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| GuitarMan91 |
Aug 13, 10 at 5:58pm ^
Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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Log in to remove this advertisement Notes- Just saying a few things now about my writing before someone comments about it - My grammar is sub-par to par, I'm not perfect but I try, so the less grammar Nazis the better - I love talking to the audience in my writing, I don't care how many English teacher's say I shouldn't. Even if it's not 'correct' I'm still going to do it, its my style. If you don't quite understand what I mean you will once you read - I have a tendency to switch from present to past tense. I do not do this on purpose. I'm trying to improve but I'm sure I'll still make those mistakes - I find extreme detail quite boring thus I don't write in elaborate detail like many other writers. It's just my style, deal with it. Though I do think my details on battles are quite good. About the Title- Read it out loud, it rhymes. That's why I picked it, everybody loves a good rhyme. Also Glion is the Japanese name for Gliscor, I won't use the name Glion in the story. Chapter 1 I trudged along the dusty, dirt road leading away from the stadium. Round one of the Sinnoh League and I just got totally demolished by a kid named Shinji and his Gastrodon. Wasn't even able to take down one of his pokemon. It's a major shot to one's self confidence. I know what you're thinking. To make it to the Sinnoh League you had to get all 8 Sinnoh badges and if you did that then you can't be a weak trainer. Yes I did get all 8 badges. But now I only have three pokemon, compared to my usual four. That one pokemon I'm short is my mvp. He got me almost all the badges single-handedly. Now I love my other pokemon, they are great buddies. They just aren't all battling aces. As I'm thinking all these thoughts in my head my Aipom came out of its pokeball. The adorable little purple monkey attached itself to my arm and then proceeded to climb up to his post on my shoulder. 'Pom Pom' it chanted which forced a small smile out of me. He could tell I was depressed so he came to cheer me up. With a pokemon that cute its hard not to smile. I decided there was no reason to be alone here in my thoughts. With a swipe of my hands I released my other pokemon from their ball cages. I bent down to pick them up and help them to their usual posts on my body. I placed my little Swinub on my head. She made a good pokemon and a good hat. Then I lifted up my starter, Cyndaquil, I held him in my arms. My pokemon were apart of my appearance. If I had friends they would say they wouldn't recognize me without my pokemon on their posts. You probably figured since I said I was just in the Sinnoh League that I was from Sinnoh. But now you know I have a Johto starter. I'll clear that up then. Born and raised in Mahogony town, Johto. Cyndaquil was the family pet but I always considered that he was mine. Little me and him went everywhere together. At age ten my parents gave my some pokeballs and gave me permission to catch pokemon. I didn't want to start a journey like other ten year olds so my parents didn't have to worry about that. By age 13 I had caught all the pokemon I have with me now. In Mahogony I had a friend named Shiki. He was 15 at the time and had just finished getting all his Johto badges. He came to me with a proposal one day. He said 'So Dyon, you haven't started a journey yet, Well instead of going to Kanto like most trainers do after they travel Johto. I want to do something different. I want to go to Sinnoh. And I want you to come with me.' I didn't want to at first but after some coaxing he eventually got me to go. Worst decision I ever made. So anyway I must change my thought topics. I need to get my mind off of Shiki before I go into a blinding angry rage. I continued down the dirt road, no destination in sight. I had no where to go. No friends, not much money, no home and no motivation left. I miss my home. A single tear dripped from my right eye down my cheek. Aipom wiped it off for me. I tried to force a smile and scratched his head. And then my Poke'etch went off. I jumped in surprise. Who would be calling me? I dug into my pocket and pullled out the device. And I thought things couldn't get any worse, guess I was wrong. I let out a loud, frustrating scream and threw the device as hard as I could. I couldn't fend off the mental pain anymore. I broke down, knees fell to the ground. My torso followed the same motions as my knees, it too fell to the ground. Luckily my pokemon jumped off and away from me before getting hurt. Tears rolled down my face. My mental exhaustion took over and I passed out. But not before getting one last thought in. Dam you Golden Lion! Writer's Note- I like the Japanese names better so I used Shinji, instead of Paul. And yes he has a Gastrodon, if you didn't know that you haven't been following the anime closely enough. Yes you read that chapter right, I used the word I, a lot. One last thing, I tried to space it out a little bit since there was no real dialogue in the chapter it originally looked like one giant block of text Comments? (Kind) criticisms? Edit: Aug 24, 10 ------------------- ![]() | |
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| Zuidy |
Aug 13, 10 at 6:08pm ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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quote GuitarMan91Pretty nice! Could use some more space between where you write and stuff. ------------------- ![]() | |
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Morrigan
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Aug 13, 10 at 7:15pm ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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Zuidy, don't quote full chapters, it takes up a load of space.
