blog Everyones doing it soooo....A Pokémon Emerald Randomlocke

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Hahahaha no.


Meh.





And here's what I miss out on because no balls. Also that's not 83 as in the number, it's :3 but there was no colon.


Dis gun b gud run.


:3 gives no *bleep*s.

*THINGS HAPPEN*


And here's my first Pokémon with balls in hand.


HurHurHur.


Although this poses a problem, as shitty RSE mother doesn't heal you.
*I made it to the Pokécenter with plenty to spare*
ROUTE 103 GO!


I know exactly where you're going.


Typo not intended, but kept. TOO ROUTE 102.


Yes yes yes.
Ok so :3 is too strong and might kill it in one and Kum is too weak to slowly weaken it with Pound so I'll Poison Gas it that should make it easy to catch.


You tell me how this ended.


I don't think I stressed enough that I got the best starter. Look at this sassy bitch. Look at her.


OH SHIT I FORGO-


Amount of *bleep*s given by the sassy bitch: -1


Ok lets see what's here.


Activating maximum approval.
>forgot to restock on balls
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Oh hey I caught it in the second last ball. Also I thought I screencapped the Nickname screen but apparently not. Either way he's called Soda because I couldn't name the starter after you and I hope this is good enough <3



Soda seen here, slapping the shit of some nobodies that came after him.


Hurhurhur.


[06:52:16] Kanon: COME ON STEP IT UP
[07:06:24] Kanon: QUICK
[07:06:27] Kanon: NICKNAME FOR A GOLDUCK
[07:06:34] Pheo: PSYDUCK
[07:06:45] Kanon: DONE

We'll have great adventures and-

*One step later*


Oh right....I need to stop throwing my Kum at things I catch.


RRRRRRUUUUUUURRRRUUUUUU's are rules.


Mite have been cool.


Is this place a *bleep*ing lake?


Apparently yes.


HOUNDOOM NO QUICK GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU DROWN.


Geez finally, poor :3 was basically invincible in Petalberg lake, but only had Water Gun to shoot back.


Oh bollocks.


Yeah see, I remembered this, and I'm ever so slightly Grass Weak.


So here's the plan.


It worked.


I CAN'T WAIT FOR A NEW-


.....let's just see what the cave holds......


THAT'S better. Sorts that Grass weak and will eat Brawly for breakfast.


I thought of Soda's Salamence.


So :3, what do you think of this Gym?


...


...


...








Damn it Soda why can't you learn Rock Tomb?

Current status:

---

Well at least you're good for something.

*Grind scene missing*


Okay lets go beat up this nerd.


Mah burd is better than yur bird.






...


Finally I figured out how to fling parts of my Kum at people, just pounding them with hardened Kum wasn't cutting it.


Yup.


DEWFORD


Why must Mamo not exist yeeeeeeeet!


Too many Ground types as is.


PETALBERG


While I do liek, it's redundant with :3 so.....


ROUTE SOMETHING OR OTHER(6?).


Even Masqurain wishes it were still part Water.


ROUTE 107


HAHA YES, THIS IS DELICIOUS.


>Calm
>Level 5

Actually never mind.




Let me sort that....





You might not want to bring Rule 34 here, The Lost Soul

Lets see what Granite Cave has on offEEEEER







You are mine.

So first I Slam it, that puts it into yellow, ok so I'll just have Ravager slap it with Astonish then start fuzzing balls and-


GOD DAMN IT RAVAGER WHY YOU GOTTA RAVAGING THINGS?


I won't complain, but....how...exactly?


Hey Soda you bitch, when you actually gonna learn a STAB move?


Weeeeell

Artists rendition:


Current Status

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Choo choo, the rapetrain is leaving the station, please be aware that brakes are not installed.


So we get though Granite and mug some guy of his shitty TM and now we have steel cotton.


FIRST THINGS FIRST.


>No Skill Link
>No Icicle Spear
>No Shell Smash



HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE


HOW ABOUT SLATEPORT?


' '<


Let's see if Route 110 has anything better.


Route 110 had something better.





"ERYBODY IN DA CLUB GETTIN' TIPSY"(What, why can't my Altaria be Black?)





"WE GONNA PARTY LIKE ITS YO BIRTHDAY WE GONNA SIP BACARDI LIKE IT'S YO BIRTHDAY."(Considering that Deoxys was Double Teaming, I'm amazed Ravager hit three of these sings)


And that's my last ball.

