|REPLY TO THIS THREAD QUICK REPLY START NEW THREAD|
Jun 21, 09 at 2:40am ^"Open up, it's here" (Incomplete)
Log in to remove this advertisement
“Open up, its here.”
The sun gleams in through the slits of the curtains and lies amongst the scruffy brown beard of a 24 year old man named Kristopher. The sun bounces off a glass that’s half full of gin. The light bends through the glass and makes its way into the dirty clothing lying sprawled out on the ground.
“One pair of blue jeans with a hole over the right knee, one white button up shirt with a pair of pink lips attached to the collar, two white socks with dark spots on the soles and one pair of black sneakers.”
“Wh… what, what?!” Kris pops up out of bed, “Who’s there!?” He yells, while tossing the blanket to the side of the twin sized bed, knocking over the glass of gin unto the white button up. Quickly glancing all around the room he sees nobody around. “Ugh, *bleep*! Where the hell am I? I’ve gotta get out of here...” He grabs the jeans and quickly slips them onto his slim figure. “Damn it…” He says as he sees his shirt with the gin stain on the back. He rings the remaining gin out into the glass cup and puts his socks and shoes on, then quickly makes his way out the door into the apartment building’s hallway.
Out onto the street he reaches into his left pocket and slides out his phone. “One sixteen pm, ugh my head…”
“Spare some change?” a homeless man on the side of the street speaks out to the pedestrians walking by. “Hey man, here ya go.” Kris tosses the homeless man a $5 bill. The homeless man jumps up in excitement, “Oh thank you good sir! Thank you very much!” he reaches his hand out for a hand shake, Kris leans in with his right hand extended, just as their hands touch the homeless man’s face falls expressionless. Kris’ hand turns ice cold. As if time had stopped, Kris can make out every single detail about this man’s face. Every piece of facial hair, every wrinkle that riddles the man’s face, the small mole under his left nostril, the black and blue bruise on his right temple, even the lice running from hair blade to hair blade.
“Well thank you again!” the old man’s voice echoes throughout Kris’ head as time seems to come back to a normal. “No problem man.” Kris says with a half grin as he begins to walk away occasionally looking back at the old man with a confused expression.
Kris makes his way down to his house just a few blocks away. The tree branches begin to twist and turn side-to-side as the wind begins to blows them all around. Green and brown leaves litter the streets. As soon as he gets to the door it begins to rain heavily, an overwhelming noise of tree branches wrestling each other and rain drops splashing onto the old cracked porch and onto passer-bys umbrellas and parked cars. Fear begins to make its way up Kris’ spine as he inserts the key and rushes into the house. Kris lets out a deep sigh of relief and notices the power isn’t working in the house; he makes his way into the basement towards the fuse box. “Kevin must have been tinkering with this shit again…” He flicks the switch to ‘On’ for all the rooms in the house and makes his way upstairs. TV static rings throughout the house with every light in the house glowing.
“Kevin!” Kris yells up the stairs with no response, “*bleep*er…” After a few minutes of turning off all the lights and TVs and all the other appliances that were on, he goes into the living room and lies down on the couch.
Lying on his back looking up at the ceiling, slowly nodding off everything appears to adjust slightly to the left, then slightly back to the right. Colour begins to fill up the ceiling, reds, oranges, blues, browns; they all seem to fuse into one. Slowly, like snakes sliding around the ceiling colours overlapping each other. The lamp begins to flicker on and off. With every flicker the ceiling looks more and more like it is covered in snakes. The sound of snakes slowly slithering and sliding between each other and the occasional flick of their tongue and the occasional rattle becomes more vibrant, louder, and more real.
“Yo man!” the snakes quickly disperse “Did you fix the power? I was messing with the fuse box in the basement but I couldn’t get it to work.” Kris slowly wakes up from his sleep; he wraps himself up into a ball in the corner of the couch with wide eyes pinned on this strange black silhouette that appears in front of him.
“Wh- who are you? What do you want?” Kris says with his eyes still glued to the figure.
“Uh… whatever man, if you’re not going to tell me if you fixed this shit or not I’ll take a look at it.” The silhouette disappears down the stairs. A noise rings out throughout the house; the fuse box powers down, moments later another noise rings throughout the house but this time all the lights and TVs flick on as well. A voice is heard coming from the basement, “What the hell?!”
