re: Joke Thread - Page 4 - Loungin'

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Chicken Fox Do you feel lucky punk?...well do you? ultra seeker since: Jun 2004	Jul 21, 07 at 2:22am ^ re: Joke Thread
	Log in to remove this advertisement quote Tainted There were three men lost in the jungle. For days they searched for any sign of humanity, but to no avail. Finally they stumbled upon a village. The head of the village looked at them and said, "Well men, you must prove yourself worthy of our tribe. Go find ten pieces of one kind of fruit and return when you have done so." The next day the first man returns with 10 apples. The chief looks at him and says, "Now, you must shove them all up your butt without grimacing or uttering a sound. If you fail to do so we will kill you." So the man attempts it, managing to get one in fine but grimacing on the 2nd. The tribe kills him. The next day the second man comes back to the tribe carrying blueberries. After they explained the task to him he sighed, managing to get the first nine easy. However, on the 10th he starts laughing, and the chief kills him as well. So, the two men are in heaven, and the first man asks, "Dude, you were so close. Why did you laugh?" The 2nd man replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming with pineapples." Cracked me up completely, best one I have read so far. I can't think off a good one right now, so I'll go with a few lame "your mama is so fat/skinny..." ones. Your mama is so fat, when she climbed on the scale to check her weight, it read "To be continued". Your mama is so skinny she has to run around in the shower to get wet. Your mama's head is so small, she uses a teabag for a pillow. ------------------- Metal gear Solid 4: Guns of The Patriots
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wiithepeople Dammit I'm old... Two much Neo total posts: 2425 since: May 2007	Jul 21, 07 at 3:27am ^ re: Joke Thread
	Yo mama is so fat, she's fat.
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TurMoiL911 A man, a lighthouse, and a city. (moderator) Action [PS3] total posts: 29507 GameGrep pts: 1928 since: Apr 2004	Jul 21, 07 at 4:13am ^ re: Joke Thread
	quote wii_the_people Yo mama is so fat, she's fat. That was either a poor attempt at a joke or a sarcastic comment. Either way, it wasn't funny. ------------------- Tango Uniform Romeo Mike Oscar India Lima 9iner 1ne 1ne
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guitarlegend123 Neophyte total posts: 29 since: Jul 2007	Jul 21, 07 at 11:24am ^ re: Joke Thread
	Joke 1 Q Whats green and invisable? A This cabbage Joke 2 A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole whose selling point was that it was on top of the largest skyscraper in town. Another man walks in and asks the bartender for a Jack Daniel's. He downs it, and then takes a running leap out the window. Much to everybody's surprise, he floats back up and climbs through the window back into the bar. The man at the bar is amazed and asks the man how he did it. "Easy," says the man. "Outside this window are some very strong wind currents which can carry you back to the window." "Wow," says the man at the bar. "I gotta try this." He takes a running leap out the window and falls to a horrible, bloody, and flat death. "Geez, Superman," says the bartender. "You can be a real a jerk when you're drunk."
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Fertro The Village Idjit Still Seekin' total posts: 3746 since: Jul 2006	Jul 21, 07 at 12:00pm ^ re: Joke Thread
	WARNING: These may be offensive to some. These 2 go together... What sits at the bottom of a pool and is white? A drowned Baby What sits at the bottom of a pool and is Green? Same baby two weeks later. ----------------------------------------- What's red, sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a Potato Pealer. What's better than a truck full of dead babies? A live one in the middle, eating it's way out. How do you stop going round on a clothes line? With a pitchfork. What goes round and round and round and then pops? A baby in a microwave. ------------------- "...But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back, Up front there ought'a be a Man In Black..."
