from a convulsing sphere of movement, metal and frustrated growling. Right around Selig and his intensely painful leg wound, making soft little "plat" noises whenever they hit his skin and spun off in every direction. He realized suddenly that he was going to have to run for his damned life in a minute. As much as it pained him to leave Amadeth here to fight on her own, he stood no chance. None at all against this soul stealing bastard of a weapon. Besides, he really didn't want to be converted into a frenchman's delicacy.
He sighed heavily and froggy stroked his way to the edge of the floaty field. An amphibious massacre was happening to his left, but all he could hear was the gentle buzzing of the edge of Amadeth's self contained anti-gravity field passing over his ears. It tickled as he passed through and stepped out into the sky, only to tumble onto his back. Selig righted himself instantly and started to sprint away from the scene. With the Executioner distracted and Amadeth no where to be seen, he figured this was the best time to fold and leave the table.
It was when he ducked past an old ferguson tractor he realized his horrible memory failure. Pieces of his body were suddenly strewn down the dusty lane when the proverbial train of a bear intercepted him with claws and teeth various. A red mist filled the air where Selig had stood, and where this hadn't grabbed much attention, the floating hand did. All the frogs stopped attacking the Executioner, and there was an odd silence.
Selig lay in pieces underneath the Carnifex, which feasted happily on his twitching remains. It snorted seemingly with pleasure and peered over at it's master for approval. The Executioner stepped down as the field suspending it dissipated and laid its victory against the swarm at its feet. A guttural laugh started from its very core and crackled through the air like electricity, or like some other form of raw power might. It stepped forward, squishing the frog mince beneath an armored foot. Selig's dismembered hand lay just inches from its toes, wee little froglets squirming out from under the skin.
Not again... pity.
So it had happened again. Everything had gone completely black now. Kind of like waking up after not realizing you'd fallen asleep in the first place. But in the middle of the pitch night, on a new moon, after you'd forgotten to plug your nighty lamp in. It was an all too familiar and horrible place that he hoped he'd never have to go again. He absolutely could not believe this was happening again.
He felt like he was just below the surface of the water in a powerful current. He felt waves, pushing and pulling against his body. Large eddies swirling over him, and a sickly swaying turned his stomach. Right. Gonna have to get used to this again. He just hoped the others would survive. Amadeth seemed nice enough. Even the Executioner and his murderous bear didn't deserve what was coming. He knew it was going make the world suffer. Again.
He was just a personality now. He could only watch while the dirt above him was pushed away and he ascended to meet the sky. Well, sort of. He was in the air now looking down at a rather bewildered looking suit of armor and... oh, that's where Amadeth had gone. Selig had returned to the mind of his maniacal puppeteer.
Chains split the earth just fifty feet or so away from Selig's opponents. They spread along the ground from the hole they had formed. Squirming like snakes and wrapping around the rides for grip. There was no rumbling to announce the arrival of the creature they were attached to. Only a gentle displacement of the earth. He rose, high into the air. Crimson hair dangling below a pale pair of dirty feet, somehow managing to avoid getting tangled in the metal links erupting from his back. And it was difficult to tell from so far below him, but he was very tall, at least seven feet. But thin, pale and sickly looking. With a gaze that ate right through the eyes of his newfound enemy.
"So you've been helping yourself to my souls?" His voice was surprisingly strong, and calm... Selig hated it when he was calm. But he was suspended with him high in the air, supported on his chains, and completely invisible.
"I've been waiting for a very, very long time for this. My name is Valeij. And I have to say, I appreciate your help. I am, however, deeply disappointed with what had to be done in order to usher me here." Valeij frowned the most false frown anybody in the history of frowning could have frowned while he gazed down at his thoroughly dismembered puppet. His ears perked.
"Well, you're fascinatingly powerful but I have to say, storage within you is limited. You'd never achieve a godly status as I had so long ago." He spoke directly to the blade he knew was housing something more precious than gold to him. It was like staring at a nerd and his porn filled USB device.
That's when the rumbling finally caught up with the self-proclaimed god.
Behind him, several small humanoid beings waddled into view. Only a few at first and then, in mere seconds... hundreds. Thousands, pouring down the paths between the rides and over them like water. The rides creaked and snapped beneath the weight of them, groaning in agony. Valeij descended to be amongst them.
They all suddenly froze in place, and he gingerly plucked one from the crowd he was now waist deep in. It was only about 5 inches tall, made completely out of cloth and intricately detailed to look like the person whose soul it contained. Dolls, he was surrounded by dolls, and the one in his hand started screaming before going deathly limp.
The whole top layer did, all of them screaming and reverting to useless children's toys.
