Hi. Im a newbie in the writers lounge. The first thing i want to clear up is that this story has nothing to do the game stolen. I accept all comments, criticism and suggestions and i welcome people to do so. Anyway enjoy the story!

She had it. She had the Dragon’s Eye, the rarest ruby in the world, about the size of a fist. But at what cost? She had managed to steal it before all the others thieves in Windfall City and had assumed that they would follow the thief’s code. If more than one thief goes after the same object then the best thief wins. In other words whoever gets the object first gets to keep the object and the other thief can’t do anything about it, just congratulate the winner and be off. Other codes like no murder unless it’s absolutely necessary, if you can assist an escaping thief then do so and never betray a thief’s true identity had also been ignored tonight. But the worse thing was that she had been framed for the murder of her best friend. She had walked into her friend’s apartment to find her lying lifeless on the floor and one of her accomplices climbing out the window, throwing the knife he had used to murder her friend back at her. Like an idiot she had caught it, putting all her fingerprints over it. She had cradled her friend in her arms for a moment, causing her blood to soak into her clothes. She had come here to show her friend the Dragon’s Eye and discuss their plan of getting away from this place and the guild of thieves, to never have to answer to them again. But that couldn’t happen now. Just then the cops had broken down the door and Daniel Wilder, the lead investigator, couldn’t believe his eyes. How could she have done this? How could his old childhood friend, Alex, have murdered someone? He didn’t get the chance to ask because she had leapt out the window and scaled the drainpipe to the roof. ‘After her!’ shouted Wilder. ‘Call for back up and get the chopper out!’
She jumped over the rooftops, hurdling railing and leaping over gaps between the buildings.
‘What’s the matter Shadow?’ she turned to the man who had called her by her code name. Seth was leaning against a wall, grinning at her devilishly.
‘I don’t have time for this Seth, I’ve been set up and Nicky’s dead!’ she retorted bluntly, turning back to her escape route. Seth grabbed her arm and roughly wrenched her back to face him.
‘No Alex, I’ve had enough of this! For once you will make time for me. I’m not listening to any more of your excuses. I’m tired of Jase and your relationship with him. I’ve tried to show you how I feel but you threw it in my face.’ Seth slammed her hard into the wall, pinning her arms by her side. ‘We will be together,’ he whispered. He pushed his mouth against hers, crushing her lips. She struggled in his grip, desperately trying to wrench her face away from his. Seth released her from the kiss, chuckling at the look on her face.
‘You’ll just have to learn to accept it,’ he snorted. Alex swooned as if the kiss had knocked her off her feet. ‘Oh Seth,’ she sighed dreamily, looking into his eyes lovingly.
‘What is it Alex?’ he breathed, wondering if she had finally realized she loved him just as much as he loved her. Her eyes suddenly became cold and full of loathing. ‘Never have your legs spread in front of me.’ His eyes widened in shock and pain as she rammed her knee between his legs. He doubled over, gasping, and she ran as fast and hard as she could. She didn’t dare look back, not sure if he was chasing her or not. Just when she was hoping she had got away the helicopter came out from behind the building in front of her. The blinding spotlight held its position on her and a cop called out on a megaphone. ‘You are surrounded! There is no escape, so give your self up now!’
‘There’s always an escape!’ she screamed back, leaping over the railing and climbing down the fire escape. It stopped about five metres off the ground, but Alex didn’t have time to think about safety. She pushed herself off the bars, her instincts making her roll on impact. She held her ribs for a second, panting slightly. She ignored the pain, knowing that if she stopped now she would never run again.
All for this she thought hopelessly, looking at the gem in her hand. It glinted evilly, as though it enjoyed her pain. I can’t give it up now, not after all the trouble I went through to get it.

So what do ya think?

It's different to the stories I'm used to seeing around here. Although I reckon it's an interesting enough introduction to make me want to make me read more, although make sure there' more character development in the next installment. I like it I'd definitely come back and read the next part

You learn more about the character in the next chapter. It isnt as exciting as the first. It's mostly about learning about what led to her stealing ways and stuff. Anyway Im glad you liked it.

I was kinda hoping for more comments but that doesn't matter. As long as someone's reading it right? Anyway here's the next chapter.