It was really good, nice to see you back. And I fully understand using the Japanese names. I prefer Kenta over Jimmy anyday. ^^ ![]() ------------------- ![]() ThreeGingersPlay / My Youtube | |
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| GuitarMan91 |
Aug 13, 10 at 7:38pm ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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Thanks for that. Hopefully after a few chapters I will improve because then I will really be 'back into writing'. I have a new chapter ready, since whenever I get really excited about something I am obssessed with it constantly. So with writing a new story I get really excited and write a bunch of chapters in the first few days. Not sure how long I'll wait before putting up the next chapter
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| GuitarMan91 |
Aug 14, 10 at 6:52pm ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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Writer's Note- Yes I'm double posting, oh noez. But another chapter. I decided to post it now and not wait longer since I'm going to be gone most of today I'd love to come home after a long day to some nice COMMENTS, hint hint
Chapter 2 I couldn't stay in my state of unconsciousness for very long because of this pecking at my arm. I wasn't sure what it was, I didn't have any pokemon with beaks. Whatever it was it was very annoying. It took alot of energy but I was able to open one eye to see the cause of my annoyance was a Piplup. With further examination I saw behind the pokemon was a girl with an odd hair color. Blue? No black. No blue-ish black? I couldn't quite make out the color at the state I was in. She had on a brown blouse I believe and was wearing this white cap. That's about all I could make out before I was out like a light again. Not sure how long it was before I came to again, this time for good. I was no longer on that old dirt road. But now on a bed with blankets over my body. That girl must've took me to a Pokemon Center, which also functions as a hospital for humans as well as an inn. Foolish girl, wasting her time on me. I turned my focus to the room, boring white walls, Nurse Joy standing over me with her ridiculous pink hair. Yes this was the PokeCenter. What was new though, but not surprising was this girl sitting in the seats in the back of the room. Blueish hair, Piplup in arms. Once she saw my eyes were open she jumped up in joy and even shouted in joy. But then quickly threw her hand over her mouth to trap in the noise, realizing she was in a hospital. That made me laugh. I may be depressed, angry and lonely but I've always been easy to make laugh. Nurse Joy then spoke in her soft kind voice that all Nurse Joys share. "It appears you had just collapsed from exhaustion. There is nothing wrong with you. Once I feel you have your energy back feel free you check out and leave. But I suggest you get rests more often so this doesn't happen again." We then both exchanged nods as she turned and left. Now that I think about it I am really tired. I rolled over to get some more sleep but the extra presence in the room was disturbing my ability to sleep. "The nurse said I'm fine, no reason for you to stay kiddo" I gently said, aiming those words her way. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her biting her lip in anger. Guess she didn't like being called kiddo. She couldn't hold in her anger for long. "MAN! You are so ungrateful. I thought you were dead when I first found you, I was so scared, you could've died. Where is my thank you, huh huh? Where is it? I don't hear it. And who are YOU calling kiddo. You can't be much older than I. I have a name you know. It wouldn't hurt to ask the name of your rescuer!" the girl ranted. I let out my signature chuckle. She had a cute attitude. "What is your name oh heroic savior of mine?" I asked with a hint of sarcasm. "Now that's better." Her attitude quickly changed from anger to kidding around. "You can call me Hikari, Hikari the White Knight.” We both exchanged laughs this time. It’s been a while since I have had a friendly conversation like this before. It’s quite refreshing. “Well then Hikari the White Knight, it’s nice to meet you. You can call me Dyon, Dyon the Damsel in Distress.” “Nice to meet you too. But I think I’ll just call you Dyon for short.” “Suit yourself, I’m still gonna call you White Knight. So if you were the one to save me then you must have been close to the stadium. So that leads me to ask are you a participant in the league tournament?” “Haha, no not me. I’m a contest kind of trainer. One of the people I’m traveling with is in the tournament. He is going to win it for sure.” By this time she was sitting on the side of the bed, legs crossed, left over right. Not