"I'll bury you here, I'll make you a beautiful metal tomb, and take that blade from you. And when I break into it and take the souls, I'll get to spend hundreds of wonderful hours with my beloved Selig, sewing bodies for them all." The chains extended from Valeij's back swirled around him with excitement. A puppy wagging his tails.
The rides around the demon creaked and groaned, shifting where they had laid abandoned for so long and showing a life they had never shown before. They quivered and rose and were forcefully twisted by some invisible force into horrible junk piles. The ferris wheel split right in half and its supporting beams lifted from the ground, becoming a monster with a massive pair of chompers. The carousel released its steel animals which began to parade through the dolls. The ride itself twisting onto its side to create a huge crushing wheel. The ring of death separated at the top and became a car firing cannon. Valeij's army of souls rose.
Selig could only watch behind Valeij's eyes, and hope he didn't spot Amadeth.
"Amadeth? I'll take her for you."
|posts in thread|
Jan 08, 12 at 1:54am ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
Battle post 2
The Carnifex stood for a moment, bemused at what now hovered before it. Clearly this being was not of this world. A demon of some sort, presumably. And one with a large ego, which was not unusual.
There was no use in testing such a being. A demon would never let itself be enslaved by the dark entity that masqueraded as a weapon. There was therefore no reason to hold back. The Carnifex called upon the power of its master, and its master responded. From beyond the veil of reality, an unspeakably evil entity reached out to its loyal servant, sending a surge of dark magic into the weapon and its undead host. The corporeal form of the host became strengthened, its reaction speed improved. Its armour glowed from within with a crimson energy like that which burned in the host's empty eye sockets.
The Carnifex itself increased in size, becoming a double handed broadsword. And it honoured its opponent by a rare action. It spoke, calling upon the voices of the legion trapped within, changing in pitch and volume as different souls came to the fore.
"Take that blade from me? How will you do that? I AM the blade you see before you. I need not become a god to destroy you, boastful one. I will take your essence and make it a part of me."
The armoured figure sprang forward with alarming speed, burning a swathe of attacking dolls away in mid-air with a simple hand gesture. More of the diminutive beings were torn apart as the Grip of Despair snaked out and sliced them in two.
Reaching the first worthy target, the Carnifex did not slow down but instead dived to the right, slashing its burning blade all the way through a possessed carousel unicorn that had attempted to spear it with its horn. A scream split the air, much like the ones that had announced the "death" of the dolls. The Carnifex continued on its way.
What appeared to be a metal tiger leapt through the air as another animal charged the Carnifex from the front.
The sword burned with hellfire for a moment and was replaced by an obscenely large pistol. One shot boomed out and the tiger was utterly consumed by a screaming black bolt of energy. The pistol instantly became a sword again, just in time to decapitate the second opponent. Again, the Carnifex sent out a wide gout of flames to incinerate a swarm of dolls.
It seemed that some critical mass had been reached. This time even as the dolls collapsed, the Earth beneath them was upthrust as something huge burst free.
In shape, if not in technical nature, it was a golem. A giant creature formed from the earth itself, possessed by the souls of the slain dolls.
The thing was the size of a small building. A sword would do nothing of use against it. Lightning would be equally useless, and earth cannot be burnt.
The Carnifex's usual powers would not serve it well against this foe. It was time to call upon others.
An unearthly wail rent the night air as pure agony goaded one of the evil blade's many trapped souls into wakefulness. The sword's will was communicated to its slave, and the soul had no choice but to obey.
Once a great magician tempted by the power of darkness, it now remembered nothing of its former life, save that which the Carnifex saw fit for it to recall. Its magic.
The mage took control of the Carnifex's host body, at once revelling in the sensation of physical form and yet quailing at the horror of its predicament.
The armoured revenant's gauntlets moved in a series of arcane patterns, tracing symbols in the air as a voice spoke simultaneously from the blade itself and the ruined throat of its host, chanting the words of a spell long forgotten in this world.
Just as the Golem attempted to flatten the Carnifex with its massive fist, the spell was completed. The undead monstrosity threw itself to one side, taking control over its host once more and sending its incorporeal slave back to its prison.
A jolt of power spread through the ground as the magic took hold. Streams of arcane energy spread through the earth, arcing from molecule to molecule, drawing together the tiny deposits of metal from within the Earth's crust. Tentacles of a nameless alloy burst from the ground, wrapping around the golem and completely immobilising it before starting to squeeze tighter and tighter.
As the construct began to crumble, the Carnifex regained its footing and continued on its way.
Whether Amadeth would help or hinder the sword in its battle against Valeij was yet to be seen.
It would be wise to ensure she was kept busy.