IN THE BEGINNING

Alex Lakes had always been a big disappointment to her mother. It started out normally enough when she was little, dressing up as a princess, hundreds of friends, heaps of brightly colored clothes. Her long black hair, grey eyes and pretty features promised that she would grow up to be a real beauty. Joanne had been happy with her good life and raising a normal, happy girl. She was even pregnant with another child. Alex’s father, Paul Lakes, had been overjoyed, boasting about it to all of his friends and often seen with his hands on his wife’s belly, smiling down at his unborn child.
It all changed on the night of the birth. Alex had been seven when her mother had gone into labor and was taken to hospital. Joanne’s best friend Rachel had been called to come in because her husband was at work and couldn’t come to the hospital straight away. He told them he would be there as soon as possible. Rachel had sat in the waiting area with Alex, who was practically bouncing off the walls, she was so excited. Hours had passed and Tom Lakes had been brought into the world, still without his father’s presence. Tom had been born with a very bad breathing condition that nearly killed him barely hours after his birth. The doctors had got his lungs working again thankfully, and had informed them that this condition would affect Tommy (as he was known by from then on) for the rest of his life. Joanne said she didn’t care, that they would do everything they could to help him through it and see him lead a happy life. Alex was fascinated by the little baby and was delighted when he wrapped his little tiny fingers around her own. Joanne kept asking where her husband was and they said they didn’t know. They tried reaching his work phone and his mobile but neither were answered. Tommy had been taken away so Joanne could rest. Alex had been taken back to Rachel’s house where she would stay the night and wake up to the worst news in her short lifetime.
Paul Lakes had died in a car accident. He had been speeding to get to the hospital, had unconsciously ran a red light and got totaled by a truck. There had been no hope of saving him. Joanne had been devastated and her parents had moved in for a couple of months to help with the baby while she coped with her grief. Alex had gone completely numb. She barely talked and slowly lost most of her friends. At the funeral Tommy had cried his eyes out, as though he understood what was going on and shared all their grief. Alex hadn’t cried, just stood there, her face showing her shock. After wearing that black dress she never went back to her brightly colored clothes. Her mother had grown concerned and taken her to grief therapy. It helped slightly, Alex started speaking again, but she wasn’t the same happy-go-lucky girl anymore. She only wore dark colors and was closed off, not really showing her feelings anymore. Except anger. She was always angry.
Instead of the doll Alex had been begging her mum to get for her birthday she asked for a skateboard. Joanne hadn’t thought it was a good idea but the therapist approved of it, saying it would be a good way for Alex to release her anger. So Joanne bought it.
Only a handful of Alex’s friend’s stuck by her. Her best friend, Daniel Wilder, stayed away at first, but they eventually made up. Kelly Stone, not liking this new skater attitude, denounced Alex, telling anyone who asked that they were never friends and they never would be. This didn’t bother Alex. Compared to the things that happened to her later in life, this was piece of cake.

lol ironically I've had a lung collapse... I like it, character was developed, background given has emotion.

Thanks
Hey I've been reading your poetry, it's really good! Not all dark and depressing like other peotry I've read.

Ok guys here's Stolen part three. Enjoy!

SEVEN YEARS LATER
Alex stalked off the bus, ignoring Daniel’s pleas for her to wait up. She wasn’t talking to him. Once again, he had pretended he didn’t know her when she had tried to speak to him in front of his cool friends. In fact he had completely ignored her. So she was returning the favor. As she walked past, Tiffany Carl couldn’t resist making a snide comment.
‘What’s happened Alex? Did your wardrobe vomit out your clothes this morning?’
The rest of her group sniggered, including Kelly Stone. A cold look from Alex fixed that up, causing her to stop mid giggle and look at the ground guiltily.
Alex looked down at the school uniform she had made many adjustments to. The grey skirt’s hem had been cut so that it was jagged and a chain strung across the front. The shirt sleeves had been slit to the elbows so that they hung off her arms. She wore black arm warmers that also served as fingerless gloves. The pocket that had the school emblem on it had been ripped off from the front of her light blue shirt and the black tie was pulled way down. Her top button was undone, revealing the necklace with a small silver skull charm that she wore. Her hair was down and to finish it all off she wore scruffy black boots.
Tiffany, how ever, was a Barbie. Tall and skinny, perfect blonde hair, blue eyes, flawless pale skin and good fashion sense. The most popular girl in there year and going out with the hottest ninth grader in school. In most people’s eyes the perfect girl. In Alex’s eyes a total air head. There were no thoughts in that girls head. Alex continued to walk down the street, annoyed when Daniel ran up beside her.
‘Why didn’t you wait for me?’ he asked indignantly, panting slightly. Alex gave him cold look then continued to stare at the footpath in front of her. Daniel, catching her look, sighed tiredly.
‘Look I’m sorry about being such a jerk at Lunch. It’s just that I want to look cool in front of my frie-‘
‘Don’t be sorry,’ she interrupted. ‘I’m not.’
He looked at her with surprise.
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘I mean that I’m sick and tired Daniel. Sick and tired. You continuously blow me off for other friends and if they hate me you pretend to hate me. You act like you don’t know me, as though we haven’t been friends for eleven years. I’m through with being your back-up friend. The one that you complain to when those idiots you call your friends show their true colors.’ Alex took a deep breath, and then said one last thing.
‘To make a long story short this friendship is over.’
Daniel stopped in his tracks. Alex, too tired to care, just walked on.
‘Who else do you have Alex?’ Daniel shouted after her. ‘I’m the only person who cares about you!’
Alex turned around and shouted back angrily, ’wrong! I have Jase!’
‘Jase?’Daniel snorted. ‘That boy’s just using you. I know the stuff you two get up to after school! You steal stuff Alex! You started going out with him and he brainwashed you! The guy’s a real dick!’
Alex marched right up to him and punched him in the face, knocking him down.
‘He treats me better than you ever did!’ She hissed, watching him roll around holding his bloody nose.
‘Alexandra Lakes! Go to the principal’s office right now!’
Ms. Triad stalked over, her eyes stern behind her glasses, the too tight bun pulling back the skin on her face. The clothes she wore were only meant to be seen on a seventy year old woman. She sent Daniel off to Sick Bay then escorted Alex to Mr. Wood’s office.
Alex got suspended. Joanne and Mark, mum’s boyfriend, got called in. Mr. Wood explained the incident, Alex’s continuous disregard for school uniform and wagging all Religion lessons. Obviously she got an earful in the car on the way home. They made it home and the adults were still ranting.
‘It’s up to us to look after you and teach you the rules. You will act and dress appropriately,’ Mark’s comment and scornful look at her clothing was frustrating for Alex. When he went over to her mum and put his arm around Joanne for support it made her boil with rage. He had gone too far.
‘Who the hell do you think you are!?’ Alex screamed at him. ‘You are not my father, you don’t run my life and you most definitely do not tell me what to do!’ Alex turned her back and stalked down the corridor, slamming the door as she entered her room. She had no time for him. She had to meet Jason and then they had a heist to pull.

