Post funny things that the Star Wars characters would not say to each other. I'll go first:

1. ( Anakin wakes up from the nightmare of Padme dying.)

Padme: Anakin, what's wrong?

Anakin: Nothing, I just had this awesome dream that you would err.......... never mind.

I guess I'll say another.

Yoda: Take action, we must.


Mace Windu: What are you talking about you stupid green tard?

my turn.

(Anakin)i hate you padme but i love u obi-wan!

(obi-wan)interesting wanna sleep with me?

(Anakin) of course! And may i say ur hair is delicous.

yoda-hmm, destroy the sith we must.

mace windu-duhh...u little green *bleep*.

Yoda: We Must end the wars

Anakin: Wanna feel my saber?

Yoda: "Destroy the Sith, we must."
Obi-Wan: "Oh, do we really have to? There's this movie I wanna see..."

Sidious: "No, no... you will die!"
Windu: "Hee hee, that tickles!"
Sidious: "Unlimited power!"
Windu: "Please... stop! I'm so ticklish! Hee hee!"

Grievous: "Anakin Skywalker! I had imagined you a little older!"
Anakin: "General Grievous. I had imagined you as a gorgeous muscle-bound stud."
Grievous: "What?"
Anakin: "Oh... erm, I mean... oh, see that footie last night? Yeah, totally offside... I'm not gay, honest..."
Obi-Wan: "Oh dear..."

Vader: "Where is Padme?"
Sidious: "It seems, in your anger, you killed her."
Vader: "Oh well, plenty more fish in the sea... win some, lose some, eh?"
Sidious: "Excellent!"

Dooku: "Your swords please. We don't want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor."
Obi-Wan: "Oh... okay, here you go..."
Anakin: "Yes, since you put it like that, here's my lightsaber too..."
Dooku: "Wow, I can't believe that worked."

Windu: "I am going to end this once and for all!"
Anakin: "You can't! He must stand trial!"
Windu: "Oh, God... stupid whiney kid... why I allowed him on the Council is beyond me..."

Yoda: "Tarfull, Chewbacca. Good friends you are. Miss you, I will."
Chewbacca: "I'll miss you too, Yoda. A great friend you've been. Good luck with your quest!"
Yoda: "Pardon?!?"
Chewbacca: "Oh, damn, I mean... rwoah!"

Anakin: "Master... live long and prosper."
Obi-Wan: "Wrong series, you twat!"

I'm crying with laughter from these lines. Let's see if I can come up with some...

(The end of Revenge of the Sith)

Vader: NOOOOO!!!!!....... I ONLY GOT LAID ONCE BY HER!!! NO!!!!!


Obi-Wan: It's over Anikan! I have the high ground! Wha--AAHHHH!!! *trips and falls into the lava*

Anikan: HA! IN YOUR FACE, BEE-ATCH!


Obi-Wan: I loved you! Uh... no, no, I'M NOT GAY!


Sidious: *grunts* The force is STROOONG WITH YOU!!! *sighs, farting*

Hahaha! This is fun!

Windu: Im sorry ive been mean to you Anakin, here ill let you be a Jedi Master, here have my seat!
Anakin: No thanks im gonna go back to podracing, least i got paid doing that you cheap gits!!

Dooku: Your swords please!
Anakin: Its called a LIGHTSABER you tit!

Obi-Wan: You were my brother Anakin!
Anakin: No Obi-Wan, I am your nephew!
Obi-Wan: Nooooooo!!!!!!

Anakin: Master cant we just settle this matter over a pint?
Obi-Wan: No!!
Anakin:...2 pints?
Obi-Wan: Erm...no! You killed all the Jedi!!
Anakin: Ok then...4 pints!
Obi-Wan: Well...erm...fine all is forgiven!
Sidious: Can I come?
Anakin and Obi-Wan: NO!!!
Sidious: Oh no fair!

Sidious: "The Sith will once more rule the galaxy!"
Yoda: "Not if anything to say about it, I have."
Sidious: "Erm... what?"
Yoda: "Fun of me, you should not make. Genetic, this speech problem is."
Sidious: "You know, I really haven't a clue what you're going on about..."
Yoda: "Shut up, you will, and duel me, you shall."
Sidious: "You know, whatever you said, I don't care. I'm just going to duel you now..."
Yoda: "Phew! My message, finally it got across."
Sidious: "Shut up, you fool!"