“Ugh! Ohh Jesus Christ!” Kris yells out in pain clasping his ears, looking over at the TV he sees evil faces laughing and pointing at him. Quickly looking over towards the basement he sees the homeless man standing there, expressionless, and not moving. All the noise around them dissolves and it’s just silent for a few moments. Then all of a sudden tears stream down his face and he looks up towards the heavens as his knees fall to the floor, his hands clasp each other in a prayer position, at that exact moment the black silhouette runs up the stairs and right through the homeless man, sending him into a million little fragments that float off and vanish.
“Shit! Kevin!” Kris yells out.
“Oh man, what’s wrong!?” Kevin darts towards him and consoles him.
“You didn’t see any of that?” a shocked Kris asks.
“See what? I came home and you were sleeping on the couch acting all weird so I went down to fix the power in the basement and when I came back up you were going all crazy.” Kris glances over at the TV and notices the volume is on mute and static is playing.
“Oh geez, I don’t know what’s up with me lately.” Kris explains. “I’ve been hearing shit and seeing shit all day.”
“What’s with this lipstick mark on your collar man? Got lucky last night eh?” chuckles Kevin.
“What lipstick mark?” Kris takes off the shirt and looks at the pink pudgy mark left by an unknown. Trying to think back to what happened the night before all he remembers is gin and a figure in a hallway, until a powerful migraine hits him. “I have no idea how that got there. I can’t even recall what happened.” Kris explains.
“Just try to get some rest,” says Kevin “I’m not going out today so if you need anything I’ll be here. I’ll make sure nothing weird happens, man.” Kris takes a deep sigh and extends his legs out taking up the couch. He wraps a blanket around his body as he closes his eyes. Kevin takes Kris’ shirt and tosses it into the dirty laundry pile.
Kevin makes his way into the kitchen to make something to eat. After sticking his head into the fridge and rummaging for a few minutes, he comes out with two eggs, some slices of bread, and a carton of orange juice. Cracking the eggs and tossing them into the pan, he puts the slices of bread into the toaster.
He waits while sipping some juice, with his head leaning over the toaster and the heat rising up to warm his face. He looks out the window as it begins to heat up and slowly rise. His face begins to slowly peal away; melting and falling onto the toaster making a sizzling noise. Kevin is fixated on something he spots out the window in the near by forest. Slowly his facial features begin to melt off and fall all over the counter and on the toaster causing his skin to bubble and sizzle away. His neck begins to melt away exposing his Adam’s apple. The clouds outside begin to darken as the sky turns to red. The eyes of the figure Kevin is fixated on begin to glow vividly in a bright yellow hue. He slowly closes his eyes and tilts his head upwards but within seconds his eyelids peal away sliding down what remains of his face and onto the counter.
“Kevin!” Kris yells, standing in the doorway. “Keep an eye on the damn eggs!” Kevin quickly snaps around and blinks several times, wiping his eyes.
“Uh, yeah, sorry about that man, I guess I slipped away there for a moment.” Kevin nervously chuckles. He flips the eggs as the toaster pops. Kris comes into the kitchen and grabs some Advil and goes back to lying down on the couch and whining about how none of the channels on the TV work. Kevin smears some peanut butter over the pieces of toast then puts the eggs onto the plate and heads into the living room.
Taking a seat on the couch Kevin mutters, “Yeah, I’m not sure what’s wrong with the thing. It was working fine last night.” while offering some eggs to Kris.
“No thanks, can I get something to drink though?” Kris says.
“Yeah… Sure, let me grab that juice for ya.” Kevin says as he gets up and goes into the kitchen and grabs his glass of orange juice. He quickly peeks out the window and doesn’t see anything unusual.
“Yo, you coming back or what?” Kris says jokingly.
He walks back into the living room with the glass of juice scratching his head, “Did you see anything weird just a few minutes ago, outside?” he mutters.
“Nah, I just woke up to the noise of sizzling and bubbling of something burning so I got up and went into the kitchen and noticed that the eggs were all messed up.” Kris replies as he takes some Advil and a gulp of the orange juice. “I’m gonna try to get some rest now though.” He goes back to lying down and rolls over.