As yet more of the metallic monsters approached, the Carnifex lashed out with its chains, sending a jolt of power through both the weapons and itself, enhancing its strength as it yanked its enemies from the ground and sent them flying in the direction where it sensed Amadeth lurked.
Even as she emerged from the tent with her new army of undead animals following closely behind, she found herself face to face with their equivalents made of metal instead of bone.
Meanwhile the Carnifex was almost at its target. Its sword became a barbed javelin, glowing with unholy energies. Attaching the shaft to one of its chains, the Carnifex threw the weapon directly towards Valeij, sending a pulse of hellfire before it to burn any dolls that got in its way.
Edit: Mar 10, 12 5:01pm
|posts in thread|
Mar 23, 12 at 8:17am ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
Okay, judging time.
Spoiler:Tiger of Wu
I liked the start of your introduction post. It established the tone for your two battle posts, as well as the duel as a whole. I did feel you could have had Amadeth do something else though. Cutting out the dialogue, you only really have two, maybe three paragraphs of writing. Some more description of the surrounding scenery perhaps, or maybe why/how Amadeth got to this carnival in the first place. Anyway it had some laughs and was reasonably entertaining, so there isn't much to complain about.
Your first battle post also started pretty well, along with some great lampshading. The bit where Arimus saves Selig from the Carnifex is a little awkward though. First it happens and nothing is really clear, then the writing backtracks and clarifies. I don't know, I just found it confusing to read. There's also the bit with, I don't know, that girl Amadeth lands on? At least I think she lands on her. "Buffer" was a very poor choice of words, whatever it meant. Again the writing becomes confusing, to the point where all the humour and dialogue was wasted on me, because the writing gives no indication to who Amadeth and Selig are talking about the entire time. So basically I liked this post, except for those two bits.
Your second battle post kept the fighting interesting enough. The tent spike and the Grip of Despair coming up through the ground. Amadeth's dialogue about zombies having pride and her armour being stronger than the Carnifex were a little much. Back to back, they felt a little like the an action hero making corny quips in a movie. The anti-gravity was fun, though the grenades weren't really described. The end was some good setup, though I'm unsure whether that "25%" was the amount of power in Amadeth's suit or the amount left in the girl.
To be quite honest, I thought your introduction post was a little messy. To begin with Selig was apparently close enough to listen to Amadeth make her little speech, despite there being no mention of him in Tiger's post, which is already a little hard to swallow. He then spends a lot of time talking to her, or rather monologue. The only time Amadeth reacts to him is when she fires a shot between Selig's legs, when I'm sure she would normally have quite a number of things to say and do. We also don't get any explanation as to why Selig was there beyond him wanting to look up Amadeth's armour. Did he know she would be there? Was he walking by when he spotted her? I would have liked some details and explanation.
A nice opening line for your first battle post. The sentence "That was surprisingly fast" needs to be combined with another one, however. On its own it makes no sense, and comes off as stilted. The action you wrote was good, though I would have liked some more blow-by-blow description of the running through the carnival attractions. The attack from underneath against the bear was interesting, though then there's this sentence "The bear soon realised Selig was trying to hack of its legs due to him using his sword to hack off its legs". There should be an "off" there instead of "of", and there's also the repetition. Was this deliberately done for humour? Not sure. There's also the stuff about the frogs climbing under Selig's skin and how Selig doesn't actually need to breathe. I guess this is more of what you meant when you said we'd learn more about Selig, but I have to say I'm not really a fan. It mostly just seems to involve him having random abilities and some vague dialogue here and there.
Another good opening line for your second battle post. Selig getting ripped up by the bear was certainly sudden and surprising, but it's there that things begin to get weird. You refer to the bear as the "Carnifex" and call the Carnifex itself the "Executioner" which is a completely different character of DG's. Anyway this Valeij guy shows up, which I guess is another thing to learn, seeing as I can't find any reference to him on your character sheet, and says he's a god. There's some nice description of him ripping up the place, and something to do with dolls which I won't even pretend to understand. Anyway, the overall result if strange, but sort of awesome.
I like how you started your intro post. Comparing your characters to the others, it must have been difficult to insert humour, so I appreciate the few snarky lines you did manage to sneak in. While the description of the Carnifex Deum is excellent as always, he doesn't really do anything here. He pretty much just emerges from the portal and stands there, while I would have very much enjoyed him saying or doing something.
The image of the Carnifex's rotting flesh pouring out of its crotch and into Selig's mouth is one I don't think I will ever forget. You seemed to go a bit overboard on him, considering you left him with a bear on top of him and hands dragging him down into the earth, but whatever. The fighting between Amadeth and the Carnifex was very well done, though I think the line "Combat was joined" is a little unnecessary when bullets and grenades are being tossed around.