too important of a detail but it’s something I noticed. She moved her hair out of her eyes as she patiently waited for me to respond. “Sure are confident about your friends skill. Well I hope he does better than I did.” I tried to hide my disapointment. “Knocked out first round?” “Si seniorita.” “By?” “A kid named Shinji.” “Oh him, great battler, total prick face though. But hey, you got 8 badges, that’s no small achievement.” I nodded in agreement. An expression came over her face like she had just now remembered something. She reached into her bag she had all along and pulled out three pokeballs. “You might want these back.” Again I nodded and released my three pals so they could see that I was doing just fine. They all laid on my stomach, overjoyed to see me alive as the conversation continued. After seeing my pokemon another expression came over her face like she had just remembered something. She pulled out another pokeball, had to hers since I had all my pokemon. She released the pokemon and it was another Cyndaquil. “This one is mine, seeing that you had one made me want to show you mine.” The two Cyndaquil got close to each other and sniffed out each other. They then started to play with each other. Hikari freaked out and picked up her Cyndaquil. “Whoops I didn’t think that would happen, two pokemon playing on top of an man laying on a hospital bed, probably not the best idea.” Once again we exchanged laughs, she was fun to talk to. The two Cyndaquils whimpered, they wanted to play. I lifted my hand for the first time since being awake and patted my Cyndaquil on the head. “There, there, buddy I’ll give you two a chance to play later today, if that’s alright with Hikari.” “Of course it is, once you get your energy back, but don’t be in a rush. Don’t want to come back here soon.” Noticing that topic was dead she wasted no time moving on to something new. “So now that you’re out of the Sinnoh League where do you plan on going to next? Just curious.” “That answer, I’m not quite sure of yet.” But that was a lie. I knew exactly where I am going to go next. I am going to wherever the Golden Lion is, so I can kill him. Writer’s Note- I’m not very good at dialogue but it’s crucial for good stories really. So I threw a big chunk of it at you guys. Hopefully I was good enough. ------------------- ![]() | |
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| SleepingNinetails |
Aug 25, 10 at 5:43am ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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Very nice reading, my friend. The dialogue was fun to read and you're doing a great job developing your characters. Keep up the great work, I expect more in oh... 5 minutes :3
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| GuitarMan91 |
Aug 25, 10 at 5:51am ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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Chapter 3
A few hours had passed, we just continued a normal conversation. I then stretched my body and let out a yawn. I was ready to leave. I tossed the blankets off my, and placed my feet on the ground. “Well Hikari it was nice talking to you but I think it’s time that we part ways. Though not to be a bother but is there any chance you have a flying pokemon I could borrow. I want to visit Hearthome again and quick transportation would be nice. My flying pokemon is currently with someone else being trained.” I slipped out a lie there, hope she didn’t notice. “Going so soon? Well I don’t have a flying pokemon that could carry a person. But my friend Satoshi has a bunch of flying pokemon I’m sure I could get one for you to borrow. But that means we will have to exchange Poke’etch numbers so I can get that pokemon back from you. Let me go talk to him, I’ll meet you in the lobby of this center” she rambled all at once. And then before I could say anything she hurried out of the room. Man that girl was energetic. I just shrug my shoulders and recall my pokemon back to their poke balls. I still don’t feel 100 percent yet so having pokemon on my body weighing my down isn’t the best idea. I take my time leaving the room and navigate my way to the lobby. Looking around for a seat I notice a trainer with an Electivire outside its pokeball. Seeing that pokemon brings a quick flash of a memory. I try to block the memory out best I can but I still get bits and pieces. “So you real….. want to ….. through with this? You want to ………… it all. Well then let’s go pokemon …………” a very familiar trainer spoke to me with ……… in his voice. “Don’t talk. You lost all …… to talk. Just …… up and ……. This is for everything I once had, …………… and will have” yelled Dyon, with much more ……… in his voice. “My ……… against your Electivire!” The two trainers were shouting out