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Infinite Gravity s-e-e-k-e-r total posts: 1858 GameGrep pts: 146 since: May 2006	Jul 21, 07 at 12:24pm ^ re: Joke Thread
	A hunter dials 911 and says, "I just shot at something that I thought was a deer but it was another hunter. I'm afraid I just killed him." The operator says, "It's OK sir, it may not be as bad as you think. First, make sure he's really dead." The guy says OK and sets down the phone. Then the operator hears a gunshot. He picks up the phone and says, "OK, now what?" -- She Was So Blonde that.. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She tripped over the cordless phone. She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. She told someone to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk". She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign here", she wrote Sagittarius. If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. When she heard that 90% of all crimes happen around the home, she moved. She got an AM radio. It took her 9 months to figure out that she could use it at night. She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "Concentrate". -- Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$68,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!" MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Does anyone know whose phone this is?" -- A blonde is walking around and hears someone saying '20,20,20...'. Following the sound, the blonde sees a brunette jumping on a railroad track saying '20,20,20...'. Being blonde she gets on the track with her and together they jump and recite '20,20,20...'. Suddenly the brunette jumps off the track as ant the blonde is run over by a train. Pausing for only a moment, the brunette jumps back on the tracks saying '21,21,21...'. -- A blonde a brunette and a red head all die and when you die you need to pass a test to go to heaven. God tells you 100 jokes (1 joke per step in a staircase) and if you laugh at one of them you have to start over again at the bottom of the steps. The brunette goes 10 steps and laughs, the red head goes 7 steps and laughs, and the blonde goes 99 steps and laughs. Why did the blonde make it so far without laughing? She just got the first joke!! Provided by www.lol.com
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Woudo Neolithic total posts: 6263 GameGrep pts: 155 since: Jan 2007	Jul 21, 07 at 1:38pm ^ re: Joke Thread
	I soiled myself when i read Fertro's. ------------------- Second place in the "Most male shafts polished orally" leaderboards second only to Chirovette. Chirovette clearly boosts his score with the Neoseeker supermods almost daily. No ordinary man can compete with such amazing phallic mastery.
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Infinite Gravity s-e-e-k-e-r total posts: 1858 GameGrep pts: 146 since: May 2006	Jul 21, 07 at 2:38pm ^ re: Joke Thread
	quote Fertro WARNING: These may be offensive to some. These 2 go together... What sits at the bottom of a pool and is white? A drowned Baby What sits at the bottom of a pool and is Green? Same baby two weeks later. ----------------------------------------- What's red, sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a Potato Pealer. What's better than a truck full of dead babies? A live one in the middle, eating it's way out. How do you stop going round on a clothes line? With a pitchfork. What goes round and round and round and then pops? A baby in a microwave. I have a more inappropriate answer to that one. But I ent posting it and I certainly ain't PMing it. Let me just say... meat likes to spin?
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Alvaroduck Hooked on Neo total posts: 4325 since: Apr 2007	Jul 21, 07 at 3:35pm ^ re: Joke Thread
	quote wii_the_people Yo mama is so fat, she's fat. I liked that joke.
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Alvaroduck Hooked on Neo total posts: 4325 since: Apr 2007	Jul 21, 07 at 3:38pm ^ re: Joke Thread
	Sorry for double post but: quote lol.com The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate with a bit of stowed-away rum. He got so drunk that he was still a little drunk the next morning. Later in the day, when the first mate had sobered up, he looked in the ship's log. He read the Captain's entry for the day: "The first mate was drunk today." "Captain, please don't leave that in the log," the mate said. "This could add months or years to my becoming a captain myself." "Well, is it true?" asked the Captain, knowing full well it was. "Yes, it's true," admitted the mate. "If it's true, it has to stay in the log. That's the rule. If it's true, it goes in the log. End of discussion!" said the Captain sternly. Weeks later, it was the first mate's turn to make the log entry. The first mate wrote: "The ship seems to be in good shape. The Captain was sober today."
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neb120 R.I.P Penny! We love you! true seeker total posts: 1022 since: Jan 2007	Jul 21, 07 at 3:58pm ^ re: Joke Thread
	quote Alvaroduck quote wii_the_people Yo mama is so fat, she's fat. I liked that joke. Your weird that wasn't a joke it was sarcasm:notamused: ------------------- "I swear to drunk I am not god!"
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King_X2 The Big Guns CruisiN' since: Nov 2006	Jul 21, 07 at 3:58pm ^ re: Joke Thread
	Instead of Chuck Norris jokes, how about a madtown joke? Madtown doesn't sleep, he waits. ------------------- We don't know who we are until we see what we can do.
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Woudo Neolithic total posts: 6263 GameGrep pts: 155 since: Jan 2007	Jul 21, 07 at 4:05pm ^ re: Joke Thread
	who the hell is madtown? ------------------- Second place in the "Most male shafts polished orally" leaderboards second only to Chirovette. Chirovette clearly boosts his score with the Neoseeker supermods almost daily. No ordinary man can compete with such amazing phallic mastery.
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Dee On Tour boy better know true seeker total posts: 1231 since: Feb 2006	Jul 21, 07 at 6:12pm ^ re: Joke Thread
	quote Woudo who the hell is madtown? I'd advise you to stay awake tonight! ------------------- Is it bright where you are, have the people changed? Does it make you happy you're so strange?
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tommy 34 nike airmax 97's Still Seekin' total posts: 3683 since: Sep 2002	Jul 21, 07 at 6:14pm ^ re: Joke Thread
	yo mama so old her social security number is 1. ------------------- YOUR 2008 NFC CHAMPS THE NEW YORK GIANTS !
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