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 Topic: John Cena's Wrestling School ||
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 Zhou Tai RocksCruisiN'
     total posts: 20883 GameGrep pts: 601 since: Nov 2005 |
 Jul 09, 09 at 6:38am |
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WWE Live Event, St. Louis Missouri. July 9th, 2009. 11:30 PM EST John Cena is packing his duffel bag, ready to leave the arena, when he is approached by none other than Vincent Kennedy McMahon himself, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Dr. McMahon: John, can I have a word with you? John Cena: Sup Vince, what would you fancy talking about? Dr. McMahon: I just received the tests from your doctor. You've tested positive for AIDS. John and Dr. Vincent share an awkward moment of silence. John Cena: Well this can't be very good. Dr McMahon: John, you know my policy. John Cena: Please Doctor Vince, gimme one more chance. I can change Doctor Vince, I can change. Dr. McMahon: No gays allowed, John. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to release you from your contract. Dr Vince takes John's contract out of his pocket and rips it into tiny pieces. Dr. McMahon: I'll see you in hell, mother*bleep*er. Cena stands motionless, staring down at his ripped up contract. He's relationshipless, jobless, what's next? Suddenly, John receives a call on his cell phone. John Cena: Hello? Matt Hardy: John..John, I have some bad news man. John Cena: What? What is it man? Matt Hardy: John, it's your house John. Your house has burned to the ground John. There's nothing left. John Cena: No Matt, no! What about Tony, man, what about Tony?! Matt Hardy: You mean the homosexual African American man you met in overseas, and who also made a guest appearance in the Smackdown! vs. Raw 2009 video game? John Cena: Yes. Matt Hardy: Oh, he's dead. Matt hung up, leaving John to sulk about being relationshipless, jobless, and now homeless - alone. What would he do now? John Cena: What will I do now? This message was edited by Zhou Tai Rocks on Sep 01 2009. -------------------  | |
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Zhou Tai Rocks CruisiN'
total posts: 20883 GameGrep pts: 601 since: Nov 2005 |
Jul 09, 09 at 6:39am |
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Main Event John Cena | World John Cena World Cup Champion --- --- Karlito Karribean Kool Randy Orton | World John Cena Hardcore Champion Uppercard John Bradshaw Layfield Kurt Angle Paul London Shelton Benjamin --- --- Big Daddy V Brock The Rock Lesnar Lance Storm Matt Hardy Notorious Pac AKA Krunkkore Kid AKA Michael Holsing The Hazard | | World John Cena World Champion Midcard Mike Knox Rodzilla | World John Cena Tag Team Champion The Animal Batista --- --- Dolph Ziggler JTG Kenny Dykstra Shad Gaspard Lowercard A-Train | World John Cena Tag Team Champion Hardcore Holly Hunter Hypnosis Helmsly | Deceased Mr. Cena Raven --- --- Akon Joey Abs Klassy Kris Kanyon Pete Gas Rodney Shaq Pack Slam Master J-eeeeeezzzzy Divas N/A --- --- Mark Henrita Staff Jerry King Lawler | Commentator John Cena | Co-Owner Michael Cole | Commentator --- --- Charlies Robinson | Evil Referee John Bradshaw Layfield | Co-Owner Teams/Stables A Train and Rodzilla | Rodzilla & A-Train The Cena's | John Cena & Mr. Cena Worlds Greatest Tag Team | Shelton Benjamin & Rodzilla & The Animal Batista --- --- A-Team | The Hazard & Akon Cryme Tyme | Shad Gaspard & JTG Karlito Karribean Kapo | Karlito Karribean Kool & Klassy Kris Kanyon Mean Street Posse | Pete Gas & Joey Abs & Rodney Randy Orton's Men | Kenny Dykstra & Dolph Ziggler WORLD JOHN CENA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP  REIGNING CHAMPION: The Hazard DEFENSES: 0 PREVIOUS CHAMPION: Karlito Karribean Kool WORLD JOHN CENA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS  REIGNING CHAMPION(s): Rodzilla & A-Train DEFENSES: 1 PREVIOUS CHAMPION(s): Mean Street Posse WORLD JOHN CENA HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP  REIGNING CHAMPION: Randy Orton DEFENSES: 0 PREVIOUS CHAMPION: John Cena WORLD JOHN CENA WORLD CUP  REIGNING CHAMPION: John Cena DEFENSES: 0 PREVIOUS CHAMPION: N/A WORLD JOHN CENA HYP TITLE  REIGNING CHAMPION: Pete Gas DEFENSES: 0 PREVIOUS CHAMPION: Hunter Hypnosis Helmsly Championship History World John Cena World Championship 1. The Hazard [0 defenses] 2. Karlito Karribean Kool [1 defense] 3. The Hazard (2) World John Cena Tag Team Championships 1. Mean Street Posse 2. Rodzilla & A-Train World John Cena Hardcore Championship 1. Randy Orton [9 defenses] 2. Matt Hardy [0 defenses] 3. John Cena [0 defenses] 4. Randy Orton (2) World John Cena World Cup 1. John Cena World John Cena Hyp Title 1. Hunter Hypnosis Helmsly 2. Pete Gas Update Archive John gets fired for being gay John forms a partnership with a Wrestling God John Loses the Hardcore title to a Viper John wants You to comment John meets The Hazards' Mean Street Posse John meets The Hazard in his Poppin' Club John defeats Mark Henry to become the number one contender for the World John Cena World Championship John and JBL are ambushed by Randy Orton's men John meets Shelton Benjamin on the midnight train goin' anywhere John and Lance Storm move onto Round 2 of the World John Cena World Cup Tournament John gains a team to fight The Hazards' Posse and makes a card John Cena‘s Wrestling School Presents: Brutal Metabolism John and JBL get beat up by Cryme Tyme because they're pussies John and JBL go to Denny's John and his friends play Laser Tag to see who'll challenge Karlito for the World John Cena World Championship Kurt Angle wins Laser Tag and the right to challenge Karlito for the World John Cena World Championship John gets a Worlds Strongest Slam from a Big Black Grizzly Bear and posts another card John Cena‘s Wrestling School Presents: Ultrafine Firebird Abdomen John and his gang are spied on by Randy Orton in their secret hideout in Mr. Cena's basement John is outwitted by The Viper, who is then outwitted by someone not even he would expect John really grinds Matt Hardy's gears and posts a new card John Cena‘s Wresltling School Presents: John Cena's Wrestling School John and his rivals confront Jerry King Lawler, start a war with TNA and post a card This message was edited by Zhou Tai Rocks on Oct 26 2009. This message was edited by Zhou Tai Rocks on Oct 26 2009. ------------------- | |
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 SapphorousResident Neo
  total posts: 2716 since: Jan 2007 |
 Jul 09, 09 at 6:42am |
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I haven't seen as good a back story like that since...