commands at almost the exact same time with so much volume it was hard to make out what they were saying. But their pokemon heard just fine. Electvire jumped as …… let out a devasting ……… attack. Elective then charged at full speed with it’s hey there. ….. quickly got up from the blow just to avoid another I said hey there! Then both pokemon meet at the middle with mighty earth to and a strong explosion ensued. Dyon ……. Dyon ….. Dyon! I came to, to notice Hikari in front of him shouting his name and waving her hands frantically in my face. I must have lost myself in my memory. Hikari put her hands on her hips and frowned. “Man you sure love to scare me. I’m not sure if it’s safe to let you out of here” she half-joked. I was still coming to. “Well anyway, I got a Swellow for you to borrow. Treat it kindly and don’t take advantage of the quick trust I have for you.” She held out a pokeball in front of me. I eagerly took it from her hands. “Thanks, really, you have done quite a lot for me my White Knight. There will always be a place for you in my heart, just a very small place.” With that line I let out a cheesy smile and headed for the exit but I was stopped. “I don’t want to hold you back for long or be a bother. But when we were talking you said you didn’t have a destination. So why are you going to Hearthome” she curiously poked. “I’m going to visit an old friend, the Golden Lion” I responded, being honest this time. “WHAT?” she jumped back in surprise. “You know the Golden Lion? The man who’s name a few weeks ago wasn’t really known but know expert trainers and professors from around the regions are calling him a legend. That Golden Lion?” She talked about him so greatly. I tried to hide my disgust but it was hard. “Yes, that Golden Lion. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go now. I’m sure this isn’t the last time we will see each other.” With that I again headed to the exit. I heard her say something but I couldn’t make it out and figured it couldn’t be too important, just a soppy goodbye of some sort. Once out of the Pokecenter I released the borrowed Swellow. It was of good size, quite a cool looking pokemon. “Hello Swellow, I’m Dyon, I will be using your flying services for a short while. I’m very glad your helping me out. It replied with a its happy pokemon sound ‘Swellow, Swe’. With that I hopped on the creatures back and it took off to the skies. Writer‘s Note: To explain a little bit, the italics were a memory Dyon was remembering. But he was trying not to remember it, so the ….. were parts of the memory he wasn’t remembering. And then the no italics part was Hikari talking to him in current time, since he was zoning out. Also Hikari= Japanese name for Dawn, I forgot to mention. Not the longest chapter, I was originally going to put up 3 and 4 together but since it’s been over a week since I’ve updated and 4 isn’t quite done yet. I figured I’d feed your mouths with a short chapter for now. ------------------- ![]() | |
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| GuitarMan91 |
Aug 28, 10 at 5:37am ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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Chapter 4
The ride was very smooth and pretty short. Hearthome was a nice city, very big. I stopped in about the middle of the city, where I found an open place to land. I then recalled my ride into it’s poke ball. I put the ball in a safe place so I didn’t loose it. Much like Goldenrod, it had a great feel to it. I had been here before my by Gym Battle against Fantina, great fight. Because this wasn’t my first time here I didn’t spend time site seeing. I knew my destination, The Golden Lion’s Mansion. I could go right through the front but that wouldn’t be easy. I’d travel around back, he’d be there, in his favorite smoking spot. It would also be away from anyone’s eyes, so nobody would see me kill him. The mansion was at the North of town, close to the Contest Hall. He had a house in that spot for a while but upgraded to a mansion when he became famous. Being a Mansion there was a fence but fences are practically useless. I walked around to the back of the place around the fence, all casual like. From there I was thinking about blowing a whole in the fence with Cyndaquil but my good civilian sense kicked in and I just climbed it and hoped over. I was being watched, but it was pretty obvious by who. There on the deck stood a very familiar face, smoking a cigarette. When our eyes came into contact a smug smile fell over his face. It threw me into disgust. “So so, you actually grew the balls to come to see me. I’m impressed” he said to me while cackling. This was Golden Lion Shiki, if you hadn’t figured it out he was a person not a lion. Golden Lion is just a nickname. “Shut up!” I