Joke Thread

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This message was edited by Enigma on Jul 19 2007.

your moms so old she was a waitress at the last super
she's so old she sat behinde jesus in the third grade
shes so old she has a year book with moses in it
shes so fat i took a picture of her last chrstmas and it's still printing she's so fat we are in her right now
ur moms so poor her face is on food stampes

There are two muffins sitting in a muffin pan in the oven.

The first muffin looks to the second and gasps, "Gee it's hot in here!"

The second muffin, clearly in shock, yells "Oh my gosh holly cow, jesus crist, a talking muffin!


Yo mamma is so fat even Naruto can't believe it.

Yo mamma is so fat that when she passed the TV, I missed three commercial.

quote neb120

Why did the chewing-gum cross the road??

It was stuck to the chickens foot!

Why did jesus cross the road?
He was nailed to the chicken.

Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other,

"I'm the luckiest guy in the world".

"Why is that?" said the other tramp.

"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a £20. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."

The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."

"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?"

"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."

quote Tainted

There were three men lost in the jungle. For days they searched for any sign of humanity, but to no avail. Finally they stumbled upon a village.

The head of the village looked at them and said, "Well men, you must prove yourself worthy of our tribe. Go find ten pieces of one kind of fruit and return when you have done so."

The next day the first man returns with 10 apples. The chief looks at him and says, "Now, you must shove them all up your butt without grimacing or uttering a sound. If you fail to do so we will kill you." So the man attempts it, managing to get one in fine but grimacing on the 2nd. The tribe kills him.

The next day the second man comes back to the tribe carrying blueberries. After they explained the task to him he sighed, managing to get the first nine easy. However, on the 10th he starts laughing, and the chief kills him as well.

So, the two men are in heaven, and the first man asks, "Dude, you were so close. Why did you laugh?"

The 2nd man replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

I LOL'd at that one.

What's the difference between out-laws, and in-laws?

Out-laws are wanted.

Yo mama is so fat when she jumped for joy she got stuck.

LOL at Fertro!