5 Things to Remember in a Zombie Apocalypse (funny)

Hey, I posted this on my own website, thought some people here might be interested.

It's important to have emergency action plans for any possible oncoming tragedy, and a hungry horde of flesh eating zombies is no exception. I've noticed a severe lack of documentation preparing citizens for such an attack. Sure we know what to do in a fire, earthquake, or an attack from a legion of Richard Simmons Robots, but the people of the world are left completely blindsided when it comes to the event of a Zombie Apocalypse. So I've come up with the following five tips to help each of you in the event of such a tragedy.

1.) Surround yourself with slow people. Zombies will attack the first thing they reach, which means as long as your faster than the people you roll with, you stand a better chance of survival. You have from now to whenever the zombie apocalypse occurs to befriend the slowest peeps on the block. Have skinny friends that enjoy running marathons? Dump them. They may only be friends with you to protect THEMSELVES in the event of the Zombie Apocalypse. If you can't bring yourself to dump them, perhaps you can turn the table on them. Try practicing this line, "Gee, good friend that would be by my side, even in the event of an illogical world crisis, would you like a third helping of mash potatoes?"

Lol, if you want to check out the rest, I have it posted at http://jeffreyconolly.com/journal/?p=4