Your second battle post definitely changed things up a little. I will say, though, the idea that the Carnifex can become this powerful at any time and simply chooses not too comes off as a little contrived. The new voice was fun to read, and represented the myriad of voices very well. Your paragraphs got a lot more fragmented than they needed to be here, so you might want to watch out for that in the future. I would have liked it if you had re-introduced Amadeth and her army sooner. Seeing as Tiger set that up two posts earlier, it would have been good to see the undead animals actually do something.
Tiger of Wu. For this duel I'm going to give you first place. While it seemed like the situation sometimes ran away from you (The confusing bits I noted) overall you had a good blend of action and comedy. Congratulations.
DG, I'm going to give you second. Your battle posts were both very well done, but I felt like I could have just skipped over your introduction post and read the rest of the duel just fine. Otherwise, a solid effort.
Selig Hecht, I'm going to give you third. Your introduction post had me stopping at a lot of points and asking myself "Really?" Bits of your first and second battle post were also confusing, particularly Valeij. Maybe he's explained in a chronicle post or something, but at least a basic understanding of him should have been communicated here. Otherwise, I thought some of your imagery and action quite good.
|posts in thread|
Apr 01, 12 at 4:34pm ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
Well, this'll be my first time voting on a three-way duel, sounds fun .
Spoiler:Tiger of Wu
I think this may be my first time voting on Amadeth.
WCs aside at least. Anyway, should be fun! So... We open with that Latin phrase, right into the dialogue. Hahaha, how old is this post? Well, let me say that whatever more recent issues you've been having with Amadeth, they are not evident here. This rings of knowing exactly what variety of fun you're intending to achieve. It's cheesy and daft, and it works, cus it's dumb fun and it suits her, or at least what I understand her as, an unwound, more carefree action = a party Faith to Malali's tempered Buffy.
And hey she's on location too, fluidly executed and fitting of her silly antics, kudos. So effective that it seems to be able to empower derelict machinery to play along, huh. Oh, chance for minor criticism, dibs, mine!
... the wheel increased to a speed health and safety regulators would frown upon...
I would opt to insert a "that" into the middle of "speed heath", just as it's a bit of a strange next word to run into and you have to carry on a few more words before the big picture comes together. Just a tiny thing, which Amadeth and I suspect you through her are getting no end of fun outta saying about Selig. I've thought this duel could really have a fantastic chemistry between the writers more than once, you and Selig in particular being on similar wavelengths of for the crazy luls of it, and DG being no slouch but a relative straight man on the kinky stuff who'll only make the whole thing funnier for his contrast. Or so I had imagined.
But back to the real deal itself. If there's a special reason why the duel is happening, like in-universe, I haven't picked it up yet, thus far it seems to be one of those ambiguous "arranged" situations. Yes, a part of me does wonder at what would draw these unusual individuals to this place, as it's clearly beyond coincidence, and maybe I'll get to find out. That aside, which I don't mark you down for, by the way, this intro post leaves me wanting for nothing, it's fun and suits the character slash shows her off well and sets the scene with fine style.
Hahaha, the fourth wall like everything else is not safe from Amadeth violating it, and I see she/you agreed with me on DG's intro post. So anyway, crotch-grab, and rules, I am amused. Things get off to a good start, but about the time we get to (amusingly-phrased) cat and mouse chase, it does feel as if the epic clash of this fight - funny or not epic is still due I feel - is verging on tardy. So Amedeth takes that big sword of hers out, does she make another quip to Selig first? No, but by God you're having fun with your descriptions, hahaha. Okay the battle has gotten epic before foot-tapping could commence in earnest, good work. And, oh boy, I was just about to wonder how well you'll do at using three combatants at once. Then I read Selig hitting on your, um, lobotomised slave buffer person, and that was awesome, as was the use of an emote to follow, lawd this feels like a Corruption and Rust duel the more I read . Calling Selig stupid and sexy was funny as well, keep this up and I'll have to switch to bullet point form to avoid sounding repetitive and just preface it "Things I found funny:".
Oh man this is great, the innuendo, Zone is giving a standing ovation for the Saiyan-esque cumshot part. Also, the "sword in hand and steed beneath" was more conventional awesomeness, but a lovely eloquent bit of phrasing none the less. Things continue solidly to the end, though the very final sentence, the one that's its own paragraph, feels just a bit strange, like something should have made Amadeth stop and blink all surprised and such, only you didn't say what, and having Selig be still running from the Carnifex means it doesn't really set up a free hand-off to your opponent for "And then they were doing something way cool worthy of making her stop and stare", though if that was what it was meant to be, kudos on the sporting gesture, but it came off a bit rough, and without as much freedom as would have suited that the best.
