Why aren't parents being blamed? - Page 3

quote Demonfurby

1. No kid chooses to be fat.

Yeah, pretty sure most people wouldn't choose to be fat, let alone kids (except for the chubby chasers/people with a fat fetish >_>) but at that age, kids don't know shit about trans fat, saturated fat, counting calories, protein/fiber intake... they just want to eat what's good. Sure, they know fruits/veggies are good, but what kid wants that? But yeah... as a kid, for me, I *bleep*ing hated eating. Like... 9 times out of 10, I was either outside playing with the neighbors, at the playground down the street, playing video games, or whatever. Anything that took time away from that (school, eating, sleeping), I pretty much hated.

quote Sayyed

The 'ol belt is a good parenting tool that people have forgotten about.

I just had this conversation at work not that long ago. It seems like most parents, even the ones I work with, are scared to even touch their kids. Kids are being taught in school that if their parents or anyone lays a finger on them, they can be turned in.

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if they're not given call of duty when their friends are playing it, they'd make a big deal about it. when they cant eat mcdonald after they saw the commercial on tv, they'd make a big deal about it. what are the parents supposed to do?

harden the *bleep* up, thats what. if you are going to cave in to your childrens demands, especially when they chuck a hissy fit over it, youre just going to reinforce that kind of behaviour. its like the old saying goes: you gotta be cruel to be kind. of course, that doesnt mean you have to work your children like dogs, but kids need to know their place.

speaking of dogs, i just remembered that south park episode with the dog whisperer fixing cartmans behaviour - now that i think about it, using some of those methods might not be such a bad idea...

Yeah, sometimes parents should be blamed. Sometimes kids should be blamed. Sometimes teachers should be blamed. Sometimes shady strangers with non-registered vans should be blamed.

It's all circumstantial. Many different things happen out there. Each case should be looked into individually, and judged with care and precision. Generalizing is just cutting corners. It's an irresponsible method that sometimes ends up hurting the wrong people. And you know I'm right.

Why blame parents when you can blame teachers, the media, the government, or a random bystander?

quote hiigaran

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if they're not given call of duty when their friends are playing it, they'd make a big deal about it. when they cant eat mcdonald after they saw the commercial on tv, they'd make a big deal about it. what are the parents supposed to do?

harden the *bleep* up, thats what. if you are going to cave in to your childrens demands, especially when they chuck a hissy fit over it, youre just going to reinforce that kind of behaviour. its like the old saying goes: you gotta be cruel to be kind. of course, that doesnt mean you have to work your children like dogs, but kids need to know their place.

"tough love is largely frowned upon and your reputation in public wouldn't be pleasant either". keep in mind that the current crop of parents were most likely brought up by tough love as well (since tough love stops being the parenting method not until recently), so surely it's an indication tough love doesn't always work?

quote The Hazard

Teach 'em about certain values. That's what parents are supposed to do. Kids don't know any better. If a kid at daycare sees another playing with an attention-drawing Batman toy that can pluck your eyes out, he's gonna run to his mom and plead for the same thing. Some of 'em kids in this scenario wouldn't even know who Batman is.

Reputation in public... tbh it's a good thing a lot of parents don't care about that shit. Except when they pull out their belt or something but generally, they focus(or they should) on the right things. Discipline & values on the early trail.

what's good of values when the kids just won't listen because they won't be able to fit in with others? kids eat maccy d because other kids ate it, kids play call of duty because others are playing it, etc. it seems easy to say "you've gotta teach them values" but its not as easy as it sounds.

i'm pretty sure you've seen a lot of your friends (throughout middle school and high school) smoking weed when their parents blatantly forbid it. i'm pretty sure the parents tried to teach kids the "values". however, as long as your peers (and media) are the primary source of socialization, it's rather hard for parents to teach their kids values they wanted to teach imo.

not saying parents are totally blameless, because im sure they're not exactly perfect. but i'm pretty sure the whole fiasco can also be attributed to outside factors as well as the kids.

the way i see it, it's survival of the fittest. let the natural selection does the work

quote hiigaran

well obviously it wont work in all cases, but im pretty sure that a kid would more likely turn out better with tough love, as opposed to letting the kid do whatever (s)he wants.

different times different measures (imo). some people who were bred in tough love refuse to treat their kids that way because they know how terrible it felt to be treated w/ tough love (in a sense that there are plenty of parents want their kids to have better lives, hence giving them what they want)

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of course it is. you control what your kid gets, because you are the one buying and allowing your kid to eat/play/do whatever it is we are talking about. fitting in with others is a silly point. you dont need to eat the same food as someone else, or play the same computer games to fit in. if you need something external to help you fit in with a group, chances are that the very same thing that helped you fit in will cause more harm in the long run. computer games for example...what will they do? get the kid addicted to the game, and before you know it, you have a gaming addict who becomes antisocial with everyone else.

yea but when your child wont stop crying because you didn't get him the new call of duty and pushing him away means you could get arrested for domestic abuse, what other option do you have? fitting with others is a solid point. most people want to fit in with others- and in order to fit in with others, they'd need to have some sort of shared interest. eg, call of duty, eating mcdonald, smoking weed, etc. obviously you could have a much better common interest, but we're talking about the majority of population here

but to be fair, we probably won't understand any of this until we have our own children. heard plenty of people said they've changed when they had their first child? i have, so it wont surprise me a little bit

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heh, i wish it were that simple. statistically speaking, idiots have more kids than educated people.

hence it's always the 1% vs 99%. natural selection. you have the option to be in the 1%, but most people wouldn't take up the option. why should i care about people wasting their lives away when im doing better for myself? isn't it the premise of being the most fittest specimen? to achieve better than the others.

have you had a younger sibling? do you know how annoying crying sounds like? that in addition to stress influenced by outside factors. domestic abuse is probably an exaggeration (lol) but i think you'll understand why people would resort to giving their children what they want when they've spent at least 9 hours/ day in such stressful environments. not to mention we live in an era where both parents spend 9 hours outside of school and only probably have 2 hours to bond with their children on the weekdays. teachers probably have more important roles in teaching values imo

screwed up kids aren't actually that much imo. sure, there are idiots here and there, but i don't think it's as bad as people make it to be.