AND THEN GRINDS


God damn it. *bleep*ing Poison Point.


GOD DAMN IT!(I'm aware it's the same screen, however it did happen twice)

AND THEN TRICK HOUSE


GOD *bleep*ING DAMN IT.


*bleep* YA'LL.


Damn it Soda you *bleep*ing furry.


>Realisation moment
"ALTARIA HAS *bleep*ING NATURAL CURE"


Fortunately I found someone to take out my frustrations on.

---

Well first we got to fix this.


That'll do for now


WAILORD WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN A CAVE HOW DO YOU EVEN FIT.


Oh that's much better.


Also apparantly this asshole was hanging around Celebi.


Lol.


GRINDS ARE COMPLETE, ONTO MT. CHIMNEY.





And when this came up, this decided to shuffle in, made for some neeto BGM for the Magma fights.


Courtney is better *bleep* you Tabitha why isn't she in Emerald?


Have you SEEN what I'm packing?


WANNA KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW, WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(What? Just because she's black doesn't mean she has to stick to rap you racist)


*Sssssssssss*


You got QUAGSIRED, BITCH.


Oh right this place exists.


Ehhhh......


Long story, do you really need to know?


OH RIGHT I TOTALLY FORGOT TO DO THE CYCLING ROAD.


New bro time.


MAN *bleep* YOU DAD.




To sum up the battle?:

(Kanon that doesn't make sense :3 is a girl.)


I never fished for anything down below, so I get to catch something new in the desert~


Arn't you supposed to be a fossil here?


Actually putting up a fight. Time for the magic music that prevents even Latias and Celebi's from escaping.


"COME ON AND SLAM, AND WELCOME TO THE JAM"


After proving itself to be to powerful for even the power of Rap, it eveeeentually went down.


*shrug*


*bleep*ING.


Oh right might as well look in there.


Oh boy.


"GET ME MOVE BABY THIS IS MY WORLD CAUSE IS ANOTHER FUNKY SISTER GIRL"


It's adorable. But oh so terrible.


*bleep*.


While I think 120 is too good for Thrash clone moves, I think the old 90 is too weak. 110 is about the best I can think of for them really.


Bah, I needed to get Rock Smash back out to get back to Mauville anyway.


So question.


How many of you know this trainer existed?


What? We actually have evolution in this run?


Looking hot, Soda.


Oh right you exist.


*bleep*ING *bleep*!


Really needs more moves, no idea what type it is, could take a while to-


Well that sorted that.


So what's the verdict on this anyway, I'd count it as Rustburo but if enough people complain I'll release it.


Missed the nickname screen, but it's called that because it was from the Claw Fossil.


NEXT TIME, we fight a terrifying foe from my past.....

---

So apparently you can wilds here.


Here I guess.


Eww.
I kind of derped and killed it, but I really doubt I was going to use it anyway because I hate Magmar so whatever.


'LilRavage is truely Ravagers successor.


And apparantly there is two routes between Petalberg and Dewford so +1 Pokémon for me.


No thank moo.


"DIS OUR *bleep*IN' HOOD BITCH, RUN YO ASS RIGHT OUT O' IT"


Because Miltank will never be remembered for anything else but Whitney.


TRUELY.


Oh THAT'S where I put it.


AAAAAAAWWWWWWWW SNAP HERE WE GO.



More like Big Ravage amirite?


TOOK LONG ENOUGH FOR A GOOD MOVE.





GRIND DONE, TOO ROUTE 119!


YOU!


BUUUUUURN.


Aww yeeeeah.


Everyone learning good moves this chapter.


Then Team Aqua attacked.


It didn't last long.


Well thanks I-


THAT, SIR, IS NOT A CASTFORM.


I SHALL HOWEVER, BE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR EYESIGHT PROBLEMS AND WILL TAKE THIS.


grindgrindgrind


Hold on, I'll go get a picture of Ocelot.

---

It's kind of weak, but rather it than Blizzard.


oh no team magma your so strong whatever will i do


SCIZOR GET OUT OF HERE YOU'LL MELT.


7 to go.


I think I found that Castform the guy was going to give me.


*bleep* *bleep* *bleep*.


Rap saves the day.