shouted just trying to contain my composure. “You know why I’m here.” I quickly reached for the small knife in my pocket. “Ah yes, that’s right, last time we met you swore you’d kill me. But I know you well, you like to feel like you’ve earned things. So I have a wager, one on one pokemon battle, if you win I’ll let you kill me.” The man was cunning, he knew me too well. I did have to feel like I earned something. If I beat him in a battle I’d feel like I’d earn killing him, which would satisfy me. But I wasn’t stupid to rush into this deal so fast. “What if I loose?” I asked, figuring he had a catch. “When you loose,” emphasis on the when, “nothing, I know you though, you’ll leave and comeback and try again. Fine by me, it’s nice little entertainment, to see you struggle.” Another cackle was shot from his disgusting mouth. We stopped exchanging words, it was battle time. Pokeballs were tossed in the air and pokemon rushed out. Aipom on my side, Suicine on his side. Suicine may be a surprise for you but not for me. It was the reason he had gotten so famous, he had tamed the three legendary dogs. The battle would be hard, very hard, but I had to win. My pokemon knew well who the Golden Lion was an all he had done so Aipom was feeling the same emotions as I. “Start things off with a Hydro Pump!” The legendary beast complied to the order very obediently. It shot a strong blast of water at the small monkey. “Aipom Double Team!” The pokemon nodded and a line of Aipom copies appeared. The opponent’s water attack hit a fake copy and it disappeared. This tactic was nothing new and the Golden Lion’s skill level was far to high to be tricked by it. “Water Pulse!” He took a drag of his cigarette as his other hand sat in his pocket. He wasn’t putting any effort into this battle at all. Typical behavior of him. Back to the water, the water dog had released the pulse which had a wide area of attack, taking out all the Aipom copies and damaging Aipom. My pokemon was tossed back and off balance by the attack. Taking advantage of this the Golden Lion called for an Ice Fang attack. Suicine moved forward to Aipom, it’s fangs now ice blue. “Aipom get him back with a Double Hit!” Aipom regained it’s balance and struck Suicine with it’s tail. Would’ve been an effective attack but Suicine was way to great of a pokemon. It released it’s Ice Fang attack on Aipom’s tail. Suicine kept the attack going as Aipom shrieked in pain. Ice began forming on the pokemon’s tail. I cringed hearing the screams of my pokemon. So much pain was flowing through Aipom’s body and nothing I could do about it. “Break free Aipom!” I screamed and shouted, it was all I could do. But it was useless, ice had grown on a good half of Aipom’s body now. Suicine finally stopped it’s attack and jumped back. I ran towards my pokemon, slid and wrapped my arms around him. I muttered cries of comfort to try to ease his pain. The Golden Lion laughed at me. “Do you know how pitiful you look right now? If only I could freeze you in this pitiful state forever. That would be a great ending for your pitiful life. Oh wait, I can freeze this moment. Suicine, Ice Beam!” I had not seen this coming but I wasn’t surprised. As I held my pokemon we both become engulfed in ice. My arms and belt got frozen first so I couldn’t get my fire type out. Moments passed by and I had been fully trapped in ice, everything but my head. The pain was immense. He kept my head out of the ice so I would die slower. If I wasn’t unfrozen very soon my flesh would start rotting and death would follow. But out behind this mansion, there was no one to see me. The Shiki didn’t say anything, he just shook his head and went inside. Writer‘s Note: Short Chapter, you can probably see now why I wanted to pair chapters 3 and 4 since they are both short. 5 is a long one so don't worry. Yes I revealed that the Golden Lion and Shiki are the same person. I figured most of you guessed that already. If any of you are One Piece fans then you should probably know the name Golden Lion Shiki, since I ‘borrowed’ it from One Piece. Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter, though I won’t really know if you enjoyed it if you don’t comment, hint hint. Also I just noticed that the Tab Button hasn't been working when I post it on neo, all my years in neo I never noticed that. ------------------- ![]() | |
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| GuitarMan91 |
Sep 22, 10 at 1:40am ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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Writer's Note- I didn't forget about this. I just didn't have the time to update. But here is another chapter. I love this story too much to stop now. Expect this story to keep going. Even if it takes me 3 weeks to update.