But you are really on your game here, the posts are a bit short to me but that applies to everyone, so if this is just the scale of duel it was settled you all wanted, that's cool. Whatever's happened since, I have to say this Amadeth strikes me as having no issues being awesome.
Starting the final battle post, having Amadeth yell at her suit slash the cyber-Firins to do what DG implied she did earlier worked really, really damned well for fitting her character and taking things up yet another notch while fitting the flow of what was happening. I can see her having that kind of odd "diplomatic difficulty" with her suit and I really just felt sold on it soundly and smoothly. And it leads into instant introduction to epic clash, with butting of heads and bullet-supported iron-fisted face-punching. This is relevant to my interests.
The entire second paragraph was sheer badassery, beyond my ability to critique, only admire. Then the third, with the weapon > armour > you logic so stylishly delivered, is also awesome. "The ground around her appeared as if a meteor had landed in it" is about the only part that I can criticise in the next, "appeared" just feels clumsy, I'd switch it out for "depressed" or possibly "cratered", with an option on that if being a though, but otherwise awesome, I wonder what power mode is.
Hahaha, and here cometh Selig. Full points for bringing him back into the fray at pretty much the perfectly-judged time - sooner would feel like he beat the bear kind of hastily, but much latter and it'd start to lose the three-way feel (admittedly it does feel a bit more like a two on one right now, but what the hey I don't think you should force an all-on-all dynamic over how the characters would act). Luls, PJ? I could look up what the J stands for, I'm guessing P's Projectile, but it's funnier to think of it as a part of her pyjamas now. Amadeth has somehow won me over too, despite the clear loony she is, her shouting at Selig, frustration at the situation, and comical over-demanding of her suit is just amusing me and making me feel for the pressure she's under. I don't know if you were trying to do that, but I'm bloody and genuinely impressed you have done without more overt sympathy-farming.
Luls and Selig is juggling the Carnifex, that's so funny that "a dark shout of annoyance" is just plain amusing whether intention parody or not. The whole rest to the end, with the minute exception of being oh so slightly confused on whether or not Selig and Amadeth are enemies, now, in combat terms, was just swell, and really this was just a real deal bloody brilliant post and performance overall. There are maybe a half-dozen improvements you could make to your entire contribution to the duel, pretty much all in the single-word-tweak region, and again, whatever's troubling you with her since, Amadeth seems here to be top of her game, she comes across with a really solid, clear personality, which is distinctive, fun, and engaging, and yeah, ace work.
This is barely related, but I loved using Selig in the Ultimate Showdown. He was fun to write, and to read then in those size-limited posts, I look forward to seeing him here .
So, I have to admit, though the comical swagger you carry it off with does minimise the damage, having Selig just be there all of an awfully sudden sudden, watching Amadeth, did come off as a little bit crude. She would have seen him, and although you didn't do the entire affair, the old "I was watching you all along and you didn't know it" is one of the hammiest, cheapest, most overused, and often badly-used one-upping literary devices. At least you didn't do it from some high place, like a roof top. I swear, every time I see a bunch of shadowy, new figures looking down on and observing an established character in an anime especially, and then they pointlessly vocalise to one another about said observed character having no idea about all of the bad things about to happen to them sooooon, I go and find some tentacle rape porn to super-impose the faces of the watchers over the ones getting raped, because my God I am so sick of that device.
But you didn't do all that, so yay . What you did do was still a little sloppy, but as I said your rock-solid Selig being Selig swag meant you got away with it lightly. Carrying on, you might have kinda laid all your uh, ahem, cards on the table a bit prematurely with the pants dropping in such rapid order, this whole post feels just a tiny bit rushed, like you wrote a full post that was about 20% longer then cut all a lot of the transitional pacing out to fit some non-existent word count limit. It's a bit odd, but again not significantly harmful.
Hahaha, mentioning /b/, class, good to see Selig's a contemporary man enough to not be afraid to acknowledge the times. And a tip of my hat to you on being sporting enough to sell DG's character's fearsomeness ahead of even his own self-written arrival. It kinda makes up for the slightly short change you dealt Amadeth - I would suspect favouritism but I know you like both Tiger and DG, and you're just a cool girl in any case and probably wouldn't be like that to people you're having a duel with (or in general). The post did feel like it could have taken its time a little more, just a sentence here or there of pause to let things happen a little less rapidly than automatic fire one after the other, and what Selig overheard made it pretty canonical he had spied successfully on Amadeth for a fair part of her dancing around waiting for him. If you'd had him approach her, having overheard the part she sung, and walked up pretty much right after Tiger's intro post ended, having arrived a minute or two before, that would allow the very same reply and mitigated the original tacky ninja-spy issue. These faults, minor as they are, aside, this was charismatic Seligacity end to end, and lots of fun to read; whatever flaws you may have as a writer, the lively portrayal of your own character's personality is not among 'em.