“No problem man, have a good sleep.” He finishes his food and turns off the TV and then heads back into the kitchen. Refilling his glass of orange juice, he heads downstairs. Slowly makes his way down the steps being weary of Kris’ sleep as each step pops and creeks. He reaches the bottom and beings to shiver a little bit, “Damn its cold down here…” He says under his breath. Beginning to make his way to the fuse box where the TV cable is hooked up, he spots a rather large insect running towards him, he jumps, “*bleep*ing things…” he sighs in relief.
He gets to the fuse box and quickly notices the problem; the cables are too loose, barely touching. Quickly tightening them up and hurrying up the stairs making sure no insects get near him. Not worrying about the creeks and the pops of the steps he rushes up them but once he reaches the top, the door slams close on his face, almost forcing him to fall backwards but he quickly grabs onto the door knob. Pushing the door open he notices no one is around and Kris is still lying down. Rushing over to Kris he kicks the couch and yells “What the *bleep* man!?”
“Yo man, what are you doing?” Kris says while rubbing his eyes.
“Don’t act stupid man, I know it was you!” Kevin yells, “There’s no one else here, no one else could have done that except for you.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about man.” Kris rolls back over and closes his eyes.
“Ya *bleep*in’ tool.” Kevin says under his breath and tosses the glass of orange juice at Kris. He puts on his shoes and slams the door as he leaves. He begins to feel a little chilly so he throws his hood up over his head as he walks away from home.
Walking aimlessly downtown for an hour or two he eventually takes a seat on a bench in the city’s memorial park. With his elbows on his knees, bent forward slightly he stared at the blades of grass at his feet. Occasionally watching an ant or two climb up the blade to the top and then back down the other side. Closely following an ant with his eyes trained on it, the ant wondered into an ant hill where there seemed to be hundred of little ants running in and out of. There were a few more ant hills near by, all with ants crawling in and out of them. Some of them are carrying small clumps of food, others carrying dirt, and others with nothing.
He begins to wonder if how closely related human life is to an ant’s life; all the similarities and differences. Wondering if after all these years sharing the Earth with humans, what do they think of us? Do they see us as monsters that come and occasionally ruin their homes and kill their brothers and sisters? Do they think we mean to do this? Do they think we accidently do it and feel sorrow afterwards and quickly forgive us? Do they know anything about us?
Just then a foot comes out of no where and lands right on one of the ant hills. Kevin quickly pulls his earpieces out and turns off his music as he looks up to see a lady standing there. With one hand slightly over his face to block the sun he asks “Yes? May I help you?”
“Hi, I was wondering if you know what time it is?” the lady says exhausted as she takes a seat next to him.
“Uh… yeah,” He says pulling out his cell phone. He reads the time off “It is 3:38pm.” Wiping the sweat from her forehead with her left hand she says “Oh, thank you.” She extends her right hand out while wiping her left hand on her pants and says “My name’s Krystal by the way. I was just going for a jog through the park.”
“Hey, my name’s Kevin.” Kevin replies softly “Nice to meet you.”
“Say, uh… I’m fairly new in town, would you mind showing me around some time? Maybe go for a cup of coffee or something?” she replies.
“Uh… Yeah, sure.” He replies with a smile as they exchange numbers.
“Thanks, I’ll be sure to give you a call sometime. I have to be getting back home now though.” She giggles and smiles while getting up to leave. She starts walking off and occasionally looking back to see Kevin watching her and smiling in her direction.
…Last Edited June 12 2009
|Log in or register to remove this advertisement|
Jun 21, 09 at 7:41am ^re: "Open up, it's here" (Incomplete)
Conceptually this is interesting, and I always like idea-driven pieces. Literately, this seems pretty rushed, the complexity of your writing and ideas merit a much slower pace in my opinion. This isn't helped by the repititiveness of your writing in places, which increases the speed, and makes it harder to read.
However, this is a promising piece, it displays some good writing and all-in-all I like it.
|[All dates in (PST) time]||Threads List « Next Newest Next Oldest »|
|REPLY TO THIS THREAD QUICK REPLY START NEW THREAD|
Powered by neoforums v2.3.9b (Bolieve)
Copyright Neo Era Media, Inc. 1999-2016