Chapter 5 My eyes opened to see myself very wet. There was water all around me. I had tried struggling to break free but just gave up and let my head sink, waiting death. But it seems I have yet again avoided death. I looked up to see who had melted me free and standing there was Hikari with her Cyndaquil. She had followed me, didn’t expect that. I would take to her later, Aipom needed me first. He was really hurt from the freezing, I began tending to his wounds best I could. “If you won’t start the conversation I will” Hikari prodded. “First off you’re welcome. Second I followed you because I was curious and I didn’t completely trust you. No hard feelings. But I needed to know what you were up to.” I ignored her and kept trying to tend to Aipom. “You’re dazed, you almost died by freezing. Your head isn’t working right. Aipom needs a Pokecenter silly.” She was right, my mind was very mixed. I took out my pokeball and recalled Aipom to it’s shell. “Can you take him please?” I requested. “I need time alone right now, to gather myself together.” She took the ball from me and nodded. But waggled her finger in ‘don’t go too far’ kind of fashion. I did need to get away, couldn’t have Shiki see me broken free. I jogged back to the fence and climbed over. Then I went stumbling for a place to lay down and gather myself. What just happened was really big. Here I sit, alone in my loneliness. You know when you have a lot of things on your mind that you know you shouldn’t be thinking about but you go and make thinking time for it anyway. And then in thinking time, you only get more miserable. You hope and you wish for something good to come, you believe in a higher power. You know something good is coming your way, but you’re impatience. Right now you can only think about all the bad. Even when something good happens something bad soon happens to overpower the joy you got from that good thing. Well that’s where I am. I can’t move forward because as much as I try my mind is still stuck in the past. Mainly because she was in my past. It was two years since moving to Sinnoh. Shiki and I started having some issues so I decided to take a break from him. I borrowed his Staraptor and went back to good ol Johto. I couldn’t face my parents since I didn’t want to tell them that things weren’t going well. Instead I went to a town I hadn’t been to often, Goldenrod. I visited everything there, Bill’s house, the Casino, the Radio Tower, the Bike Shop, the big Market, the Gym and lastly the Day Care. Instead of the old couple I remember running the place it was this beautiful young girl. You know how when you’re young and you fall in ‘love’ for the first time. And you go bat-shit crazy for the person. Well that’s how I was. We hit it off instantly and every day during my stay I’d visit her. We hit it off well, eventually it turned into evening dates. And in the week and a half I stayed in Goldenrod I had fallen in love. I didn’t want to leave her ever but I was becoming a big distraction for her work. It wasn’t an easy decision but I decided to go back to Shiki and Sinnoh. We promised to keep in contact and she would try to find someone to replace her. The daycare was important she couldn’t just leave, she was too good of a person. I really liked that in her. Young and in love, I returned to my unhappy place yet I was happy. Foolishy I shared why I was so happy with Shiki. He was interested, too interested. Trying to be a bro he of course asked what she looked like and her name. So I told him. She stood at a good 5’8, shoulder length brown hair back in pigtails, ice blue eyes, white complexion, soft lips, well really just perfect ideal facial features. She always wore long black gloves, long as in they went back to her elbows. And Knee length black boots, very stylish. It was her signature. This of course was a few years back, I’m sure she is 6 feet tall by now and even more lovely. I was just a young boy back then but I wasn’t stupid enough to fall in love with just looks. Her personality hooked me. But those details are too painful to recover. And this is where I am. I can’t get over her but it’s too painful to remember her. I’ve said this before, I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t think I can continue my life happily, but there is something I have to do. I have to defeat the Golden Lion. That is set in stone. But he is so much stronger than me. I’m in quite a situation aren’t I? “Dyon!” I hear in Hikari’s voice. I snap back into the real world. “I just checked the newspaper for today. The Golden Lion is having a huge party tonight at his mansion. You know what that means?” I heard that and was filled with joy. But not sure why she brought that up, she didn’t know that Shiki was the reason I was frozen. Unless she put two and two together, she is smarter than I think. Back to her announcement ords filled my mouth without me even thinking about them “We are going off tonight, to kick out every light. Take anything we want, take anything in sight, while we burn it to ground tonight!” quite an evil grin came over my face. Hikari looked at me and sighed, she knew she’d be going along with me. “You do realize when the antagonist thinks the protagonist in a story is dead the hero usually waits a few days and then uses the element of surprise. But you’re going to wreck his mansion tonight, letting him know you are very much so alive. You aren’t very good at following the hero standard” the young girl lectured to me. She was shaking her head. “We best start preparing then.” OOC: Yes I did steal and modify a chorus from a Nickleback song in that chapter. I listen to music while I write and it often influences my stories. ------------------- ![]() | |
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| Dreshill |
Sep 22, 10 at 2:17pm ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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You're a really good writer. But I suggest using some spell checker. Like try Microsoft word..