On to the next post for you, and, hahaha, well that's a very good way to start it. I actually feel the all-caps is justified and I honestly feel empathy for Selig right now, like normally it wouldn't work, but the way you phrased it just so manages to really make it both seem as if the uppercase yelling is validated and like Selig's being upset is understandable and surprisingly endearing. In those first two concise paragraphs you've just won me right over and made me smile hugely .
That aside, you're doing a damn fine job of making run away an action scene, and giving it a meaningful feel. Also handling the frogs angle Tiger kicked off for you well still, got plans I see. His tactics are a good mixture of clever and fittingly reckless, and I'm enjoying the mix of action and comedy, especially the bear just flopping on top of him. This part here: "The bear soon realised Selig was trying to hack of its legs due to him using his sword to hack off its legs" did have a bit of an editing mishap I fear, but that was likely a freak issue, so no point elaborating on it further. But yeah the stab in the calf, full points for making things have a sense of consequence rather than shrugging them off with cosmetic scrapes and bruises, kudos. And like I said, the flop, both effective and funny. It's probably not in here but even the potential for Selig to get a face full of bear wang just amuses me as part of his pervert woobie status in this duel so far. I see you at least acknowledge the sexual tension, hehehe. I'm a little lost on Selig not needing to breathe and all that followed, is that a thing that happened to him at some point I missed? Last I'd heard, he was a fine but mortal specimen of humanity. Well, that mystery aside, a better post than your intro, had the same Seligacity and character-driven fun without the rushed feel or other issue of before, nice one.
Final battle post now, and things get off to a solid start. I feel as if something was missing, early on, whatever it was making the "plat" noises basically, I think what's happening is Selig is floating about in the anti-gravity and absorbing frogs or something, but it's just a little bit unclear. Anyway, having him admit he was outmatched was an excellent touch in my eyes, just makes it feel real, rather than that sensation of falseness you sometimes get where everyone's powers just match up decently somehow and it's all balanced and safe. Anyway, the froggy stroked bit is funny, although I would have put a hyphen in to make it froggy-stroked, just reads more intuitively like that. You've got a very strong sense of immersion in Selig's point of view, and as I say that I realise such was the case in your last post too, but now it's even more evident and solid, and it's good stuff. And oopsy, you put "the Executioner" in, which although it is part of the Carnifex's translated name, is also another of DG's characters, potential slip I think, capitalisation and Selig not having even heard the sword's un-translated name and all. Anyway... oh my God Selig just got butchered.
Well uh, top points for dramatic effect, and great use of an existing element, the bear. Heck, stuff dramatic effect, great way to sell the view Selig had about being in over his head as legitimate. I still do think you've got a name mix-up happening - the Carnifex is the sword, the bear and host are nameless, and The Executioner is a different DG character who used the Carnifex during the Ultimate Showdown. Setting that aside though (and I can see now why you might be confused), this is crazy. I'm not even sure if it's entirely 100% kosher, since Selig and Valeij are separate characters, but what the Hell, this is really cool, way to rise to the challenge. I also love how, even now, in the depths of your awesome, you're still having fun with analogies like a USB stick full of porn. "A puppy wagging his tails" goes right back to the epic kind of comparison, and well, this is awesome. Right at the start, DG's intro post was full of epic description, but like, for what was happening and when it felt overdone. This and now on the other hand, just feels purely awesome and worthy. I did not in all honesty think either you or DG would surpass Tiger's post quality during this duel, as I feel that though you've both done well, he has been at the head of the pack. But I think you just did. Wow.
Alrighty, following right in from Selig's post, good form.
"It, or at least that part which first had first caught Selig's-" too many firsts, this isn't a YouTube comments section. Also, I know what you mean, but "a gigantic bear of at least 4 feet in height" sounds a tad ridiculous (also either the "of" or "in" should be snipped). What I think you meant was 4 feet at the shoulder, but you said in height, and both as a technical term and what it first brings to mind when we (the reader) read that word is the feet-to-head tallness of an animal if it can stand upright, which bears can. It doesn't take long to put the correct image together, but the pause needed to do that detracted from the impact of the awesome of what you were describing. It's like if you paused in the middle of sex to reach over and close the blinds because the sun had started getting in your eyes: the position of the sun doesn't reflect badly of your sexual ability, but it still breaks the flow. Not much, but if possible better it not happen than it does.