Actually it's just taking a nap, I saw him over at Route 123 not too long ago.

*lolmaxie*


I remembered this was a thing when I went to watch Aqua steal sub.


As we can see, I wasn't missing much.


Time to wipe out another squad of Poochyena and Zubat.


Ment to cap it, but here's one of the 'Electrodes' protecting Masterball.


Umu.


Here's the other one, I made the right choice.


And so after steamrolling Aqua, THIS mess opens up.


And to start with....


No one is getting that joke, Kanon.


A quick stop at Mossdeep for....


Because it will give best levels.


...I forgot how unreasonable the Super Rod is in RSE....


EVENTUALLY.


Yeah I'd rather the Venusaur I have.


OVER HERE.


Meh.


HERE?


No thanks.


YOU SHITHEAD BIRD I'M GOING TO *bleep*ING STRANGLE YOU.


The Swellow used Endevour and then the Manetric cleaned up ;-;


If it wasn't apparent, I'm doing every route now.


GET IT HAHAHAHA.


Next?


Damn it again? Well I got like 10 Ultras and a Timer, might as well.


*I was going to put a Snoop Dogg song here, but I literally cannot understand what he is saying*





Fortuna's Greek counterpart.



Aww damn it.



Short for '*bleep*ing Super' /It'sSarcasm

*Route 130*


It's a joke about Tops.




God damn it I was going to use that.

*Palicifidoglog*

HAHA. MGS3 JOKES.



Hey look I'm sorry it's not the most interesting chapter I know.

*Route 133(The fact I keep missing these is proof how how DRAINING ALL THIS *bleep*ING WATER IS *bleep* HOENN)


Or is it Jaun?

---

All ready.


Let’s go.


Quite *bleep*ing serious, sir?


I’m sure it will be


This whole place is such a confusing mess, not just the pictured rapids.


Courtney is better than you. Seriously Gamefreak why you remove best Admin?


Hey that’s a different set up than what Soda had when he did this puzzle.


Rapequake*


Naturally.


Try Granite Cave.


‘a’?


Better question, how did you Fly to Route 128 and why can I do that?


There is like a million things here that tip this battle in Kyorge’s favour, which would mean more water, so good lord I better do something about this.


So what do we have in here


Oh, you again. It’s going to blow up right?


Right.


YES, IT’S DEFINITELY IN THE CAVE OF ORIGIN.

*scene missing*


So here we are at the Sky Pillar, using these because like hell I’m passing up on a level 70.


Well that’s weird, it’s Groudon’s symbols, you’d think they’d just program the right symbol into each encounter but it looks like they default to Groudon and check what it is THEN change to the right symbol or something, how excessively overly complicated.


And this is my prize


"Power to you peeps, power for the dreams, though missing pieces scattering so incomplete"


Was quite troublesome actually, say what you will about Flareon, but double my level makes Flamethrower sting.


Now I gave it a fitting godly sounding name to go with it’s status since it was perched atop the Sky Pillar and had the music and everything.


So this guy.


You know his Kingdra?


*bleep* his Kingdra, I’m spamming X-specials while that laughable excuse for a Pokémon seen here tries to scratch me.


Really, if I hadn’t done this I’d have lost half my team most certainly.


Last capture until post game, and it iiiiiis


Hahahahaha


Ok I might have to Masterball, this thing is just too dangerous, specially with two Bulk Ups, I guess I can afford to throw a second Ultra before I-


Yahaha.


Hahahahaha.


GOD *bleep*ING DAMN COUNTER *bleep*ING *bleep* *bleep*ING *bleep* *bleep*.

---

I believe in them, they believe in me. Lets do this.



Final Movesets here.


Get on with it.


Time to brake out the rain and the game with it. Sid here likes his Pokémon made of paper, so this is a solid idea.


YO. YOOOOOOOOOO.


Noriko was able to come in and save the day though. One down.


Phoebe is going to be a bit trickier. Confirmer has Shadow Ball but...


Either way, knowing she ALWAYS starts with Protect I take the opportunity to troll her shit with Perish Song. Match went reletively smooth, most of the party got in on the action...then I forgot her main Dusclops has Ice Beam.


LIL'RAVAGE STOP DOING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK. Two down.


As for Glacia, well.....

*four Brick Breaks later*


*WHEEEEEEZE*


*EXHALE* Three Down.