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| GuitarMan91 |
Oct 06, 10 at 10:55pm ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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Chapter 6
I opened my eyes, very shocked and confused. I had absolutely no idea what happened. I was in the middle of what seemed to be a forest. I saw Caterpie and Oddish around, an occasional Stantler. Absolutely no civilization, absolutely no idea how I got here. I now have a massive headache that’s for sure. I try to remember the moments leading up to being moved here, but my memories are fuzzy, this headache isn’t helping. I am sure I will be able to recall these memories in a few hours. My wardrobe was not my usual clothes, it was instead a spiffy tuxedo. White undershirt, black overcoat, black slacks and of couse, a nice little black bowtie tied around my neck. Why was I dressed up so fancy. Since I am not in my normal clothing, my pack was not with me either. Noticing this, I frantically checked my pockets, nothing, that means no Poke’etch. I was starting to come to, which led me to noticing I was holding a poke ball in my hand. With a flick of my wrist, I released Cynadaquil. The little rodent leaped into my arms, it was also quite surprised I our new location. I shrunk the ball down to pocket size and slipped it into the pocket on my jacket. Besides the ball and my clothes, I had nothing on me. I tried to comfort Cyndaquil by stroking it’s back. Feeling I had pulled myself together, I tried to take a step. But wait, my stomach feels like it’s going to blow, an extremely sick feeling. This was pretty weird. I slapped myself a few times, even threw in a pinch. This wasn’t a dream, maybe it was a hallucination, maybe I took some acid. Whatever went down, I won’t benefit in staying still. It’s time to explore. I spun around, slowly of course, stomach still not doing to good. This was to get a feel for my surroundings. North, East, South, West, it all looked the same. When in doubt, head straight. Luckily none of the wild pokemon were hostile, I wasn’t up for a fight, neither was Cyndaquil. I moved slowly, for my stomach and for Cyndaquil. The poor guy was scared out of it’s mind, I wanted to give him a smooth transportation. Cyndaquil’s head suddenly popped up, it heard something. I stopped dead in my tracks, looking around for what caught Cyndaquil’s attention. And then a stream of green flew right by me, causing me to jump back. It then proceeded to do a few laps around my body. It flew up to my eye level and flew off, though not very fast this time. I felt like I should follow it, it was better than randomly exploring this forest. I could keep up with a light jog, though Cyndaquil wouldn’t like it. He knew what was about to happen so willingly jumped to the ground to run beside me. After this thing we moved! I was pretty sure it was a pokemon, just no idea what species, I didn’t get a good look at it. This forest was really dense, absolutely no signs of Hearthome around. Wait a minute, why did that thought come in my mind. Hearthome, I must’ve been in Hearthome City before being moved here, wherever here is. It’s all coming back to me, slowly but surely. I am no athlete, but I was in decent shape. Though my decent shape is beginning to get tired. This pokemon was moving pretty fast and it was hard to run since I had to keep dodging trees and roots. My face sunk in disappointment, I was loosing stamina and falling back. Not a good thing at all. I leaned over and rested my hands on my knees, allowing me to catch my breath. I didn’t hold this position for long as I was quickly rammed from behind. I was now flying in the air, what the hell is going on. I look over to see a Spearow, with Cyndaquil on it’s back, the poor thing looked scared. I pulled out my poke ball and returned Cyndaquil with a flash of bright red lights. The spearow then turn off right, realizing it was no longer needed. I looked down to find out why I was in the air. My suspicions were correct, I am on a Fearow. The bird pokemon had orange feathers and a long neck. It was huge, perfect for carrying a human. But they weren’t known to randomly pick up Humans. The green light was back, all bright and sparkly. Fearow seemed to be following it. If stuff didn’t start making sense soon I will flip out. Too bad I didn’t have my PokeDex on me. There was nothing else to do, once again I didn’t get to control what I did. I just tried to get comfortable without moving around too much. Don’t want to piss of Mr. Fearow here. Normally it would be time for a flashback to fill the gaps in my back-story but my mind is too focused on trying to figured out what happened just a few minutes ago. Not sure how long it’s been from my last memories to how I got here. But I’m not hungry and my facial hair is non existent, so it couldn’t have been too long. Today had been such a long day, if it still was the day I think it is. Whatever day it is I must’ve not gotten rest because I quickly dozed off. I had dozed off a few times today, kind of getting tired of it. This time I woke up in a bed, though it wasn’t a hospital bed. The walls were wooden, looks like a small cabin. The bed had a thin mattress and only one blanket. Since I was last in the woods, someone must’ve found me and brought me to their cabin. Maybe I fell off the Fearow. Though from that height with all the trees around, I’d be dead most likely. I moved to a standing position, hoping the noise I made would attract whoever’s house this is. Around the corner came a tall, blonde man. He was cleaning a dish in his hands. His hair was straight and neat, his