Moving on, "Rusting plating" sounds a tad repetitive, though I do get what you mean and why you picked rusting over rusted, but maybe if it was "Rusting plates of armour" or something it'd sound better. Coming right after that, "shrieked a mournful dirge into the night sky" puts me on the fence over whether it's more hammy or wicked, but I'll give you points for it. I would complain about Amy blanching at the smelly dead bear odour, but heck I guess it's possible she still finds a few things gross or at least unpleasant. I suppose it's also possible she has a functioning nose. While your descriptions are high quality, all the detail vivid and the prose not badly purple, I can't help feeling the duration of the introduction is a bit overwrought. I mean, we all love our characters and think they're cool, or at least neat, but you are arriving on the battlefield. Which is a circus. You're here for a fight, and you're not even half the combatants, nor does the existing situation revolve around you, nor do I expect you to be ridiculously, this-much-hype-worthy dominant in the struggle. The point is it's all a bit pornographic, like one of those videos of a woman showing off a fine ass and pair of tits that lasts half an hour. No matter how fine her curves are, after the first 5 minutes the point has been covered, so either do something or wrap it up, there are only so many poses or angles one can present. You have the same issue here. All of this was high quality descriptive writing, both the subject matter and the way it's captured and conveyed excellent, but collectively it's excessive and unbalanced. I will give a special mention to the chains that came out of the gauntlet and surrounded the Carnifex's hilt, just because, despite coming towards the end of the post, when things were dragging on, it was so damned cool I still grinned at it. But let's recap what happened in this post. The Carnifex, it's wielder, and said wielder's mount rose out of the ground, looked at the enemy, and drew the sword.
That's it. And if it happened in say, 60% of the time it took, that'd be fine, although I'd hope you'd do something more, cus that would be a damn short post. That's the basic problem here, this intro post has just very little actual content. Amadeth sang and danced, Selig had a chat and flashed Amadeth, you just rose out of a hole and drew weapon (and Selig beat you to that angle, what ho!). Your writing is great - what you are writing about needed more substance to it, is all.
But hey, it's not bad, it could just definitely be better like.
Now, to battle. You are straight-manning the silliness going on to an applause-worthy level right from the get go, good show sir. Although, don't try and tell me "The Carnifex made use of its equipment" had no teased double-meaning to it . Also I learned a new word today, raiment, thanks . Carrying on now, command and commanded in very short succession, a bit repetitive. Also, you seemed to dismount twice, and dismiss Selig before casting a spell to deal with him, was there some editing mishap there? Back to positives, "on what remained of her face" was a classic case of succinct and effective description.
Getting to grips with Amadeth now, and although I usually don't place much stock in attacks that just hit despite being obvious, you got it to work pretty well with Amy's reaction, and by showing her character and handling it quite decently, it doesn't feel like you're pedestal-placing your own character badly. The slime blob thing didn't last at all long, but the way Carny dealt with it, arcane-electrified cage of chains, was badass enough for it to pass, although right after that I swear you also did the flaming balls in place of eyes thing just back in your last post. I can't help but feel this is getting a little bit turn-based, though Amadeth does start to try different things to harm the Carnifex's host, but still it doesn't really feel like they're in a fight so much as playing fantasy Battleships. Frag grenades to C11, did I sink your host? No, damn, lightning bolt to my B7? Nice try but you didn't get my Amadeth. It's not bad as a prelude, and the end did promise combat to be joined in earnest, but I kinda wish it had while this post was still going, what was happening was cool and all but in a 2-battle-post duel you really could have gotten into the meat of it.
Certainly an improvement on your first post though, more content, and style that felt like it had substance as well as flashiness. Good one.
Final post, from you and for the duel, you've got a lot to live up to here, let's see how you do. You start it off strong at the very least I feel, managing to convey both the due respect of Selig's last post, and also soundly getting across the Carnifex's own ageless experience with beings terrible and powerful. Having it speak especially, I have an appreciation of how genuinely rare that is. Man, you are not going to fall short on the build-up here at all it seems. And then straight into kick-ass action, Hells yes I declare! I kinda wish you'd written some of this earlier, like not quite this epic cus then this wouldn't be kicking matters up a notch, just along similar lines, but balls to it, this is awesome. I really feel like this is a big damned deal now.
Carni-pistol? Shit yeah . Then calling up a magician's soul, Jesus, I feel like as a writer you've just gone Super Saiyan, I mean, you were good before, real good, but this is epic. And then we have Amadeth at the front of a bestial zombie army. Holy crap this is awesome. This. Is. Awesome. Even to the end, with a Hell spear hurled at Valeij with a crest of furious flame, unholy crap so win.
I am going to have to stop judging duels from such great writers. The meaning behind me saying holy crap that was just a mind-blowingly awesome duel is going to lose weight if I keep getting forced to say it cus I'll sound like I'm just yes-manning. This isn't quite as bonkers and epic as the SDT final, I think, but for having a loose grounding in sanity it's pretty damn close, the main of it felt good and solid and in the final round it just soared to epic altitude.