Lol even more emotion XD I'm taking it the two introduced girls will take on a more prominent feature in the story?

Kelly Stone and Daniel Wilder end up coming back, as to Tiffany Carl I dont exactly know. Might be able to fit here in somewhere.
I wish someone else would write a comment. Not that im sick of you or anything, you're great, it' just that it would be nice to know if someone else was reading my story.
*sigh* such is life

The next installment is here, enjoy!


Alex changed into her favorite outfit. Baggy blue jeans with a hole in the left knee and a black t-shirt that had a white question mark on the front. She left her skull necklace, scruffy boots and black arm warmers on and added a black bandana that had white skulls and cross bones all over it. She checked herself in the mirror and smiled with satisfaction. If only Mark could see her now. Not that he would. She planned to sneak out the window. But school wouldn’t end for ages. She had after all been suspended as soon as she got off the bus. She would need entertainment as she waited for Jase. She grabbed her skateboard. Problem solved. She was about to climb out the window when she heard a voice behind her.
‘Alex?’
All of Alex’s anger drained away as she turned to see her little brother standing in the doorway, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He had always been able to do that, make her calm no matter what had happened. He must have just woken up, she realized, dropping down from the window frame. His breathing had got really bad and he couldn’t go to school.
‘Tommy’, she said in relief, glad to see he was well enough to move around. Sometimes his breathing got so bad he had to stay in bed all day.
‘It’s Tom, not Tommy. I’m not a little kid anymore!’ He said indignantly.
‘No, I guess you aren’t’, she smiled jokingly, looking pointedly at his clown pajamas and stuffed teddy bear. He stared down at the bear for a moment then threw it down the hall, out of sight. Alex laughed.
‘Are you going somewhere sis?’ he asked, walking up to her and taking hold of her hand, looking up at her with wide, pleading eyes. It weakened her resolve to leave. Tommy hated Mark nearly as much as she did. Maybe more. He didn’t want to be alone with him. Mum didn’t count because it didn’t matter what Mark did in front of her she let it go. Alex had always viewed the way mum had started going out with Mark only a year after dad died as a betrayal to him and her children. Mark had just waltzed into their lives and taken control. Alex had made sure Tommy always knew that Mark wasn’t his father. Mark had always treated Tommy and Alex like they were wastes of time and space anyway, so she needn’t have bothered. Tommy would have known a real father would never treat his kids that way. Alex sighed. It was her instinct, a natural impulse, that she protect her brother and try to make him as happy as possible. Tommy was the most important person in the world to her. In fact he was the only important person in her world, besides Jason of course. Usually a request like this would have her snuggled up with her brother on her bed, reading him his favorite story and telling him about all the things she did on her skateboard. He particularly liked the parts when she would hurt herself. He worried when it was a serious injury but if it was a scrape he would tease her and want to see the scars. He was her little brother after all. But she couldn’t do that now. She needed to get ready for the heist.
‘Sorry Tommy. I really have to go’, she said, the regret clearly heard in her voice. “You can stay in my room if you want and play with the Xbox 360. Do anything to stay away from Mark.’
She went back to the window and climbed out, looking back at her little brother reassuringly.
‘Don’t worry Tommy. Everything will be OK.’

quote Amber_jade

I wish someone else would write a comment. Not that im sick of you or anything, you're great, it' just that it would be nice to know if someone else was reading my story.
*sigh* such is life

twas a good read, better then this old dusty book I have to read for class! you should make your own book! =D get this published or some thing! xD

quote CardCaptor Sakura

you should make your own book! =D get this published or some thing! xD

Ooooh suspenseful crisis. Also, I like the addition of the idea of Alex thinking about why she was driving bringing up further questions, bring on the next bit

oohhh, next chaper, i like it