eyes were blue, he had on a big smile. He just looked like a nice guy. I jumped up in shock, the green legendary was behind him. It was fairy like, big eyes, little wings. Being from Johto, I knew this species, only in books though. I’ve never seen it before. “Ce…cel….Celebi!” Writer’s Note- If you’re confused, then good. This chapter was made to take people for a spin, adding lots of new twists for me to uncover. And also I do use spell check thank you very much, I just missed 3 words. It’s hard to use spell check when writing pokemon things, because there are lots of redline already. A chapter every week-ish, hopefully that’s not too long where you forget the last chapter. If you don’t like where the story is going, comment so and I won‘t do plot twists like this anymore. If you do like where the story is going, comment so and I’ll continue making plot twists like this. ------------------- ![]() | |
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| GuitarMan91 |
Oct 19, 10 at 12:03am ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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I'm sure you're thinking 'it took you so dam long, you better have a really long chapter for us.' Truth is, I don't. I have a really short chapter for you. I sat on this, tried to make it longer, without any hope. I know what I want to write, just not sure how to go around it. So I decided just to post this little piece, it's a good transistion chapter anyway. I'm hoping to crank out one long chapter before November 1st, once NaNoWriMo starts, I'll probly not post a chapter for the entire month of November. So I hope you forgive me for this shortness, but enjoy nonetheless
Chapter 7 It was starting to make sense now, sort of. This blonde guy told me the story. His name was Charles Guila. He can communicate fluently with all species of pokemon. Which is why Celebi lead me to his house. Without him Celebi couldn’t get a message to me. Celebi pulled me back in time, it is the time traveling pokemon. It knew what Golden Lion Shiki was up to. But it couldn’t stop him alone. And since I am the only one that knows his evil side, I am the only human that can stop Shiki. Now that you are all caught up, back to present time. Celebi spoke in it’s foreign tongue to Charles again. He then relayed the information back to me. “So you’re the only human that will stop Shiki, which is a predicament, because quite frankly, you’re weak. Celebi’s words not mine. So Celebi thinks you should stay here for a while and train. Cele…” “I can’t train without my other pokemon, I only have Cyndaquil. The others are back in my time.” Charles looked at Celebi for the appropriate response. I wonder how Celebi got him to be so obedient. Maybe something I will find out if I have to stay here for a while. After a short conversation Charles put his eyes back on me. He had been leaning against the wall in this small room we were in. “Celebi says that the training is not for your pokemon, it is for you. You’re pokemon don’t need training. They don’t hold you back, you’re holding them back. Sure you’re nice and determined. But you’re not determined for the right reasons. You need the right motivation.” Celebi tapped him on the shoulder to stop him. Then spoke more in it’s foreign tongue. “I could list off everything you need to fix in yourself but Celebi says it would be better for you to discover that through training. So the last thing is, Celebi is a fair pokemon. When you want to return Celebi will take you back to your current year you belong in. But he won’t take you back to today’s date.” That, I didn’t like so much. “So if I stay here for two years then Celebi will take me back two years from the day he took me from my time?” Celebi and Charles both nodded. “What about my other pokemon, who will take care of them for two years?” If that question could be answered well then I would be all for this. “Celebi has looked forward in time and tells me it will all be alright.” Some things still bothered me, like why couldn’t Celebi bring back my other pokemon. Or even better why Celebi just doesn’t kill Shiki in his sleep or when he was a baby. I guess Celebi is too nice for that, it probably wouldn’t even let me do the job. Shiki’s defeat must be earned. It was time for training. ------------------- ![]() | |
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| Ninthlite |
Mar 14, 11 at 3:58am ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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to be honest i really hate fan fiction based on the anime, even though you are a really good writer I cant push through this. 5/5 stars is my rating
------------------- Pokemon Black 2 Friend Code: 2323 5825 2524 Pokemon White Friend Code: 3568 0851 8825 Pokemon Diamond Friend Code: 2063 9316 0214 Pokemon Soul Silver Code: 5027 7282 8963 | |
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| GuitarMan91 |
Mar 14, 11 at 4:18am ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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1) I have discontiued writing this, your post was unneccessary
2) The story included (2) characters from the anime but if you read it you should've noticed it is in no way, shape or form based off the anime ------------------- ![]() | |
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Hmszelda
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Mar 14, 11 at 1:45pm ^
re: Dyon, Glion and the Golden Lion (Scored a 4.5/5)
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Y did u stop? I just read it all and it was good!
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