So yeah, a good duel in the main, turned amazing come the last round. This was actually the key to my decision. Of the three of you, Tiger was in top form pretty much start to end, while Selig had a bit of a weaker intro post, though not badly so, and DG's was yet a shade weaker than her's. Selig's first battle post was more on form, and DG did quite well as well, although not quite as well, but really close, and then in the third quarter Selig and DG just exploded and I do not know who did better among them, it's extremely hard to call as they offered different things, Selig a real sense of gravity and life and death weight to events, and DG another kind of significance and a not as deep, but more action-packed kind of epicness. Yet neither DG, nor Selig won my vote, but Tiger. Although I feel he was bested twice in the last round, it wasn't by much, and his earlier performance put him in a lead that Selig and DG savaged impressive, but didn't manage to quite eradicate and reverse in the final round. If I were to grade posts, all of Tiger's would be an A. Selig's would go B+, A-, and A+, and DG's would go B, B+, and A+. In summary, that's a solid A for the Tiger, just over an A- for Selig and just under one for DG. Were this decided on final posts alone, I don't know who I'd pick, but am very, very slightly favouring DG by a tie-breaker factor of his battle post having more battling in it, and that just goes to underline the value of giving your all from start to end, and consistency. I am impressed by all three of you, Tiger for managing to somewhat exceed my already high expectations of him, DG for pulling out hands down the most epic single battle post I have read in a long time, and Selig for being in my eyes the underdog and not only holding her own, but coming I think appreciably close to claiming the win, all things considered and such.
Damn good show. I am going to love reading the victory post.
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Apr 08, 12 at 8:51am ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
Fyrestorm I never thought I would see sexual metaphors in a judging post.
Anyway seeing as you judged I guess you don't need a battle report.
Tiger of Wu Feel free to do that victory post.
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|Tiger of Wu||
Apr 10, 12 at 5:21am ^re: The following show contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
Amadeth looked at the metallic animals and shrugged. "Any juice left?" she asked her buffer.
"Five per-cent," she huffed in reply, barely able to breathe. Amadeth casually waved a hand to the metallic monsters and golems before her.
"Be a doll and see if you can do something about them."
Her skeletal creatures had already charged forward, most of them breaking apart at least once before reforming and running on. Amadeth's buffer threw her hands forward, then fell to the ground as Valeij's creatures suddenly found themselves having a change of heart. She couldn't make them attack Valeij, but she could at least point them back towards the Carnifex. "One... per-cent..." the buffer whispered. Amadeth ignored her as she lit a spliff on a nearby flame. She couldn't recall when or how fire had come into the equation. Then again, she couldn't recall when or how Valeij had either.
"How's the kid?" she asked, blowing out a cloud of smoke.
"Sewiouswy fucked up, but he's nowhere cwose to bweaking," Firine replied.
"He's been through worse, and will be put through worse, but it appears that that will happen on another plane. Even if they will go to such a plane, we won't be able to," Firinar added grimly.
"And the sword?"
"It has far too much contwol. We wouwdn't have been abwe to even if we weawwy wanted."
Amadeth took another drag of her spliff, breathed it in deeply and then sighed. "Fine," she said, making seemingly random gestures with her hand. "We're done here."
Valeij laughed as the Carnifex, gripped by one of the Chains of Despair, bounced back and forth in an attempt to impale him. The dolls, both the miniature humans and the metallic carnival beasts, danced with the skeletal animals around them. Somehow Arimus had found his way into the fight, machine guns bursting in all directions. He soon got the message and flew out of the way as Suvi, Amadeth's white spaceship, crash landed at the centre of the fray.
"It's been fun, kids," Amadeth shouted as she walked towards the ship. Valeij and the Carnifex were underneath it, as far as she could tell. The puppets and the skeletal animals, even the Carnifex's host, had all dropped, seemingly dead. Of course death and life were just aspects of a greater existence to creatures like them. "Sorry, but mommy has a date." Suvi's doors opened, allowing Amadeth to climb in. Arimus followed, dragging Amadeth's unconscious buffer with him.
The zombie neko-elf flew away before either of her former enemies broke through her ship, or tried to fight either of the Firins for control over it. Souls were a dangerous things to control. It made Amadeth wonder whether she had one anymore, whether she would even be able to ascend at all. It was a grim thought, but as she flew away it was all that she could think about.
Back on the ground, the screaming of the tortured dead echoed. Amadeth was finished, but the other two were far from it.
Almost one of the good guys.
None of us is a saint.
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