Sidious: "The time has come. Execute Order 66."
Commander Cody: "You want me to put a parking ticket on General Kenobi's lizard?"
Sidious: "No! Order 66, not Order 67!"
Commander Cody: "Oh, right! Erm... which one is Order 66 again?"
Sidious: "The kill all Jedi one!"
Commander Cody: "Ah, that's it! Erm... don't you think that's a little harsh? I mean, Jedi are really quite cool, you know..."
Sidious: "I'm going to hang up now, and when I call back, I want the Jedi dead! Do you understand me?"
Commander Cody: "...and they have fought alongside us for ages..."
Sidious: "Are you listening to me?"
Commander Cody: "...I just don't feel right turning my gun on my friend, you know?"
Sidious: "Don't make me come down there!"

Obi-Wan: "You missed the intelligence briefing."
Anakin: "Sorry, Master."
Obi-Wan: "I saw some interesting holo-pictures..."
Anakin: "I was young! I needed the money!"
Obi-Wan: "No, not that kind of holo-picture..."
Anakin: "Oh, thank goodness, that's a relief!"
Obi-Wan: "Besides, Yoda keeps that sort of holo-picture for himself..."
Anakin: "Erm... you what?"

Sidious: "Have you ever heard the tale of Darth Plagueis?"
Anakin: "No."
Sidious: "Of course you wouldn't, it's not a story the Jedi like to tell. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith. Once upon a time, he was sitting on a wall when, all of a sudden, he had a great fall."
Anakin: "Gasp! What happened?"
Sidious: "Well, all the Supreme Chancellor's horses and all the Supreme Chancellor's men couldn't put Plagueis together again. So, he manipulated the midi-chlorians and cheated death, bringing himself back together to form one whole egg... erm, I mean person."
Anakin: "He could actually stop death?"
Sidious: "Yes... weren't you listening, boy? Pay attention!"

Commander Cody: "General Kenobi! You've been requested to meet with the Utapau mission quartermaster."
Obi-Wan: "Okay, I'll go and see him before I leave..."
Q: "Ah! There you are, General Kenobi! I've one or two interesting little gadgets that you might need on your next assignment."
Obi-Wan: "Erm... okay."
Q: "First, this may look like an ordinary wristwatch, but it actually is a highly-intensified laser beam, handy for burning through locks and metal plates."
Obi-Wan: "Shouldn't you be in another film series?"
Q: "Pay attention, General! I haven't time for your adolescant antics!"
Obi-Wan: "Sorry... sorry..."
Q: "Now, your new transportation: the Aston Martin V12 Vanquish, complete with a nifty little cloaking device and the usual rockets, machine guns, GPS tracking systems that come as standard. I'm sure you'll find this highly useful on a planet with no roads!"
Obi-Wan: "I was planning to ride a big lizard, actually..."
Q: "Really! I detest the disregard you have for my equipment, I really do!"
Obi-Wan: "I'm going to leave now..."
Q: "Do bring that lightsaber back in one piece this time, 00-Jedi!"

*The clones attack Mace Windu and Master Yoda*

Yoda: Discovered us, the clones have!
Mace Windu: Yes, I can see that. Why don't you move that green ass of yours and help me fight?

Anakin: "I've been having these strange dreams of Padme, Master."

Yoda: "Mmmm!" "A question I have."

Anakin: "Yes, master?"

Yoda: "Would you lick her ass?" "Hmmm?"

Hmm, let's see...

Yoda: Destroy the sith, WE. MUST.

Obi-Wan: IN A MINUTE, YOU STUPID GREEN TURD! I'M WATCHING "SPACEBALLS"!


Mace Windu: Why AM I the only black Jedi on the Jedi council?! (source - "Star Wars Episode III: A Lost Hope")


Yoda: *lights a cigarette* Going to die, we're all.

Yoda: We must destroy the sith!
Obi Wan: Wait, you can talk normally! So all this time you where just trying to pis...

*Yoda Slices Obi Wan in half*

Yoda: Be kept, my secret must be!

Obi-Wan: Its over Anakin! I have the high ground! If you come up here ill kill you!
Anakin: No you wont! You slice me, then I fall towards the lava, get horribly scared, Sidious sustains me in a special suit, and I get my revenge on you in Episode 4!
Obi-Wan: Bloody hell even Yoda wouldnt be able to predict that! How do you know?
Anakin: Because I read the script idiot!
Obi-Wan: Oh yeah..

quote Dreadblade666

Obi-Wan: Its over Anakin! I have the high ground! If you come up here ill kill you!
Anakin: No you wont! You slice me, then I fall towards the lava, get horribly scared, Sidious sustains me in a special suit, and I get my revenge on you in Episode 4!
Obi-Wan: Bloody hell even Yoda wouldnt be able to predict that! How do you know?
Anakin: Because I read the script idiot!
Obi-Wan: Oh yeah..