As for Drake, well~~~


Again, like that weird girl who doesn't wear anything, Drake always starts off with Protect. 'Castform' has Ice Beam. Feel free to speculate the battle.


Kum gets a call out for being the one who manhandled Kingdra.


Now trust me on this one.


Sup.


You. You've got Rain Dance and Dragon Dance. I've only got Rain Dance.


Are you ready?


I've played Emerald alot. This thing has Blizzard, Tentacruel and Milotic have Ice Beam, Confirmer can't just sweep this.....right?



Tell me, what does 'Baiting Blizzards and Pressure' mean to you?


Answer.


Hahahahahahahaha.


Not a single one could even get an attack off.


Champioooooons!

---

The Champions



Kum the Muk.

You ever hear the term 'Unexpected Bro', can't say I've ever really thought much of the term since I mostly plan my teams, but Kum was something I'd absolutely give that title, being my very first capture Kum was here for basically the entire Nuzlocke, when I saw him I expected average, what I got was a reliable as all hell answer to just about everything. He could ALWAYS take a hit, and would ALWAYS hit back hard. Maybe he never quite hit OHKO's often, but very rarely did he need to flee from anything.



Confirmer the Celebi.

Unlike Kum, I knew I was in for a good time when I saw the ball click on this one, although perhaps not the strongest thing due to a terrible movepool until fairly late, Confirmer was another reliable hit taker with fantastic 100/100/100 defences. Confirmer always delivered me good news fast and reliably. Not to mention demolishing Wallace.



Fortuna the Latias.

Truely a Goddess of Luck shined down on me when I was gifted Fortuna, superb in just about every aspect, offensively and defensively. I really can't say any more about her, Fortuna was simply an absolutely beast.



Lil'Ravage the Altaria.

My face when I saw you kid. Right after the slaughter in Norman's Gym did you appear to me, and you carried on Ravager's rap career fantasticly, make no mistake, you were not just a replacement to Ravager to me, you were your own partner all the same, perhaps some later bros would not even have been caught without your sweet rhymes.



'Castform' the Suicune, seen here in an artists interpretation of what he looked like to my foes.

I'm quite thankful to that guy over at the Weather Institute, his blindness gifted me with this brutal truck of a Pokémon, yet another Pokémon that would soak up hits all day every day, and when I needed it, invoke the absolutely savage power of Rain for truly gigantic hits. You were also a vital part of 'Operation *bleep* Wallace in the butt'.



Noriko the Hitmontop

You certainly didn't get your praises sung too loudly, perhaps it's because you came so late, but you were definitely no pushover and I don't regret using you one bit. I'd say you would have been quite vital thanks to your utterly destroying Glacia that let me Aim for the Top as most of the other guys were quite Ice weak.

The Fallen Heroes



Psyduck the Golduck.

Uh....Sorry about that one, I think I had an Antidote, you would have just gone in the box though because I already had Water.....



:3 the Quagsire.

*bleep* ;-;
You were the best of the best, absolutely no situation seemed even close to a problem, you effortlessly tanked even Grass moves when I *bleep*ed up. And then in my most dangerous moment I relied on you as always and you were taken from me so quickly. I'll never forget ya you Sassy bitch.



Ravager the Altaria.

Did your Sing even miss? Even more than Lil' you assisted in so many captures, without your tunes vital members like Confirmer or Fortuna might not have been there, you always had a bit of damage problems due to bad moves, but had you lasted just a bit longer your single flaw would be gone with Dragonbreath.



Soda the Pupitar.

Look I know you mad at me for your death but your the one who's Rock Slide just barely failed to kill that Lionone, it's a bad damage rolls fault. Not yours or mine, Luck just didn't shine upon you.



Shoe...

Hey sorry about that one little guy, I was emulating a strategy that had worked for me in the past, looks like the old man learned from that. You wern't meant to be sacrificed like this.



Adorrible

I knew you were going to die when I picked you up, there is simply too much Water in Hoenn and your typing is kind of awful, but I needed you, you were my best answer to Norman. So imagine my surprise when you not only lasted so long, but what finally did you in would have done ANYONE in. Great job.



UmadMaxie? the Groudon.

I didn't know you for long buddy, but I would have loved to keep you around.

Special Thanks



Juan the Lombre.

Always had the HM compatibility I needed, thanks bro.