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Amethyst Neolithic
  since: May 2008 |
Jul 09, 09 at 7:44am |
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I support this.
Do go on. Right now. -------------------  | |
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Zhou Tai Rocks CruisiN'
total posts: 20883 GameGrep pts: 601 since: Nov 2005 |
Jul 09, 09 at 8:13am |
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John Cena's Hotel Room, St. Louis Missouri. July 10th, 2009. 1:23 PM EST John Cena is sitting alone in his hotel room crying like a pussy girl, when all of the sudden, his phone begins to ring. John Cena: Hello. Sylvan: Hey you silly goose! John Cena: Hi Sylvan. Sylvan: What's wrong hun? John Cena: Doctor Vince figured out I was gay and fired me. Sylvan: Awwwwwww. John Cena: And my house burnt down. Sylvan: Awwwwwwwww. John Cena: My life partner also died in the fire. Sylvan: Awwww-- so you're available? John Cena: You can't afford me, bitch. Sylvan calls John a mother*bleep*er and hangs up on him. John Cena: Lord, I need a sign. What do I do? That's when John's good friend JBL arrived. John Cena: How did you get in here? JBL: John, I heard you were fired for being a *bleep*. John Cena: Yes. JBL: Why don't you open a Wrestling School for people like me who can't wrestle worth a flying *bleep*. John contemplated the idea for a few moments. A wrestling school? Could he really run something that took so much time and effort? John Cena: That's a class A idea. JBL: Sounds good John, now as the creator of this idea, and your business partner, I'll be expecting 90% of all income and full credit for every accomplishment we ever make. You'll also need to finance it, all of my monies currently tied up in trying to put Shawn Michaels kids through college. John Cena: I never asked you to be-- JBL: Lovely, I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, partner. JBL leaves Cena to contemplate his situation. --- --- --- 30 minutes later, John Cena ties a noose around his neck and tries to hang himself from the ceiling fan, only for it to break and fall on top of him, knocking Cena out. ------------------- | |
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Sapphorous Resident Neo
total posts: 2716 since: Jan 2007 |
Jul 09, 09 at 8:15am |
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^ Lol.
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Hypnosis Devils May Cry
Still Seekin' total posts: 3284 since: Oct 2007 |
Jul 09, 09 at 8:16am |
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im offended, turned off and strangely aroused all at the same time...keep it up ;34;
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pedigree
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 Jul 09, 09 at 10:28am |
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LMFAO at the ending.
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ProtoWolf dangerous
total posts: 194 since: Jun 2007 |
Jul 09, 09 at 11:26am |
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Well we all already new Cena couldn't die, but proof made it hilarious.
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Lone Wolf nWo ONEDEADDREAM
Two much Neo since: Apr 2003 |
Jul 09, 09 at 11:32am |
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I lol'd.
Well done. Keep it up. ------------------- =====================================
THIS IS IGNORANCE! FAILURE TO EVOLVE IS FAILURE TO US ALL! WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT THIS IS WHERE WE FALL? ===================================== | |
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Dac Two much Neo
 total posts: 2338 since: Apr 2007 |
Jul 09, 09 at 3:28pm |
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I lol'd a lot. lmao at Cena trying to hang himself
 See Eth, I told you you still had it. Glad you came through with this idea.  ------------------- Soon as my flow starts
I compose art Like the ghost of Mozart | |
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Disenchanted Baby Loves To Dance In The Dark
Resident Neo  since: Jul 2008 |
Jul 09, 09 at 4:11pm |
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This would be better if it was the Lady GaGa wrestling school, but still very good.
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killer iPod Billy :D
Resident Neo  total posts: 2932 since: Apr 2008 |
Jul 09, 09 at 4:39pm |
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lol very funny ZTR. Cena trying to hang himself but the fan breaking was class. Good stuff, keep it up. I'm sure you'll make some funny and bizarre signings.
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ShinyMilotic Legendary Seeker
 neopoints: 382 GameGrep pts: 186 since: Aug 2007 |
Jul 09, 09 at 5:20pm |
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TONY!! ;_;
------------------- quote The Hazard | |
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KingSpud7 Always imitated, Never Duplicated
Seeketh Maximus  total posts: 5145 since: Mar 2008 |
Jul 09, 09 at 7:00pm |
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ZTR diary.
Cena nearly dieing. its all good. -------------------  | |
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